


Wake Me Up When It's All Over

by xxawalkinwonderlandxx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brotp, But we know our boys are stoners, Coping, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, POV Bellamy, POV Clarke, Slow Burn, Some Drug Use, mild violence, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-09-21 09:30:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 133,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17041208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxawalkinwonderlandxx/pseuds/xxawalkinwonderlandxx
Summary: AU Where Clarke is struggling to deal with some things that have happened to her and The Delinquents take her in so she tries to build herself a new life - but they don't know what she's running from, Raven just knows that something happened that caused Clarke to give up her life, and Bellamy is just a thorn in her side that she can't seem to get rid of





	1. Chapter 1

Bellamy is woken up by pounding on his door and muffled yelling, when he looks at the clock on his nightstand he sees that it’s four in the morning and tries his very best to ignore the incessant noise that’s woken him up. A person grumbles beside him as he rolls over and presses a pillow to his head. _She needs to go. I’m still too drunk for this._

“Dude wake the fuck up! It’s Raven!” Murphy continues banging on his door as Bellamy jumps out of bed, the alcoholic effects clearing from his brain as he tugs on his jeans from earlier. He swings open the door only to be faced with a seething Murphy.

“What happened?”

“Finn happened.” Before Murphy can say anything more he’s grabbing a shirt from the ground. “She needs us to come get her, you weren’t answering your phone.”

Bellamy pulls his phone out of his pocket and sure enough there were three missed calls from Raven and five texts.

_Hey are you up?_

_I know you’re probably banging but pick up_

_It’s important_

_Dude, how much can you get laid?_

_Please, answer_

Uneasiness settles in Bellamy’s stomach. Raven was never one to ask for favors and she certainly wasn’t one to actually say please when she needed something. If it was to the point where she had to beg him to answer, he knew something was seriously wrong.

“What did he do?” Bellamy asks while walking to his truck, keys in hand and his glasses on. He hates wearing them but there’s no time to put in contacts.

“She didn’t go into much detail, just that she’s at his house and _something_ happened. She started crying.”

“What the fuck…”

“I know.”

Bellamy tightened his grip on the steering wheel has he sped down the road. Another thing about Raven was that she never cried. Last time she did was a couple of years ago when she got into her car wreck but she hadn’t cried after that. Everyone in their group liked Finn except Bellamy, the guy was a knock-off boyband douche but Bellamy put up with him, as civilly as he could, for Raven even though the guy put him on edge. He knew it was only a matter of time before he did something to hurt Raven despite the fact that they’ve known each other all of their life. Bellamy tightened his grip even more until his knuckles were white at the thought. _Fucking asshole_.

Within fifteen minutes they were pulling up in front of Finn’s house, which he had just moved back into, and Raven was sitting on the steps with a bottle in her hand. She didn’t look up when they got out of the truck but he could see that her face was puffy from crying and her eyelids were drooping. There was a sag in her shoulders and when she did finally look up at them, her eyes looked like her entire world had come crashing down around her.

“Where the fuck is he?” Murphy asked as he bound up the steps to Finn’s front door and Bellamy bent down by Raven.

“He’s gone.” Her voice was barely recognizable, hoarse from crying.

“Raven, what happened?” Bellamy’s voice was soft as he touched her shoulder and she peered up at him.

“He–he cheated on m–me.” Sobs began racking her body and she leaned into Bellamy’s chest. He looked up at Murphy and saw his anger mirrored back at him.

“Let’s go home.”

Raven didn’t say anything as she tried to stand but wavered on her feet. Murphy reached over and grabbed the bottle from her hands as Bellamy picked her up and walked towards his truck, depositing her in the backseat as Murphy climbed in the other side. They didn’t say anything the entire ride back, mostly because Raven fell asleep with her head resting on Murphy’s shoulder. When they got back to the house Bellamy scooped Raven up in his arms again just as her phone began ringing from the seat where it must’ve fallen out of her pocket. Murphy picked it up and looked at the screen then showed it to Bellamy, _Finn_  popped up with a picture of him and Raven from her last birthday. Bellamy rolled his eyes and began making his way up the steps as Murphy hit reject and they made their way to the spare bedroom, assuming Raven didn’t want to wake up in her own room surrounded by all of her pictures. As they closed the door Raven’s phone began ringing from inside Murphy’s pocket and he pulled it out, answering it and putting it on speaker.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Where’s Raven?”

“Wouldn’t you like to fucking know?” Bellamy snapped as they made their way into Murphy’s room.

“I just want to—“

“You don’t get to anything. We found her crying on your front steps, you hurt her, now leave her the fuck alone.”

“It’s not like that, Blake. Lis—” Murphy cut him off.

“Dude fuck off. If you call her again we’ll be less nice, consider this a warning.” They hung up and Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair.

“Did he seriously say ‘it’s not like that’?”

“I’m not surprised. Are you?” Bellamy let out a sigh and crossed his arms.

“No.”

“Didn’t think so.”

Bellamy ran his hands over his face, this was going to be shit show. Suddenly the adrenaline he had been experiencing from being woken up and told about Raven was replaced with tiredness but the anger was still there. He mumbled something to Murphy about going to sleep and Murphy waved him out, but when Bellamy opened his door to see the girl still in his bed he sighed and pushed back into Murphy’s room, a pillow had been thrown on the floor with a blanket. As soon as Bellamy’s head hit the pillow he was asleep. _They would figure everything out tomorrow._

\---

The weeks following the breakup were terrible. Raven was constantly switching between being mad and breaking down, Finn kept trying to talk to her and even showed up at the house but was turned away by a glaring Bellamy along with Murphy, Monty, and even Jasper. Of course, that didn’t keep Raven from opening the window before he could leave and throwing everything she had from him. She had _really_ good aim. It wasn’t until a month later when Raven walked through the front door with a smile on her face that caused everyone to stop in their tracks.

“Did you murder him without me?” Murphy asked from his spot draped across the armchair with a cup of coffee in his hands. Raven rolled her eyes.

“No. Are we still up for someone to rent out the spare room?” Bellamy’s eyes narrowed at her.

“I suppose.”

“Great, because I have someone moving in tomorrow.”

“What?” Murphy nearly choked on his coffee.

“She’s great, I promise. She’s moving here from D.C. and needs a place to stay.”

“We haven’t even met her.”

“I know, which is why we’re all going out tonight to The Drop Ship so I can introduce you.”

“Raven, are you sure? Who do you even know in D.C.?” Monty’s voice came from inside the kitchen.

“She’s the girl Finn cheated on me with.”

The room erupted.

“What the hell, Raven?”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“You can’t possibly be serious!”

Raven held up her hand, effectively silencing everyone. “She didn’t know that he had a girlfriend, she was in the same boat as me when she found out. She reached out to me and we started talking. Look, she needs this and I’m helping her. You can either accept that or find somewhere else to live.” Raven raised her eyebrows and everyone just mumbled that they’d go tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets the Delinquents

Clarke got to The Dropship early and was wringing her hands at the bar. She had ordered a mojito, since that always seemed to be refreshing whenever she drank it but decided she needed something stronger if she was going to do this. So after she finished her first drink she ordered a shot of vodka and relished in how it burned going down her throat. Of course she didn’t want to get drunk before Raven showed up along with all of her roommates, but she needed _something_ to take the edge off of her nerves. If Wells were there he’d tell her to just relax, that she was just overthinking things, but he wasn’t and suddenly she felt like she was going to be sick. She missed him.

She pushed all thoughts of D.C. out of her mind as the door to the front of the bar opened and she heard a group of people talking. She turned in her seat and immediately saw Raven in the front, her heartrate skyrocketing. She had talked to Raven on the phone a decent amount, they texted a lot, and they even Skyped a couple of times. She noticed a guy next to her, tall and lanky with goggles propped on top of his shaggy brown hair, another guy was next to him waving his hands around in the air as they looked at each other, obviously in a deep conversation. Her eyes went to Raven’s other side and saw a tall guy with black curls and arms that seemed to be bigger than her head, followed by someone behind him who she couldn’t see.

“Hey!” Raven’s face lit up as she laid eyes on Clarke and opened her arms to pull Clarke in for a hug.

“Hey, Raven.” She let herself lean into the hug and felt some of her uneasiness disappear.

“Okay, so introductions.” Raven pulled back but kept her arm around her shoulders. “The guy with the goggles is Jasper, beside him is Monty, this brooding asshole is Bellamy, and behind him is John Murphy but everyone just calls him Murphy.” Everyone nodded and said their hellos.

“Wait—John Murphy?“ Bellamy stepped aside and looked at Murphy.

“Holy shit, Clarke!” Murphy bound towards her and Raven let her go as Murphy scooped her up in a bone-crushing hug.

“John fucking Murphy!” She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “How did you get all the way out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Griffin.” He let her go and smiled down at her. “Did you come all the way here to profess your undying love for me?”

“You wish. How would I have even known where to find you? It’s been, what? Nine years?”

“Ten but who’s counting?”

 “How do you guys know each other?” Raven was standing off to the side with her arms crossed, looking between the two of them.

“We went to school together, she threw her food at me one day, completely unprovoked I might add—“

“Unprovoked? You threw pudding all over my drawing!”

“—And then she proceeded to make my life hell after that.”

“You deserved it.”

“I said I was sorry! And then—“

“Then at some point throwing food at him turned into sharing it and I haven’t gotten rid of him since.”

Murphy feigned being hurt. “Griffin, you wound me, I thought our love was pure.” She rolled her eyes. “But then I moved and we lost contact.” He threw an arm over her shoulder. “Now that you’re moving in with us, good luck getting rid of me now.” She groaned but still had a smile on her face.

“Great.”

The rest of the night went as smoothly as she could have hoped for, but the only thing that set her on edge was the way Bellamy looked at her. He seemed to be glaring at her and scrutinizing her the every time she looked at him. She understood, she was part of the reason why Raven was hurt but she figured if her and Raven could get along then everyone else would do the same. Jasper and Monty took to telling stories about how they met and what they’re going to college for, chemical engineering and computer engineering, respectively, Murphy tried catching her up on stuff that she’d missed the past nine years and apparently he had gone to culinary school but was working as a bartender for the time being, and Raven talked to her about all of the things she wanted to show her as soon as possible while everyone kept adding things to the list. No one asked her why she was moving away from D.C., they didn’t ask if she was enrolled in school, but they asked her about her art which Raven had seemed to talk about, and they talked about what she planned to do once she settled in.

It wasn’t until Raven and Monty decided to go play a game of pool with Jasper cheering them on, and Murphy left to get another round of drinks, that Clarke realized she was alone with Bellamy sitting across from her and slightly to the left at the table. They sat in silence, his gaze was heavy on her and after a moment, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Do you have a problem with staring at people?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Do you have a problem of sleeping with guys who are in relationships?”

“I honestly did not know about Raven.”

“Right.”

“Seriously!” She threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “I don’t care if you don’t believe me, Raven does and that’s all that matters. Go brood and glare somewhere else!” Something flashed behind Bellamy’s eyes but it quickly went away, Clarke was wondering if she imagined it. She and Bellamy were still glaring at each other when Murphy walked up.

“Okay, the two of you look like you’re about to kill each other.” He set down the drinks he had been carrying and plopped down in the seat next to Clarke, throwing his arm over the back of her chair. “Calm down, Blake, don’t be such a dick.”

“Fuck you, Murphy.” Bellamy downed his drink then stood up. “I’m going to get some air.” Murphy flipped him off and once he was out of earshot Clarke let out a whistle.

“He is quite the ray of sunshine isn’t he?”

“He’s still pissed about the whole Finn thing, he really did a number on Raven.” Murphy leaned back in his seat, balancing on the back two legs. “Bellamy is actually a great guy once you get past him being an asshole, and he’s scary loyal once you’re friends.”

“Finn did a number on me too, not as badly as Raven but…I don’t know. That was my first real relationship and it crashed and burned.”

“Cheers to messed up first relationships!” Murphy raised his glass up and Clarke did the same. “Now, let’s give you a proper welcoming and get fucked up like we’re still teenagers!” He slammed his chair down and stood up, pulling Clarke with him.

By the time the bar was closing down Bellamy was nowhere to be seen but Raven just rolled her eyes and mumbled something about wanting to avoid awkward eye contact the next time a girl tries to leave the following morning. _Why doesn’t that surprise me?_ Clarke thought to herself. As they made their way outside Jasper and Monty had their arms thrown around each other singing “All Star” by Smash Mouth and Raven had her arms wrapped around Clarke and Murphy. She said that she was too drunk to walk properly but Clarke assumed it had something to do with her left leg hurting her, though she would never admit it.

\---

The next day when Clarke woke up she was slightly disoriented until she realized she was in her motel room, Raven was passed out beside her on the bed, Jasper and Monty were asleep on the little couch, and Murphy was on the floor, snoring slightly. Clarke didn’t remember how she got to the motel or how exactly everyone came to also be in her room with her, but it made her feel relaxed. She was moving in with these guys today, she had fun last night, aside from the whole Bellamy thing, and she finally got to meet Raven and reconnect with Murphy. The thoughts of back home and everything that had transpired over the last couple of weeks still caused anxiety and she could feel the panic starting to make its way into her chest, but she pushed it down and looked at the people around her. She could do this. She could make this work.

Clarke slowly made her way to the bathroom, trying to avoid waking up anyone as she went. She had just finished brushing her teeth when she heard her phone go off so she quickly made her way to the nightstand by the bed and picked it up. _Not her phone_. She then realized it was Murphy’s on the dresser and she moved to pick it up since it was clear no one else was going to. When she picked it up there was a picture of Bellamy flipping off the camera with a grin on his face with _Asshole_ as his name. Clarke realized that he was probably wondering where everyone was so without a second thought she swiped to answer the phone.

“Murphy! Where the hell is everyone?”

“Uh, Murphy is still asleep. Everyone is passed out.”

“Clarke?”

“Hi.”

“Why are you answering Murphy’s phone?”

“Like I said, everyone is passed out. We’re in my motel room.” Bellamy let out a deep sigh on the other end of the line.

“Want me to come get them?”

“No, its fine, I’m supposed to move in today anyway so I can just give them a ride back.” There was a muffled voice coming from Bellamy’s side of the phone and she could hear him let out a low _shit_.

“You sure?” Now it was Clarke’s turn to sigh. She realized he probably wanted a reason to leave his house, so she caved.

“Fine, if you want to come get them then I’m staying at the Eligius, room 14.” Bellamy let out a quick breath, and when he talked again he seemed relieved.

“Great, I’ll be there in twenty.”

Bellamy was true to his word and knocked on Clarke’s room door exactly twenty minutes later which had given her enough time to take a shower and wash off the lingering smell of booze and stale smoke from the night before. When she opened the door Bellamy was standing there in a dark blue hoodie with his hands inside the pockets of his black jeans, and his curly, black hair seemed un-brushed. He also seemed like he barely got any sleep last night so Clarke assumed Raven had been right about him going home with somebody.

“Going to make me stand out here all day, Princess?” 

“Princess?” She quirked one of her eyebrows.

“Yeah, Princess.” He smirked at her. “Seems fitting if you ask me.”

“How so?” She crossed her arms.

“Growing up with a silver spoon in your mouth, looking down on all of the people who don’t meet your standards. Like I said, seems fitting.”

“You have no right—“

“Jesus, Bellamy, leave her alone.” Raven groaned from the bed. She sat up and rubbed her eyes then gave him a pointed look. “She’s going to be our new roommate so at least try to be nice.” Bellamy huffed and Clarke stepped aside to let him into the room. “Now, I’m going to the bathroom so don’t kill each other.” Raven stood up and made her way to the bathroom, kicking Murphy awake in the process and telling him to keep an eye on them.

“Great, always love seeing your bright, smiling face in the morning, Blake.” Bellamy scowled at Murphy from his place resting against the dresser. Clarke rubbed her hands over her face and suppressed a sigh. She liked everyone in this room, everyone except the one guy who seemed like he was making it his sole mission to make her life miserable. _Don’t worry about him, you can do this,_ she told herself, y _ou can do this_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke moves in!

After everyone had woken up they piled into either Clarke or Bellamy’s car and made their way towards the house. When they pulled into the driveway, Clarke was pleasantly surprised at how the house looked. It was an old, two story, red brick house with white windows and a white arch walkway at the front door, with a screened in outside area to the right of it. Raven had said that when she was a teenager she worked for a mechanic named Sinclair, and when she turned eighteen she left home and Sinclair offered her this place to live since he didn’t have anything he wanted to do with it, but it was his family’s house and he didn’t want to sell it. Then over time she got more and more people to move in for relatively cheap and now Clarke was moving in. As Clarke went to grab the few bags she had out of her trunk Raven followed her and picked up her duffel.

“Welcome home.” She said with a smile. Clarke returned the smile and looked back at the house. _Could this really be home?_ She thought back to Wells and wondered if he would’ve liked this place, then immediately felt a darkness begin to wrap itself around her chest and suddenly it was hard to breathe. Raven, seeming to notice something was wrong, wrapped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders and held her tight while directing her towards the front of the house. “Let me show you around.”

The inside of the house was warm and inviting. The floors were hardwood that looked as if they had seen better days but they still looked as if they had been polished, there were entryways on both sides, one leading to the dining room on her right and one opening up into the living room on her left, and there was a staircase in front of her right past the doorway to the dining room. The house seemed bigger on the inside than it did the outside, but that was probably because of the open floor plan.

“You like it? It took me, Bellamy, and Murphy an entire summer to remodel, now I don’t feel cramped everywhere I go.”

“It’s wonderful, Raven.” Raven smiled back at her and continued through the house.

“So, here’s the living room, there’s usually a fight about what gets watched on TV but we have communal Netflix and Hulu accounts so you can share my profile. The living room leads into the kitchen and a smaller dining room than the one by the door. Then if you keep going across the hallway, you have the laundry room. Everyone usually has their own detergent and stuff though since the guys don’t like smelling like perfume.” Raven grinned at Clarke and she couldn’t help but return it. “Down here is the Study that usually gets used as a work space as well as the bigger dining room when we need a larger place to spread our stuff out that can’t be done in our rooms. Outside is a screened in porch where we'll play beer pong from time to time." With her arm still gripping Clarke's shoulder, Raven leads her up the stairs. "So, my door is the one right here to the left," she points at the door right in the corner by the stairwell, "the first on the right is Monty's, across from him is Jasper, next to Jasper is Murphy, across from Murphy is Bellamy, and your room is at the very end on the left." 

When they walk into Clarke's new bedroom she goes slack jawed. The walls are a deep blue, not dark enough to be black but not bright enough to where it would be obnoxious. The trimming and ceiling are weight along with white curtains that are blowing from the slight breeze coming in through the open window. The bed is against the wall to her right along with nightstands on either side, and there is a small desk on the wall by the window, a dresser to her left, and a closet at the other end. It's smaller than what she's used to, but Clarke loves it all the same. She walks further into the room and turns in a circle, taking it all in. Her room at her parent's house had been stark white and she wasn't allowed to paint it, as to why she never had an idea. But standing in this room she felt like she was surrounded by the night sky and when she looked up there were even glow-in-the-dark stars and moons. She smiled.

"Raven, I love it!" Clarke smiled at the other girl then they dropped her bags on the bed.

"I'm glad to hear it." Raven grinned back. "Now, tour is over, I'm starving, so let's start your tour of the city now!" As the girls made their way back downstairs everyone had seemed to gather in the living room and were in a heated discussion about where to go eat, well, everyone except Jasper; he seemed like he had a hangover.

"Murphy, you need to eat something other than fast food for breakfast."

"Like hell I do! It's fast, cheap, and tastes good." Bellamy rolled his eyes and Murphy crossed his arms.

"Great, you guys are hungry, we're going to Louie's."

Louie's turned out to be a small cafe down the road that still seemed like it was in the fifties. The floors where checkered black and white with teal walls, white metal tables, red and white chairs, and a bar with red metal stools that seemed to wrap around the kitchen. The waitress seemed to be going for a pinup style with curled hair and red lips, but she wasn't particularly nice to anyone except Bellamy; batting her eyelashes at him when she handed off the menus and taking their drink order. He didn't seem particularly phased by it, just giving her a small smile and tell her thank you. Clarke tried to hid her eye roll behind the menu. Going out with him was going to be a nightmare, girls seemed to flock to him and apparently he didn't think much when it came to taking them home.

"See anything you like, Princess?" Bellamy was sitting across from her at the end of the table, smirking. She hadn't realized that she had been staring at him.

"Not particularly." The waitress came back with their drink orders and made a point to touch Bellamy's hand when she told them (though looking at him) to let her know if they need anything then walked off. "God, that's getting irritating and throwing me off my appetite."

"Why? Jealous?" 

"Don't you wish."

"Come on, Princess, are you sure there's nothing you like?" She rolled her eyes and brought her menu back up to her face.

"Please, go back to brooding and glaring and stop talking to me." She didn't look at him as she said it, but she could've sworn she heard a slight chuckle come from across the table.

Once the food came everyone sat in a companionable silence as they scarfed down all of the omelets and bacon and toast. Everyone was right when they said that Louie's had the best omelets, and it was all relatively cheap too, though the service could've been a little better since the waitress was bordering on hostile to anyone that wasn't Bellamy. As they walked back to the house Jasper and Monty took to pointing out all of the places they liked going when Clarke noticed a coffee shop tucked away behind an iron gate and vines.

"What's that place?"

"That's The Secret Garden, it's a pretty cool place to go if you want some coffee and a quiet place to study." Clarke nodded at Jasper then made a mental note to come back and sketch it, it seemed like a really nice place to find some peace and quiet if she ever needed it.

After everyone got back to the house they all split up, going into their separate rooms to change and get cleaned up before starting the rest of their day. Clarke stood in the middle of her room trying to figure out what she wanted to do with it. She hadn't brought much with her, just a backpack, her drawing bag, and her duffel bag, so she decided to put the clothes she had away and then organized her art supplies on her desk. The room was starting to become more familiar, even if the only thing that had really changed was her art supplies being moved to where they were visible. Next she got some drawings from out of her backpack and taped them to the walls. They weren't much, just some land and cityscape sketches she did on her drive there, but it wasn't anything from D.C. so she didn't mind having them up. When she was done she put the sheets that she had brought with her on the bed then threw herself on it, looking up at the stars on her ceiling. Things were going, she enjoyed breakfast, everyone seemed to have accepted her, well,  _almost_ everyone. Bellamy was still going to be a thorn in her side until he finally got over his issues with what happened with Finn. She took a deep breath then closed her eyes.  _You can do this_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Louie's is actually a real cafe and it has some really good food, so I figured why not add it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is almost double the last chapter, and I seem to have a problem with remembering whether I'm using present or past tense, so please bear with me! It was very late when I wrote this but it seems to be fixed now.

At some point Clarke falls asleep while waiting for everyone to get ready and she’s catapulted back to D.C.. She’s in the car with Wells, they're screaming “All The Small Things” by Blink-182 at the top of their lungs late at night, her feet are up on the dash, his sunroof is open, and she feels happy. She isn’t thinking about the affair, or the hospital, it’s only her, and Wells, and the open roads.

Suddenly, the music is gone and he’s looking at her, a sad smile on his face. 

“Wells?”

“You left, Clarke.”

“Wells, what are you—”

“You left me. You left behind everything.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“I miss you, Clarke.”

Then, there’s a bright light that comes out of nowhere and Clarke turns to grab the steering wheel, but it’s too late. She feels the impact, the pain in her head, the smell of blood. She knows she’s screaming his name, but she can’t see him, she’s surrounded by darkness, the smell of gas and exhaust burning her nose. She tries reaching for him in the black but she can't find him, she can never find him, now she’s falling…

“Clarke! Wake up!” She jerks awake to see Bellamy standing over her, his brows knit together in concern. Clarke can still smell the blood and gas in her nose but when she looks around she’s in her new room, surrounded by the blue walls and evening light. She’s not in D.C., she’s not in the car, and she’s not with Wells. She closes her eyes and takes a deep steadying breath. “I was coming out of my room and heard you screaming.”

“Um,” her voice is trembling, “I’m sorry, it was a bad dream.” She can’t look him in the eyes, but the fact that he actually came into her room and looks worried actually freaks her out more than the nightmare.

“Don’t apologize, just don’t scream again, it’s annoying.” There’s no malice in his words and there’s a slight curve to the edges of his lips, she knows he’s just trying to make her feel better and it works, to some degree. It’s still freaking her out though. She gives him a weak smile in return and he walks out of her room, keeping the door slightly cracked.

The dream wasn’t anything new, except for the fact that Wells had actually talked to her. It’s always been the same: them laughing, them singing, then the crash, and her screaming for him. She pushes herself out of the bed and walks across the hall to the bathroom. She splashes some water on her face and looks into the mirror, she’s very pale and there are slight dark circles under her eyes despite having slept like the dead the night before. She is going to make this work, she is going to start over, she can do that. _He_ would want her to do that. She reaches over and grabs a hand towel to dry her face off. _It’s just going to take some time_.

\--- 

Bellamy actually hadn’t been coming out of his room when he heard Clarke screaming from down the hall, he had been asleep too. He remembers back when he had first moved in with Raven, she had nightmares too, and so did Murphy to some extent. He was always woken up in the middle of the night by either Raven crying or Murphy yelling and he always woke them up and let Raven cry on his shoulder or laid on Murphy’s floor until he heard his breathing even out. Jasper and Monty never had nightmares like those though, and by the time they moved in Raven and Murphy had quit having theirs.

He could say that the only reason why he woke Clarke up is because her screaming was irritating and he wanted to get back to sleep, and sure that was part of it, but the way she sounded tore at him. Her scream was bloodcurdling and he was surprised no one else in the house had heard her; she sounded as if her heart was being ripped in two and before he woke her up the look on her face was one of anguish. He thinks back to the way Octavia’s nightmares had made him feel, but he hadn’t had anyone else’s affect him like hers had, not until he had to wake up his new, blonde, intolerable, roommate.

Raven had said that Clarke ‘needed this’ move, but Bellamy couldn’t figure out _why_ she needed it, though, if the sound of her screaming during her nightmare said anything about it, it was clear that something terrible happened. He groans and rolls over in his bed, her scream still echoing in his ears. _Great, now he’s not going to get any sleep_.

\---

Clarke busied herself drawing after she was woken up, trying to push the nightmare from her mind. She was fully immersed in the smell of charcoal and wooden pencils when someone knocked on her door.

“Hey, Picasso, time to party.” She turns to see Murphy leaning against her doorway, his arms crossed. “Glad to see your talent hasn’t improved in the past decade.”

“You wouldn’t know talent if it slapped you in the face.”

“Neither do you apparently.” Clarke takes a balled up sketch and throws it at him, which he ducks, a smile on his face.

“Where are we partying?”

“Here.” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes and Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little worried. “I know that look, Griffin, nothing sinister is going to happen you just get to meet the rest of our friends.”

Murphy leads her down the stairs and into the kitchen. There are already red solo cups stacked on the counters along with a large beverage dispenser (which Clarke assumes isn’t water), the fridge seems to only be holding beer, and then Jasper and Monty walk in holding enough pizza and chips to feed an entire army.

“Great, you’re up!” Jasper seemed genuinely excited and it makes Clarke smile.

“Hope you like pizza and nachos.” 

“You’d have to be insane to not like pizza and nachos, Monty." He grins at her. "So, how many people can we actually expect to be here tonight?”

“Maybe about twenty? Sometimes people just show up once they hear we’re having a party.” Before Clarke can respond there’s the sound of the front door opening and some loud voices. Clarke walks out into the hallway just in time to see people filing in through the door.

“This isn’t a party Reyes, you should be ashamed!”

“Stuff it, Wick!”

“Goggles!” A tall, broad, dirty blond haired guy spots Jasper then bounds down the hall towards them but stops when he gets to Clarke, grinning. “Are you the reason for this party?”

“I–uh, yes?”

“Friend!” The guy, Wick, bends down and wraps her in a big hug, lifting her off the ground and as a startled laugh escapes from her.

“Put her down, Wick, you’re going to scare her.” Raven walks out of the study, locking the door behind her before walking up the hall towards them. “Clarke, this is Kyle Wick, we’re both studying mechanical engineering. He’s a pain in my ass and the bane of my existence but if you get past all of that he’s just a big puppy.” The smile that Raven turns on Wick startles Clarke, and it’s something she’s going to have to remember to ask her about later.

“Where’s the alcohol?” Someone calls as three more people walk through the door.

“And that would be Miller, his boyfriend Bryan, and Monty’s girlfriend Harper.”

“Nice to meet you guys.” 

“It is so nice to have another girl! We’re almost even with the guys now, don’t let them scare you off.” Harper throws her arms around her and winks, then moves to where Monty is standing in the kitchen.

As time went on, more and more people piled throughout the house and suddenly Clarke was reminded of the parties she went to with Wells, except instead of navigating the party with him she was being escorted by Murphy and Raven.

“Clarke, shots!” Jasper jumps in front of her with his goggles actually on his eyes now.

“Oh, I don't—”

“Scared, Griffin?” Murphy is smirking down at her.

“Of course not!”

“You sure about that?” There’s a challenge in his eyes and Clarke can feel her competitiveness starting to take over. She narrows her eyes at him.

“Bring it on.”

Jasper and Monty line up lined up five cups on the bar as Clarke and Murphy position themselves across from each other at the end. Clarke can’t remember the last time she’s played flip cup and is pretty sure that Murphy is way more experienced than her and is fixing to kick her ass, but she focuses on the task at hand. Monty and Jasper both count down and then Clarke and Murphy are off. It was over in less than a minute.

“I was wrong, long may you reign, Princess.” Murphy does a mock bow and Clarke scrunches up her face at him.

“Dick! don’t call me that.”

“Wow, I try to be nice and this is how you treat me? I’m shocked.” She pushes him lightly and he chuckles as a deep voice booms over the music.

“Murphy! Ready to get your ass kicked at beer pong?” Clarke turns to see Bellamy standing in the doorway by the hall.

“I think you should be asking yourself that question.” Murphy drapes his arm over Clarke’s shoulders. “Clarke is going to beat your ass.” Bellamy shifts his gaze from Murphy to Clarke, an amused expression spreading across his face.

“Does the Princess think she’s up for it?” He spits the name out at her and Clarke can feel the competitiveness taking full control, and probably the alcohol, when she decides to walk from under Murphy’s arm and right up to Bellamy; close enough to where she can see every freckle on his golden skin.

“Bring it on, Blake.” A smirk forms on his lips then he turns around and begins walking towards the back patio with Clarke and Murphy following behind him.

The back patio was quieter than the house but Clarke can still feel the bass reverberating through the floor as she and Murphy settle on their side of the table. The other person on Bellamy’s team is Miller and behind him is his boyfriend Bryan and behind Bellamy is a slender brunette who Clarke thinks she was introduced to at some point. _Roma, her name is Roma_.

“I cannot miss this!” Raven stumbles out of the house with Wick following behind her and Jasper, Monty, and Harper following him.

“You first, Blake.” Murphy throws the ball towards Bellamy. When he gets ready to take the shot he focuses his gaze on Clarke, not blinking, then promptly sinks the ball into one of their cups. “All yours, Griffin.” Clarke takes the ball from Murphy without taking her eyes off of Bellamy. If that’s how he wants to play this game then so be it, she can play too. Following his lead, Clarke sinks the ball into one of their cups and she can see a slight smirk on Bellamy’s lips.

As they continued the game, Clarke began to notice that any time it was Bellamy’s turn he focused on her and not where he was throwing. Not that he really needed to. Whenever Clarke made a cup she could hear the cheers from all around her, the loudest coming from Raven and Harper. Then, there were only three cups left on the table: two in front of Clarke and Murphy and one in front of Bellamy and Miller. Bellamy goes back to brooding as Clarke lines up the shot, keeping up with their personal game of staring, and she misses.

“Fuck.”

“Getting nervous, Princess?” Clarke wants to slap the smirk off of his face. Without waiting for her response, Bellamy takes the shot and misses, his eyes darkening.

“Getting nervous?” Clarke quips back, earning a snort from Murphy. Bellamy’s gaze turns into a glare and suddenly, this is _war_.

Murphy misses, then Miller makes it, and Clarke takes the cup and downs the contents, she can feel herself beginning to slip away from the amount of alcohol she’s consumed but she tries to keep her thinking straight. Bellamy takes the ball, aims, misses. When Clarke gets the ball, she thinks of breaking their game of staring so she can make sure her and Murphy win, but she knows that if she does that then it would mean backing down from Bellamy. Which she _isn’t_ going to do. She takes a deep breath and everyone around her seems to be holding theirs. Two cups left and she only has to make one. She gets ready, then she hears it.

It’s muffled by the walls and the closed doors that lead into the house, but she can hear it nonetheless. “All The Small Things” by Blink-182 is blasting through the stereo system in the living room. She’s back in the car. Wells is singing. She can see the light flash before her eyes. She can smell the blood. She can feel the darkness around her. She can—

“Clarke, you ready?” She's brought back to the present by Murphy, so she takes a deep breath and nods. She’s not in D.C. anymore. She raises her gaze to Bellamy’s and it’s changed somehow, she can’t tell what it is but it’s unsettling. She takes her position and let’s the ball fly, it settles in the cup with a nice _plop_ and everyone behind her erupts into cheers.

“Suck it!” Murphy pumps his fists in the air as Bellamy huffs.

“Fuck off, Murphy.” Then he wraps his arm around Roma’s shoulders and, with one last look at Clarke, he disappears into the house.

She starts to follow everyone she begins to sway a little on her feet but Raven and Harper are at her sides, keeping her up.

“I cannot believe you just beat Bellamy at peer pong, that almost never happens!” Harper squeaks.

“The two of you looked like you were going to kill each other the entire time.” Clarke giggles at Raven.

“I told him he had a staring problem.” The other girls laugh as they bring Clarke up to her room.

“Alright, time to kick everyone out of my house.” Raven and Harper deposit Clarke onto her bed. “I’ll bring some water up in a second.” Clarke nods and once the girls leave, she stares up at her ceiling. Everything else seems to be spinning but the stars and the moons above her are still, keeping her grounded. She doesn’t know how long she’s staring at the ceiling when Raven comes back into her room with a large bottle of water and two advil, but it’s been long enough to where she’s beginning to fall asleep.

“Did you know that there’s constellations on the ceiling?” Clarke asks, and Raven looks up.

“No, I didn’t.” She places the water and advil on the nightstand and motions for Clarke to scoot over as she joins her on the bed. “But this was Sinclair’s room when he was a kid, so I’m not surprised.”

“When I was a kid, my father used to bring me and my best friend out to the mountains every now and then to camp and he always spent time showing us the constellations. It was nice.” Clarke doesn’t know why she’s telling Raven this, but she can figure it’s probably the alcohol. She’s hardly talked about her father in months.

“It seems nice.” Raven murmurs, clearly on the verge of passing out. “I should get to bed. Drink your water.” She gives Clarke a stern look but Clarke appreciates the small gesture showing she cares. Just as Raven is about to shut the door, Clarke stops her.

“Hey, Raven?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for this.” Raven gives her a shy smile then closes the door behind her.

Clarke goes back to staring at her ceiling while trying to force down as much of the water as she can. This is the second night in a row she’s had fun with these people, and it’s _freeing_. She wasn’t plagued with thoughts about D.C. for most of the night, which is an improvement from when she was driving, she met new people, she laughed, this is where she needs to be, right here, surrounded by her new friends. Even Bellamy in some weird way. He challenges her in a way no one else has, when he met her last night he expected her to back down but she didn’t, and she didn’t back down tonight. It could be fun messing with him and, from what she saw earlier when he woke her up, he wasn’t a complete asshole void of all emotion. She brings one of her pillows up and hugs it as sleep begins to take her away. _Yeah, this could be okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a look inside Bellamy's thoughts about Clarke.

The next morning Bellamy wakes up alone in bed, which is a relief because Roma knows he doesn’t let anyone stay despite her past attempts to try. He checks the clock and it’s not even noon yet, but he knows that if he doesn’t get up now then the headache he has is just going to get worse. With a groan he gets out of bed, tugging on his black sweatpants and fumbling around for his glasses. _He’s too hungover for this_. He yanks open his door and is about to go down the stairs when he looks towards Clarke’s room. He didn’t hear her screaming during the night after the party ended, but then again he had completely passed out and was sure nothing could have woken him. He contemplates going to check on her but dismisses the thought from his head, padding his way into the kitchen.

With the smell of coffee in his nose and caffeine making it’s way through his body he begins to think about Clarke again. _Why could she have wanted to pick up her life and move so far away?_ He thinks back to the night before when they were playing beer pong and she froze up before her shot. There seemed to be no reason for her to do so, but the look in her eyes was the same as the one he saw when he woke her up from her nightmare. He had tried figuring out what could be causing it but no one had moved out onto the patio, no one out there had done anything, though he could hear a faint song coming from inside. That was the only thing it could have been, “All The Small Things” by Blink-182 seemed to be a trigger for her, and he wanted to know why.

He was staring down into his coffee when he heard footsteps stop at the entrance of the kitchen. When he looks up Clarke is standing there in an over-sized t-shirt that has paint splatter across the front of it with her blonde hair thrown up in a messy bun. Despite how much he saw her drink the night before, she doesn’t look like she has a hangover and he can’t help but be envious.

“Brooding into your coffee now?” Clarke asks as she quirks one of her eyebrows and moves further into the kitchen. _God, it’s too early for this._

“Not in the mood, Princess,” he groans, running his hand over his face. “Go be irritating somewhere else.”

“Wow, touchy this morning. Does Mr. Big Bad Bellamy Blake have a hangover?”

“Do you _want_ something?”

“No. But if you can’t handle the heat,” she says, brushing past him to get to the coffee pot, “then get out of the kitchen.”

“Fuck, you’re annoying.”

“And you’re an asshole.”

“Do you have a problem with me, Princess?” He finally asks, though he already knows the answer. Sparring with her is waking him up.

“Only because you seem to have a problem with me.” She finally looks up at him and he can see that her blue eyes are nearly the color of her bedroom walls, they look like the ocean.

“I think that’s understandable, considering what happened.”

“Are you _really_ going to keep this up? I told you that I didn’t know!” He could see she was getting angry, and it made him smirk. _The Princess has a temper_.

“Come–"

“You know what, go back to brooding in your coffee and quit talking to me.” She cut him off, holding up her hand.

“If I’m not mistaken you’re the one who started this conversation in the first place.”

“You—”

“Both of you just shut the fuck up, it’s way too early to deal with the two of you going at each other’s throats. Damn.” Murphy popped up seemingly out of nowhere since Bellamy and Clarke were too busy staring each other down to notice him come in. Bellamy rolls his eyes, then pushes past Murphy to go back upstairs.

Once he’s back in his room he throws himself on his bed, pulling a pillow over his face. Clarke is challenging, more challenging than anyone else he’s met, even Octavia, and that’s saying a lot. She’s annoying and intolerable and he knows that she means it when she says that she didn’t know about Raven, and he’s starting to believe her. Not that he would ever tell her that, it’s too much fun getting her worked up. He sighs into his pillow but thinking back on every time he’s challenged Clarke and she’s pushed back makes him laugh. Yeah, she’s definitely annoying, but it’s entertaining. _Maybe he can live with her._

After a while, when he doesn’t feel like he’s still hungover, Bellamy gets up and makes his way to the bathroom down the hall so he can take a shower, but he’s stopped by the sound coming from Clarke’s cracked door. Despite his better judgement he moves in closer and he can see her sitting at her desk, her head bent over. He can’t see what she’s working on but she’s humming to music he can’t hear, and he has to admit that it sounds soothing. He lets his eyes travel up to the handful of sketches on her wall already, done in either charcoal or graphite of landscapes, and he's impressed. He stays by her door for a little longer listening to her hum and trying to figure out if he can recognize the song or not, he can’t, but he’s snapped out of his own thoughts when he hears someone coming up the stairs so he quickly leaps into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. Clarke Griffin was a mystery, and he was going to figure her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it and I'm sorry it's so short!  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)  
> x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some insight on Clarke's background, and a job!

The aftermath of the party wasn’t as bad as Clarke expected it to be, but then again she had no doubt that Raven could terrify people into picking up after themselves, even if she was drunk. After the little sparring match between her and Bellamy, she was sitting on top of the island trying to finish her second cup of coffee when Murphy finally broke the silence.

“Okay, if I’m going to live with you _and_ Bellamy there needs to be some sort of truce because I cannot wake up to you two threatening to rip each other apart.” He said, rubbing his temples. “Seriously, you’re both already hard to live with.”

“Hey, I’m going to be great to live with and you know it!”

“I wouldn’t think so highly of yourself.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You know I’m great.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that.”

“Asshole.”

“Now, you’ve always known that.” He smiled at her from behind his coffee cup and she couldn’t help but smile back. He was right, surprisingly, her and Bellamy couldn’t continue to live together if all they did was glare and argue. Sure, the verbal back-and-forth matches they had were fun, but the whole reason why they had them was because he didn’t believe her about the whole Finn thing. _Surely he would have to come around at some point._ She sighed.

“You’re right, there needs to be a truce.”

“Excuse me, could you repeat that?” Murphy lowered his coffee cup and put his hand around his ear, leaning towards her. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“You’re terrible.” She shoved him lightly with her foot before jumping off the counter. “But alright, I’m going to go have some quiet time before everyone else gets up, I still have a headache.” Murphy just raised his mug in parting as Clarke made her way back up to her room.

Once inside she decided to go for a little drawing therapy while listening to her soothing playlist on Spotify, something Wells had made her years ago when she first found out about her father’s diagnosis. The first song that comes on is Coldplay’s “Strawberry Swing” and she can’t help but hum along as she lets her pencil glide across the page. She’s not immediately aware of what exactly she’s drawing until she begins to see Well’s form take place.

It’s been a little over three months since everything happened, it’s still raw for her, but now she’s able to think back on the times she had with him without completely losing it. As she draws she can see the slight curve of his lips when they shared an inside joke, she captures the mischievous glint in his eyes when they backed each other up, the angle of his jaw and cheekbones. When she’s done the tears that she had been holding back surface and a couple fall onto the page. God, she misses him. She can still hear his laugh echoing in her ears, she can smell his favorite cologne; when she’s awake it’s always happy memories of Wells and the trouble that they used to get into, but it’s at night when she’s asleep that the horrors come racing back.

When she had met Finn, almost two months after the accident, she could feel the weight of losing Wells sort of lift off of her shoulders. He made her laugh, distracted her from her negative thoughts, held her when the days were bad, he made her feel something that she had lost. She felt happier. But then that all came crashing down around her, though it seems that that happened for the best. She found a friend in Raven and they were both bound by a shared pain, they knew that there were other things that had happened in each other’s lives that caused a great deal of grief, but they didn’t talk about it with each other. They just offered each other friendship with the silent understanding that they knew what the other had gone through had been hard, and they wouldn’t be alone in trying to overcome it. Of course Raven knew that something had happened, something that was bad enough for Clarke to call her in a panic early in the morning a week ago and, without giving it a second thought, Raven offered her the spare bedroom in her house.

Showing up at the bar and seeing Murphy was also a huge surprise that she wasn’t expecting. Of course her and Murphy hadn’t been as close as her and Wells, but there was a bond there that she missed when he moved away. He didn’t push her for details, he gave her space when he thought she needed it, and he would be one to just sit in silence with her when they both wanted company but they didn’t feel obligated to talk to each other. Having him there along with Raven had already made this move easier for her, and even though Murphy hadn’t outright asked her what happened, she knows that he understands that she needs time.

Clarke is snapped out of her thoughts by someone tapping on her shoulder and she turns to see a sleepy-eyed Raven standing beside her who seems to wake up more as she sees that Clarke has still has tears on her face.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Clarke gives Raven a small smile while wiping the tears from her cheeks and she’s grateful when Raven doesn’t push the subject.

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Secret Garden? I always think that they’re coffee and pastries are the best when it comes to recovering after a night of partying.” Raven gives Clarke a smile. “What do you say? Breakfast on me?”

Clarke can’t help but smile back at her friend. Raven is really making sure that Clarke feels at home here and, if she’s being honest, she’s felt more love being with this family in the past day than she had with her family back in D.C.. “Sounds great!”

“Awesome! We can leave in ten.” And with that Raven leaves her room, leaving Clarke to wonder if things really can change this fast in such a short amount of time.

\---

Within twenty-five minutes Clarke and Raven are seated at a small metal table in the courtyard of the coffee shop surrounded by brick walls that are covered in vines and surrounded by plants. Jasper had been right about it being a quiet place to study, despite there being about a handful of people outside surrounding them it was still quiet enough to where you could hear the birds chirping and the leaves rustling in the breeze. Clarke sits back and sips on her black tea, taking in everything around her as her fingers ache to have a pencil in them so she can take down every detail. Raven is sitting across from her with a tall, black coffee in her hand as she starts picking at a double chocolate muffin with the other

“So, I was asking around,” Raven begins as she’s between bites, “and there’s a few places you could apply. Not that you _need_ to, but I figured you wouldn’t want to just stay in the house.”

“That’s true, I would go stir crazy. What did you have in mind?”

“Here, Minerva’s Books, or Mather’s Supply Co.” Raven says, ticking the places off on her fingers.

Clarke thinks for a second. “I think I’ll look into here and Minerva’s Books.”

“I thought you might say that.” Raven bends down and opens her backpack, taking out two packets of paper and laying them in front of Clarke. They’re both applications.

“You came prepared, didn’t you?” Clarke asks teasing.

“I just like getting straight to it.” Raven says, knocking her knee with Clarke’s under the table.

“Thank you for this, Rae, it really means a lot.”

“Like I’ve said before, it’s no problem. You’re officially apart of the Delinquent family now.” Clarke can’t help the shy smile that makes it’s way onto her face as she starts to fill out the applications at the table.

The two of them sit in silence while Clarke continues filling out the applications and Raven finishes her muffin, opting to go back and get another and returns with two for both of them. At some point after she’s finished the applications, Clarke pulls out her sketchbook and begins jotting down everything she’s seeing, including a focused Raven staring down at her physics homework with a pen tucked behind her ear and ink coating her fingertips. When she’s done she turns it around to show Raven and she laughs. 

“Now I can see why no one tries to talk to me when I’m working.” She remarks, looking at the scowl on her face as she looks down at her homework.

“That and the fact they already know you’d tear them apart if they did.”

“Damn straight.”

Soon they’re parting ways as Raven goes to her shift at Sinclair’s shop and Clarke makes her way to Minerva’s Books, following Raven’s directions. Her walk through the town is quieter than the one the day before when she walked to and from Louie’s Café with the rest of the Delinquents. She’s hearing the subtle sounds of the people going about their day, occasionally accompanied by the sounds of squirrels in the trees overhead or the birds sitting on the wires. It’s a lot different than D.C., here she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured into racing through life, she can just relax and take things at her own pace. Like her and Wells had always wanted.

She stops in front of Minerva’s Books and it has a dark wooden sign hanging over the door that says “Minerva’s Books” in white lettering and windows that allow someone to see all of the books stacked on top of each other and organized in their bookcases. Clarke takes a deep breath and pushes in through the front door and a faint jingle sounds from towards the back of the building. As she makes her way through the store she’s amazed at all of the books surrounding her, she didn’t read a crazy amount when she was growing up but she read the classics and always loved them. Though the idea that a girl needed to be rescued by a knight in shining armor always threw her off.

“Just a minute!” A voice sounded from the back. A little later an older man came out of a room towards the back right of the building, his hair was brown and he had a slight beard that was beginning to gray, with kind brown eyes and a warm smile. “Hello, sorry about that, I got a little caught up. How can I help you today?”

“Hi, my roommate, Raven, gave me an application for here. She said that you were looking to hire for a part-time job? My name is Clarke Griffin.” The older man’s face lit up.

“Of course! Raven stopped in a few days ago saying that she had a new roommate and was trying to help her get settled in. My name is Marcus Kane, but everyone just calls me Kane. Nice to meet you Ms. Griffin.” He held out his hand, a smile on his face.

“Just Clarke, please.” She said as they shook hands.

“Very well, Clarke, follow me please.” He motioned for her to follow him towards the back room he had just come out of, and it turned out to be his office. He took the seat behind his desk and motioned for her to sit in the chair across from him. “So, Clarke, the job is relatively easy it’s just sorting through any new books that we may get, or books that get left around, and selling a book if the person decides they want it. For the most part people just come in to relax and lose themselves for a few hours, so it’s not very demanding. The pay is a little above minimum wage, and the hours are flexible. So, what do you say? Want the job?”

“You’re really offering me the job right now? No other questions?” Clarke asks surprised, and Kane looks at her then seems to think about something.

“Do you like books?” His gaze on her turns serious.

“Yes.”

“You’re hired, welcome to the team!” He throws his hands up and Clarke can’t help but chuckle. This was the easiest job interview she’s ever had. They both stand up as the little jingle sounds again, a muffled voice coming from the front.

“Kane! You here?”

“Back here, son!” Clarke follows Kane towards the front of the store just as another figure rounds one of the bookshelves. Clarke nearly stops in her tracks, causing Kane to almost run into her. Bellamy’s face goes from that of pleasantness to unhappiness as he looks down at her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just gave her a job.” Kane says, smiling at her. “Can you start tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Great, be here for nine o’clock and we’ll run through everything then. Sound good?”

“Yes sir, thank you for this.” She gives him her own smile in return. “See you tomorrow, Mr. Kane. Bellamy.” She adds as she brushes past him to leave the store. She could really like this job, but if she already has to live with Bellamy she doesn’t know how she’ll do if Bellamy is always at her job too. It seemed like him and Kane had a good relationship, but theirs? That was a completely different story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I usually like to plan how I want a story to go but I can't seem to do that with this one, nothing seems right unless I'm actively writing it. So I hope you liked this chapter! It was full of fluff but I liked having Clarke's stream of thoughts as she drew Wells.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!  
> x


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Bellamy thoughts, movie marathon night, and a Clarke confession

Bellamy knew that Raven was trying to help Clarke get a job, but did she really have to get her a job at the one place he always visited? Of course he didn’t have to talk to her when he went in, or he could learn her schedule and just avoid when she would be working. But did he want to do that? He was telling himself yes but a little voice in the back of his mind was telling him _no_.

“Not getting along with your new roommate?” Kane asked, his eyebrows arched. Bellamy should’ve known that Kane would’ve caught onto the exchange between him and Clarke, Kane had practically adopted him at this point.

“It’s nothing, just a little misunderstanding.” Kane eyed him warily, he knew there was something more to it, but he didn’t press.

“She seems like a nice kid, Raven talks very highly of her. But, change of topic,” Kane said as he rubbed his hands together excitedly, “how did you like the book?”

\---

When Bellamy got back home, a worn copy of _Gods and Heroes of Ancient Greece_ tucked under his arm, the house was buzzing with energy as he pushed open the door. There were blankets thrown all over the living room, pillows scattered across the couches, the smell of brownies being baked wafted in from the kitchen, and everyone was lounging around, laughing.

“Bellamy!” Jasper yelled. “I love that you’re here!” _He's definitely stoned._

“Great, just in time.” Raven slid beside him. “Movie marathon night, did you forget?”

“No, of course not.”

“Uh-huh. Hurry up and change, and can you grab Clarke, please? Don’t give me that look, you can ask her to come downstairs without yelling at each other.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes but jogged up the stairs, stopping at his room to change into sweats and old faded blue Henley. After he took out his contacts and replaced them with his glasses, he made his way to Clarke’s room. Her door was shut now, but he could hear faint music coming from the other side. He knocked on the door, no answer, he knocked again, no answer, he knocked one last time then opened the door. His eyes first found the new sketch she had put above her desk, one that looked like it was done of The Secret Garden with Raven’s head bent over some work, a concentrated look on her face. Then Bellamy looked over at Clarke who was sitting on her bed, her back to him, staring down at something in her hands.

He recognized the song being played, “Wake Me Up” by Avicii, and he let the lyrics was over him as it started over, seemingly on repeat: 

“Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes  
Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over  
When I'm wiser and I'm older…”

He cleared his throat, causing Clarke to jump and scrub below her eyes, and he noticed that what she was holding was her phone. He already felt like he was intruding, now he felt like he’s intruding and even more uncomfortable. She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off.

“I knocked three times and you didn’t answer, but Raven sent me here to get you for movie marathon night.”

“That’s a thing here?”

“Yeah, Monty and Jasper started it when they moved in. But, pajamas are mandatory,” He said, pointing to her jeans. “Harper is baking brownies too, so you might want to hurry before Jasper and Monty get to them.” A smile made it’s away across her face and he was glad she wasn’t crying anymore. He nodded and moved to shut the door, but something stopped him. Instead he looked back at her. “Are you okay?” A dry laugh escaped from her lips.

“I seem to have a habit of crying when someone comes to talk to me.” She sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

But he did want to worry about it. Living in this house meant that she was a part of their family now, whether he liked it or not, and he would always be there for his family. That didn’t take away the fact he liked to annoy her, it just fueled his desire to get to know the mystery that is Clarke Griffin. He nodded his head one last time then shut the door. _He would figure it out soon_.

\---

When Clarke got downstairs she took in everything in front of her. Jasper and Monty were laying on the floor, matching Xbox pajama pants on, Raven was curled into the corner of the couch in fluffy black and white polka dot pajamas, Bellamy was sitting on the other side of the couch in the black sweats she saw him in earlier with a book propped open on the armrest, and Murphy was lounging across the armchair in some white, gray, and black plaid pants.

“Brownies are done!” Harper appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, her fluffy pink pajama bottoms made her look smaller than she already was. Monty and Jasper were the first to get up, leading the way for everyone into the kitchen.

“So, the Princess decides to grace us with her presence.” Bellamy drawled.

“I hope you like tonight, we’re watching the last three movies of _The Fast and The Furious_.”

“Just the last three?” Clarke asked.

“Anytime it’s Raven turn to pick she chooses those movies.” Murphy leaned close to her. “I think she has a crush on Jordana Brewster.” Clarke had to stifle a laugh.

“Hey, I like the cars!”

“No one is blaming you, Raven, she’s really hot.” Said Clarke.

“I know, right?” Raven said and Clarke giggled.

“Finally!” Clarke jumped at Murphy’s sudden outburst. “I’ve been waiting for you to finally accept that you were into girls, it was so annoying.”

“How did you know?”

“Do you remember how many times you would try to hold Fox’s hand when we were younger, and she wouldn’t let you, so you would get upset and pout and when I asked if you liked her you said no, that you were just friends and you just wanted to hold her hand?”

“Uh–I, I mean—” She trailed off, Murphy was right. “Yes, you were right, I had a crush on her.”

“Thank you! Now you should apologize for how poorly you treated me because of it, I still have nightmares.”

“Come on, that wasn’t as bad as the time when we went for a walk and when you saw the girl you liked you pushed me into a bush.”

“He what?” Harper asked, surprised.

“Yeah, we were walking together after school one day and when he saw the girl he liked he pushed me into a bush and then went to get ice cream with her instead of me.”

“Murphy, that’s terrible!”

“Wow, you were a dick then and you’re a dick now, glad to see nothing’s changed.” Everyone laughed at Bellamy’s comment then proceeded to get some pieces of the brownies Harper had placed out and then they made their way back into the living room.

Raven and Bellamy both re-positioned themselves on each end of the couch, leaving Clarke to sit between them, Jasper took up the makeshift pallet on the floor while Harper and Monty took the love seat, and Murphy draped himself across the armchair again. Throughout the movies, Clarke and Raven talked about the actresses, Raven also talked about the cars, and every now and then some popcorn was thrown at either the T.V. or someone else. Clarke felt relaxed, it was all so new but it was also something she felt she had been doing her entire life.

Everything was fine until the end of _Fast 7_ when they were on the beach and Vin Diesel said, “It’s never goodbye,” and the song that had been made for the movie began playing. Soon Clarke was remembering her entire life with Wells, just as Vin Diesel began talking about Paul Walker. Clarke’s memories came crashing like a tsunami, escaping as tears through her eyes.

There was her and Wells as children, running as they tried flying a kite, it was them starting middle school and him holding her hand as they walked through the doors because they were both worried, it was their first school dance when Clarke pushed him towards Ontari because she knew he had a crush on her ( _why_ she had no idea), then, it came in quick flashes. _High school. Homecoming. Sneaking out. Rolling Dax’s house. Her crying over Lexa . Him holding her. The car ride. His face. “You left me”. The flash of light._

Before Clarke can register what she’s doing she pushes off the couch, steadier than she expected, and walking up the stairs. She doesn’t go to her room though, she walks straight to the bathroom, locking herself in, then sliding down the door. Her heart is racing, her breathing is shallow, and she feels dizzy. She remembers when Paul Walker died, how Vin Diesel talked about him as his brother, the raw emotion coming off of him. It was the same thing for her and Wells. They hadn’t been bound together by blood, but he was more her family than her mother. She doesn’t know how long she’s on the floor of the bathroom when someone knocks softly.

“Clarke? You good?” It was Murphy.

“Ye—yeah.” Her voice was hoarse.

“Bullshit, Griffin, what’s wrong?” When Clarke doesn’t answer, she can hear Murphy sigh and then the door moves slightly. She guesses that he probably sat down with her and she learns that she’s right the next time he speaks. “We can both sit here then.”

She felt a wave of gratitude for her friend. They sat there for a while longer as Clarke tried to steady her breathing, but the pictures in her head would cause her to be on the brink of tears again. At some point she pushes herself up off the ground and hears Murphy do the same as she opens the door. She avoided looking herself in the mirror but she knew she probably looked like a wreck: blotchy cheeks, red eyes, puffy face. Murphy is standing before her, his hands in his pockets, and she forces herself to look at him.

“He’s dead.” She said, her voice barely a whisper. “We were driving one night and were hit. He’s gone, Murphy, Wells is gone.”

Murphy didn’t say anything as he pulled Clarke in for a hug. It was so un-Murphy like of him that it surprised her, but soon she relaxed into his arms, crying into his shoulder as he tightened his hold on her. The last time they had held each other like this was when he came to say goodbye the day he left. She let herself think about the other night when she saw him for the first time after all those years and how happy they both were to see each other again. She let herself think about the good times they had when they were younger and how she felt to be reunited with him. They didn’t pull apart until they heard someone clear their throat from down the hall; Bellamy was standing by the stairs, his expression unreadable.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“You’re always interrupting something, Blake.” Teased Murphy. He still had a hand on Clarke’s shoulder and looked down at her, silently asking if she was okay and she nodded her head. Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“Screw you, Murphy.” Bellamy crossed his arms. “Raven’s waiting to put on the next movie.”

Murphy gave Clarke’s shoulder one last squeeze before following Bellamy down the steps, leaving her to collect herself in the hallway. _You can do this_ , she told herself as she started towards the stairs. _You can make this work_. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she almost believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Clarke finally tells someone what happens and I like that it's Murphy because now she's not alone in mourning the loss of a friend (even if it's been a decade since Murphy last saw Wells, they had still been friends)  
> Now the question is, how will Bellamy find out?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated  
> x


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets Octavia and Clarke decides to help Bellamy cook.

The next day Clarke showed up fifteen minutes early for her shift at the bookstore and Kane was pleasantly surprised at her early appearance. He talked her through how he organized the place, it was different than a library in that it didn’t use the Dewey Decimal System, but he knew where everything was and so did all of the people who showed up there.

“I can walk you through the stacking process a few times until you get the hang of it, but if you feel like you need help and I’m not here then Bellamy knows the organization process too.”

“Is Bellamy in here a lot?” Clarke hoped she sounded nonchalant and just trying to make small talk, but the idea of him coming in here a lot made her heart rate quicken.

“He’ll come in every few days if he has the time, he’s one of the only people I let borrow the books, though.”

“Why doesn’t he work here?”

“Well, he did for a little while then he got a TA position and that’s been taking up a lot of his time recently. But I’m sure you knew that.”

“Yeah, of course.” _No, she didn’t know._ She had learned from Murphy that Bellamy was a history major which completely threw her for a loop because she couldn’t see him being fascinated by it, but when she went downstairs last night she saw him reading _Gods and Heroes of Ancient Greece_ and wondered if he was actually a huge nerd.

For the rest of her shift her and Kane talked about the different books that they liked, he brought up how he used to be on the Board of Trustees for the college her friends were currently enrolled at, and Clarke brought up her love for drawing. After a few hours Kane waved her off as she walked to Louie’s to go to lunch. On her way back to the bookstore she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and when she took it out, she saw her mom had been texting her.

_Honey, are you alright?  
I think we need to talk_

Clarke rolled her eyes and stuffed the phone back in her pocket. Her mom had left her a voicemail the night before saying how she was sorry about everything that had happened and that she wanted to work things out, but it did nothing except cause Clarke to start crying.  _She's still too angry_.

When she got back to the bookstore Kane was behind the counter with a girl sitting on top of it, the _Iliad_ pressed almost to her nose. The girl looked up when Clarke came in, her brunette hair cascaded down her back and her green eyes were piercing, the girl sparked some recognition in Clarke’s mind but she couldn’t place it.

“Clarke, have a good lunch?” Kane asked.

“Yes I did, thank you. Hi, I’m Clarke, nice to meet you.”

“Octavia. So you’re the girl that’s got Bellamy so worked up.” Octavia’s gaze was cool, calculating, and it made Clarke want to run.

“Um—”

“Don’t worry about it, my brother gets worked up about everything.” Then it clicked, she could really see the family resemblance. Octavia’s tone was lighter now and Clarke could see the love she had for her brother reflected in her eyes. “He’ll come around, he can just be an asshole sometimes.”

“I can’t disagree with you there.” Clarke rolled her eyes as the other girl laughed and the front door of the bookstore opened again.

“Hey, O.” Bellamy’s tone was warm and affectionate as Octavia jumped off the counter and barreled into her brother. Suddenly Clarke felt like she was intruding.

She smiled at Kane then made her way towards the back so she could start reorganizing books that she hadn’t gotten to before she left for lunch. Bellamy, Octavia, and Kane talked for the remainder of her shift until the sun had set and Clarke could see the stars beginning to shine.

“Hey, you leaving?” Asked Octavia as Clarke went to sign out for the day. Kane and Bellamy were in the back in Kane’s office having an animated discussion about something that Clarke couldn’t here, but she could see them both waving their arms around through the doorway.

“Yeah, just finished my first shift.”

“Great, you can walk back with us!” Octavia clapped her hands and hopped off the counter.

“Oh, are you coming home too?”

“Yeah, Bellamy said he’s going to make shrimp fettuccine and I cannot miss it.”

“Wait, he can cook?” For some reason, Clarke wasn’t surprised that Bellamy could cook, but she wondered if he could cook better than her.

“Yeah, hasn’t he cooked yet?”

“Well I’ve only been here for three days, so—”

“Hey, O, you ready?” Bellamy appeared from the back office and was standing behind Clarke, causing her to jump.

“Yes! Clarke, got everything?” Octavia asked, and Clarke could see Bellamy’s features darken. _I don’t want to walk back with you either_.

Everyone said their goodbyes with Kane and then began the walk back to the house. The air was getting cooler and Clarke loved the feel of the breeze on her face as they walked. The street was lit with old-fashioned lamps and they gave the city a sense of a warm glow, unlike fluorescent lights that washed everything out or the nearly orange lights that just looked ominous. Bellamy and Octavia talked to each other as they walked and Clarke couldn’t help but feel like she should’ve tried to find another way to walk home. She was beginning to come up with excuses to hang back and let them go home without her when Octavia turned around to look at her.

“So, Clarke, the Delinquents have earned their name, have you done anything to earn the title of Delinquent?” Octavia’s gaze was steady and Clarke could see the same challenge in her eyes that she saw in Bellamy’s. “Raven went joy-riding when she was fifteen, which is how she ended up working at Sinclair’s, Jasper and Monty do something illegal every day, Murphy is, well, he’s Murphy, and _Bellamy_ , don’t even get me started, he—”

“That’s enough, O.” Bellamy’s voice was hard and his back was to Clarke, but she was sure she could imagine him glaring at his sister.

“So, what about you?”

“Well I stole my mom's car then egged and rolled this guy's house when I was sixteen. Got stopped on the way to Sonic because I wanted ice cream." Octavia's eyebrows shot to her hairline.

“What the fuck? Your parents seriously called the cops on you?”

“My mom did, my dad—my dad thought it was funny.” Clarke shrugged.

“What did the guy do that deserved your wrath?” Octavia’s eyes were bright and there was a grin across her face, Clarke could tell she loved mischief.

“Well, he grabbed my ass in the hallway and when I told him to fuck off he started saying that I had done… _stuff..._  for him and his friends.” Even though it was a rough situation back then, Clarke smiled at the memory. “It took everything in me to keep Wells—” She broke off and swallowed, her smile dropping a little. “To keep him from fighting Dax right when he grabbed my ass. So we settled on something less violent.”

“You, Clarke Griffin, are my new favorite person.” Octavia moved and linked her arm with Clarke’s. “I went through a very rebellious teen phase—”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Bellamy interjected, but Octavia kept going, ignoring him.

“—And I got picked up by the cops more times than I care to admit. But we’re always happy to have someone else added to our delinquent family.”

\---

When they stepped inside the house Clarke was nearly knocked over by Jasper and Monty as they hurled themselves into Octavia. On their walk, Clarke had learned that Octavia had met the two of them in high school and they instantly became friends, Jasper even developed a little puppy love crush on her but that went away when he had started dating a girl named Maya.

“Bellamy, we’re starving!” Raven called from upstairs.

“You could’ve started cooking, you know!”

“She really couldn’t have, she burns water.”

“I heard that Murphy!”

Bellamy huffed and rolled his eyes but Clarke could see a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Murphy walked out of the large dining room, his glass perched on top of his head and his hands in his pockets.

“Didn’t burn the bookstore down, did you?”

“Oh, shut up Murphy.”

“Just making sure.” Murphy smirked at her then quickly motioned his eyes towards the kitchen. He didn’t have to tell her what he wanted, she already knew what he was trying to say. _Truce time_.

With a scowl, Clarke practically stomped her way towards the kitchen and she swore she could hear Murphy laugh as walked away. _God she hates him_. When she stepped into the kitchen Bellamy had already started boiling the noodles and was in the process of peeling and deveining the shrimp. _She could do that_. But before she said anything she just watched him work. His fingers were large but they made quick work of the shrimp, like the motions where muscle memory. The look of concentration on his face wasn’t like Raven’s in that it looked like he was angry, he looked relaxed.

“Need something, Princess?” His voice was low, though it wasn’t angry, and Clarke jumped as her cheeks reddened at him catching her staring.

“I came to see if you needed help cooking.”

“You—what?” He quit peeling the shrimp and was looking at her.

“Cooking,” she gestured at the stove and the shrimp, “do you need help?”

“No, I don’t need you burning the water.”

“Ha-ha.” She refrained from rolling her eyes. “I mean it, I’m a good cook.” His eyebrows shot up.

“Are you?”

“You seem really surprised, I’m hurt.” She moved to get a knife and a plate as she positioned herself next to him at the counter to begin working on the shrimp too.

“You don’t have to help, I got this.”

“Maybe I want to. That a problem?” Clarke stopped her cutting and turned towards him with her eyebrow raised. Bellamy gave her a quick glance then sighed.

“Nope, not a problem at all.” He went back to cutting. “Just make sure to get all of the shell off.”

Clarke refrained from commenting, she was supposed to be doing this to make their – whatever they had – more tolerable. They both continued their cutting with Bellamy stopping occasionally to stir the pasta and at the end, Clarke turned her attention to the large skillet to begin heating the butter and the garlic.

“Have you done this before?”

“A couple of times, my dad was the cook and he taught me a few things.”

“Was?” Bellamy’s wasn’t looking at her as he added the half and half.

“He passed away.” She cleared her throat. “So I took up the cooking.” When Bellamy didn’t look at her, she chanced a glance at him. He seemed _really_ focused on the skillet in front of him.

“I’m sorry, I know what that’s like.” He paused and a somewhat uncomfortable silence stretched out between them but thankfully he spoke again. “So, think your cooking is as good as mine, Princess?”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.” He was smirking at her and she raised her chin, if he wanted to challenge her then so be it.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Next movie night, we both cook something then get everyone else to judge. Unless you’re scared they won’t like your food.”

“I don’t think I’m the one that’s scared.”

“If you say so, Princess.” Bellamy’s smirk turned into a grin and Clarke found herself smiling back. _This wasn’t so bad_.

The two of them didn’t talk as they continued cooking but Clarke noticed that they worked well in the kitchen together and she knew what was needed before he had to ask, but that was mainly because she knew the recipe. When the food was done everyone piled into the kitchen and began loading down their plates. It was good thing they tripled the recipe because despite Jasper’s small frame, he ate nearly as much as Bellamy.

“Bell, this is great. Like always.”

“I wasn’t the only one cooking, Clarke peeled the shrimp.”

“Hey!”

“Calm down, Princess, I was just joking.” He smirked at her then turned to his sister. “Clarke helped.”

A sly smirk made it’s way across Murphy’s face and Clarke kicked out at him under the table, she was rewarded with a grunt that turned into a cough when she made contact. The rest of the night went as well as all of the others, even her and Bellamy didn’t argue each other. She heard more about Octavia’s boyfriend Lincoln, who started his own photography business and it had just begun to take off, and she learned a little about how Bellamy first handled the fact that his little sister was dating someone older than him.

“It was hilarious! Bell had always been able to intimidate the boys I tried dating then Lincoln walks in, bald and tattooed and Bell just about had a coronary.”

“I did not, O.”

“Did too! But after a while he found out that Linc is just basically a big puppy and now they have a beautiful bromance,” she paused for dramatic effect, putting her hand on her heart, “I’m jealous.”

“I remember that night, you called me complaining about how you couldn’t scare him away and you wanted to get wasted.”

“Shut up, Murphy.”

“Wow, controlling, aren’t you?” Clarke couldn’t help herself, she had to poke at him a little.

“You have no idea.” Octavia rolled her eyes.

Before long Octavia was saying goodbye to everyone but not before she pulled Clarke aside and put her phone number into her phone, “for asinine Bellamy situations”. When she was gone, Clarke realized that she loved the younger Blake, much more than the older one. _Maybe they could be friends_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, I try catching them but sometimes I don't
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy's POV, a call from Octavia, and breakfast

After Octavia had gone home, despite his protests that she could take his bed since it was late, Bellamy laid in bed replaying the days events. He had ignored Clarke as much as possible while she was at work but it wasn’t hard since he was there to be with Octavia, but it was interesting to walk home with her. She hung back and let him and Octavia talk which was surprising, he thought she would try and interject herself into their conversations, since she seemed to always talk around him, but she was quiet until Octavia began talking to her.

He had to admit, he didn’t see the Princess as the kid who would steal her parent’s car, or egg and roll somebody’s house, but he found it funny that she had. Though the fact that she did it because a guy grabbed her ass and then spread rumors about her pissed him off more than he expected. And who was Wells? When she was telling the story it was like he could _hear_ the smile in her voice, but when she said his name she faltered and when she continued she wasn’t saying it the same way. Of course he was probably analyzing the situation way too much, but he couldn’t help it.

Then he found out that her father was dead. She didn’t tell him how long ago, or how recent, and he knew not to press something like that, but he wanted to know. He had been through the loss of a parent so he knew what she had experienced, or what she was experiencing. As of right now, he thought, he knew a few things about her and then began listing them in his head.

 _1.) All the Small Things_ by Blink-182 was a trigger

2.) She got emotional at the end of _Fast 7_ which lead to her hugging Murphy  
(which was weird because Murphy didn’t hug anybody)

3.) She tripped up on the mention of Wells

4.)Her dad is gone

None of that really told him _why_ she moved, not really. Could it be that she left when her dad died and the reason why she tripped up on the name Wells is because she left her friend behind to move? No, that didn’t seem like her; she didn’t seem like the type of person to leave her friend behind. It also didn’t explain why the song is a trigger or the reason why she got emotional at the end of the movie. Maybe it’s –

Bellamy was getting deep into his thoughts when his phone started ringing. Groaning his grabbed it from his nightstand, _Octavia_ , he sat up and answered.

“O? What’s wrong?”

“Your love life.”

“Seriously? I thought something happened.” He flung himself back on his pillows and sighed.

“Something did happen, you and Clarke.”

“Octavia—”

“Bell, listen, you didn’t stop looking at her a dinner, you were able to cook with her without arguing, she’s the only girl I’ve met that pushes back that _isn’t_ me or Raven, and from what Raven told me the two of you had some pretty heavy tension when playing beer pong.”

“You talked to Raven about me and Clarke?”

“Don’t give me that, I had to know more about the girl who has you so worked up.”

“She doesn’t have me worked up—”

“Texting me about a new roommate past midnight because she beat you at beer pong sounds worked up to me.”

“God, you’re annoying.”

“I’m only being annoying because I want you to figure this out. I like Clarke and I don’t want you trying to scare her away.”

“You’re always annoying and I’m not going to scare her away, she lives here.”

“I know you, Bell, you could make a nun swear.”

“I can also be charming when I need to be.” He heard her sigh on the other side of the line and smiled.

“Whatever, just try and be nicer. Now go to sleep big brother, but this conversation isn’t over, love you.”

“’Night, O, love you too.”

After the two of them hung up Bellamy laid in his bed looking up at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Anytime he closed his eyes he saw her blonde hair and blue eyes, he saw her crying on her bed, he remembered her brushing against him to get to the coffee pot, he saw her determination during beer pong. He had more information than when she first moved, but he still couldn’t piece it all together. He could probably ask Raven or Murphy about her, but then they would get suspicious and ask him why he was asking. _Why is he so caught up in figuring her out?_ He ran his hands through his hair then pressed his face into the pillow, willing sleep to take him away.

\--- 

The next morning when Bellamy woke up he didn’t expect to see Clarke standing in the kitchen scowling down at her phone before the sun even rose. She hadn’t heard him approach so he took the time to take her in. Her hair was thrown into a bun again, which seems to be her morning hair routine, and she was in another over-sized t-shirt but this time it was black with _Georgetown_ across the front of it, not a drop of paint in sight. _Maybe she had gone to Georgetown?_

“Did your phone piss you off?” Bellamy smirked at how she jumped.

“No.” _Angry Princess_.

“Now you have the temper this morning.”

“Do _you_ want something?” He smirked at her throwing his words back at him.

“Calm down, Princess, I was just trying to talk.” He held up his hands and walked around to the coffee maker. She didn’t say anything as he poured himself a cup but he could feel the anger radiating off of her. “If you’re going to sit there and be angry you either need to talk or go somewhere else because you’re too intense for me this early in the morning.”

“Fine.” When she sighed he thought that she was actually going to leave. “I keep getting calls and texts from people I don’t want to talk to.”

“Block their numbers.”

“It’s not that easy.” Bellamy watched her put her phone down on the counter and begin rubbing her temples, then her phone starting ringing and when she opened her eyes to look at who was calling she groaned and banged her head on the counter. Bellamy couldn’t help himself when he walked over and peered down at her phone.

“You don’t want to talk to your mom?”

“Long story.” He watched as she reached over and silenced the ringing.

“I have the time.” He knew that she wouldn’t tell him, but he could still try.

“Maybe when I’m really, _really_ drunk.” _Interesting_.

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Why do you care so much?” When she looked up at him, he could see how tired she was, and the tiredness was mixed with pain.

“Because you’re a part of this family.” It was like he could see the walls she had built up begin to crack, but he knew that given their past exchanges she probably wouldn’t open up to him right away. He spent a lot of time thinking about this last night. When she didn’t say anything he decided that it would probably be best to let her think about it. “How about some pancakes?” Her eyes widened. _That seemed to wake her up_.

“Chocolate chip pancakes?”

“You like chocolate chip pancakes?” She nodded her head slowly and he smiled. _This is a start_. “Chocolate chip pancakes it is.”

By the time everyone else woke up he was standing in the kitchen leaning up against the island eating his pancakes, while Clarke sat on the counter top eating hers. Raven was the first to walk in and just looked between them, raising and eyebrow at Bellamy, but focused on Clarke when she realized that something wasn’t quite right. Bellamy just shrugged and decided to go back to his room so he could get ready for the day. _At least he got somewhere with her_.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke breaks down and Bellamy is there to help

The next month of living with The Delinquents went about how the first few days had: she got coffee with Raven at The Secret Garden, she got pulled into playing video games with Monty and Jasper (and did surprisingly well), she test tasted new drinks for Murphy, and she even found herself texting Octavia about things other than Bellamy, but the only person she wasn’t really talking to was Bellamy (talking is different from yelling). The cook-off that Bellamy had proposed came and went and it ended up in a tie because no one could choose between which dish they liked the best. Everything was going fine, then _the day_ came and she broke down.

That’s not to say she didn’t try to keep herself busy, she got to work nearly right after she woke up, she stacked and re-stacked books, she started cleaning, she even asked Kane if there were errands he needed her to run. She was fine, she was getting everything done and more, but when Kane left early to go to dinner with his mom, she was alone. She could handle being alone, no big deal, she could handle this, but then her mom texted her.

  _Honey, I know today is hard for you but try to think about happier times  
I’m here if you need me_ 

The defenses that Clarke had built throughout the day crumbled away to ashes and she lost it. She threw her phone, she threw the pillows she had arranged and re-arranged throughout the day, she threw her sketchbook and her pencils; when the door chime rang she didn’t even hear it, they were supposed to be closed at that point anyway. She wasn’t aware of anyone in the shop with her until a golden face with freckles, brown eyes, and black, curly hair was right in front of her. When she looked at him, she could tell that he knew she was broken. In his hands, she saw, he was holding her sketchbook and it was opened to the sketch she had done of Wells, but now the page was torn and bent.

“Clarke?” His voice was low and the amount of concern on his face made her heart constrict.

“I need a drink, Bellamy.”

“Alright, I know a place.”

It turned out that the place Bellamy decided to take her was the same place Murphy worked, so when the two of them walked through the door and Murphy took one look at her, he poured her a double whiskey and gave it to her without her even saying a word. Her and Bellamy sat in silence as they finished their drinks and Murphy would show up, top her off, then disappear again to go talk to the other customers.

“Why help me?” She asked, she was getting tired of the silence. Not that it had been bad silence, but she didn’t want to be inside her head.

“You looked like you could’ve used it."

“But you don’t like me.”

“I never said that, Princess.”

“Didn’t have to, it was implied.”

“Okay, so I didn’t like you when you first showed up, but you’re better than I thought you’d be.”

“Uh, thanks?” She took a sip of her drink. “If you don’t hate me then why are we always yelling at each other?"

“Because I think we both think it’s fun.”

“The little back and forth matches, maybe, but not when we’re just straight up yelling at each other.”

“So you admit it’s fun?” Bellamy asked teasingly.

“I said _maybe_.”

He laughed a little and Clarke could feel the corners of her mouth tug up into a slight smile, the first one of the day, even if it was small. They fell back into a comfortable silence but it wasn’t long until her thoughts caught up with her and she groaned, resting her head on the counter.

“I need you to talk to me.”

“About anything in particular?”

“Anything you can think of, just don’t let me think.”

“Alright, how about mythology?”

“Sure, I don't know that much.”

“Okay, so…”

Bellamy took her seriously about talking so she wouldn’t think because he talked to her until it was closing time. Every so often Clarke would see Murphy smirking at them when he wasn’t refilling her glass, and she found that she didn’t really care. She loved listening to Bellamy talk about mythology, he was animated when he talked about the different gods and goddesses and how some were misunderstood, he talked about the goddesses that Octavia loved when she was younger, and he talked about majoring in history.

They waited until Murphy had finished closing and then they all walked home together. Well, Clarke tried walking but she found that standing up after drinking the amount that she had wasn’t the best idea, which is how she found herself between Murphy and Bellamy with her arms thrown around their shoulders.

“I love you, Murphy.”

“Feeling is mutual, Griffin.”

“I don’t think Bellamy hates me anymore.”

“I didn’t hate you to begin with, Princess.”

“Right.” Clarke giggled."

“Wow, I didn’t you were one to giggle.” Clarke could feel Murphy chuckle at her side.

“Thank you _both_ for tonight.”

“Anytime, I’m just wondering why I paid for all of those drinks.” Murphy teased, but Clarke was drunk enough to not care that Bellamy would probably hear her.

“Today was the day it happened.” Her voice was quiet but she knew Murphy had heard her because his grip on her hand tightened. “I don’t—I think I’m going to faint.”

“Clarke?” The last thing she heard was Bellamy’s voice before she slipped into darkness.

\---

When Clarke passed out Bellamy picked her up and walked back to the house with her, despite being slightly drunk too. He and Murphy walked in silence until they got her inside and into her bed, by then Bellamy was dying to ask Murphy what she had meant before she passed out.

“Murphy, I was wondering—”

“Nothing good ever comes out of you wondering.”

“—ha-ha, I was wondering what she meant by ‘today was the day it happened’?” The question made Murphy stop in front of his door, running a hand over his face.

“Today…she lost her best friend a few months back, Wells.” _So that’s why she tripped up on his name._ “I don’t know anything else, but the end of the movie the other night brought back some bad memories.” Murphy sighed. He was obviously tired.

“Did you know Wells?” Bellamy could feel himself begin to sober up.

“A little, they were always glued at the hip. But I haven’t seen him since I moved.”

“Damn…”

“Why do you want to know? I know you didn’t drink enough to blame the alcohol.” Bellamy rolled his eyes and pushed open his bedroom door.

“Whatever, 'night, dick.”

“’Night, asshole.”

Bellamy grabbed a water out of the mini-fridge in the corner of the room and sank onto his bed. The room was spinning but he wasn’t sure if it was entirely because of the alcohol. He got two things figured out that were on his list, but he still didn’t know why the song was a trigger for her. _Could it have something to do with Wells?_ It had to be, right? There was also a matter of her nightmare. He knows more about her but there’s still a lot of things left unanswered. He stayed up long enough to finish his water and when he was finally drifting off to sleep, he heard her scream.

Before Bellamy could even think he jumped out of bed and ran down the hall towards her room, oblivious to everyone else who had also woken up. He could hear Raven saying something behind him and Jasper and Monty talking to each other, but he didn’t stop to think about how it would look if he threw open her door and woke her up. And quite frankly, he didn’t care.

When he entered her room she was writhing around on her bed, tears falling down her cheeks, and even though she wasn’t screaming she was still talking.

“ _I didn’t mean to leave. Wells, I didn’t—”_ a sob escaped from her lips. “ _Dad! Daddy—”_ Bellamy couldn’t handle it anymore, he grabbed her shoulders and began shaking her awake.

“Clarke! Clarke, wake up! Clarke, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Bellamy?” She opened her eyes and it was like his heart was breaking. “They’re gone. They’re both gone.” Her voice was quiet at the end and she started crying harder.

 Bellamy lifted her up and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry onto his chest. Everyone else gathered in her doorway and when he looked up he could see that they felt the same way he did. Silently, Raven made her way into the room and sat down on the bed, laying her head on Clarke’s shoulder, as Jasper, Monty, and Murphy did the same. Nobody talked as Clarke cried, and when it seemed that she had finished they all got up to go back to bed. When Bellamy got up to leave Clarke grabbed his arm.

“Can you stay?”

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right back.” He walked to his bedroom and grabbed his blanket and a pillow then returned back to her room. She was laying on her back staring up that the stars as he laid down on her floor. He didn’t expect her to talk, she didn’t have to explain, but she talked anyway.

“Wells was my best friend. One night we were driving around, just the two of us and the open road, it was wonderful. I felt free. We were laughing and then a car hit us, I walked away with some bruised ribs and some cuts but Wells—” She broke off and he could hear her starting to tear up again. “I can handle some things, the happy memories I have with him usually make me happy but at night, my dreams turn into me re-living that night over and over again. I walked away from a crash and my best friend died from it.”

He waited for her to continue talking but her breathing evened out and she was asleep. He tried thinking back on everything she said but he was exhausted too. _He would figure everything out in the morning_.

\---

When Clarke woke up the next day her head was pounding and her mouth was dry, but that was to be expected after Murphy loaded her down with drinks, what she _wasn’t_ expecting was to wake up and have a shirtless Bellamy Blake on her floor. She froze, trying to think back to the events of the night before, and she remembered she was having a nightmare, then Bellamy was standing over her, she remembered crying and everyone holding onto her, then—what? She obviously said something to make him stay. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes willing her brain to remember what happened. _She asked him to stay, and she told him about Wells. He stayed all night._

“’Morning.” His deep morning voice caught her by surprise.

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I have a hangover from Hell.” Bellamy laughed then groaned.

“Me too, don’t make me laugh.”

“Sorry I asked you to stay, the floor doesn’t look comfortable.” Clarke decided to try and get up and make her way to the hallway but she found that Bellamy was kind of blocking her door so she jumped over him.

“No worries, I used to do this for Murphy.”

“Murphy had nightmares?”

“Yeah, him and Raven. But that was a while ago.”

“Oh, um, thank you, for last night.”

“Anytime, Princess.”

Clarke tried to hide her smile as she left Bellamy on her floor and made her way downstairs. She could smell fresh coffee being brewed and she thought she could also smell some pastries from The Secret Garden but she figured she was probably hallucinating because she was so hungover. When she got to the living room Raven was walking out of the kitchen with a brown bag in her hand and a large cup of coffee.

“Hey, I figured you could use a hangover kit.” Raven held the bag out to her and when Clarke looked inside she saw a double chocolate chip muffin, a buttered croissant, and a single-dose pack of Advil.

“Raven, this is great, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. After Murphy basically mainlining you drinks last night I figured you needed it.” Clarke gave her a smile and they both sat down on the couch as Raven flicked through the Netflix movies.

She didn’t ask Clarke what exactly happened last night, but Clarke felt like she was going to have to tell everyone eventually, she did wake everyone up in the middle of night. The two of them sat in silence as Clarke nibbled away at her muffin and croissant and by the time she finished them she was feeling a little more normal. As everyone else began waking up Clarke was worried that they were going to bring up what happened but, thankfully, no one did. It seemed to be understood that you weren’t supposed to ask about nightmares, and Clarke had a feeling that everyone there had had their fair share.

Clarke was planning on the Saturday to just be a ‘do nothing’ day since she was still nursing her hangover after she got out of the shower that afternoon, but Octavia had called Monty and Jasper and it seemed that she was going to have other plans.

“Guys! Octavia wants us at the Dropship tonight for 6:00.” Jasper was down in the living room laying on the floor looking at his phone.

“Why?” Raven asked from the dining room, she was typing something into her computer and was surrounded by all of her textbooks, one look at what she was doing told Clarke that she wasn’t even going to ask.

“Surprise party for Lincoln’s business getting attention.” Monty chimed in from the kitchen.

“I haven’t met Lincoln yet.”

“He’s pretty cool, and his friends Nyko, Luna, and Indra are going to be there too.”

“Would it be rude if I went and didn’t drink? I don’t want to drink again for the rest of my life.”

“Maybe a little hair of the dog that you won’t be so bad.” Murphy threw himself over the back of the couch and sat down beside Clarke. “Just remember, it was a lot of whiskey.”

“Hair of the dog that bit me?” Clarke asked, eyebrows raised.

“Something my dad used to say. Said it got rid of hangovers.”

“I don’t even want to hear about alcohol.” Bellamy came down the stairs, his hair still damp from a late shower. “Or hangovers.”

“Too bad, because we’re going to the Dropship tonight.”

Clarke and Bellamy groaned but didn’t try to fight Raven on going. Octavia asked everyone to be there and whether they were still hungover or not, they had to go because Lincoln deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> Let me know :)  
> x


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke runs into someone from her past during the celebration at The Dropship

The Dropship was even more packed this time than it had been a month ago when Clarke first showed up but Octavia had apparently been planning this because she reserved a big booth in the back for everyone to sit at. Currently, Clarke was sitting between Octavia and Raven, leaning her head back against the cushioned seat to try and get her headache under control.

“You really are hungover, aren’t you?” Raven asked as she sipped on her blood mary.  _Clarke didn’t even want to begin thinking about what it’s made of._

“I blame Murphy.”

Raven just smirked then went back to her conversation with Luna. So far, Lincoln and all of his friends were great, and Octavia wasn’t kidding about the bromance between him and Bellamy, Clarke was pretty sure that was the most she’s heard Bellamy laugh since she moved in. At first glance Lincoln was  _very_  intimidating, but he was actually really nice and him and Octavia seemed to be crazy about each other, Nyko was quiet but had a good sense of humor, and it turned out that him and Luna were dating, it seemed like an odd matching to Clarke but, from what she could tell after just meeting them, they were good together. Then there was Indra, one look from her made Clarke was to hide behind Lincoln, and even though she wasn’t much older than him she had taken him in and practically raised him.

“So, Clarke, what’s your major?” Clarke was brought out of her head by Luna, who was studying her from across the table.

“I was double majoring in art and biology, pre-med.”

“Was?”

“Yeah, I took the semester off.”

“And how do you like Arkadia so far?”

“I think it’s wonderful, a lot different than D.C..”

“Well, this is the place for new beginnings.” Clarke couldn't help the anxiety that bubbled in her chest but Luna gave her a soft smile before being hauled to the dance floor by Raven and Octavia and followed by Lincoln and Nyko. Clarke let her head fall back to the cushions and wondered if anyone would notice her drinking water instead of vodka.

“You look like you could use a drink.” Clarke opened her eyes to look at Bellamy. He was standing at the end of the booth with two glasses in his hands, the sleeves on his dark blue button up shirt were rolled up, exposing his forearms, and his black curls hung over his forehead.  _She had to admit, he did look good._

“Shouldn’t you be talking to a girl that you could actually take home?” He smirked at her.

“Technically you are coming home with me, Princess.” She raised her eyebrows at him. "Fine, not tonight." He held out one of the drinks and she took it, eyeing it warily. “It’s just Dr. Pepper.” He had slid into the booth beside her and was talking in her ear, it made her shiver.

“Don’t think we’ll get called out?” 

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” He winked.

Clarke was happy to have some company while everyone else was dancing, and they were both still dealing with hangovers too so that gave them something to bond over. At some point Bellamy left to get something to eat and even though Clarke insisted that she didn’t want anything, he still came back with an extra order of fries. It was such a small gesture but it was something Wells would’ve done for her, it made her heart constrict. When the food was finished Clarke decided it was her turn to get up and refill their drinks. She was already feeling a lot better than she had when they first got there and she began wondering if it was just because had eaten or because of something ( _or someone_ ) else.

“Care for a drink?” Clarke turned to see a guy standing next to her. He had dark brown hair that looked like it had been brushed to look like it was messy, he was wearing a dark blue button up shirt under a gray jacket, and he had a cut over his lip like Bellamy, but it wasn’t nearly as fitting.

“No thanks, I already have one.”

“Nonsense, a soda isn’t a drink.” The guy turned his attention towards the bartender and Clarke rolled her eyes. The acted exactly how she thought he would based off what he was wearing. He was a guy who thought he was entitled to everything, even a girl if he bought her a drink.  _Clarke has spent her entire life trying to stay away from men like him_. She couldn’t hear what he ordered for her but a martini was placed down in front of her. “So, what brings you here?”

“Celebrating.”

“And you’re doing it  _here_?”

“Is there something wrong with that?” She arched her eyebrow at him, she was really getting annoyed with this guy but her drinks weren’t back yet.  _How long does it take to refill two sodas?_

“It’s just, this place is—” He stopped himself, then changed his approach. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. I’m Cage, Cage Wallace.”  _She remembers that name._

“Your father owns Mountain Men Inc.”

“Yes, he does. I’m not surprised you know who my father is, he’s a very wealthy man and has buildings in almost every state in this country.” Clarke was saved from responding to Cage’s un-subtle drop at how rich his father was  because her drinks were  _finally_  placed in front of her.

“Well I should get back to my friends.” She gave him a tight smile then practically ran back to her booth where Raven and a few others were watching her, leaving her martini at the bar.

“Cage Wallace, huh?” Raven was looking at Clarke with a quirked eyebrow, like she thought something was going on.

“Don’t even go there.”

“Guy’s a prick, so self-entitled.”

“I  _know_! I thought his father was bad but that’s nothing compared to his son.”

“You’ve met Dante Wallace?” Lincoln was looking at her, as was everyone else, and she realized what exactly she had just said.

“Yeah, uh, I went to one of his gallery shows and he stopped to talk to me. It was just him mingling.”  _She lied_. The truth was that her parents had been invited to one of his balls when she was seventeen and he tried setting her up with Cage after that. She was surprised Cage hadn’t recognized her, but then again she hadn’t recognized him either, he finally grew into his nose.  _But maybe he did_  said a little voice in the back of her head, but she ignored it.

“Oh, that’s cool. Well, _Cage_ …”

She let herself drown everyone else out as she tried to get her heart rate under control. She wasn’t ready to tell them more about her privileged life, it would just give Bellamy more reason to not like her and, if she was being honest, she was liking where their relationship was going at the moment. She had her eyes closed but she could feel someone looking at her, when she opened them she saw Bellamy at the other end of the booth. His expression was unreadable but there was something about the intensity of his stare that made her stomach drop.  _Something was going on_. He shook his head slightly then got up and walked over to the bar, starting up a conversation with a girl in a short dress and slightly too much makeup.  _Yeah, not tonight_.

Clarke tried not to notice when Bellamy left, or let herself think about how awkward it might be in the morning if she had to face the girl. There was a pang of sadness in Clarke’s chest and she didn’t know why it was there, but she figured it was just because she expected to at least have Bellamy to talk to while everyone else was off doing their own thing.  _Yeah, that was it. She just wanted a friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Cage has a very punch-able face...
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy's POV and some late night ice cream

Bellamy couldn’t sleep. He told himself it was because he was waiting for his friends to get back, just in case he needed to go get them, but even after everyone had gone to bed, he still couldn’t rest. He knows about Cage’s reputation, everyone in Arkadia knows about Cage’s reputation, but Clarke seemed to be able to handle herself around him. She didn’t even take a sip of the Martini he got her. But that wasn’t what had been bothering him, no, what had been bothering him was the fact that she knew who Dante Wallace was but lied about how she knew him. She didn’t have a reason to lie.  _Did she?_

Bellamy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  _He was never going to get to sleep_. He was still staring up at the ceiling contemplating on if it was too late to text the girl he had met at the bar when he hear a door open. He couldn’t hear anyone in the hallway but then a floorboard creaked and he heard a low  _fuck_. It was Clarke. He wondered if she was going to leave but the front door never opened. After a minute of debating he let his curiosity win and jumped out of bed, determined to go talk to her.

He crept down the stairs then through the living room and saw her sitting on the island, her back turned to him. He heard light scraping and realized that she was eating ice cream. If Clarke was eating ice cream at four o’clock in the morning then something was wrong. He quit trying to sneak and let himself make noise as he walked up to her so she wouldn’t be so surprised when he talked.

“Shouldn’t you be keeping your guest company?” Bellamy could tell that she wasn’t up for their little banters, but she tried to do it anyway.

“What’s wrong? Jealous, Princess?”

“Not at all. Just common manners.”

“Is it also common manners to eat ice cream directly out of the carton?” He teased, but the slump in her shoulders and the look on her face as he walked around to face her made him stop. “What’s going on?”

Clarke sighed, he could see that she was having an internal debate so he just waited for her to speak by grabbing his own spoon and taking some bites of the ice cream.

“If I tell you, it’ll just give you more reason to not like me.”

“Late night truth, I won’t hold it against you.”

“What?"

“Late night truth. I’ve found that you truly learn who someone is when it’s late at night, and you can hardly hold anything they say against them because they’re being 100% themselves. So I promise not to hold anything against you tomorrow.”

“Okay, my parents were invited to one of Dante Wallace’s balls when I was seventeen.”  _So the princess actually went to balls_. “And he tried setting me up with Cage after that but I kept dodging them, and my dad tried to step in and talk to Dante about it but my mom didn’t want to hear it. She said that Cage would be a perfect match for me, someone who I was ‘close to in social status’.” She shook her head. “I hated it and I resented her for it. It was already bad enough that she tried to get me and Wells together when we were younger when that was  _clearly_  never going to happen. But she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything except her image and she hated me because I didn’t care about my image, I just wanted to live my life. Which is what lead to Lexa breaking up with me, she didn’t like my mother or how she treated our relationship—” she cut off and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m rambling at this point.”

“That’s…” Bellamy tried grasping for the right words. “That’s just all fucked up.”

“Tell me about it.” Clarke snorted.

“Do you think he recognized you tonight?”

“I hope not. I didn’t recognize him until he said his name.” Clarke's voice was quiet, like she was worried that it would happen.

 “What if he does?”

“Then there’s a good chance he’ll tell my mother and I’ll get Murphy to help me hide the body.” Bellamy couldn’t help but laugh, she surprised him sometimes.

“I’ll help too. I don’t like Cage, especially after what he tried to do with Roma.”

“Do I even want to know?” Bellamy contemplated telling her what Cage tried to do, but nothing good would've come out of it so he decided not to tell her.

“He’s just a sleezball.”

“What are you and Roma?” Her question caught him off guard.  _They weren’t anything_.

“We’re just friends, casual hook-ups every now and then but she’s getting serious with Atom. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” There was a blush on her cheeks and he wondered if there was more to it. “I just saw you two at the party but then you left with that girl tonight so I was just wondering.”

“I don’t cheat if that’s what you’re implying.”

“No! I just, I don’t know, but you don’t strike me as a cheater.”

“Well that’s nice to hear.”

They smiled at each other then continued eating the ice cream in a comfortable silence. She willingly told him stuff about her past, even brought up her dad and Wells, and he felt excited. He wasn’t sure what their relationship was at this point but he liked just being able to talk to her like this, it was nice and he didn’t want it to end. Too soon he could hear the clock tower in town chime the hour and the ice cream that they had been eating together was gone. Clarke jumped off the counter and Bellamy followed her up the stairs, walking her to her room.

“Thank you for listening earlier. You seem to be doing that a lot lately.”

“I was just there for the ice cream.” He joked and she laughed quietly, lightly pushing him.

“Go to sleep, Bellamy.”

“Goodnight, Princess.” He smiled at her and she blushed again.  _He had to admit, that was kind of adorable._

This time when Bellamy laid back down sleep took him away almost as soon as his head hit the pillow and despite his best efforts, his dreams ended up being nothing but blue eyes and golden hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Bellamy is starting to feel some things...
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A run in at the coffee shop and Bellamy coming to the rescue (sort of)
> 
> I haven't had time to proof-read this but I hope it's not too bad!

The next day Clarke wakes up with brown eyes and a galaxy of freckles still lingering at the edge of her mind but she pushes them away as she hauls herself out of bed and to the bathroom across the hall. After she’s showered and dressed she finds that she seems to be the only one awake and decides to run to The Secret Garden to get her friends hangover kits like the one Raven made her just the day before.

It’s Sunday and still early enough to where not everyone is out and about so Clarke just enjoys the peaceful walk to the coffee shop, taking in the smell of fall as the leaves are just beginning to change color. Once she gets everyone’s food ordered she’s sitting at a table near the counter when someone walks up beside her.

“Nice to see you again.” Clarke tries to hide her cringe but she’s sure she just failed miserably as she turns to look at the person next to her.

“Cage, good morning.” She gave him a tight smile. _After the amount she just ordered, there’s no way it’s going to be ready soon_.

“What brings you here?”

“I was just getting some coffee and muffins for my roommates. You?”

“I was just out for a nice walk this morning and decided to stop by and get some coffee. Here has the best coffee in town.”

“Yeah, so I’ve noticed.”

“I was wondering, would you like to get coffee with me tomorrow morning? When you’re not busy.” _Does he really think she’d go for him after she left him last night?_

“Um, thank you but no thank you, I have work early in the morning and wouldn’t be free.”

“No worries, we could get lunch.”

“Cage, I—”

“Clarke?” The girl at the cash register called her name and Clarke was split between wanting to be grateful for having an out to the conversation and wanting to scream because now Cage knows her name. If he hadn’t already. _Fuck_.

“Excuse me.” Clarke shot up out of her chair and grabbed the bag of pastries and the two trays of drinks. _Now all she has to do is get home_.

“Would you like some help?” Cage had appeared beside her again and if she was being honest, he was a little too close for comfort.

“No thank you, it’s okay—”

“Please, it’s the least I can do.” Cage reached out and grabbed both of the trays of drinks and smiled at Clarke. “It’ll give me a chance to walk you home.” Clarke smiled but she knew it didn’t quite reach her eyes. There was no way she was going to get out of this.

On the way back to her house Clarke let Cage do all of the talking, trying her best not to just drop everything and run. She remembered a little of what Wells had told her about him when they were younger, he was the type of kid who would put the sweetest smile but under it was razor wire. Clarke tried keeping her pace up to where she wasn’t walking how she would normally walk but still kept it slow enough to where he wouldn’t notice that she was just trying to get this over with. Thankfully they were at the front door of the house within ten minutes, unlike the fifteen it would normally take her.

“Thank you, Cage, but I can take it from here.” She said, holding out her hand for the two trays.

“If you insist. I hope your roommates appreciate the breakfast.”

“I’m sure they will.”

“Have a good day, Clarke.” The way he said her name made her skin crawl.

“You too.” She turned towards the door then realized that both of her hands were full and Cage leaned past her to open it for her. He smelled like strong expensive cologne and it made Clarke want to sneeze. She gave him a tight smile then hurried in through the door, kicking it shut behind her.

“Food!” Jasper and Monty shouted in unison from the living room as they saw her walk in and were up grabbing the drinks and pastries before Clarke could blink.

“Did you really go to The Secret Garden to get us coffee and muffins?” Monty’s face was as bright as a Christmas tree.

“Yes, I did! I thought everyone could use it after last night.”

“I think I’m in love.”

“Don’t let Maya hear you say that.” Raven came down the stairs followed by Murphy. “But this is an awesome way to wake up.” Clarke smiled as everyone piled into the kitchen to begin devouring the food.

“I ran into Cage at the coffee shop.”

“What did that douche want?” Murphy asked, talking around his muffin.

“A coffee date tomorrow.”

“ _What?_ ” Jasper practically choked on his croissant.

“Yeah. I told him I had to work, then he said we could get lunch, and I was saved from answering by the cashier telling me my food was ready.”

“Dude…”

“That’s not it.”

“There’s more?” Raven wasn’t even trying to eat anymore, she was fully focused on Clarke.

“He wouldn’t let me turn down his offer of helping me carry everything back so he walked me here.” Clarke sighed and put her face in her hands.

“Why do you think he’s trying so hard? I mean, the girls usually fall all over him.”

“Maybe it’s because she’s _not_ falling all over him.” Suggested Monty.

“Or it could be the fact that my mom tried setting us up when I was seventeen.”

“I knew it! I knew you were hiding something last night when you said you met Dante. Spill it.” Clarke couldn’t argue with Raven so she went through everything she had told Bellamy just hours before. When she was done, no one said anything until Murphy finally broke the silence.

“Mom’s a bitch, Griffin.”

“Clarke, no offense, but I don’t like your mom.”

“None taken, I’m currently not speaking to her.”

“I could see why.”

“Good thing we’re your family now!” Jasper threw his arms up and smiled, then the conversation was dropped. 

\---

Bellamy was sitting on the couch in the living room while Murphy ate before he left for his shift at the bar. Clarke, Raven, Jasper, and Monty had all already gone to sleep after the movies were over but Bellamy still had a couple of tests to grade so he decided to keep Murphy company while he did.

“I hope Wallace doesn’t show up tonight, it’s bad enough that I have to hear about him trying to get into Clarke’s pants I don’t need him showing up where I work too.” Murphy was rummaging around in the cabinets for something sweet so he didn’t see the tick in Bellamy’s jaw or how he tightened his grip on his pen.

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t hear? Cage ran into Clarke at the coffee shop and asked her our for coffee tomorrow, which she turned down, then he asked her out for lunch.”

“What did she say?” _There was no way she would go out with him._

“She said she didn’t answer because she had to get the food. Didn’t keep him from walking her back though.”

“He walked her back from The Secret Garden?”

“Weird, right?” Murphy sighed then jumped off the counter, giving up his search for candy. “Clarke thinks he figured out who she is so he’s trying to finish what her mom started. Did you know her mom tried to set her up with him when she was seventeen?”

“She mentioned it.” Bellamy was having a hard time trying to control the anger that was bubbling up in his chest. Anyone could see that Clarke wasn’t interested in Cage but apparently Cage was the only person who couldn’t see that.

“I wouldn’t put it past him to figure out where she works and just show up expecting her to go out to lunch with him.”

“I wouldn’t either.” Bellamy sat back and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m going to show up for her lunch shift tomorrow just in case.”

“Aw, Blake, are you going to go on a little lunch date?

“Fuck off, Murphy. It’s to make sure Cage doesn’t corner her.”

“In part.” Murphy smirked then walked to the door and grabbed his coat. “I got work, try not to blow it tomorrow, asshole!”

\--- 

The next day Bellamy showed up at the bookstore fifteen minutes before Clarke was scheduled to go to lunch. He knew it was probably a little overkill but if Cage decided to stop by then he wanted to be there. Not that Clarke needed rescuing, she was plenty capable of standing up for herself, but it was Cage that set his teeth on edge.

“Hey, aren’t you usually on campus right now?” Clarke walked from behind one of the bookshelves and Bellamy noticed she had some dust bunnies in her hair and he smiled as he reached up to get them off of her.

“I was thinking we could get some lunch.”

“Oh, any reason?” She wasn’t looking at him but he could see a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks.

“Murphy told me about the whole Cage thing at the coffee shop.”

“Oh.” He tried to ignore the disappointed look on her face, it was probably nothing. “So you’ve come to be my knight in shining armor?” She quirked one of her eyebrows and looked at him.

“No, I know you could handle yourself, I just don’t trust Cage.” The front door to the bookstore opened and the chimes sounded from the back. When Bellamy looked over Cage Wallace was walking towards them with a smile on his face but he was staring at Bellamy.

“Clarke, I didn’t know you worked here.” Cage leaned up against the counter and looked at her. Bellamy could see how Clarke’s posture had changed, she was rigid.

“I do, can I help you with anything?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me for lunch. I know a great restaurant in downtown.”

“Actually, I was just on my way out to get lunch with Bellamy.” Bellamy kept his eyes on Cage as Clarke moved from around the counter and grabbed her coat.

“Another time then.” Cage gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and it made Bellamy clench his fists inside his pockets, then Cage turned around and left.

“I bet you’re liking the fact that I showed up now.” Bellamy teased.

“I’m still deciding.” Clarke smirked up at him and he couldn’t help but smile back at her.

Their lunch together went great. They didn’t talk about Cage or her mother but they talked about how Clarke got into drawing and she said how her father and Wells had always been her biggest fans. So, Bellamy took her to his favorite place in the park, a spot just under a willow tree where she could sketch the scenery. He tried not to watch her too much, because that would’ve been creepy, but he couldn’t help but notice the look she had on her face as she sketched. She seemed to be a peace when she had a pencil in her hand and paper in front of her. Bellamy wanted to see this Clarke more.

For the rest of the week Bellamy showed up to go to lunch with Clarke even though Cage didn’t show up. Bellamy made it his mission to show Clarke some of the more beautiful areas around town so she could sketch some more. Kane had even taken to putting some of the drawings she had done of the bookstore up on the walls to show them off. By the time Friday came around Bellamy had almost forgotten why he had started spending his lunch with Clarke and he hoped they could continue spending that time together. 

\--- 

When Clarke woke up Sunday she did not want to get up. Monty’s surprise birthday party went from it only being them and a few of their friends to literally everyone from within a five mile radius. The only thing she could remember about the night before was that her and Murphy beat Bellamy at beer pong _again_ but instead of him being pissed about it, he lifted her up onto his shoulders chanting “ _Long live the Princess!”_ to the point where Clarke was sure she was going to be embarrassed for the rest of her life.

After a minute of trying to regain her ability to think Clarke got out of bed and found that she wasn’t quite hungover, but instead she was still kind of drunk. Drunk enough to not notice a body lying on her floor which resulted in her tripping over a foot and then landing face to face with Bellamy.

“Fuck, good morning to you too.” He smirked.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you were in here.”

“You said I could crash here because Octavia decided to commandeer my bed.”

“Oh yeah. Sorry about the rude awakening.” She looked in his eyes and saw that they were different shades of brown, there was a lighter ring around his pupil that she had never seen before. _She wondered if he’d let her draw them._ He took a deep breath and she realized just how intimate they were. She was laying directly on top of him and his hands were gripping her arms while hers were pressed against his shoulders. _He was really warm_. She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts then pushed herself off of him.

“Breakfast?” He asked as he stretched on the floor.

“Chocolate chip pancakes?”

“Of course.” Bellamy smiled at her then slipped out her door. Of all the ways to wake up, tripping over Bellamy Blake and then having him still make her chocolate chip pancakes was one of the best.

Clarke emerged from the bathroom feeling slightly more human even though she was trying to fight off a hangover. She decided to grab her sketchbook from her desk and make her way down to the kitchen. _Maybe Bellamy would let her draw his eyes_. She walked into the kitchen and hopped on the island, her usual place whenever they were in the kitchen together. She watched him work and saw how the muscles in his back moved as he reached for something and how his arm muscles worked when he stirred the batter. She knew he was attractive, anyone could see that, but being _that_ attractive should be illegal. He had no right.

“You’re drooling.” Clarke jumped and turned to look at Octavia who had seemed to hop on to the counter next to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh.” Octavia looked like she didn’t believe her, but she turned her attention to her brother. “Bell, I want some.”

“Already on it, O.” Bellamy didn’t turn around, instead he just held up the bowl of batter.

“Jasper told me about all of the lunch dates this week.” Octavia was whispering in Clarke’s ear while keeping an eye on her brother. “I didn’t know that was going to be a new thing.”

“That’s because I don’t know if it’s a thing. He was just trying to keep Cage away.” Octavia quirked her eyebrows at Clarke. “How’s Lincoln’s business doing so far?” Clarke knew that the change of topic wasn’t subtle but she had to get off the topic of her and Bellamy. _There was nothing going on between them_.

“Well, it’s only been a week since we celebrated but…”

Clarke sat and listened to Octavia talk about Lincoln and his growing business, apparently some galleries in town had contacted him about showcasing some of his work in the short amount of time and Clarke was happy for him. She had some of her artwork showcased in a gallery before and the feeling of having it shown off was something she couldn’t describe. She hoped she would be able to see Lincoln’s work in one soon.

The rest of the day was lazy since everyone was recovering from the night before, and at some point everyone sat around the living room trying to help each other put together pieces of what had happened the night before. Apparently Monty and Jasper had to be hauled in by Wick and Miller because they were fixing to go running down the road with only bras and underwear on (Clarke did not want to know where they got them), but in the end Monty said it was one of the best birthday parties he’s ever had and that next year everyone would have to step up their game if they wanted to beat it.

Clarke sat around sketching her friends that afternoon. She captured Octavia with her hair thrown up and a wide smile on her face as she talked to Lincoln, she caught Raven trying to hide her grin whenever she got a text from Wick, Monty, Harper, and Jasper sitting on the couch playing Mario party, Murphy in his usual place which was draped across the armchair, and then there was Bellamy with his glasses on and reading one of his books.

_This_ was her family. The Delinquents that she didn’t know a two months ago were now her rag tag group of friends that she loved and they loved her back. For all of their quirks and differences they all fit together and mended the broken pieces of each other, all without ever having to really know what they were fixing. It was times like these when she wondered how she spent her life not knowing these people.

She quit sketching and took in everything around her, there was so much happiness in the room that she didn’t feel the weight of Wells’ death or her father’s, or anything else that had happened, crushing her. Bellamy looked up from his book and laughed at something Jasper had said, a lopsided boyish grin that made her heart stutter and she smiled too. _She’s going to be okay_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was hard because nothing I wrote seemed to be true to the story but I like how it turned out and I can't wait to post the next chapter
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke starts off with a bad day, she tells the Delinquents about Wells, and there's a little beginning of Bellarke

The following week Clarke and Bellamy had continued meeting up for lunch, some days Clarke would go to campus and others Bellamy would sneak away and pick her up at the bookstore. None of their friends said anything about it, but that doesn’t mean that Murphy didn’t give her looks whenever he saw her and Bellamy together, or keep Raven from quirking her eyebrow up and tilting her head in a ‘ _we all see what’s going on here_ ’ sort of way, but Clarke ignored them. And thankfully, Raven didn’t mention it during the mornings when they got coffee together before Clarke went to the bookstore and Raven either went to campus or Sinclair’s (depending on the day).

Today, however, she hasn’t seen any of her roommates and received a text from her mom threatening to track her phone if she didn’t answer. Clarke groaned then rolled over in her bed. Kane had given her the Friday off because he said that he was going out of town to visit his mom for her birthday and said that Clarke deserved a three day weekend. She appreciated it, and it would have been a nice start to her weekend, if she hadn’t woken up feeling like everything was crashing into her nonstop.

She hadn’t slept much because she kept waking up with Wells’ name on her lips and her father’s eyes burning into her mind. Not even a week ago she had been so happy, but she guessed that was the thing when it came to coping with loss. She could be fine one day but wake up the next and feel so incredibly sad that nothing could lift her up. Clarke pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes and took a deep breath. _She’s going to be okay_.

She decided to take a hot shower, loving how the hot water feels against her skin, then she grabs her sketchbook and throws herself onto her bed. She’s going to have a lazy day today while her friends are on campus taking their exams and then they’ll probably find something to do tonight. She lets her pencil move across the page like it has a mind of its own. She sketches out some little animals, then a space station that she dreamed about the other night, and after a few other drawings she finds herself drawing her dad. He’s how she remembers him with a sweater and slightly messy hair and a smile that stretches across his face. She brought a couple of photo albums with her but she hasn’t looked in them since she got here. _Maybe she could show everyone else_.

Clarke knows that she’s going to have to tell her friends sooner rather than later, but she doesn’t know when. Or how. They won’t press her for the information, but she wants to tell them. Something that Wells had said when her father died made it’s way to the back of her mind. _It’s okay to lean on other people, no one is meant to carry everything themselves. You are not Atlas, Clarke._ Despite herself she smiled at the memory of him bringing up mythology while she has a huge mythology nerd living down the hall from her.

Clarke pushed her sketchbook aside and laid down on her bed. She was going to tell her friends. Only Bellamy and Murphy knew about Wells and she wanted to tell everyone else. She could do that. At some point Clarke fell asleep but she did not dream, it was only her friend’s voice echoing in her ears.  _It's okay to lean on other people_.

\---

Bellamy was happy to be back home and done with exams, not to mention his day had been significantly less exciting since he didn’t have lunch with Clarke. If he was being honest, he missed her. When he opened the door to the house it was what he expected to see. Jasper and Monty were on top of the coffee table screaming along to their early 2000’s playlist, Murphy was turning out drinks in the kitchen where there seemed to be some sort of competition going on with Clarke and Raven on one side of the bar with Harper and Octavia on the other. He smiled at how happy everyone was since exams were over and padded his way into the kitchen. Without looking up Murphy handed Bellamy the drink he had just finished making and started on the jungle juice.

“Bell!” Octavia seemed to just notice him as he leaned up the counter. “Clarke is kicking our ass.”

“She seems to do that a lot.” He smirked and he could see a grin make its way to Clarke’s face.

“And we win!” Raven shouted and then her and Clarke high-fived.

“Jasper! Don’t try to hold on to the ceiling fan!” Octavia yelled then she left the kitchen with Harper and Raven to try and get the others under control.

“Miller and Bryan are picking up Wick on their way here and Lincoln said he should be here within an hour.” Murphy was still making the jungle juice but from the looks of it he was almost done. Bellamy would never understand how he worked so quickly. “Alright, jungle juice is done. I’m going to go call Emori.” With that Murphy slipped out of the kitchen and down the hall. Another song was playing in the living room and he could see Jasper turn up the music and then jump back on the coffee table with Monty while Octavia and Harper were jumping on the couch. _Kids_ he thought.

"Emori?" Bellamy asked.

"A girl Murphy met at the bar the other night. He hit on her and she threatened to break his hand if he touched her, I think he's in love." Bellamy knew that was supposed to be a joke but they both knew Murphy well enough to know that it was probably true.

“I wouldn't be surprised." He chuckled. "So, how was your day off?”

“Lazy, I slept all day.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I missed our lunch though, how do you think you did on your exam?”

Bellamy stayed in the kitchen talking to Clarke until Miller showed up and called him over to be a mediator between him and Wick because they were arguing over something but Bellamy couldn’t really understand why they were arguing though. In the end it turned out they were both arguing the same thing but worded differently and they laughed it off before joining everyone else in the living room. Then pizza showed up and the music got even louder. Bellamy hadn’t really been paying attention to what songs were being played until he caught a glimpse of blonde out the corner of his eye and turned in time to see Clarke slide to the ground. Then the lyrics to the song that were playing washed over him.

_Say it ain’t so, I will not go_

_Turn the lights off, carry me home_

“Clarke!” Bellamy sat down his cup and ran into the kitchen and, sure enough, Clarke was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands and her body was shaking from her crying. “Turn that off!” He called back into the living room and got some looks but Murphy walked over and turned the stereo off then started making his way towards Bellamy. _Maybe he noticed that night too._ He turned his attention back to Clarke.

“Clarke, hey, look at me. Look at me.” He crouched down in front of her. “Clarke, it’s okay, you’re okay. Look at me.” She took her hands off of her head and brought her eyes to his. He could feel his heart breaking as he looked at her, and he could tell her heart was broken too. He moved next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She seemed to melt into him as she continued to cry. Murphy sat down across from them and took one of her hands. “Clarke?”

“I’m sorry, I probably just ruined everyone’s night.” Clarke pulled back from Bellamy and sniffled then wiped her hands under her eyes.

“Come on, you’re not that important, Griffin.” Murphy teased and Clarke let out a breathy laugh, squeezing his hand.

“I—it—that song was playing the night of the crash.” She looked at Bellamy, her blue eyes were dark and stormy and it made his heart ache. Then she looked at everyone else. “I was wanting to tell you—everyone—about some of what happened in D.C.”

“Clarke, you don’t have to—” Monty tried protesting.

“I want to. Everyone here has done so much for me, and I want everyone to know.”

“We can head out.” Miller was standing off to the side next to Brian and Wick.

“No, you’re a Delinquent too.” Bellamy stood followed by Murphy who helped Clarke up. They moved into the living room and Bellamy noticed that everyone sat as close to Clarke as they could, even him.

Bellamy ended up on one end of the couch next to Clarke who had Raven and Octavia on her other side. Murphy showed up with another drink and handed it to Clarke then he sat on the floor between Monty and Jasper who were sitting on the coffee table, Wick had pulled the armchair over, and Bryan and Miller had pulled the love seat closer too. Everyone was showing that they cared, even if they had just met her.

Bellamy listened as Clarke retold the story of the night of the wreck, and she even said things that he hadn’t known. Her and Wells had decided to go for a ride since they were both not really talking to their parents, and the two of them were screaming along to _All The Small Things_ by Blink-182 when a car drifted into their lane and hit them. Most of the impact had been on Wells’ side and while Clarke walked away with only some broken ribs and some cuts, her best friend died. She said she still had nightmares about it and sometimes their of Wells saying that she left him. By the time it was over everyone was crying, even Miller and Raven had at least a tear in their eye, and those two never cry.

“Clarke, I don’t…” Monty was at a loss for words.

“We’ve all lost someone, Clarke, you’re not alone.” It was Wick who spoke but he sounded like he was a thousand miles away. Bellamy watched as Raven reached over and rubbed his arm.

“So that’s part of why I’m here, but I think now we could all use a drink.” Clarke took a deep breath then let it out and Bellamy couldn’t help but think that it looked like a weight had been lifted off of her. He wanted all of the weight off of her though.

\--- 

Clarke was uncomfortable with everyone looking at her but she didn’t feel pity, she felt understanding. After she said that they all could use a drink everyone agreed and the music was put back on, everyone seemed to understand that she didn’t want to dwell on it and that she didn’t want them to dwell on it, and she was grateful. It wasn’t long before Lincoln showed up which gave everyone else something to focus on.

“Oh my god, you’re kidding!” Octavia’s voice carried over the music and Clarke turned to see her jumping into Lincoln’s arms.

“What’s going on?”

“Lincoln is donating some of his work to a Mountain Men Gallery and they’re going to be auctioned off for charity.” Octavia was wrapped around Lincoln with her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, and she was grinning from ear to ear.

“Lincoln that’s great!”

“Congrats, man!”

“Fucking awesome!”

“When is it going to be?” Clarke was smiling too, she loved when she had her art on display in a gallery and now Lincoln’s was going to be displayed, sold, and going towards a good cause.

“Tuesday night at five o’clock.”

“We’ll all be there.” Raven held up her drink. “To Lincoln!”

“To Lincoln!” Everyone raised their glasses and Wick pressed a cup into Lincoln’s free hand as everyone toasted.

Once the party started up again it was for a completely different reason, it was for Lincoln and his success instead of the celebration of midterms ending. Clarke was in the kitchen grabbing another drink when Bellamy and Lincoln walked in too.

“Do you know which charity it is?” Bellamy asked.

“It’s a charity for Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I think it’s the Jake Griffin foundation.” The cup that Clarke had been holding slipped out of her hand and crashed into the floor, she was lucky it was plastic and not glass. Her heart was racing. _If this was for her father then it meant her mother would be there. She’s too drunk for this right now_. She grabbed a towel off the counter and began wiping up the mess.

“Clarke? Everything okay?” Lincoln was looking at her with concern, but Bellamy seemed to be studying her.

“Is Jake Griffin your father?” Bellamy’s arms were crossed and he looked as if he was trying to figure her out.

“Y—yeah, my mother started the foundation after he died.”

“Then I hope I can help Tuesday night.” Lincoln’s smile was warm and it helped calm down Clarke’s racing heart.

“Lincoln!” Octavia called from the hallway and Lincoln’s smile widened.

“’Scuse me.” After Lincoln left Bellamy crossed over to where Clarke was bracing herself against the counter.

“Are you going to be okay with going Tuesday?” Bellamy’s voice was low. Clarke couldn’t form the words and she felt herself start to shake. “Hey,” Bellamy stood in front of her and placed his hands on her arms, “you’re not going to be alone, we’re all going.”

She felt better after telling everyone about Wells but now everything about her father was weighing her down along with her dreams from the night before. Without thinking she moved forward and wrapped her arms around Bellamy’s neck, burying her head in his chest. Bellamy’s arms went around her waist and he squeezed which cleared her head instantly. Recently he had become her ground inside the storm that was her mind. He brought her back to the present when she traveled back to D.C. and he listened when she couldn’t hold anything in anymore.

“You smell insanely good.” Clarke mumbled against his chest and he chuckled.

“And you smell like apples, Princess.” She smiled and pulled back then held her breath as he reached up to push a strand of hair out of her face, his thumb brushing her cheek. “I mean it when I say you’re not alone in this.”

“I know, I have you, I have everyone.” She smiled up at him then she had a sudden thought and blurted out, “Be my date Tuesday night?” Apparently the alcohol in her system thought that asking that was a good idea. Her internal thoughts were supposed to stay that way. Internal. _She felt like she was going to be sick_. When Bellamy didn’t say anything she felt like she couldn’t breathe, but then he grinned.

“It’s a date.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and noticed that his hand was still resting on the side of her head with his thumb was caressing her face.

She wanted nothing more than to kiss him. She doesn’t know how they went from arguing with each other constantly to them eating lunch together every day to right here, right now. She flicked her eyes down to his lips and then back up to his eyes. _If this doesn’t work out then maybe she can blame the alcohol_. He brought his other hand up to hold her face and she inclined her lips towards his. They brushed softly at first then his lips were pressed firmly on hers. It was a short kiss but it was enough to send a shiver down her body.

“You taste like fruit.”

“I think you’re drunk, Princess.” He teased.

“Am I interrupting?” Murphy’s voice caused them to jump apart and when Clarke looked over she saw the smug look on Murphy’s face and wanted to slap it off of him.

“You’re always interrupting something, asshole.”

“Aw, Blake, I love it when you repeat my words back at me.” He smirked.

“Clarke, will you be my beer pong partner?” Harper poked her head into the kitchen from the hallway. “I need to wipe the floor with my boyfriend and his best friend.”

“Hell yes.” Clarke slipped around Bellamy and past Murphy but before following Harper down the hall she turned and winked at Bellamy.

This night was a roller coaster of emotions and Clarke was still trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened. But that didn’t stop her from helping Harper annihilate Monty and Jasper, but at the end of it she was even more drunk than when she had asked Bellamy to be her date and she wasn’t quite sure what would happen if she were to be alone with him again.

Clarke decided to slip away to her bedroom to try and sober up before Wick or Raven could get a hold of her and ask her to drink more. When she laid back on her bed she thought about what was going to happen Tuesday while she looked up at the stars on her ceiling. She can face her mother if she has her friends there. She could do that. And Bellamy would be her date which meant that he would be by her side all night, even though she was pretty sure he would have done that anyway. _Bellamy_. She could feel sleep pulling her in despite having slept most of the day so as she drifted off she thought of his lips on hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much happened in this chapter, let me know what you think!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast and a commanding mom
> 
> I'm sorry it's so short!

Clarke wakes up on Saturday feeling a lot happier than she had the day before. She told her friends about Wells, she was going to go to Lincoln’s gallery with Bellamy, _she kissed Bellamy_. _He kissed her back_. She couldn’t help the goofy grin that made it’s way across her face, yeah, she was definitely a lot happier and she felt a lot lighter. Not even the thought of seeing her mom Tuesday could put a damper on how she felt. But the headache she had probably could.

Clarke groaned and looked to her nightstand for her phone but saw a bottle of water. _Bellamy_. She took the water and downed as much as she could before deciding to try and push herself out of bed. She was a little unsteady on her feet but she was able to make her way to the bathroom across the hall and she could smell breakfast being cooked in the kitchen. _This was going to be a good day_.

By the time she made her way downstairs she realized that everyone was already up and it was a lot later than she had expected. She still hadn’t found her phone. Monty and Jasper were laying on the floor in the living room with their arms thrown over their eyes, Raven was asleep on the couch, Harper was curled upon the love seat, and she knew Murphy was sprawled across the armchair but he was completely covered by his comforter. Apparently everyone was suffering after Murphy’s jungle juice.

She walked into the kitchen and saw Octavia sitting on the counter eating out of the bag of chocolate chips while Lincoln and Bellamy worked to cook breakfast for everyone. The three of them seemed like they were the only ones not hungover and she felt a little jealous. She would go out and get The Secret Garden but breakfast was already being cooked and it would require her to go outside, and she didn’t want to go outside, and she would also have to change out of her pjs, which wasn’t going to happen.

“How are the three of you not hungover?” Clarke groaned as she hopped on the counter across from Octavia. “I feel like death.”

“You look like it too.” Murphy called from the living room. He seemed to be fine too.

“I don’t know but I’m not complaining.” Octavia threw some more chocolate chips in her mouth and leaned her head back. “Though I could go for a nap right about now.”

“You’ve been up for an hour, O.” Bellamy had a towel thrown over his shoulder and Clarke tried her best not to stare or else Octavia would probably point it out.

“I know, but it’s Saturday so that means time isn’t a thing so I can go back to sleep.”

“Well you should hold off because the food is almost done.” Lincoln made his way to where Octavia was sitting and handed her a piece of bacon. Seeing it made Clarke’s stomach grumble and she could hear Bellamy try to stifle his laugh before he handed her a piece of bacon too. She blushed.

Once the food was done everyone shuffled into the kitchen and Clarke noticed that everyone seemed out of it because they either bumped into each other, or something else before grabbing their food and collapsing back into their places in the living room. Bellamy and Clarke didn’t kiss or anything but they touched each other more and shared smiles when they caught the other looking at them. When the two of them settled in the living room they sat on the floor next to each other, close enough to where Clarke could feel Bellamy’s body heat warming her side but far enough away to where they didn’t touch. Clarke was halfway done with her food when she heard her phone ring.

“Has anyone seen my phone?”

“I think it’s in the vase on the table.” Monty grumbled. He was really out of it. Sure enough Clarke’s phone was lighting up the inside of the vase when she looked in it.

“What’s my phone doing in here?” Clarke asked, but no one seemed to know the answer. When she finally got it out the call had ended but she could see the texts that had built up from her mom.

_We have an event to go to Tuesday, call me_

_Clarke, I need to know where you are_

_I know you’re not wanting to talk to me but this is for your father_

_This is getting ridiculous_

_Answer the phone_

_I have been in touch with Cage and he says that you are in Arkadia. I expect to see you Tuesday night with him, he’ll pick you up._  

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Clarke groaned. Apparently her mom could put a damper on today.

“What’s up?” Raven was sitting in her usual place at the end of the couch with her leg elevated. _It must be hurting her_.

“My mother—”

“Is being a bitch?” Murphy offered.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“What is it this time?” Bellamy was still sitting on the floor but he had quit eating and was staring at her.

“She texted me saying that we have an event to go to Tuesday, which is Lincoln’s charity event, then she said that she’s been in touch with Cage, which is no surprise since his father owns Mountain Men Gallery and this event is for my father, but she also said that she expects to see me at the gallery with Cage because apparently he’s supposed to be picking me up.” Clarke could feel her blood boiling. There was no way in hell she was going to let that stand. She got another text and forced herself to read it.

_I gave Cage your number, I expect the two of you to figure out the details_. 

_Fuck_. Not only was her mother under the impression that she was going to just roll over and do what she says, but she also gave the one person Clarke didn’t want to talk to, more than her mother, her phone number. Of course almost immediately after her mother sends that text, Clarke gets a call from an unknown number. She fell back onto the floor and answered.

“Hello?”

“Clarke, it’s Cage Wallace, I’m assuming your mother has been in touch and you know about the charity event being hosted for your father Tuesday?” His tone was formal, business like, and it made Clarke even more angry.

“About that, Cage,” she could see Bellamy’s hand clench into a fist out of the corner of her eye, “I actually already have a date so there’s no need to give me a ride, thanks though, I’ll see you and my mother Tuesday.” She hung up before he could respond. That was going to piss her mother off.

“How do you think that’s going to go over with your mother?” Monty asked.

“Oh, she’s going to be pissed.” Clarke covered her eyes with her arm and her phone began ringing again. _It never ends_. “Speaking of the devil.” Clarke sighed then decided to answer the call, putting her mom on speaker.

“Clarke! How—”

“I have a date, you can’t tell me who to go with, I hate Cage, and I don’t want to talk to you but see you Tuesday, mom.” Then she hung up.

“I’ll grab the shovel if you grab the tape.” Murphy had finished his food and looked like he was trying to back to sleep.

“Deal.” Clarke sighed then turned to look at everyone. “Well, everyone, you get to meet the woman herself three days from now.”

“Who is your mom, Clarke?” Lincoln asked from his spot beside Octavia.

“Abby Griffin, she’s the—”

“One of the most renowned surgeons in the country? Are you fucking kidding me?” Lincoln sounded flabbergasted.

“I was just going to say the chief of surgery at D.C. Memorial Hospital, but she’s that too. How did you know?”

“Nyko has talked about her before, he loves the work she’s done.”

“She gets that a lot. If he’s able to come Tuesday I’ll introduce them.”

“You’ll really do that?”

“Of course, I may not be on great terms with my mother but if Nyko wants to meet her then I’ll make sure it happens.”

“Thank you, I’ll let him know.” Lincoln smiled at her then took out his phone. Suddenly Clarke felt mentally drained and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep until Wednesday.

“How about a movie marathon day?” Clarke looked at Jasper and found he was looking at her, despite having asked everyone the question.

“Sounds amazing to me.” Clarke smiled a little. There was a round of agreements as everyone began to finish their food and then the furniture was rearranged once everyone had finished eating. No one wasted any time preparing the living room for their movie marathon day with some of them working on a pallet, and others making snacks (despite the fact that everyone had just eaten), and Raven even pulled Clarke over to the DVDs so they could start a 'possibility' stack of movies to watch.

Even though she wasn’t in the best moods right now, and she was also wondering what exactly was going to happen between her and Bellamy, she found herself smiling at everyone around her. She really loved her new family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has gotten over 2100 hits and over 100 kudos and I can't thank everyone enough whose read this! This is the most any of my works have gotten and I'm so excited, I hope I can meet everyone's expectations with the rest of this story.
> 
> I hope you liked this chaper!  
> x


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the opening night/charity event

The next couple of days leading up to the opening night were kind of stressful, but spending time with Bellamy eased her nerves. Sunday when she had been dragged out to the mall to go dress shopping and Bellamy had been brought suit shopping, they texted back and forth sharing their misery about being forced to go to the mall, and that night they both ended up in Bellamy’s room while he graded papers and Clarke sketched him. She loved watching him work and when she was done with the drawing he gave her a kiss and told her he loved it, and he seemed genuinely impressed with it.

Monday she was busy at the bookstore but Bellamy showed up early for their lunch date with hot chocolate in hand and they received a knowing look from Kane as they headed out to grab something to eat. They still weren’t that affectionate around their roommates but there was more touching, more brushing past one another that caused Clarke’s body to jump at attention, and a few sly looks from Murphy that resulted in him getting hit with something. Things were good, they were taking it slow and Clarke wasn’t thinking about Tuesday.

Then Tuesday came. Clarke was already a ball of nerves when she woke up this morning and the fact that Bellamy had texted her saying that he couldn’t make their lunch, because Octavia needed him to bring her to the mall since her car had quit working and Lincoln was at work, didn’t help but she knew that he needed to help his sister.

Now, Clarke was currently sitting at Raven’s desk while Raven put the finishing touches on her hair. By the time Clarke got home Raven had almost finished getting ready and was immediately pushed into the seat she was currently sitting in. Raven was wearing a red, one-shoulder jumpsuit that hid her brace and Clarke had to admit, she looked stunning and the color was perfect for her skin. Her makeup was also perfect but Clarke expected nothing less.

“And I’m done!” Raven turned her around to look in the mirror in the corner of the room.

“Raven, I love it.” Clarke’s hair fell in loose waves around her face and it looked amazing.

“Of course you do, I’m great.” Raven smirked. “Now go finish getting ready, we need to leave in thirty.”

“Yes ma’am.” Clarke did a mock salute then made her way to her room.

Clarke had decided to keep her makeup natural and it fit with her dark blue dress. Her dress was one-shoulder like Raven’s jumpsuit but it was fitted and had a slight slit on the right side. She loved this dress when she was D.C. but she never really wore it. She wondered if Bellamy was going to like it. She had almost gotten it zipped up all the way but she couldn’t seem to get it up the last little bit, so she sighed and poked her head out the door.

“Raven? I need some help!” A door opened but it wasn’t Raven’s, Bellamy stepped out into the hallway wearing a black suit with a dark blue tie thrown around his neck. _God he looked stunning_. She tried to keep herself from blushing when he spoke.

“Something wrong?”

“Can you finish zipping me up? I can’t reach.” She couldn’t take her eyes off of him and noticed when his adam’s apple bobbed before he walked towards her. He was even more beautiful up close. She turned around and pulled her hair aside as he finished zipping her up, and he even placed a soft kiss to her shoulder.

“You look beautiful.” His voice was low and she blushed even harder.

“So do you.” She whispered as she turned around. “But you can’t walk in without this.” She grabbed the tie around his neck and began tying it.

“I can never figure these things out.” He admitted.

“My dad couldn’t either, my mother always had to tie his, and Wells was absolutely helpless.” She smiled at the memory. “And there you go, you’re going to be turning some heads tonight.”

“Are you going to get jealous?” Bellamy smirked down at her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

“I guess we’ll see.” She flicked her eyes down to his lips then back up to his eyes. “Do you want me to be jealous?”

“You have no reason to be.” He whispered then he brought his lips down to hers. She could definitely get used to doing this.

“Get a room.” Murphy called from down the hallway and they broke apart, Clarke glared at him.

“You have got to stop doing that.”

“Raven says it’s time to go.” Murphy held up his hands and started down the stairs. “Shotgun!”

“Hey!” Clarke grabbed Bellamy’s hand and tugged him down the hall. “But you and I aren’t done.” She winked up at him and was rewarded with a blush on his cheeks.

\--- 

As soon as they stepped through the door Clarke recognized some people from D.C., undoubtedly they had been brought here by her mother and the Wallace’s. Clarke’s hand tightened on Bellamy’s arm and he placed his hand over hers in silent reassurance. _She could do this_. Before they could step further into the gallery Octavia came barreling into them.

“You’re here, thank god, I’m fixing to lose my mind. These people are so pretentious.”

“Comes with the money, believe me.” Clarke groaned. “Where’s Lincoln?”

“He’s talking to Dante right now.” Octavia looked over to where Lincoln seemed to be in a deep discussion with Dante. “But I don’t like him.”

“I don’t think anyone actually likes him, they just like his money.” Clarke could feel the anxiety beginning to build in her chest, she was going to have to face her mother sooner or later. “Have you happened to see my mom?"

“There’s an older lady whose been walking around with Cage and another man.” _There was no way her mother brought Jaha to this charity event_.

“Griffin, you good?” Murphy was standing off to the side with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Yep. Totally fine. Let’s go look at Lincoln's work. And get a drink.” Clarke let Octavia lead the way to where Lincoln’s pictures were and they were breathtaking. There were nature scenes from all around town, some from a hike him and Octavia went on in the mountains, they were all amazing.

Octavia walked them all through each piece and told them how Lincoln was able to get each picture, and the smile never left her face which meant a smile never left Bellamy’s face either. Not only was Bellamy excited for Lincoln, Clarke knew, he was also happy to see his little sister so excited.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” Lincoln walked up and wrapped an arm around Octavia’s waist and placed a kiss on top of her head. She was smiling up at him until she looked off into the distance and narrowed her eyes.

“If Jasper doesn’t put that down…” Octavia muttered before hurrying off to where Jasper and Monty seemed to be inspecting a vase on one of the tables.

“These are amazing, Lincoln.”

“Thank you, I just hope that others think so too.”

“What did Dante have to say?” Clarke couldn’t help asking.

“He said that he liked my work and that he would like to see more of it, that he would consider having some of my works here all the time.”

“Wow, that’s fantastic! Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” Lincoln was failing to hide his smile then something caught his attention. “Excuse me, I’ll see you two later.” Then he was gone.

“Are you still anxious?” Bellamy leaned in close to whisper in her ear before kissing her head.

“A little, I still haven’t see my mother or Cage.” She took a sip of the wine she had been holding.

“Well I’m right here with you.” He tightened his hand on her waist.

“I know.” And she was grateful for him. He was offering her some of his strength when it seemed like hers was running out. She took a deep breath. _She should tell him_. “There’s something I should tell you.”

“Yeah?” His eyebrows were knit in concern as he looked down at her.

“My mother—my mother had an affair with Wells’ dad while my father was dying. And I think they’re both here tonight.”

“She cheated on your father with your best friend’s dad?” Bellamy seemed floored.

“Jaha had been my parents’ best friend for years, it’s why Wells and I became friends. Then, I don’t know why, that happened and that’s why Wells and I were out that night, neither of us were speaking to our parents.” She trailed off because she was on the verge of tears. She hadn’t told anyone else what happened with her mother and Jaha, and now Bellamy knew. She was either really wanting him to know everything about her or there was something about alcohol that just made her want to tell him everything.

“Clarke.” Her name came out as a breath before he pulled her closer and wrapped her up in his arms. They probably looked stupid to everyone around them, but she didn’t care. When they broke apart he wiped his thumb under her eye. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for coming.” Clarke gave him a small smile.

“Clarke Griffin?” Clarke turned to see Dante standing a few feet away. Clarke straightened her posture without really meaning to and plastered a smile on her face.

“Mr. Wallace, nice to see you again.” She said as she walked out of Bellamy’s arm to greet Dante. “Thank you for hosting this charity event for my family.”

“It’s my pleasure, Clarke, your father was a good man so when Cage brought up doing this event it was the least I could do.” _So Cage was responsible for this_.

“Yes, he was.” Clarke moved back to where Bellamy was and snaked her arm around his waist. “Mr. Wallace, this is my date, Bellamy Blake.” Bellamy held out his hand which Dante took.

“Ah, yes, one of your roommates.” Dante was looking down his nose at Bellamy, which made Clarke’s blood boil. “Your sister is the girlfriend of Lincoln.”

“Yes she is, sir. We’re all very proud of him.” Bellamy’s gaze was level as he looked at Dante who returned the look, but he didn’t respond, instead he turned to Clarke.

“Your mother is here somewhere, Cage has been showing her around.”

“I’m sure she’s been busy.” Clarke didn't want to talk and it seemed he got the message.

“Well, I should get back to hosting. It was nice to see you again Clarke, Bellamy.” Dante nodded his head at them before departing.

“Clarke?” Clarke closed her eyes. She was going to have to run into her sooner or later. Clarke took a deep breath then turned around to face her mother. Abby was standing in a sleeveless, knee-length, black dress with every hair in place and perfect makeup.

“Mom.”

“Oh, honey.” Her mother moved forward to wrap her in a hug and Bellamy tried moving aside but Clarke kept him where he was. Abby pulled back and looked at her. “You look wonderful.”

“Thanks.” Clarke’s smile was tight. She knew she had to put on the perfect daughter mask but that didn’t make it any less uncomfortable. “This is my date, and roommate, Bellamy Blake. Bellamy, this is my mother Dr. Abby Griffin.”

“Just Abby please, Mr. Blake, nice to meet you, Cage has told me a little bit about you.”

“I bet he did.” Bellamy’s tone was cool, and Clarke couldn’t blame him

“Hey, we thought we lost you guys.” Raven settled beside Clarke with Monty, Jasper, and Murphy surrounding them. “Hi, I’m Raven.” Raven didn’t offer her hand to Abby but instead smiled and nodded her head.

“Mom, these are my other roommates, Raven is the one who gave me the room, this is Jasper, Monty, and Murphy; he and I actually went to school together ten years ago.”

“Nice to meet everyone, I’m glad that you’ve all kept my daughter safe.” She turned her attention back to Clarke. “You look happy, honey.”

“She’s a lot happier since she moved out her.” Murphy was beside Bellamy, and Clarke knew what he was doing. Murphy may be a dick sometimes but he was loyal, just like Bellamy.

“Well, I’m delighted that she found nice roommates.”

“A nice family.” Jasper corrected.

“I see.” Clarke could see the flames beginning to burn behind Abby’s eyes. “Everyone would you excuse me and my daughter for just one moment please?” Everyone hesitated for a second before Clarke nodded her head and followed her mother, with one last squeeze to Bellamy and Raven’s hands.

“Something you want to say?”

“Clarke, I know you don’t like me right now, but I want you to come home, honey.”

“I am home, mom.”

“You can’t really believe that a group of people you’ve only known for, what, two months, is your family. Cage has told me about them—”

“And whatever Cage has told you is probably lies. He doesn’t know them, and neither do you.”

“So Bellamy didn’t get arrested for beating a man when he was younger? Raven didn’t get arrested for joy riding when she was sixteen?” _Had Bellamy done that?_ Now that Clarke was thinking about it, she didn’t know much about him.

“I got arrested for joy riding when I was seventeen, because of you!”

“Keep your voice down!” Abby grabbed Clarke’s arm and brought her closer to the hallway the bathrooms were down. “These people cannot be your family, Clarke. You’re better than that. They call themselves delinquents.”

“You don’t know these people. You weren’t there when I would wake up from my nightmares about dad dying, you didn’t try to help me cope with his death, you left me alone when I needed you, and then I found out that you had been screwing his best friend while he laid on his death bed. When Wells died you didn’t try to be there for me because you were with Jaha. The people you just met, they’re _there for me_ , I didn’t know them when I first moved here, that’s true, but they’re my family now.”

“Clarke, you have other family too.”

“Really? Because—”

“Clarke, I was wondering when you would make it.” Cage strolled up to her and her mother, effectively cutting off their conversation.

“Good evening, Cage.” Clarke pushed down the rage she had been feeling at her mom in an effort to seem more collected like she wasn’t just fixing to start screaming at her mom in the middle of an art gallery.

“You look beautiful tonight.”

“Thank you.” Clarke was trying to think of an exit strategy when Jaha walked up as well.

“Clarke, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Jaha.” _Oh, if only she could say what she wanted_.

“Cage, maybe you could show Clarke around the gallery some more? I loved the tour you gave me.” _This_ was her mother’s revenge. She shot her mother a foul look before taking Cage’s offered arm and letting him lead her through the crowd. She tried looking for Bellamy’s black curls or Raven’s red jumpsuit but she couldn’t find them. This gallery was a lot bigger than she had originally thought.

“How are you liking the gallery so far?” Cage asked, snapping Clarke’s attention back to him.

“It’s wonderful, Lincoln’s work is quite amazing.”

“I agree, I’m surprised that someone from his station was capable of this.”

“Excuse me?” Clarke stopped walking.

“You know, him and all of the others, your roommates, they’re not as _on par_ with the rest of us.”

“They may not have had as much money as us but there is nothing lesser about them. They are the best people I have ever met and if you so much as _hint_ that they are beneath you then I will drag you through the dirt in that designer suit that daddy bought.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Without another word Clarke left and went on a hunt for her friends. She was in no mood to talk to anyone else but was relieved when she bumped into Luna.

“Clarke, hey.”

“Hey, Luna.” There was something about Luna that seemed calming, and that was something she could us right now. “Where’s Nyko? I promised I’d introduce him to my mom.”

“He’s over there talking with Lincoln.” She pointed to where Lincoln and Nyko were talking and she saw Jaha and her mother walk up and shake Lincoln’s hand.

“Well there’s my mom right now.”

“Are you okay?” Luna’s expression was serious.

“I’ve had a long night.” Clarke sighed. She hadn’t drank much wine but what she did have was starting to give her a headache.

“Here,” Luna handed her another glass of wine, “walk with me.” Luna linked her arm with Clarke’s and began walking them down the rows of artwork. “Octavia told me you like to draw, have you ever had your work in a gallery?”

“A couple of times, but that was a few years ago.”

“Do you still draw?”

“I stopped for a while but, I’m starting to draw more.”

“I find that creating things and doing something that makes you happy is good for your soul. I moved here because I was running from something, a life of violence had made me angry and bitter, but with Nyko and Lincoln’s help I started doing things that made me happy. I found peace with everything that had happened in my life; and I can tell that something happened to you before you moved here, Clarke, I don’t know what it is but if I can find peace, then so can you.” Luna’s words shocked Clarke. It was hard to imagine that someone as calm as Luna had experienced a life of violence, but Clarke could see in her eyes that she had experienced _something_ that made her this way.

“Thank you.” Was all Clarke could say, her head was still spinning.

“You’re welcome, now, I think someone wants to steal you away so I’ll see you later.” Luna gave Clarke’s arm a squeeze then smiled at someone and walked away.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Clarke turned to see Bellamy standing next to her, his hands in his pockets and a smile that made it’s way across his face when she looked at him.

“My mom sent me off with Cage.” She could see Bellamy’s shoulders tense. “But then I left him and ran into Luna when I was looking for you.” She moved towards him and linked her arm with his. “Would it be rude if we went home?” He grinned down at her.

“I think Lincoln would understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this may be the longest chapter yet
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy tells Clarke about his past...and some other stuff...

Lincoln had understood when they told him that they were heading out, and Clarke pulled Raven and Murphy aside and told them that if her mother said anything to them then they had her permission to say anything they wanted. Under normal circumstances she may have regretted telling them that but considering what her mother said, she didn’t care. Now her and Bellamy were riding back to the house that was on the other side of town. He was driving with his left hand while his right hand was linked with hers and he was caressing her thumb with his.

“Something on your mind?” Clarke had been staring out the window but she turned to look at Bellamy.

“Just something my mom had said to me.” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to have this conversation now but they were going to have to have it sooner or later. She sighed. “She said that you were arrested when you were younger because you beat a man.” Bellamy’s thumb stalled on hers and he squeezed her hand.

“Can this wait until we get home?” His eyes were pleading. This was a sensitive topic for him, but talking about everything from D.C. was a sensitive topic for her.

“Yeah, sure.” He gave her a sad smile but brought her hand up to kiss the back of it.  _Whatever happened when he was younger, that isn’t who he is now._

When they got back to the house Bellamy opened the door for her and offered to get them both drinks while she went and changed into her pajamas. She loved dressing up every now and then but the feeling of changing out of those clothes was amazing at the end of it. When she got back downstairs Bellamy was sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand and it seemed like he had gone back to being the brooding guy she met at the bar.

“Hey.” Clarke grabbed the drink he had set on the table for her and then folded herself onto the couch next to him. He looked up at her, his eyes were already starting to redden.

“Hey.” He smiled a little at her and his eyes crinkled a little at the corners. “So, I think you need the full story.” He took a shaky breath and Clarke reached out and touched his knee.

“You don’t need to, Bellamy.”

“No, I want to. I just—I haven’t—” He took a deep breath. “It’s just really hard, but I know that everything you’ve told me was hard for you.”

“Take your time.” Clarke reached up and brushed some curls off of his forehead. He took a sip of his drink then leaned his head back against the couch.

“My dad died when I was little, and Octavia’s dad left before she was born. The relationships my mom had when we were growing up, well…they weren’t always good ones.” He took another sip of his drink. “When I was fourteen my mom started dating this drug dealer, on and off, he was fucking terrible. He hated me and O, always yelled, but what I hadn’t known was that he was hitting our mom. I didn’t find that out until I was sixteen and I went to hug her one day and she winced.” She watched his jaw tick at the memory. “Can you imagine wanting to hug your mother but finding that you couldn’t because she had been getting hit by an asshole who was supposed to protect her? I was pissed.” His free hand balled into a fist and the knuckles on the hand that was holding the cup turned white.

“A week later I was coming home late, I had dropped Octavia off at Jasper’s because they were having a sleep over with Monty, and when I walked into the living room my mother was on the floor crying with a black eye and the guy was standing over her. I lost it, Clarke. I saw red.” A tear slipped down his face and Clarke reached out to wipe it away. Hearing this was breaking her heart but she didn’t interrupt him. “I dropped the bags I was carrying and I lunged at him. He was drunk, and there was so much blood, but I couldn’t stop. My mom was begging me to stop but I didn’t hear her, I didn’t hear anything until I heard Octavia’s voice in my head and I realized that if I didn’t stop then she wouldn’t have anybody.” He took a shaky breath and Clarke moved closer to him on the couch, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I got off of him and realized my mom had called the cops. They arrested me but the guy dropped the charges because he knew I could get him arrested for the drug dealing. My mom tried her best, she always made sure we knew we were loved, she did what she could but for the most part it was me taking care of Octavia. I got her up for school, I helped her with her homework, I cooked, I went grocery shopping, I worked odd jobs for money until I could get a real job, and I still managed to get a full ride to college, and I made sure Octavia got the same.” He tossed back the rest of his drink. “Yeah when I was in high school I did some stupid shit and I got into fights, Octavia could tell you all about it, but what I did to that man that night…I think my mom never saw me the same way again. Then she died as I was starting college from a drug overdose.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve tried to make up for what I did that night, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke leaned back so she could look at Bellamy as tears fell down her cheeks, “you were protecting your mom, he could have killed her that day if you hadn’t done something. If you want forgiveness, I’ll give it to you,  _you’re forgiven_ , Bellamy.” He started shaking his head but Clarke moved into his lap and grabbed his face with her hands, forcing him to look at her. “You are the most caring, and loving, and loyal person I have ever met. You take care of  _everyone_  in this house, and you take care of Miller, and Bryan, and Wick, and you’re still looking out for Octavia. Bellamy, you have a heart of gold and you put everyone’s needs before your own. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and what happened that night, who you were that night, that is not who you are anymore.”

Bellamy leaned his forehead against hers and placed his hands on her waist. His breathing was ragged and it tore at Clarke’s heart. Bellamy was the constant in her life, the ground she anchored herself to when things got to be too much, but now she was his grounding him. She rubbed her thumbs across his cheeks pressed her lips to his forehead. He tightened his grip on her waist and brought his eyes up to hers.

“I mean it, Bellamy.”

“Clarke—” The look in his eyes was like he was seeing a light inside the darkness.

She cut him off with a kiss. She wanted to kiss all of the pain away, and she wanted him to know that he was loved by the family he was a part of. She moved her fingers into his curls and tugged slightly, causing him to moan against her mouth and she moved her tongue to meet his. They both tasted like whiskey and tears, but their broken pieces fit together. Just like their rag tag family of delinquents. He moved his hands down to her hips and rubbed circles on her exposed skin above her waistband. There was nothing about Bellamy now that would lead Clarke to think he was the same person from when he was sixteen, he wasn’t, and she hoped he knew that.

Clarke rolled her hips against him and his hands moved to down to grab her ass as he began trailing kisses down her neck. Everything that had happened tonight cleared from Clarke’s head as she focused on Bellamy’s lips and hands on her. Everything that happened between them, the arguing, the late night talks, the lunch dates, the shared looks before they had even kissed, played in Clarke’s mind.  _She loves him_.

“Bellamy.” His name was a sigh on her lips and he pulled back to look at her.

“What do you want, Princess?” He was still rubbing circles on her skin.

“I think I should be asking you that.” She massaged his scalp with her fingertips and he hummed. “What do you want, Bellamy?”

“You.” His voice was rough and that one word made her want to melt.

“You have me.” He made a noise low in his throat and crashed his lips into hers. She rolled her hips and he gripped her ass tighter as she stood up from the couch and began walking towards the stairs.

He shouldered open his door and kicked it shut behind him then laid Clarke down on his bed. He was still in his dress clothes and Clarke loved the look on him, but not as much as she loved him being shirtless. He was hard against her with his arms propping him up above her and she kissed him as she began unbuttoning his shirt. When she reached the bottom he pulled back to shrug it off and she reached down to unbuckle his belt but he caught her hand as she went to push off his pants.

“I think you’re wearing too many clothes.” He grinned down at her and she sat so she was face to face with him.

“Then take them off.”

“So bossy.” He teased before he kissed her. He moved his hands under the hem of her shirt and ran his fingers over her skin causing her to shiver. When he gripped the bottom of her shirt he pulled away, silently asking for her permission, and she nodded. He pulled the shirt up and over her head, throwing it on the floor. He paused and looked at her, she doesn’t wear a bra to bed so she definitely hadn’t been wearing one under her pajamas. “You are perfect.”

She could feel herself blush at his compliment as she reached her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him back down on top of her as she kissed him. She loved the feeling of his bare chest against hers and she wanted to feel more of him. He began trailing kisses down her neck, across her collarbone, and then down her chest. He moved to one of her breasts and took it in his mouth and began sucking while one of his hands kneaded the other. He gently bit her before pulling away and moving to the other, causing her to cry out. There was heat pooling between her legs and if something didn’t happen soon she was afraid she’d combust.

“ _Bellamy_.” He moved back up to her lips and kissed her again as he reached for the waistband of her sweatpants. He leaned back a little and she nodded her head again. “Please.” Her voice was a whisper against his lips and he tugged down her sweatpants and her underwear then kicked off his pants that she had undone earlier.

“Are you still sure?” She could tell he was wrecked, she was too.

“ _Yes._ ” She loved how he wanted to make sure, but, God, she was getting frustrated. He smiled and kissed her quickly before reaching into his nightstand and grabbing a condom and rolling it on.

He turned his attention back to her lips and started kissing her again, but it was slower this time as he moved his fingers down between her legs and slipped a finger inside her, quietly cursing under his breath. He kissed her cheek, her jawline, down her neck…they were all soft and tender and it made her heart ache. Not even thirty minutes ago he had basically told her that he thought he was a monster for what he did that night, but no monster would be capable of this. She brought her legs up to wrap around him and he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed into her.

He started slowly at first, letting her get used to the feeling but soon she was pressing her heels into his lower back, urging him to go faster. He picked up the pace and she could feel herself building up. She had wondered what this would be like, even had a dream or two about it, but nothing compared to the real thing. His kisses were soft whereas the way he pounded into her was rough, and she loved it.  _She loves him_.

“ _Bellamy_.” He picked up the pace even more and she could feel herself at the edge, and by the way he was breathing she could tell he was close too.

“Come for me, baby.” She fell apart at the words he whispered into her skin and he followed her. He worked her through her comedown and by the end of it her arms and legs felt like they weighed a ton. He rolled off of her and tossed the condom into a waste basket beside his desk before laying down beside her and throwing a blanket across the two of them and pulling her close.

“That was amazing.” She murmured against his chest. “Would it be weird if I said I had dreamed about that happening?” His chest vibrated with his laugh as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“Nope, I dreamed the same thing.” She turned her head up to look at him.

“I think you’re perfect too, Bellamy.” His fingers stalled in her hair and she leaned over to kiss his neck. “I mean it. And I will do everything I can to make you believe it.” She yawned and laid her head back on his chest then he rolled over to face her, pulling her closer.

“Go to sleep, Princess.” He kissed the top of her head as she drifted off to sleep.

\--- 

After Clarke fell asleep Bellamy stayed up running his fingers through her hair. He had told her what happened, the thing that had kept him up at night for years, and she responded with nothing but affection and care. She didn’t shy away from him, she didn’t look at him like he was the monster he thought he was, he laid his broken pieces out in front of her and she picked them up and put them back together with pieces from herself.  _He loves her_. His fingers stalled in her hair.

He knew what he felt for her was something more than just attraction and liking her, but he didn’t let himself think about it too much. Until now. This stubborn, broken girl that walked into his life about two months ago, who he had argued with almost every single day in the beginning, holds his heart now. He doesn’t know when it happened but somewhere along the way he fell for this girl and she wanted him too. It was too early to tell her, she needed time, she was still dealing with things from her past and didn’t need him throwing his feelings in too. He could wait for her.

He smiled to himself then pressed a kiss to her forehead. This night had been an emotional roller coaster for both of them but having her in his arms right now was nothing short of pure bliss. She stirred in his arms and pulled back a little to look at her. She looked so peaceful while she slept, even if her lips were moving in silent words. He began running his fingers through her hair again.  _Yeah, he could wait for her._

“Bellamy.” He stalled his fingers again and looked down at her, she was definitely still asleep. He smiled again.  _She was cute when she dreamed_. “I love you.” The last words came out at barely a whisper and he was wondering if he had heard her correctly, but there was no mistaking them. She had said she loved him, even if she was sleeping. He still wouldn’t tell her how he felt, not yet anyway, she still needed time, but that didn’t keep him from falling asleep with a smile on his face as her words echoed in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the lines from Day Trip have been used over and over again, it's cliche, but I couldn't help it. I feel like their conversation was close to the actual conversation they had in the show, so I'm happy with how it turned out.  
> Also, I know I'm not the best at writing smut but I'm trying lol
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning and a dinner offer

Clarke wakes up the next morning to an alarm clock and a mess of black curls on her stomach. She reached over and silenced Bellamy’s alarm and then started running her fingers through his hair. Last night he opened up to her and she saw just how much pain he had gone through reflected in his eyes. He may not have nightmares like her, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still having trouble dealing with his past. Bellamy’s arm tightened around her waist as he stirred then he brought his sleepy brown eyes up to hers.

“’Morning, beautiful.” He gave her a sleepy smile and she giggled.

“Good morning.” She moved some curls out of his eyes and he kissed her stomach.

“I need to get ready, I have to teach a class.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself to get up rather than telling her why he had to leave.

“You can’t leave your students waiting, Mr. Blake.” She teased.

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Princess?”

“Never.” She smiled and he moved up to give her a quick kiss.

“Come shower with me.” He pushed himself off of her and stood up, holding out his hand. She grinned and placed her hand in his then they snuck down the hallway and into the bathroom.

\--- 

After Bellamy left to go to campus Clarke made her way down to the kitchen. She felt lighter this morning, but she knew that it probably wasn’t going to last since her mother was still in town. She would have to ask Raven and Murphy how the rest of the night went after her and Bellamy left. She made some tea then moved to her usual spot on the island and took out her phone. There weren’t any calls or texts from her mom, which was good, but there was a text from Cage.

 _I believe we got off on the wrong foot last night, let me take out to dinner to apologize._  

 _Does this guy ever stop?_ She was about to set her phone down when she got another alert for a text. It was from Bellamy and her heart skipped a beat.

_Miss you already, see you at lunch?_

She smiled and responded.

 _I miss you too, and yes you will x_  

She was still grinning down at her phone when Raven walked into the kitchen.

“Is that your hot date from last night?” Raven leaned up against the counter across from Clarke and quirked one of her eyebrows, causing Clarke to blush. “I knew it. I saw the two empty glasses when we came home last night.” Raven’s smile was wicked. “He’s great in bed, isn’t he?” Clarke choked on her tea.

“What?”

“I never told you?”

“You and Bellamy had sex!”  _Why was she was just finding out about this?_

“It was after Finn and he was there. Nothing has happened since, don’t worry.”

“I just can’t believe neither of you told me.”

“That’s because there was nothing to tell. We had sex once, it was great, but that was the end of it.”

“He is pretty great.” Clarke smiled at her memory from the night before.

“So much better than Finn, right?”

“Definitely.” Both of them started laughing and Clarke felt her anxiety about Raven and Bellamy fade away. She had been living with them for a while now and it didn’t seem like anything was still going on, so she decided to drop it. “Did anything happen after we left last night?”

“Not really, I’m pretty sure this one lady was trying to poach Jasper, but Octavia put a stop to that, and your mom said a few words towards the middle but she didn’t talk to us. Lincoln said he was envious that the two of you had been able to leave.”

“I feel bad, we shouldn’t have left.”

“Why did you leave?” Raven was gazing at her with her calculating stare. Clarke took a deep breath.

“I needed to get away. My mom said she wanted to come back to D.C., that I couldn’t possibly thing that everyone here was my family because I didn’t know you, even went as far as to say that I was better than being called a Delinquent.”

“What did you say?” Raven’s eyes were narrowed.

“I told her she didn’t know what she was talking about, that she didn’t know any of you. I told her that everyone here is my family now and that I was home. And when Cage said that you were below us I told him that everyone I live with are some of the best people I ever met and if he said anything against you again I would drag him through the dirt in the expensive suit that his daddy bought him.”

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.” Raven grinned.

“And here I was thinking it was for my looks.” Clarke teased.

“Don’t worry, babe, that too.” Raven winked and then Monty and Jasper made their way into the kitchen and they all started making breakfast. They were all laughing and telling jokes, talking about what they wanted to do for Halloween, and Clarke felt calm. Her mother had been wrong, she does know these people and she’s not going anywhere.

\--- 

Lunch time couldn’t seem to come fast enough but when it did get there it took everything in Clarke not to jump into Bellamy’s arms as soon as he walked through the door. She had it bad. They walked hand in hand to Louie’s Café as Bellamy talked about how his class had gone that morning and Clarke found that she loved listening to him talk about his work. He seemed to really love it and his face lit up anytime someone brought up history. It was adorable. It wasn’t until after they got their drinks and ordered that Clarke decided to bring up what Raven told her.

“I didn’t know you and Raven had sex.” She sounded nonchalant about it but Bellamy choked on his water. “It’s fine though, she explained everything.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, if I’m being honest I kind of forgot that happened.” He was rubbing the back of his neck and there was a blush on his cheeks.

“No need to be sorry.” She smiled at him. Him being embarrassed was cute. Clarke’s phone went off and she picked it up then rolled her eyes.

“Who is it?”

“My mother, says we need to talk about what happened last night.” She stuffed the phone in her jacket pocket. “Don’t have anything I want to say to her that I didn’t say last night.” Clarke sighed then told Bellamy what had happened between her and her mother, and then her and Cage, and ended with the text that he had sent her this morning.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Bellamy sat back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. “He’s never going to stop.”

“He will, I can be very persuasive.” Clarke had meant it as a joke but Bellamy’s eyes darkened. “Hey, everything is going to be fine. I’ll talk to my mom and tell her to quit trying to make something happen.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “I’ve already found someone.”

Bellamy smiled and brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles. He was so gentle and loving, there was nothing he could do that would make her see him how he had saw himself all those years ago. Their food was brought and they ate and talked about what they should cook for dinner when his phone rang. It seemed that they were very popular today.

“O?” His entire body straightened when he answered the phone, like he was getting ready to leave in case he needed to. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, his body relaxing. “This weekend? What about—alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“What’s up?” Clarke reached over and stole a piece of bacon off of his plate before he could swat her away.

“Apparently the Dropship is having a Halloween contest this weekend and she was calling to make sure that I would have a costume.”

“This weekend? I don’t have time to find a costume!” _Why hadn’t anyone told her sooner?_

“Octavia says she has something that she thinks you might like to wear, she made it and wants to see if it’s good.”

“She can make clothes?” Clarke knew Octavia was going to school become a lawyer, she didn’t seem like she could sew clothes.

“Our mother was a seamstress, she taught Octavia a lot.” He smiled a little as he remembered a memory and Clarke’s heart constricted.

“Then I can’t wait to see it.” Clarke smiled and Bellamy returned it, his eyes crinkling a little at the edges. She loves his smile.

They finished eating and he walked her back to the bookstore. It was all so normal at this point but it was also different. They knew the darkest parts of each other and they still wanted to be with one another. She really loves this huge history dork that’s walking beside her with his hand in hers as he talks about how he named Octavia the day she was born. _She needs to tell him_. She stopped on the sidewalk and he stopped with her, his brows drawing together in concern.

“Bellamy—” She was cut off by her phone ringing. _What is it with people wanting to talk today_. She fished it out of her pocket, it was her mom. She turned the phone towards him so he could read the name and he nodded then kissed her forehead as she answered. “Hey, mom.”

“Clarke, look, I want to apologize for what I said last night. I was out of line.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Honey, let me make up for it. I’d like to invite you and your friends out for dinner tomorrow night, my treat.”

“You really don’t have too—”

“I want to. I want to get to know the people you’re living with, your...family.” Clarke could hear how she hesitated before she said the last word, but she was trying.

“I’ll talk to everyone else, though they could be busy.”

“I understand that, I just want to try and make things better.”

“Is—”

“No, he went back to D.C.” Even now, her mother could still figure out what she was going to say.

“Okay, I’ll let you know what they say. Bye, mom.”

“Bye, honey.” Clarke ended the call then placed her phone back in her pocket.

“What did she have to say?” Bellamy tightened his grip on her hand.

“She wants to invite everyone out to dinner tomorrow night.”

“Really?” Bellamy seemed skeptical, and Clarke couldn’t blame him.

“Yeah, said she was out of line last night and that she wants to get to know my knew family.”

“She said that?”

“I know, it’s weird. But if she’s willing to try then I guess I am too. It doesn’t make up for what she did, though.”

“No, it doesn’t, but if you have the chance to have one of parents back in your life then you should take it.” Clarke knew he was remembering his mom and dad, and the thought of him being sad made her heart hurt. She stopped walking and brought her free hand up to his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

“I will.”

“Good.” She smiled then gave her another quick kiss before they started towards the book store again.

\--- 

**The Delinquents**

**Clarke:** my mother offered to bring all of us to dinner tomorrow night

 **Raven:** …ur joking, right?

 **Monty:** seriously?

 **Jasper:** I love free food

 **Clarke:** not joking, she says she wants to get to know everyone

 **Murphy:** I’ll go, but I’m not making any promises about being nice

 **Clarke:** I don’t expect you to

 **Raven:** me either

 **Clarke:** just be yourselves, you are awesome the way you are

 **Raven:** damn straight

 **Monty:** I’m in

 **Raven:** me too

 **Jasper:** you had me at free food

 **Bellamy:** you already know I’m coming

 **Murphy:** we all know u came last night

 ***** Murphy has been removed from the group chat *****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how the dinner is going to go...
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really short (I know) but it gives some insight into what Clarke is thinking about tomorrow...and fluff

When Clarke got home she texted her mom that all five of her roommates were going to go to the dinner and her mom responded with a time and a place. Apparently Abby Griffin was still determined to have her higher end service because she scheduled the dinner at the hotel where she was staying, the Hilton in downtown. Clarke rolled her eyes as she pushed through the front door. She was pretty sure everyone was going to see it as her mom trying to bribe them, which is what she was doing inadvertently, but that was just her mother.  _Though was there something more to it?_

“So, where are we eating tomorrow?” Monty was sitting on the couch next to Jasper and they were playing Black Ops.

“The Hilton in downtown at six sharp.”

“Sounds like your mom is trying to impress us.” Raven called from the kitchen.

“Or bribe us.” Murphy offered from his place in the armchair.

“Nope, that’s just who she is.” Clarke dropped her bag on the floor and began making her way into the kitchen. “I’m not talking to you.” She pointed at Murphy who just smirked.

“Calm down, Griffin, no need to be a prude.”

“No need for you to be a dick.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment!” Murphy called after her.

“She’s not expecting us to dress up is she? Because I’m not going to.” Raven was at the sink putting dishes in the dishwasher.

“Not fully dress up, but the dress code for the Hilton is smart casual.”

“Fantastic.” The sarcasm in Raven’s voice made Clarke laugh.

“I love you for doing this.”

“Of course you do.”

“Aw, no love for me?” Jasper had made his way into the kitchen and was getting the cookies out of the cabinet.

“I love you too, Jasper.” Clarke smiled at him and he smiled back. His eyes were practically closed.

“Yay!” He grinned then walked back into the living room, he was _really_ high, and Clarke laughed.

Usually Bellamy would have beaten Clarke home but he had texted her and told her that he had to have a meeting with his advisor so she decided to go ahead and start dinner. It wasn’t that the two of them needed to cook dinner, they just liked cooking with each other. She was in the process of stirring the ground meat when two hands snaked around her waist and a kiss was pressed to her cheek.

“Honey, I’m home.” Bellamy whispered in her ear and she laughed, leaning back against him.

“Just in time, food’s almost done.” She turned her head and kissed him. It was all so domesticated, she loved it.

“Oh god, I’m going to hurl.”

“Fuck off, Murphy!” Clarke called.

“Fuck out the kitchen!” Murphy called back.

“Trouble in paradise?” Bellamy asked as he went to the fridge to get a drink.

“Now I’m definitely going to hurl.”

“Aw, Murphy, I thought you said our love was pure?” Clarke feigned being hurt and when she turned around she saw Murphy smirk. The fact that they were back to their little banter matches meant that there were no hard feelings about his comment or being removed from the group chat (though of course he had been put back in). “Food’s almost ready, can you get everyone else?”

“Foods done!” Murphy yelled and Clarke flinched at the loud sound. Even though the house was kind of big, everyone heard him and came running into the kitchen.

Dinner was eaten in the living room while everyone watched _Boss Baby_ on Netflix and talked about what exactly was going to happen tomorrow. They had never had lunch with each other’s parents, except Monty and Jasper, and Clarke realized that this was a first for them. Clarke had pieced together that Raven’s father left pretty young and knew that her mother drank herself to death, she also knew that Murphy’s dad had been killed shortly after they moved and his mother killed herself because of it, and then Monty and Jasper had both lost their parents in a car crash. Not only were they delinquents, but they were orphans, and they had made a family with each other. Though, if Clarke thought about it, Bellamy was kind of like their makeshift father figure and it made her smile.

After dinner was finished and the dishes were put away everyone turned in, but Clarke didn’t think twice about putting one of Bellamy’s shirts on and crawling into his bed. It was a lot more comfortable than hers. He walked in after brushing his teeth and she was already nestled into the blanket and falling asleep. She saw him smile then cross over to the other side of the bed and turn out the light before crawling in next to her.

“Are you worried about tomorrow?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. This was easily becoming the only place she wanted to be.

“A little. After what happened last night I don’t want to get into a yelling match with my mom in the middle of a restaurant, it was bad enough I almost did it at the gallery.”

“Do you think she means it when she says she wants to understand?”

“I don’t know. My mom was never one to apologize, so this is a first.” Clarke was trying to think of every possible scenario in her head for what could happen tomorrow night, but she was getting tired. Bellamy tightened his arms around her and kissed her forehead, she looked up at him.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ll have everyone there and I won’t let her separate us again.” The intensity of his gaze made her heart stutter.

“I know you won’t.” She traced little patterns on his skin before leaning up to kiss him. Kissing him pushed everything out of her mind until she was only thinking about him and his arms around her and his lips on hers. No matter how bad things got with her, she knew he would be right there with her. Eventually they broke apart and Clarke could feel sleep pulling at her. “Goodnight, handsome.”

“Good night, baby." He placed a kiss to the top of her head and she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short but I feel like if I hadn't broken it up then the next chapter would be insanely long (though I haven't gotten around to writing it, I can feel that it's going to be a long one lol)
> 
> I hoped you liked it!  
> x


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner time!

The following day was hectic. While Clarke was at work she kept getting texts from her roommates asking if what they had picked out for the dinner was suitable and her mother kept asking about information so she would have conversation starters. Finally Clarke just said that as long as they had a plain shirt and non-ripped jeans then they should be fine and she texted her mom a list of what her friends were majoring in and figured that would be enough. Apparently she looked more nervous than she expected because Kane asked her if something was going on.

“My mom is in town, I hadn’t seen her since I moved but the opening night at gallery for Lincoln’s work was also a charity event for a foundation named after my dad, and now she wants to have dinner with me and everyone I live with.”

“I’m gathering the two of you didn’t leave off on good terms both when you left and at the gallery?”

“Not particularly.” Clarke couldn’t help the incessant moving of her hands on the counter but Kane reached over and took them.

“If she’s reaching out to you then it seems like she wants to make amends. She’s your mother, Clarke, and some part of you will always want her in your life. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but this is a chance for it to get better. I’m not saying what happened will be erased, but it could mean starting fresh.” Kane’s voice words were reassuring. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve assumed he was Bellamy’s dad.

“Thank you, Kane.”

“Anytime.” He smiled then walked back to his office. Start fresh, she could do that with her mom. Couldn’t she?

\---

As soon as Clarke walks through the door she’s practically dragged by Jasper up to his room to help him figure out which shirts he and Monty should wear because apparently they both wanted to wear the same one. Clarke tried to stifle her grin as they bickered back and forth like a married couple then after a few minutes she handed Monty and gray, long-sleeve shirt and Jasper a dark blue long-sleeve shirt and told them both to pair the shirts with black jeans. After she left their room she saw Raven’s door was open and could see her friend throwing clothes around her room before she stood up triumphantly and yelled ”HA!”. Clarke smiled and shook her head before grabbing her towel and slipping into the bathroom.

About thirty minutes later Clarke emerges from her room with a burgundy, long-sleeve sweater on with dark blue jeans and minimal makeup. She knows it’s probably not what he mother would’ve picked out for her but it’s what Clarke is comfortable in, so that’s what she’s going with. She can hear everyone in the living room so she follows the noise down the stairs. Everyone was either standing up or lounging around on the couches and Clarke had to admit, they did pretty well with limited time. Murphy opted for a dark gray long-sleeve with his black jean coat, Raven was wearing a white turtle neck sweater and dark blue jeans, Monty and Jasper were wearing what she suggested and she could see the outline of Jasper’s goggles in his back pocket, she didn’t see Bellamy though.

“Everyone ready?”

“No, we’re just standing around for our health.”

“Ha-ha.” Clarke rolled her eyes at Murphy but she knew the banter would calm her down. “Where’s Bellamy?”

“Right here.” Clarke jumped and turned around. Bellamy was behind her in a black long-sleeve button up and his dark jeans, his hair was slightly less wild but he was still amazing to look at. The black seemed to make his skin glow and his dark brown eyes seemed brighter. He made his way down the stairs and stopped beside her. “I’m ready too.”

“Okay, great.” It took everything in her to look away from the masterpiece that was standing in front of her. “Monty, can we still take your van?”

“Yep.”

“Then let’s go.” Everyone filed out of the house and towards Monty’s van but before Clarke could walk out of the door Bellamy grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the house.

“You look amazing.” He brought his right hand up to caress her cheek.

“Does that mean I don’t look amazing every other time?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Well..."

“Rude!” She slapped out at his arm and he laughed.

“You know I think you always look amazing.” He leaned down and hovered his lips over hers, unsure if she would want to kiss him. But of course she did. She pressed her lips into his and he deepened it. She was going to be okay tonight.

“Hurry up we’re dying from old age!” Raven called from the driveway and the two of them broke apart.

“I think we should go.” Clarke mumbled while playing with the curls at the nape of his neck.

“After you, Princess.” He smiled down at her and she rose onto the tips of her toes to give him one last kiss before they walked to the van.

The Hilton was grand, the best hotel they had in Arkadia, so of course this was where her mother chose to stay. There was a large fountain out front and the front door opened into a wide lobby that was nothing but marble flooring and chandeliers, something Clarke expected out of an old fashioned movie. There was also dark furniture spaced out across the floor with couches and tables and she saw Abby sitting on one of the couches tapping her fingers on her knee. Aside from the obvious show of nerves, her mother looked like the calm and collected surgeon she knew. _This should be fun_.

“Mom?” Abby looked over then shot up, grabbing Clarke in for a hug.

“Hi, honey.” She pulled back and smiled. “I’m glad you could make it, it’s nice to see everyone again.” Abby smiled at everyone else. “Who’s hungry?”

Everyone followed Clarke’s mom into the dining room where a large, round table had been set up towards the side of the room. The dining room wasn’t any less extravagant than the lobby, there were dark hardwood floors with more chandeliers hanging across the ceiling and white clothed tables. Abby sat in the direct center of the circle so Clarke sat to her left, then Bellamy, Raven, Jasper, Monty, and Murphy, then there was an empty seat to Abby’s right. A waiter showed up to take everyone’s drink order soon after they all settled into their seats.

“I don’t think I was able to properly introduce myself last night, I’m Abby,” Clarke watched as her mom fell into her host role. “I’d like to see if I remember everyone correctly. Bellamy?” Abby looked at Bellamy who nodded his head. “Raven, Jasper, Monty, and Murphy. Correct?” Everyone nodded and it was Jasper who spoke next.

“Thank you for inviting us to dinner, Ms. Griffin.” He gave her one of his sweet smiles.

“Abby, please, Jasper, and it’s my pleasure. I’d love to get to know Clarke’s new fr—family.” Her mom was trying, and that’s what counted. Their drinks were brought and their food orders were taken, then it fell to an uncomfortable silence.

Surprisingly it was Murphy who started the conversations, talking about how he and Clarke first met ten years ago. Clarke studied her mom as he talked and she could see the corners of her mouth turn up slightly when he told her about how one day Clarke offered him her food instead of throwing it at him and they had been friends ever since then until he moved.

“Clarke, I’m surprised you never told me.” Abby chided.

“Just slipped my mind, I guess.” She lied. The reason why she had never told her mom was because her mom was never home, it was always her dad.

“Don’t worry, it was a surprise to us too.” Raven said as she took a sip of her mojito. Everyone had opted for something alcoholic, even her mom who was sipping from a glass of red wine, but Bellamy just stuck with a soda. But then again, he was driving.

“Now we can continue our true love.” Murphy was leaning back in his chair with the front legs off the ground and Abby choked on her wine. Clarke patted her on the back.

“He’s just kidding, he thinks he’s funny.” Clarke rolled her eyes but she could see the shit-eating grin on Murphy’s face. Clarke could hear footsteps approaching and she assumed it was going to be the waiter with the food, but that was definitely _not_ who was standing next to them now.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Abby, traffic was terrible.” Cage Wallace bent down and kissed Abby on the cheek before taking the empty seat next to her. “I hope I’m not too late. Good evening, everyone.” Cage smiled at everyone around the table and Murphy physically moved away from him and towards Monty while Clarke’s hand gripped the table cloth and bunched it in her fist. _This is what her mother had been planning_.

“What are you doing here?”

“Clarke, manners.”

“No, it’s quite alright. She doesn’t want to talk to me and I accept that.” Cage smiled at Clarke and she felt her stomach drop. _Wells had been right, under his smile was razor wire_.

“Honey, I hope you don’t mind, since tonight is my last night here and Cage wanted to have dinner I invited him.”

“If you had told me—”

“I believe that’s my doing. I knew you wouldn’t show up if I was coming but your mother really wanted to have dinner with you so I asked her not to tell you.” Abby gave Cage a grateful smile, but Clarke knew what it really meant. The waiter came over to take Cage’s order then disappeared again. If the silence earlier had been uncomfortable, this was smothering.

“So, Raven, Clarke tells me you want to work for NASA when you graduate.” Abby took a sip of her wine and Raven flicked her eyes over to Clarke’s. None of them had expected this, expected Cage.

“Uh, yeah, that’s the plan. I did an internship with them this summer and they said I was one of the best mechanics they had.”

“That’s amazing, what are you doing for work until you graduate?”

“I’m working as a mechanic at Sinclair’s, he’s the one who gave me the house.”

“Raven, if you wanted, my father could get you a job at a car dealership as one of the mechanics, it would pay a lot more.” Cage’s tone was cool and Clarke could see the anger radiating off of Raven.

“I’m happy at Sinclair’s.” Raven’s tone was as sweet as honey. Clarke hoped Cage would get a cavity.

“Loyalty, that’s an admirable quality.”

“And one you are so grossly lacking.” Murphy mumbled under his breath but it was still loud enough to where Clarke could hear it so she knew Cage had too. Clarke could also hear Bellamy try to stifle his laugh into his cup.

“I still haven’t heard from the rest of you," Abby said, quickly wanting to change the subject. "Monty, Clarke tells me you’re studying computer engineering. How is it going?”

“It’s going good, I’ve gotten a few job offers even though I still have two years left—”

“He’s being modest, tell her _who_ offered you the jobs.” Jasper interjected and Clarke could see bashful Monty come out.

“It’s not—”

“Monty got offered jobs by Google, Microsoft, _and_ Apple.” Jasper said proudly and all of the Delinquent’s faces lit up. They were all proud of Monty, and the fact that Cage had told Clarke that they were sub-par just the night before and was hearing that her friends were geniuses was just icing on the cake.

“Not mention you, Jasper.” Bellamy finally spoke after sitting back and staying quiet since they sat down.

“Jasper got job offers from DOW Chemical and Exxon.” Monty said. Clarke loved the relationship between the two of them.

“That’s very impressive, congratulations to all of you.” Abby smiled at everyone. “What about you, Bellamy? Do you have any jobs lined up?” Abby turned her attention to him, Clarke knew she was going to poke at him since she introduced him as her date last night.

“I’m currently getting my PhD in history and I plan on teaching at the collegiate level once I’m done.”

“That’s very impressive too, do you have anywhere specific you’d like to teach?”

“For the time being it’ll probably be at Ark University until my little sister graduates.”

“Your little sister, Octavia, right?” Bellamy nodded his head. “I met her last night, she’s quite a force to be reckoned with, like someone else I know.” Abby cut her eyes towards Clarke and Clarke’s mouth twitched up into a little smile.

“No argument there.” Bellamy grabbed Clarke’s hand under the table and smiled at her. Though Clarke could feel Cage's eyes on them as she smiled back.

The food was brought and the conversations halted as they all dug into their food. Despite Clarke still being pissed that her mother invited Cage, the dinner wasn’t going as bad as she expected. As they ate little conversations broke out across the table, one was Abby asking Raven about when she knew she wanted to be a mechanic, Monty and Jasper were in their own little world, but it wasn’t until Cage started talking to Clarke that the chatter died down.

“Clarke, what are your plans while you’re here?”

“Well, I’m going to continue working at the bookstore for now and I might enroll in Ark University for the spring.”

“You would willingly give up your acceptance to Georgetown to go to Ark University?” He seemed appalled.

“As far as I’m concerned there is no difference between Georgetown and Ark U except for the fact that the academia is better here.”

“You can’t be serious—”

“Why do you care?” Murphy had finished eating and was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, glaring at Cage.

“I just mean, no one in their right mind would give up something like that. Not that you would understand.”

“Want to try that again?” Raven had quit eating and was staring at Cage. If looks could kill, Cage would be a small pile of ash.

“Please, I didn’t mean—”

“I know exactly what you meant.” Clarke’s words were clipped. She had been waiting for Cage to slip up like this, and it was even better that her mother was there to see it.

“Honey, I don’t think he meant it that way.” Abby tried easing the rising tension in the room, but it did nothing.

“Oh, I think he did.”

“Clarke, quit being idiotic—”

“Don't talk to her like that.” Bellamy’s voice was low as he addressed Cage. “Clarke may have to be nice to you, but I don’t.”

“I don’t either.” Murphy chimed in as he smiled at Cage.

“No one was talking to you, cockroach.” Cage sneered. Abby seemed shocked by Cage’s remark. _Good_ , Clarke thought. Clarke could see Murphy’s features darken as she stood out of her chair, grabbed her mother’s wine, and threw it in Cage’s face.

“Clarke!” Abby seemed shocked.

“I told you the next time you talked down about my friends I would drag you through the dirt, unfortunately there is no dirt, so I hope you accept this alternative.”

“You fucking—”

“You don’t want to finish that.” Murphy had gotten out of his seat too, as well as everyone else, well, everyone except Cage and Abby.

“Choose your next words _very_ carefully.” Bellamy was standing board straight with his arms crossed over his chest, causing his muscles to strain against his shirt. Clarke had to admit, he looked hot. Cage was glaring at him from across the table.

“Clarke, I’m sorry—” Abby tried to talk but Clarke cut her off and shook her head.

“You seem to be saying that a lot, and I don't want to hear it.” Clarke turned and walked out of the dining room. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, she needed fresh air.

She had wanted to believe that her mother wanted to mend things between the two of them, and maybe she did, but the fact that she invited Cage when she knew that Clarke didn’t want to be around him was something she couldn’t just apologize for. Her mother had seemed horrified at what Cage had said to Murphy, but she didn’t say anything to him. No, she sat there then said something to Clarke when she decided to do something about it. Clarke pushed through the front doors of the hotel and took a deep breath of the cold air. Her friends had come tonight because they wanted to try and get along with her mom, and the night went to shit. It was all her fault for even asking.

“That was fucking beautiful.” Murphy strolled out of the doors behind her, grinning from ear to ear.

“He shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’m sorry I dragged you here.”

“You didn’t drag me anywhere, Clarke, I said I’d come. And damn, I’m glad I did.”

“But what he said—”

“I’ve been called worse.” He moved towards her and threw an arm around her shoulders. “Besides, I’d go through it all again if it meant you’d come to my defense.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

“Right. Where’s everyone else?”

“Cage mumbled something under his breath after you left so Bellamy had to physically hold Raven back from lunging at him, though I’m pretty sure he would have himself, and Monty and Jasper are recording it.” The doors behind them opened and Bellamy walked through with Raven in front of him and both of his hands firmly on her shoulders with Monty and Jasper grinning behind them.

“This was fun, we should do it more often.” Jasper said and Monty nodded his head in agreement.

“I think it’s time for us to go home.” Clarke looked at Bellamy. She could see that he was still angry but he offered Clarke a small smile.

“Home sounds great.”

\---

When they got home Monty and Jasper had to be woken up because somewhere between laughing and watching the video they fell asleep, apparently laughing as much as they had was tiring. Everyone spilled out of Monty’s van and made their way into the house, it seemed that Monty and Jasper weren’t the only tired ones. On the ride back Clarke had kept playing the events over in her head and was getting more and more frustrated until Bellamy had reached over and brought her hand up to his lips, caressing it with his thumb. Now, she felt drained.

Bellamy kept her hand in his as he lead the way to his bedroom and then opened the door for her to go in. He didn’t seem angry anymore, but something seemed to be on his mind. She sank onto his bed then he picked up the shirt she had worn the night before and handed it to her to put on. It smelled like him, and he smelled heavenly. She tugged off her sweater and slipped the shirt on then kicked out of her jeans, deciding to not take off her makeup since she wasn’t wearing much anyway.

She slipped under the covers and hugged a pillow to her chest and when Bellamy finished changing he got into bed too, facing her. Even with him right next to her, she couldn’t keep the tears at bay. She wanted to believe her mom, she really did, because Kane had been right when he said some part of her would always want her mom in her life. Yes, her mom hadn’t really been there when she was growing up, and she wasn’t there when Clarke really needed her, but she was still her mom. Bellamy didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest, letting her cry on him. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her head as she continued to let her emotions out. When she was done she felt a little better, but she also felt bone tired.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice was soft and his touches were even softer.

“I just…I wanted it to work.”

“I know, baby.” He kissed the top of her head.

“And everyone only came because they felt like they needed to, for me.”

“Clarke, we all went tonight because we wanted to, not because we felt like we needed to. We wanted this to work as much as you did, even if your mom isn’t the best person.”

“And then Cage—”

“Cage is a prick and we all already knew that. What happened tonight was something he already had coming.” Bellamy’s voice was firm and she turned her head up to look at him. She knew she probably looked terrible after just crying, but he had seen her cry before.

“I’m still sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, everyone else will say the same.” She leaned up and pressed her lips to his. It was a soft kiss, one that held all of the love she had for him. “Your lips are soft after you cry.” He murmured. She chuckled slightly.

“Thank you for standing up for me tonight.” She started running her fingers along his jawline, feeling his stubble.

“You stood up for us.”

“Yeah, but I figured that, after everything—”

“You’re our family, Clarke, we’ll always stand up for you.” He moved his head back and kissed her fingers. “And what happened tonight isn’t your fault.”

“You say that, but—”

“I mean it. And I will do everything I can to make you believe it.” He grinned at her as he quoted her words back to her and she found herself smiling too. She really does love him. She yawned and he smiled even bigger then kissed her again and tightened his arms around her. “I think it’s time for you to go to sleep.” She mumbled something even she couldn’t make out then let her dreams take her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the biggest chapter I've written for this fic so if there are any spelling/grammar issues then I apologize, I really tried catching them all!
> 
> What do you think is going to happen next? I'm curious!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Bellarke, a little coffee with Raven, and Abby shows up at Clarke's work

When Bellamy wakes up the next day he’s surrounded by golden hair and the smell of apples. Clarke’s head is resting on his chest while her arm is draped across his stomach and their legs are intertwined under the covers. When he checked the clock he saw that he still had a few hours before he had to be on campus and was fixing to let himself fall back asleep when his phone went off. He tried to ignore it but from the amount of texts coming in he knew it was Octavia and if he didn’t answer then she would show up. Bellamy sighed then tried peeling himself out from under Clarke. It took longer than expected but once he was free and made sure she was comfortable he grabbed his phone and went downstairs into the kitchen. He speed-dialed Octavia’s number and she picked up on the first ring.

“Bellamy!”

“What’s so important that you’re blowing my phone up at seven in the morning?”

“We have _a lot_ to talk about! Why did I wake up to a video from Jasper of Clarke pouring wine on Cage? What the fuck happened and why wasn’t I invited?”

“O—”

“Also, I knew the two of you showed up as dates but I had to find out from Raven that the two of you are sleeping together? Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Calm down—”

“Start explaining!” Bellamy sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He needs coffee, and maybe some whiskey.

“When Clarke and I left the gallery the other night we came home and, I told her, O, I told her everything.” Octavia was silent on the other side of the line.

“Bell, _everything,_ everything?”

“Everything, everything.”

“You haven’t told anybody, Raven got it out of me, and—”

“I know. She’s the first one.”

“You love her.”

“Yes, I do.” He knew Octavia wasn’t asking, she probably knew before he did.

“Glad you finally admitted it, now what happened with Cage?” Bellamy laughed. Octavia wasn’t one for heavy conversations.

“Clarke’s mom invited everyone in the house out for dinner—”

“Really?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. So we get to the hotel and things are going fine, a little awkward, then Cage shows up. He had already asked Clarke out to dinner—”

“What the fuck…”

“—She turned him down, then he just happened to be invited to the dinner too—”

“Because that’s totally believable.”

“—And he started acting like Clarke was crazy to decide to transfer to Ark U from Georgetown, he said something stupid, told Clarke to quit being idiotic and when Murphy said something he called him a cockroach so Clarke threw her mother’s wine in his face, but you saw the video.” Octavia started cackling on the other side of the line and Bellamy had to hold the phone away from his ear.

“I think _I’m_ in love with her.”

“Back off, she’s mine.”

“Who exactly is yours?” Bellamy looks over to see Clarke leaning against the door frame with his t-shirt and a pair of his pajama pants on, smirking. The sight stirs something in him, he likes her in his clothes.

“Bell?” Bellamy is brought back to the phone call he forgot he was on.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Tell Clarke I say hi and that I love her for what she did to Cage and that I’ll see her tomorrow. But you, big brother, we have a lot more to talk about.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, O—”

“Go get laid.”

“ _Bye_.” Bellamy hangs up the call smirking and shaking his head, his little sister really was something else. He looks back over at Clarke who hadn’t taken her eyes off of him and, god, did he think she looked beautiful. Bed head and all.

“I missed you.” Clarke murmured as he walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Come back to bed?”

“Ms. Griffin are you trying to get me to play hookie?” He teased, he knew he didn’t have to be on campus for a while.

“I would never, I just want to be the one to have your first lesson today.” She grinned wickedly and he could feel it shoot through his body. He bent down a gave her a quick kiss.

“Okay, but first off, we both need to brush our teeth.” He watched her roll her eyes but he could tell that she knew he was right. She turned around and walked out of his arms, swaying her hips a little more than usual and he laughed and followed her.

\---

After spending her morning with Bellamy, Clarke went to The Secret Garden with Raven to continue their usual tradition of getting coffee before they both had to leave. They were currently sitting at one of the window seats while they split a chocolate muffin and drank their coffee. Neither of them had brought up the night before, but Clarke still thinks it could have all been avoided.

“Raven, I—”

“You don’t need to apologize, we're good. Seeing Cage’s face when you poured the wine on him was fucking spectacular.” Raven smirked.

“How did you—”

“Bellamy told me you feel like it’s your fault, but it isn’t.”

“But if I hadn’t—”

“Clarke, I love you, but if you keep trying to apologize and keep feeling sorry then I’m going to take off my brace and hit you with it.” Despite herself, Clarke laughed. “Besides, Monty and Jasper loved it, the video they got is priceless.”

And just like that, the topic was dropped. They moved on to talk about what they had planned for the costume contest at the Dropship and what they assumed everyone else was going to wear. Apparently Raven was coordinating with Wick and she was going to be a lady Terminator and he was going to be Terminator.

“What’s going on between you and Wick?” Clarke had been meaning to ask but she could never find the right time.

“There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Uh-huh. I see the way the two of you look at each other.” Clarke raised her eyebrows and Raven was silent.

“Well…”

“You like him!”

“Shh! No—it’s—I—”

“Raven, if you like him, and he obviously likes you, then do something about it. You don’t need him to make the first move.”

“I know, but that’s not it.”

“What do you—” Clarke cut herself off, realizing what it was. “You’re talking about Finn.”

“Wick would be the first person I’ve dated.”

“I know it’s scary, Raven, but Wick obviously adores you. I think you should give it a shot.”

“Really?” Raven had been staring down into her coffee but she brought her eyes up to Clarke’s.

“ _Yes_. I think the two of you are a good match. Not to mention that with all of the shit you throw at him he seems to like you even more for it.” Clarke gave Raven a warm smile and she saw the corners of Raven’s mouth twitch upwards.

The rest of their coffee date was lighter and at the end of it Raven pulled Clarke in for a hug, which surprised her, but she hugged her back. Even the strongest people needed someone there for them, including Raven.

\---

Kane was out of the store that day because he had to take his mom to the doctor and Clarke found that she liked being there by herself this time. After all of the events from the night before and spending the morning with Bellamy and Raven she liked having some time to think about things herself. Despite what she wanted to believe, she wanted her mom back in her life but how could they move forward when they just took ten steps back?

Clarke sighed and put her head in her hands. Abby Griffin had planned Clarke’s life and didn’t appreciate that her daughter strayed so far from the decided path. Abby wanted Clarke to become a doctor, Clarke wanted to study art, and while Abby brought up the idea of double majoring, Clarke didn’t like the idea but had to admit, she had a knack for biology. Abby was also still paying for Clarke’s schooling so she didn’t burn through her entire trust fund, but Clarke hadn’t really touched any of the money since she moved, her paycheck from her job was good enough. She was brought of her head when the front door of the store opened, sounding the bells in the back and Clarke straightened up.

“Hi, welcome to Minerva’s Books—mom?” Clarke stared at her mother who was hovering near the front door, obviously wondering if she should just turn around and leave. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you before I left.”

“How did you know where I work?” Clarke asked the question but she was sure she already knew the answer, and when her mother didn’t respond she knew she was right. “Maybe I don’t want to see you.”

“Honey, I know I messed up last night by inviting Cage—”

“That’s a fucking understatement.”

“—But I wanted you to know I truly am sorry, I feel horrible about what happened and even worse that I hadn’t stepped when I know I should’ve.”  _This is a first._ But Clarke still wasn't sure how she should proceed, so she asked something that would determine how the rest of the conversation went.

“Do you still wish Cage and I were together?”

“No. I can see now that you’re far too good for him, I only wish I had seen it before.” Abby sounded sincere, which is something Clarke never really heard coming from her. “I know things will never be perfect between the two of us but I’d like for us to try.”

“I’m not coming back to D.C. with you.”

“I know, and I’ll have to be okay with that. You’re old enough to make your own decisions and I have to respect them even if I don’t particularly agree.” Her mom took a deep breath and walked up to the counter. With the light from the windows shining on her mother’s face she could see all of the fine lines that hadn’t been there a few months ago. “I want you to be happy, Clarke, and I can see that being here makes you happy. I miss you, but I always knew that someday you would grow up and I would have to let you go, but please don’t cut me out of your life, honey. I know I wasn’t the best mom but I want to try. You are my daughter and all I've ever wanted is for you to live the best life you possibly could. You have grown into such a wonderful woman, you're so strong, and I am so proud of you, and I wish your father could be here to see it.” Tears started swelling in her mother’s eyes and Clarke could feel them building in hers too.

She didn’t say anything as Abby moved around the counter and wrapped Clarke up in a hug. This time, Clarke really hugged her back. The last time she hugged her mother like this was the day she found out about her father’s diagnosis, she hadn’t even hugged her the day he died. She held on to her mom like she never had before.  _Maybe they would be okay_.

“I love you, honey.”

“I love you too, mom.” Clarke pulled back and Abby reached out to wipe under her eyes.

“I can tell you’ve found a good family here, after last night I realized how much they mean to you. And I can tell Bellamy treats you how you deserve to be treated; you deserve so much and I think he can give that to you.” Abby smiled and Clarke did too.

“I know he can."

“Good.” Abby patted her cheek. “I have to go or else I’ll miss my flight, but can you be sure to text me back every now and then, just to check in?”

“Sure, mom.”

“And are you still drawing?” Clarke was stunned for a second before she nodded her head.

“My boss actually put these up.” She pointed towards the wall where the pictures she had done of the bookstore were hanging.

“I’m glad, you were always so talented.” Abby turned back to Clarke and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll text you when I land, take care of yourself, honey.”

“I will.” Abby gave her a sad smile then walked towards the front door, but turned around to give her a wave goodbye.

They would have to work at building their relationship, but Clarke could do that if she knew her mom wanted to as well. It would take some time but they could get to a place where they didn't argue when they talked and actually have some sort of mother-daughter bond.  _Yeah, maybe they would be okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a complete turn around from the night before but Abby finally admitted that she messed up and wants to do better (though she shouldn't bring up Jaha at any point lol)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dropship and Clarke gets excited when she drinks...

Now it’s Saturday evening and Clarke is currently sitting in Raven’s room while Octavia does her makeup and Raven does her hair. Octavia had shown up around noon with the white dress she had made and spent the next few hours having Clarke stand in it so she could alter it to fit Clarke’s body how she wanted it to. Clarke had to admit, Octavia had done a _really_ wonderful job on it, it was beautiful. It had a plunging neckline but it still covered what she wanted, there was a high slit on the right side that almost reached to Clarke’s hip but Octavia had shown up with handmade ‘armor’ that kept the dress in place. The armor was golden and was complete with gauntlets, a band that went under her breasts, a cuff for her upper arm, a belt, and shoulder pieces that were connected by a golden chain. Altogether it was a masterpiece.

Octavia had decided to dress up as the Red Queen and was dressed in some sort of ‘battle’ attire that consisted of a sturdy corset that was still surprisingly soft, a red leather vest that went over one shoulder, black pants with a leather holster that was empty, and tall boots, all completed with a large red cape. She looked like something out of a dystopian novel. Raven, on the other hand, was wearing a green crop top, black leather pants, a black leather jacket, now all she needed was a gun. Looking between her two friends she was pretty sure that people would take one look at them and then hide, they both looked intimidating.

“You’re good to go!” Octavia stepped back to admire her handiwork and put her hands on her hips. “Damn, I’m good.” She smirked.

“Good, I’m done too.” Raven turned Clarke towards the mirror and all she could do was stare. Raven had pinned her hair up into an intricate knot with a few strands framing her face, and Octavia had given her a bronze smokey eye, nude lips, and perfect contour; Clarke was pretty sure she could never do this herself.

“Holy shit.” Was all that came out of Clarke’s mouth and the two other girls grinned. 

“My brother is going to love you even more than he already does.” Octavia smirked and Clarke could feel the heat rush to her face.

“Alright, enough gawking we all know you’re gorgeous, let’s go party.” Raven grabbed her heels from the closet and walked towards the door leaving Clarke no other option but to follow her. She took one last look in the mirror before heading out the room. _She wonders what Bellamy is going to think_.

When she gets to the bottom of the stairs Murphy, Wick, and Lincoln are sitting around in the living room pregaming before they have to head out. Murphy decided to dress as the Joker, Lincoln was matching Octavia’s costume with more battle-like attire, they looked like a king and queen getting ready to go to war, and Wick was wearing khaki cargo pants with a gray shirt and a black leather jacket. All of her friends looked badass while Clarke felt like she looked like a barbie doll.

“Wow, Griffin, who would’ve thought that you could actually be pretty.” Murphy teased.

“Don’t you have a stack of money to go burn or a hospital to blow up?”

“Maybe I’ll kidnap the goddess and hold her for ransom instead.” Murphy raised his eyebrows and Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Monty and Jasper needed a ride to the store because they forgot the wigs for their outfits so Bellamy drove them.” Lincoln said from the couch where Octavia had situated herself in his lap and had stolen his drink. “They’ll meet us at the bar.” Clarke felt a stab of disappointment that she’d have to wait until later to see Bellamy’s outfit, since she hadn’t seen him much once Octavia had gotten there, and that she’d have to wait to see his reaction to her outfit.

“I’m ready to get trashed, let’s go!” Raven lead the way out of the house with everyone following behind them.

\--- 

The Dropship was crawling with girls in  _very_ revealing costumes and guys that seemed to not really care about their costumes and were just there for the girls, though some of the guys had pretty good ones. With a quick glance there were about a dozen of girls dressed as Harley Quinn, a few guys dressed as various superheros, and the stereotypical black cats. But Clarke didn’t see anyone else dressed as a goddess, and certainly no one looked nearly as badass as Octavia and Raven.

Everyone made their way to the bar and Murphy ordered shots for everyone to kick off the night properly, before long Octavia was smiling a little too big and dragging Lincoln towards the dance floor and Raven was leaning a little bit more onto Wick as they took down their drinks. Clarke was sitting on a stool next to Murphy when two people—no, Monty and Jasper—came running up to her in red onesies with blue wigs on and shoved a phone in Clarke’s face. _Thing 1 and Thing 2 seemed appropriate for them_.

“The video went viral!” Jasper was grinning from ear to ear. Clarke focused on the video that was pulled up on the phone and realized it was the one of her throwing the wine and Cage’s face, but then again, what other video could it have been? She watched it play and started laughing at Cage’s face with the red wine running down it, Raven was right, the video was priceless; they even got Raven lunging across the table at him and Cage falling backwards in his chair. It had over a hundred thousand views and it’s only been a few days.

“I didn’t know you posted it!” Clarke had to yell into Jasper’s ear over the music.

“We put it on Twitter!”

“I should’ve known, you put everything on Twitter!” Clarke thought back to when they posted a picture someone had gotten of them being hauled back into the house during Monty’s birthday party.

“Now you’re famous!” Jasper was excited and Clarke just smiled back at him. There was a growing uneasiness in Clarke’s stomach but she pushed it away, it was probably just the idea of people recognizing her from the video.

“There’s my goddess.” Bellamy’s breath was hot against her ear as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She turned around to take him in, and god did he look good. He was wearing dark khaki cargo pants, a tan shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and was clutching a dark brown leather jacket in his left hand. _He looked really good_. He let his eyes trail over her and she could feel her body respond, and a slight blush creep onto her cheeks.

“There’s my professor.” She smirked up at him. “Though I don’t have any treasures for you.”

“Oh, I’m looking at one.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, causing her to blush even further. He snaked his hand around her waist and she brought hers up to tangle in the curls at the nape of his neck. It had only been a few hours but she missed him.

“Clarke! Costume contest!” Octavia broke them apart by grabbing Clarke by the wrist and hauling her towards the stage. Clarke turned around and pouted at Bellamy who only smiled and shrugged, picking up the drink she hadn’t finished. But his eyes said they would pick up later.

Once Octavia and Clarke were situated on the stage, Clarke took the time to take in the other contestants. There was Wonder Woman, Cleopatra, a mermaid, Harley Quinn, Cat Woman, her, and Octavia. When the host started talking she turned her gaze towards the crowd, trying to find Bellamy; she hated being the center of attention and she was pretty sure she could hear some whispers saying “that’s the girl from the video” and “she’s the one who threw the wine at Cage”, but she told herself she was just imagining it. _Paranoia_. She went back to surveying the crowd when she caught a glimpse of someone in the back corner of the bar. They were hidden mostly by the shadows but she was sure she knew who it was.

Cage Wallace hadn’t made an effort to dress in a costume, he was in a black button down shirt and slacks, a glass held in his right hand at his side. She didn’t need to see his eyes to know he was looking at her, but when he moved toward the exit the light over it illuminated his face and she realized she had been right. His brown eyes were nearly black and he was looking at her with such malice that it sent a shiver down her spine. There was a little voice in the back of her mind telling her that this was why she had been feeling uneasy earlier. She was pretty sure no one had ever done that to Cage before, and the fact that she had done it then it was posted online wasn’t helping.

She ripped her eyes away from where Cage was standing when Octavia pushed her forward lightly, apparently they were already judging and the host was going off of how loud everyone was for each contestant. She could hear her friends over everyone else and when she looked over she finally found them, Bellamy was giving her a lopsided grin as Murphy pumped his fist in the air next to him. She smiled back at him but when she stepped back into her spot she looked towards the exit where Cage had been standing, but he was gone. Uneasiness grew in her stomach once again but she pushed it down. Everything was fine, he didn’t do anything. She was just letting her imagination get the better of her.

In the end it was Wonder Woman who won the contest and she was given free drinks for the rest of the night, Clarke let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding when her and Octavia finally stepped off the stage and made their way towards their friends.

“You look every bit like the goddess you are.” Bellamy leaned down and kissed her cheek. If he kept up this cheesy flirting Clarke was pretty sure she’d pull him into the bathroom.

“Shots!” Monty, Jasper, and Harper popped up beside the table carrying more shots than they needed for everyone. Clarke took a moment to look at her friends and realized that while Monty and Jasper dressed up as Thing 1 and Thing 2, Harper dressed up as Cat in the Hat and couldn’t suppress her grin. She loves it.

As time goes on Clarke forgets about seeing Cage and the look on his face, but at some point she swears she sees him out the corner of her eye, watching her, but when she looks there's no one there. _It’s probably just her imagination_. She starts dancing with Bellamy, even though she’s never been a very good at it, but he doesn’t seem to mind and she lets her worries go. They started facing each other, their bodies pressed together with her arms around his neck and his hands on her hips. Bellamy can _move_. When the song picks up she turns around, pressing her ass directly into his crotch and looks up at him over her shoulder, a silent challenge. She can see his eyes darken as he snakes an arm around her waist and grips her hip with the other hand. She likes dancing with him.

By midnight everyone was sufficiently drunk, except Bellamy and Murphy, surprisingly, and they all decided to head back home. Clarke had done well enough to not try and jump Bellamy in the middle of the bar but she had to admit, she was keyed up enough to where any little touch from him set her whole body on fire. When they get back to the house, Lincoln sobers up enough to carry Octavia into Clarke’s room, Wick carries Raven to her own room, Murphy and Jasper lean against each other for support, and Monty and Harper stay awake long enough get up the stairs and into Monty’s room. Clarke is swaying on her feet when Bellamy picks her up and carries her into his room.

He sets stands her up while he digs for a clean shirt so she can wear it, muttering about how he keeps forgetting to do laundry, but Clarke feels like she’s going to spontaneously combust if she doesn’t get relief soon.

“ _Bellamy_.” She practically whines his name, causing him to stop his rummaging and turn to look at her. He smirks and makes his way to her, his eyes darkening.

“What do you need, Princess?” He grips her hips and brings her towards him, causing her body to jump alive at his touch and a moan to escape her lips. “You’re really worked up, aren’t you?” He kisses her cheek.

“ _Please_.” She gasps as his lips find her neck. Yep, she’s going to fall apart from the frustration.

“I don’t know, you’ve had a lot to drink tonight and I don’t want to take advantage.” He whispered into her ear and she shuddered.

“I’ve been wanting this since before I drank. Please, Bellamy.” He growls and stops kissing her neck then finds her lips. She moans into his mouth as she pushes off his leather jacket and then gets to work on his shirt. His fingers find their way into her hair, since she took it out of it's knot int he car, and he starts massaging her scalp, like she does for him. When she finishes unbuttoning his shirt she pushes him back towards the bed until he sits down and looks up at her. His mouth slightly parted as he takes her in, his left hand sliding up her leg through the slit in her dress.

“God, you look fucking beautiful.” He leans forward and presses a line of kisses against her leg, traveling higher and higher until he reaches her hip and then starts trailing kisses from one hip to the other. She sighs and leans into his touches, at this point, it’s not going to take long. He starts to travel south but stops and looks up at her, causing her to whimper. “This is like a fantasy I never thought I’d want.” Clarke quirks an eyebrow at him. “I have my very own goddess to please.” He smirks then kisses her through the fabric of her underwear. She’s definitely not going to last.

He moves the fabric aside and kisses her again, this time more forcefully. She threads her fingers through his hair and pulls, she can feel him groan against her then he brings a finger up, sliding it back and forth a little to get it wet before slipping it into her, followed by a second. She knew it was going to be fast when they first started, but she didn’t know it was going to be this fast. She’s teetering on the edge almost immediately as he continues his assault with his tongue and moves his fingers in and out of her. She grips his hair harder with one hand as she comes and uses the other to muffle her sounds. She knows she can be loud when she drinks. When he’s worked her through her come down he kisses her hip then leans back and wipes his mouth off.

“You really were worked up.”

“Mmm…” Clarke has her eyes closed and can only hum in response, all of the tension that had built up was gone and she felt calm. She could hear Bellamy laugh as he stood up and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Bedtime.”

“What about you?” She opens her eyes to look up at him.

“I’m sure you’ll make it up to me.” He smirks down at her.

“But—”

“Bedtime.” He reaches down and grabs her dress then waits for her to put her arms up before tugging it over her head. She doesn’t wait for him to give her a shirt, instead she just crawls into bed with only her underwear on and when she’s fully wrapped up in the blankets she looks over and he’s shaking his head, a smile on his face. “You’re going to kill me.”

She manages a sleepy smile as he kicks off his pants and his shirt and crawls into bed next to her and wraps her up in his arms. She tries reaching over to grab at him but he catches her hand and brings it up to kiss it. She pouts but she knows she’s too tired to put up a fight so she just curls into his side, whispering a promise to take care of him later. He just chuckles and presses a kiss to her head again, telling her to go to sleep.

_But she could have sworn she had something to tell him..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cage has gone into super creeper mode in my opinion...
> 
> Unfortunately I have classes starting back so I probably won't be able to post everyday like I have been doing, but I'm going to try and do my best to get something up a couple times a week!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cage, Thanksgiving, a slight bit of Bellarke at the end (but it's not much, I'm sorry!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I'm being honest, I don't like how I ended the last chapter but I can't change it now lol
> 
> I'm sorry it's taken so long for an update, I ran into a wall and didn't know how to get around it but I decided to write a future chapter and it helped me get things moving again.

Clarke wakes up Sunday without a hangover but she can’t fully remember everything that happened the night before, though she could remember the ending of it. She looked over at Bellamy who was laying on his back, his lips slightly parted with one of his arms thrown over his stomach, he looked gorgeous. Being that attractive should definitely be illegal, it’s unfair to everyone else. She smiled and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead, then his nose, then his cheek, and his bare shoulder. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled lazily.

“’Morning.”

“Hey.” She smiled down at him then leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips then trailed her hand down to his boxers. “It’s later.” Bellamy smiled and it made her heart leap.

“You sure you want to do it now?”

“You have needs, Mr. Blake.” She could see his eyes darken as she move her hand under his waistband.

“Then I’m not stopping you.” He grinned.

\--- 

An hour later Clarke decided to make a run to The Secret Garden before everyone woke up, Bellamy had even fallen back asleep, and she couldn’t figure out what was nagging at the back of her mind. As she walked to the coffee shop she kept replaying the nights events in her head. _Bar, shots, viral video, Bellamy, contest, shots—wait._ Clarke stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and thought back to the contest, she had seen Cage in the back of the room. But that was nothing, right? He hadn’t done anything or said anything, but Clarke could feel the uneasiness coming back. _Does he know about the video? He would have to know, wouldn’t he?_ There’s no way a video with him in it could go viral without him knowing it, but then again, she hadn’t known until Jasper showed her. _Maybe he’s pissed off_. _Maybe he wants revenge_.

Clarke shook her head and continued walking towards the coffee shop, it was nothing. Cage may be an asshole and a dick but she couldn’t see him physically coming after somebody, it wouldn’t fit in with his image. How would the son of Dante Wallace seem if he showed up with a black eye and a busted lip? _Though he could have people do it for him_. Clarke stopped herself. Cage and Dante may be wealthy but this isn’t some action movie, he wouldn’t hire someone to beat another person up, no matter how creepy and shady he may be. _But he’s still powerful_.

Clarke ordered the food and the drinks and sat down at a table in the back corner of the shop. She was overreacting about seeing Cage in the bar last night, it’s not like he was stalking her. The Dropship had been the first place she saw him so of course he was there for costume night, he was still probably pissed off that she dumped the wine on him in the first place. She took a deep breath and her phone went off, it was a text from her mom.

 

 **Mom** : I just got sent a link to a video that was taken the other night, did you know about it?

Clarke’s heart stopped beating.

 **Clarke:** I knew one had been taken

 **Mom:** Did you know it had been posted online?

 **Clarke:** I found out last night

 **Mom:** Tell your friends to take it down

 **Clarke:** Why? It’s not like it’s hurting anything

 **Mom:** Honey, you have to understand that the Wallace’s will not appreciate this kind of attention

 **Clarke:** I doubt Dante even knows how to use Twitter and Cage might be upset for a while but it’s not a big deal

 **Mom:** I don’t expect you to understand, but it would be better for everyone if it was taken down

 **Clarke:** for everyone or for you?

 

Before her mom could answer Clarke was called up to get her order and she decided to not check her phone until she got back home. She should have expected that her mom wouldn’t want a video like that circulating, her daughter threw wine on one the son of one of the most wealthy men in the country. But Clarke didn’t really care, Cage got what he deserved. Of course her mom was in the video but the caption that was put on it pretty much covered her face, so she didn’t have to worry about that. Clarke sighed then shouldered the front door open. It wasn’t a big deal.

\--- 

After everyone was awake and had finished eating Clarke and Raven were cleaning up in the kitchen while Bellamy, Wick, and Lincoln went to the store to get food for lunch, and Octavia, Monty, Harper, Murphy, and Jasper went back to sleep.

“So, I see Wick stayed in your bedroom last night instead of the couch.” Clarke peeks at Raven and can see a slight red tint cross her cheeks. “Did you do what I told you?” Clarke nudges her with her elbow and Raven blushes deeper. “Did Raven Reyes get a boyfriend?” She keeps teasing.

“Okay, yes! Wick and I talked last night and we decided to give it a try. Jeez, you’re worse than Jasper.” Raven tries to go for nonchalant but Clarke can see that the tips of her ears are red and there’s a slight smile on her face. Clarke puts down the dishes and throws her arms around her friend.

“Raven, that’s fantastic! I told you he liked you.” Raven let out a surprised laugh but hugs Clarke back. “I can tell he makes you happy.” Raven pulls away and they smile at each other.

“Yeah, he does.” Raven turns back to the dishes and Clarke can’t help but notice the soft smile that’s still on her friends face. She doesn’t think she’s seen Raven look happy like that since she got here, but god she’s happy for her.

After the two of them finish cleaning Clarke decides to throw herself onto the couch with her sketchbook. She’s always found drawing to be a perfect distraction and after the conversation with her mom that morning she could use one. She starts off by doing some thumbnail sketches but soon Octavia’s face is filling up the page with her hair pulled back and warpaint on her face with the hilt of a sword peeking over her shoulder. She moves to the next page and starts to draw Raven with a space suit on and surrounded by a backdrop of stars. She was starting on the Corvus constellation when her phone went off with a text message.

She looks at who it’s from but it’s an unknown number with _Attachment: 2 Images_. Clarke opens the messages and her blood runs cold. The first picture is of her and her mom inside Minerva’s Books and the second picture is of her in the bar last night and she was laughing at something Bellamy had said. Then a third message popped up with a picture of her walking home from The Secret Garden that morning.

 _You’re not as safe as you may think_  

There was only one person who it could be from, Cage. Sending her these messages isn’t very subtle, but she guesses that he wasn’t really going for that. He wants her to know that he’s angry with her, and that he’s stalking her apparently. The front door opens and the boys pour into the house so Clarke quickly exits out of the messages and contemplates deleting them but something in the back of her mind is telling her to keep them, that she might need them; even though she can’t turn Cage into the authorities for this.

She looks up and Bellamy locks eyes with her, smiling. Seeing him causes the uneasiness in her chest to melt away. Cage’s idle threat wasn’t going to get to her, she had nothing to worry about. He was just throwing a little fit because she humiliated and embarrassed him and now it was a viral video that people were probably going to forget about in a month.

“That’s really good.” Lincoln popped up behind the couch causing Clarke to jump. He was looking down at the sketch she had done of Octavia.

“Thank you, I based it off of the costumes from last night.”

“It’s great, could you paint it for me? I’ll buy it.”

“Really?” Clarke couldn’t believe that Lincoln was asking for a commission.

“Yeah, really, I’d love to have it.”

“Okay, what do you have in mind?”

And with that, the thoughts of Cage’s texts went out of Clarke’s mind as her and Lincoln talked about the painting. There was nothing she needed to worry about, because Cage wasn’t one to get his hands dirty. _Or was he?_ Before long, everyone was praising Clarke for her sketches and Raven even said that she wanted to frame the one of her and Clarke didn’t think about what her mom had said or what Cage had sent. It wasn’t worth the trouble. Everything was going to be fine.

\--- 

The next few weeks go by without any other word from Cage and the only interaction Clarke has with her mother is when Clarke sends a text or a picture to check-in and Abby sends back a heart or a ‘that’s great, honey’. When Thanksgiving rolls around, everyone is wondering if they should stay in and eat or if they should go out (since apparently Thanksgiving dinner isn’t Bellamy’s strongest point), but Kane invites everyone to his house along with Octavia, Lincoln, and Sinclair.

When they all pull up to Kane’s house, Clarke is surprised that it’s a lot bigger than she expected. It kind of reminds her of her parents house back in D.C., though it’s less ostentatious and more anteblleum-esque. Everyone piles into the house where Kane, Sinclair, and Kane’s mother are all bustling about in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the food. Vera Kane, Clarke learns, is a soft-spoken woman that seems to consider all of the Delinquents her grandchildren, even her and Lincoln.

It turns out that Sinclair and Kane met a long time ago and lost touch but reconnected when they both had to help fix up the house a few years back, and Vera met everyone through Kane, Bellamy, and Octavia. At first Clarke thought the relationships were complicated, but now she realizes that in the end everyone here is family and while Kane doesn’t have any kids of his own, he practically raised Bellamy and Octavia and when Bellamy moved into the house, he adopted all of the other Delinquents too. Same goes for Sinclair, Raven is his family and over time everyone else became his family too. It’s all simple.

“Sinclair! This is Clarke.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Raven’s told me a lot about you.” Sinclair’s smile was warm, Clarke liked him immediately.

“Same thing for you, I love the house.” She reached out and shook Sinclair’s offered hand.

“Glad to hear it.”

“Don’t hog the girl.” Vera pushed her way past Sinclair who only chuckled and turned back to give Raven a hug. “Hi, darling, I’m Vera.” Clarke was brought into a bone crushing hug. “It’s wonderful to meet the girl who’s captured Bellamy’s heart.” When Clarke pulled away she could feel herself blushing.

“Don’t embarrass her, mom.” Kane was carrying the turkey into the dining room but gave his mother a pointed look. “She just got here.”

Vera rolled her eyes at her son but gave Clarke a smile and lead her into the dining room. “Don’t mind me, I’m just happy that he’s finally happy.”

“I am too.” Clarke brought her eyes up to Bellamy’s who gave her a lazy smile. _Yeah, she’s really happy_.

After everyone was situated around the table they all began digging into their food while stories got shared, but Clarke knew it was only a matter of time before the conversations moved towards her. But she learned that Sinclair had met Raven when she was sixteen and was immediately impressed at the fact she could take an engine apart, clean it, and put it back together, and Kane said that Bellamy and Octavia were two of the most rebellious kids he had ever met and while they got on his nerves at first, he learned to love them for it.

“What about you, Clarke, what’s your family like?” Sinclair asked.

“My mom is a surgeon and my dad was an engineer, things were good—”

“And now she has us.” Raven touched her foot to Clarke’s under the table and gave her a reassuring smile.

“And now I have everyone here.” Clarke smiled back. “I love Arkadia.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Kane smiled at her now from the head of the table.  “Are you planning on continuing your schooling down here?”

“Yeah, I am, actually,” Clarke looked around the table. _There’s no time like the present_. “I applied to Ark U for the spring and I just got accepted.”

“Really?” Jasper’s eyes went wide.

“Congrats!” Monty smiled at her.

“We all knew you would, it’s not that big of a deal.” Murphy drawled from beside Raven but he was smirking at Clarke who just stuck her tongue out.

“We are going to have to show you everywhere around campus.” Octavia looked really excited.

“That’s great, what are you studying?” Vera was at the other end of the table so Clarke had to lean over a little to look at her.

“Well, as of right now I’m still double majoring in biology and art, but I’m not sure if I want to drop down to one or not.”

“Oh that’s right, Kane has shown me some of your drawings, they’re really good.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled at the older lady.

“I could get you into the art gallery here in town, Mountain Men Gallery, if you want.” Clarke’s blood ran cold. She knew Vera was only trying to help but the idea of having to be in a place owned by Dante Wallace and the possibility of running into him and his son sent chills down her spine.

“Oh, I appreciate the offer but—”

“It’s okay, dear, if you change your mind you just let me know.” Vera smiled at her and Clarke let out a sigh of relief.

The rest of the dinner went by without any more questions about Clarke and her family, but she couldn’t help but wonder about how this time last year she had been home, she had been with Wells, and her father was alive. Her father had cooked while her and Wells played in the snow that had fallen the night before. She was happy then, but she was also happy now. Though the thought of her father and Wells sent a pain through her chest. She felt a hand come to rest on her knee and reached down to lace her fingers with Bellamy’s. She looked over and offered him a small smile and he returned it, squeezing her fingers in return. _She was okay_. Her attention got torn away from him when she felt her phone start buzzing in her pocket, she fished it out and saw _Mom_ flash across the screen. Apologizing, she got up and walked out of the room to take the call.

“Hey, mom. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, honey. How is your day going?”

“Great, we all got invited to my boss’s house. You?”

“It’s good, though I wish you had come.”

“You know why—”

“I know,” She could hear her mom sigh on the other end of the line. “I was just calling to see how you were doing but it seems that I didn’t need to worry.”

“I’m glad you called, mom.”

“Me too, honey,” It sounded like her mom was about to say something but a muffled male voice came from the other end and Clarke tensed.

“I guess I’ll let you go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, love you, tell everyone I say him.”

“Will do, love you too mom.”

When they hung up Clarke felt a slight hint of disappointment. Of course her mother was with Jaha today, why wouldn’t she be? It was something Clarke expected but she guessed that some part of her didn’t want it to be true. Even if the two of them were trying to work on their relationship, the idea of her mom and Jaha still sent anger coursing through her body. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair when her phone started buzzing with another call. _Private Number_ flashed across the screen. _Cage_ , she thought.

“Everything okay?” Bellamy’s voice made her jump but she turned around and smiled at him.

“Yeah, it was just my mom wanting to say Happy Thanksgiving.”

“You sure everything’s okay?” Bellamy walked forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer

“I am now.” She smiled up at him and stood on her toes to give him a kiss.

“Good, because it’s time for dessert.” He grinned down at her and her heart melted. She loved his smile.

Clarke let Bellamy guide her into the living room where everyone decided to gather and watch movies. Monty handed her a plate with a slice of apple pie and she curled into Bellamy’s side on the couch. Over the past few weeks the two of them had gotten closer and now they either slept in his room or her room and they still continued their lunch dates, but every now and then others would join them and Clarke liked how things were going. Despite her initial worries about moving, things had worked out; even if the whole Cage thing was still a little unnerving. _She has to tell them_. _But what if Bellamy doesn’t leave it alone? What if none of them do?_

Clarke shakes her head to try and clear her thoughts. She knows that she’s going to have to tell them at some point, but not today. Not right now. She may think that Cage won’t do anything, but what if he does? Bellamy’s laugh brings her out of her head and she turns up to look at him. He’s laughing at something Raven said but Clarke can feel eyes on her. She looks over to see Murphy draped across Kane’s armchair, gazing at her with a look that tells Clarke he knows something is on her mind. He quirks an eyebrow at her and she tilts her head, a way of saying _later_ and lets his gaze linger on her for a beat before turning to Monty and Jasper. _Yeah, she was going to have to tell them_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I jumped ahead a few weeks but it's safe to assume that Clarke still has coffee with Raven and plays video games with Jasper and Monty, and they all still have movie marathon night, the only difference being that now Clarke and Bellamy are a little more affectionate! (Though they still haven't said a certain three words to each other...)
> 
> Promise I'll have more banter and Bellarke moments moving forward!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tells everyone about Cage
> 
> I haven’t proofread this so if there’s a lot of mistakes then I apologize!

“Spill it.”

“What?” While everyone else decided to follow Kane and Sinclair outside to start a fire, Clarke had offered to help Vera clean up in the kitchen and was surprised when Murphy offered too. He barely cleaned up at their house.

“We both know what.” Of course, Murphy couldn’t have waited until they got home to ask her what she had been thinking about.

“Seriously? Right now?” Clarke dropped her voice and looked over her shoulder, Vera was still in the kitchen.

“What do you think?” Murphy raised an eyebrow at her and she sighed.

“Cage—”

“Wait, drinks.” Before Clarke could protest Murphy disappeared from the room but reappeared within seconds with two bottles of Blue Moon. If she was going to bring this up, then she should have a drink.

“My mom texted me a few weeks ago saying I needed to get the video taken down of me throwing the wine on him because ‘the Wallace’s _will not appreciate this kind of attention_ ’ and ‘ _it would be better for everyone_ ’ and Cage sent me some texts after that saying ‘ _you’re not as safe as you may think_ ’.”

“He _what_?” Clarke could see Murphy’s hand tighten around the neck of the bottle. “Do you still have them?” Clarke pulled out her phone and found the pictures that Cage had sent her, well, that an _unknown number_ had sent her, but Murphy didn’t comment on that part. “Has he said anything else?”

“I got a call earlier after I hung up with my mom from a _Private Number_ but I’m pretty sure it was him.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell us?”

“Because it’s just an idle threat, it’s nothing to worry about!”

“You don’t know that, Clarke, the guy’s a fucking psycho!”

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Raven appeared in the doorway with a questioning look and one of her eyebrows raised.

“You want to tell her or should I?” Murphy was more upset than Clarke had ever seen him. _Surely he was overreacting?_

“Tell her what?” Monty appeared beside Raven with Jasper behind him. _This wasn’t how she saw this going_. Clarke sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I’ll tell everyone just—”

“Oh, good, we’re almost done cleaning would everyone mind helping with the last bit?” Vera walked up behind everyone and they all looked from her to Clarke then shrugged and picked up what was left in the dining room, but the tension was there.

After they had effectively rinsed off the dishes and Vera cleared them to head outside, Clarke was suddenly surrounded by Raven, Monty, and Jasper who were followed by an irritated Murphy and a confused pair of Blakes and Lincoln. Clarke had thought about telling everyone in a different way, waited until everyone was calm and they were bonding over s’mores or something, but with Murphy being irritated, and _really_ irritated, everyone was more attentive. 

“Alright, Griffin, what’s up?” Raven was sitting on a stump with her leg out in front of her but even though she looked relaxed, her gaze was steady. Clarke ran through what she had told Murphy, which didn’t take long, she had a quick chance to register the look on everyone’s faces before they erupted. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“We could’ve taken the video down.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“What a fucking creep.”

“He’s crazy.”

“Like I said, fucking psycho.”

The only person who hadn’t said anything was Bellamy. He was next to her, still staring into the fire with his arms crossed against his chest and tension radiating from him. Clarke felt a pull at the back of her heart. _She had hurt him_.

“If he comes near you, I’ll fucking kill him.” Bellamy’s voice was low, low enough to where Clarke was sure she was the only one who heard him while everyone else talked to each other about what happened. He turned to Clarke, his brown eyes seemed to be on fire, but it was only the lighting. “Why didn’t you _tell me_?” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal.” She could see the hurt in his eyes, and she was sure his pain was reflected in hers because he sighed and reached up to cup her face.

“If anything happens to you—”

“It won’t, I promise.”

“But how do you _know_ that?” It was Raven who spoke and Clarke turned to the rest of her friends.

“Because I know Cage’s type, all bark and no bite, he’d be worried he’d break a nail.” Jasper let out a slight laugh and Octavia jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. 

“Clarke, I wouldn’t take this lightly.” Lincoln’s voice was serious. “I’ve been around him more since my opening night and the way he treats people…it’s disturbing.”

“I also figured that since his dad knows my mom he would know better than to try something.” Clarke could see now that her way of looking at things was naïve, but she didn’t want to tell them that.

“Have you seen him at all?” Raven was looking at her how she usually looked at her computer screen when she was trying to figure out a certain equation.

“No, well, not exactly—”

“Come on, Griffin, use your words.” Murphy’s tone was still slightly agitated but Clarke could tell he had calmed down.

“I can walk down the street and think I see something out of the corner of my eye but when I look nothing is there. But, I’m pretty sure that’s just my imagination.”

“You said he sent you pictures, where are they?” Clarke fished her phone out of her pocket and opened the thread of messages then handed the phone to Monty.

“I don’t think you should be walking alone anymore.”

“Bell—”

“I agree with Bellamy, at least until we can trace this number.” Monty was staring down at Clarke’s phone.

“Seriously guys—”

“No arguments, we can’t just assume that Cage won’t do anything.” Raven’s tone was not to be argued with so Clarke just sighed and threw up her hands in surrender.

“Fine, but it’s been almost a month and nothing has happened.”

“Except for the fact that he called you today.” Octavia chimed in.

“We don’t know for sure that it was him calling.”

“Who else calls from a private number?”

“O is right, that can’t be a coincidence.” Bellamy moved closer to Clarke and wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her closer. “I think we’d all rather be safe than sorry.”

“Damn right.”

“If you guys think it’s necessary then knock yourselves out, I won’t fight you on it.” Clarke looked around at her friends who were all very serious. “But I’m more than capable of handling myself.” She could feel Bellamy chuckle slightly beside her and he leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

“No one said you weren’t, Princess.”

“Alright, s’more time!” Jasper pulled a bag of marshmallows from some where and the tense atmosphere that had been there disappeared as everyone gathered around the fire to start roasting them.

For the rest of the night everyone seemed to have almost forgotten about the earlier conversation but Bellamy seemed to be holding onto her a little bit tighter and Raven was sitting a little bit closer, like they expected Cage to pop out from behind a bush and charge at her. She felt a rush of affection for the people sitting around her, and briefly wondered if she should tell her mom. But what good would come of that? Her mother couldn’t do anything, it wasn’t like she was a little kid and her mom could just talk to Cage’s dad, and she doubted that her mother would actually believe her if she tried to tell her.

“I can see your gears turning.” Raven nudged her slightly with her elbow.

“I was just wondering if I should tell my mom.”

“Think she’d believe you?”

“No idea. But she did tell me that the Wallace’s wouldn’t’ve liked the video being up, I’m wondering if she thought something might happen.” Clarke glanced over at Monty and Jasper who were looking at her, slight frowns on their faces.

“I’m sorry we put the video up, Clarke.”

“If we’d known—”

“It’s not your fault, guys.” She gave them a reassuring smile. “I like the video and I don’t care that you put it up, if Cage were to try and get back at me it would be because I did it in the first place, not because of the video. Okay?” The two of them nodded their heads and went back to their conversations but Clarke could tell that they didn’t fully believe her. When they originally told her that the video had gone viral uneasiness did pool in her stomach but that had long since faded. If anything did happen it wouldn’t be anyone’s fault but hers.

A little after midnight everyone was starting to fall asleep around the fire despite the drop in the temperature and Kane said that he had prepared the guest bedrooms and the living room for everyone, then he turned in for the night. Slowly, others followed him inside until it was just Clarke and Murphy left around the fire since Bellamy offered to help Raven up the stairs. 

“Spit it out, Murphy.”

“I’m not going to apologize for getting upset—”

“Didn’t expect you to.”

“—But I do think it’s a good idea that you’re going to let us help.”

“Aw, Murphy, does this mean you really do care for me?”

“You know what, I take everything back.” Murphy pushed off his log to begin making his way back to the house and Clarke shot up after him. 

“Admit it, Murphy, you know you do.” She smiled up at him and she could see the corners of his lips pull up.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Murphy let himself smile then slung an arm over her shoulder. 

“But you do.”

“Hurry up and get inside, it’s freezing out here!” Bellamy’s voice carried over the lawn and Clarke could see him silhouetted against the porch.

“It’s okay, I know you love me.”

“God, you’re annoying.”

Clarke smiled as she and Murphy made their way to the house. She knows Murphy cares about her, and she vaguely remembers saying that she loved him and him saying that the feeling was mutual, but she likes teasing him about it since he would never outright say it. He wasn’t like her bother exactly, not like how Wells had been, but he was family. When they reached the porch Murphy moved her into Bellamy and mutter something like _‘she’s too annoying’_ and then promptly fell onto the couch and passed out.

As the two of them settled into the bed that night she thought back to the look in his eyes when he asked her why she didn’t tell him and her chest hurt. She turned over in his arms and he opened his eyes, he was obviously exhausted. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you.” She murmured as she traced his jaw with her fingers.

“It’s okay.” He moved his head so he could kiss the tips of her fingers. “But promise me that from now on we’ll tell each other everything. Deal?” 

“Deal.” She smiled then leaned over to kiss him. It was a soft kiss that held all of her love for him, even if she hadn’t told him. The thought hit her, she hadn’t told him that she loves him even though she’s been trying for a while. Any time she wanted to tell him the words would get caught in her throat and suddenly it didn’t seem like the right time. _She could tell him now_. She looked up and his eyes were closed, but she let her fingers travel through his hair.

“I love you.”

\---

Bellamy had a dream that Clarke was running her fingers through his hair and whispered _I love you_ into the space between them, though he could’ve sworn it was real. He forced himself awake but Clarke was wrapped in his arms, asleep. It had been weeks since he first heard her say the words in her sleep, but he still knew he should give her time. Though this wasn’t the first time he dreamed about her saying the words again. He gazed at her small figure in his arms and leaned forward to press a light kiss to her forehead. She looked so peaceful. She stirred a little and he froze, wondering if he’d woken her, but she just nestled into his chest even more and he tightened his arms around her.

 

He loves her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next update will be (hopefully I can get one up tomorrow) but I'll try my best to make sure I still post somewhat regularly!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Bellamy perspective
> 
> I'm sorry it's short and I haven't had time to proofread it so if there's any mistakes then I apologize!

Bellamy wakes up before the sun rises the next day and the first thing that settles into his mind is what Clarke told him about Cage. The fact that she hadn’t told him sooner still irked him but he understood that she had her reasons, even if he (or anybody else for that matter) didn’t agree with her. He sighs inwardly and then pushes himself out of the bed. _He’s not going back to sleep_. He makes his way downstairs and finds that he can still operate the coffee maker in the dark and decides to perch on top of the counter with his head resting against the cabinets, but despite his best efforts his mind drifts to Cage. _He wouldn’t do all of this unless he has something planned._

He remembers something the Miller told him a little over a year ago about how there was an investigation into some of Cage’s dealings, something about a girl claiming he was doing tests on her against her will, but the cops didn’t find anything and the girl was put in a psychiatric facility then everything was dropped. When Miller first told him Bellamy didn’t have trouble believing that Cage could do something like that, and Miller agreed. Then there’s the whole deal of Lincoln saying that the way Cage treats people is disturbing. _There’s something going on_.

“I see you still get up before the sun.” Bellamy is snapped out of his thoughts by Kane entering the kitchen.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Anything wrong?” Bellamy couldn’t see much of Kane but he could tell the older man looked concerned.

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah, well…” Bellamy trailed off. _Does he really want to tell him?_

“Is it about Cage Wallace?”

“Why would you think that?”

“I’ve noticed him around town more lately, nothing major though.” Kane busied himself pouring a cup of coffee and Bellamy could only blink. _Maybe Clarke was seeing someone out the corner of her eyes_. Kane poured a second cup and handed it to Bellamy. “I’m assuming there’s a reason why.”

“Yeah, there is.” Bellamy sighed. _Hopefully Clarke won’t be upset_. “Clarke’s family is friends with the Wallaces and when her mom was in town she took us all out to dinner.”

“I remember Clarke mentioning that.”

“Well, Cage showed up and he said something really fucking terrible to Murphy so Clarke dumped her mom’s wine on him.”

“She did _what_?” Kane’s sounded shocked and like he was trying not to laugh.

“Yep, and then an unknown number sent her pictures saying ‘ _you’re not as safe as you may think_ ’, which makes her think it’s Cage, and she also said that she feels like she’s been seeing him around town but whenever she tries to get a better look no one is there.”

“And I don’t suppose you think it’s just coincidence, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” Kane sighed and leaned against the counter across from Bellamy. The light coming in from the windows was brighter now and Bellamy could see his face more clearly, he looked like a concerned father.

“So what are you all going to do about it?”

“I have no idea.” It was Bellamy’s turn to sigh. _What were they going to do?_ “I think Monty is going to try and trace the phone number and we decided last night that she shouldn’t walk anywhere by herself. But—”

“But that’s not something that can be done every day for who knows how long.”

“Yeah.”

“Does her mom know?"

“No, I think Clarke believes her mother won’t listen to her. But her mom did tell her to take the video down, said that the Wallaces wouldn’t like the attention.”

“Hm…”

“What?”

“If her mother believed that something might happen because of the video then I think it’s worth telling her. Nothing good ever comes out of keeping things from others, especially those you love.”

“I agree with that.” Bellamy finished off his coffee. “Do you think there’s anything else we should do?”

“Well with a number you can’t trace back to anyone and no definitive proof that it’s Cage stalking her then there’s not much else you can do. But I’ll keep my eyes out for him and help Clarke while she’s at work.”

“Really?”

“What is family for?”

“Thank you.” Bellamy smiled.

“No need for thanks, I want Clarke safe too. And I never particularly liked Cage.”

“Did anyone?”

Before Kane could respond a phone started ringing from the top of the refrigerator and Bellamy reached up to find it. His hand grabbed onto it and when he looked at it, he realized it was Clarke’s. _What is her phone doing on top of the fridge?_ The person calling was Abby, a picture of her and Clarke smiling lit up the screen.

“It’s her mom.”

“Are you going to answer it?”

“I don’t know if I should—”

“I’ll leave you alone.” Was the last thing Kane said before he left. Bellamy’s finger hovered over the bar that would answer the call. _What’s the worst that could happen?_ He answered the call.

“Clarke! I’ve been trying to reach you, what do you think about—”

“It’s me, Mrs. Griffin, Bellamy.”

“Oh, hi, Bellamy, and please call me Abby. Is Clarke there?”

“No ma’am, she’s still asleep. It’s almost seven here.”

“Oh the time difference, I completely forgot.”

“It’s fine, do you want me to wake her up?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll just make sure to call at a later hour.” Bellamy opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure if he should bring up the Cage deal or not. “Is there something on your mind?”

“Ma’am?”

“I don’t mean to overstep my bounds, you just seem distracted.”

“Well, it’s sort of about the dinner.”

“Has Cage done something?”

“Mrs. Griff—Abby, I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you. But why did you assume Cage?”

“Am I wrong?”

“No—”

“Then a gut feeling.” Bellamy could hear Abby sigh at the end of the line. “I have to go because I have a patient but please get Clarke to call me, I know the Wallaces have a reputation and not all of it is good."  _Does she know about the accusation of Cage doing human testing?_

“Did you know about the human testing?” There was a pause.

“Unfortunately, yes. Dante asked me for a doctor recommendation for the girl who accused Cage, said that he felt bad for her and wanted to make sure she got the best care possible.”

“Abby, you can’t be serious—”

“I know how it sounds, I wasn’t in any position to refuse, but I check in on the girl from time to time and she’s doing fine. The doctor is one of my good friends and I can assure you that nothing sinister is happening.” There was some noise in the background that Bellamy couldn’t make out before Abby started talking again. “I have a patient so I have to go, but please try and persuade Clarke to talk to me. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Yes ma’am, have a good day.”

“You too.” 

When Abby ended the call Bellamy let his hand fall into his lap and leaned his head against the counter. Abby obviously knew more than Clarke expected, and he wanted to know what exactly she did know. And, if she had known about some of those things, why would she still try to get Clarke together with him? Did she really care more about status than her own daughter’s safety? _Not anymore_. The little voice in the back of his head was right. At one point Abby may have turned a blind eye to what Cage was doing but it was obvious now that she didn’t want Clarke to have anything to do with him. _But can a person really change that much?_

Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair. This was all a little too much for so early in the morning. He hopped off the counter and tried to steer his thoughts away from Cage and anything having to do with him. Dwelling on something like that this early wasn’t going to do any good for his mood throughout the day. _Maybe he had time to go back to sleep_. He started up the stairs, careful to avoid the creaky spots he remembered, then pushed into the bedroom. Despite the sun beginning to come up the curtains blocked out most of the light and Clarke was right where he left her, he smiled. She looked beautiful even when she drooled. He slid into bed and she immediately turned around and curled into him which made him smile even more. _Everything will be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short but I liked putting more of Bellamy's perspective into the story!
> 
> So, my s/o thinks it weird that I'm writing Bellarke fanfic lol but I'm going to make sure this gets finished even if it takes a little longer than what I originally thought
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's first week back to work after Thanksgiving and after everyone decided they needed to watch after her...and a nightmare
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long for an update! But I'm going to try and get an update up once a week, I'm just not sure if I'll have a set day of the week yet (but if I had to guess maybe Friday?)

The following week when everyone goes back to class and Clarke goes back to work, she always has someone with her. Monday morning her and Raven continue their coffee ritual, Tuesday Raven gets called to campus early because of some group project (and she keeps muttering about how this new guy, Zeke, is arrogant and a know-it-all and she’s considering welding him to the roof of the school as payback) so Monty and Jasper both walk with her and try to convince her to play the old Resident Evil video game, Wednesday even Miller shows up to walk her to work and even though he’s quiet Clarke finds that it’s not awkward and she’s even touched that he offered to help. Now it’s Thursday and Clarke is sitting across from Octavia in the bookstore before she’s supposed to open.

“This is like playing a fun hiding game.”

“Except we’re hiding from a psychopath.”

“Still fun though.” Octavia is curled up in one of the armchairs with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and pillows stuffed all around her. Clarke wanted to be surrounded by pillows too, but her chair wasn’t big enough so she settled for a few extra blankets.

“I haven’t seen him all week, maybe we scared him away.”

“I wouldn’t count on that, he’s probably gotten better at hiding and just wants us to think he’s left you alone so we’ll stop hanging out with you and then he’ll come back full force.”

“It just seems like a lot of trouble to go through just because I poured wine on him.”

“Guys like him have a big ego, Clarke, you probably destroyed his.”

“But it’s still so much work.”

“Maybe he has nothing else to do, Lincoln says he hasn’t seen him around lately.”

“How is everything with Lincoln and his business?”

For the next half hour Clarke listens to Octavia talk about Lincoln’s business and how he’s been getting more clients since the opening night. Clarke knew that having your work in Mountain Men Gallery was great for business, but she didn’t realize just _how_ great it was. Eventually their conversations moved on to Octavia’s schooling and how she was kind of dreading having Bellamy as the TA for one of her upcoming history classes.

“I can already tell that he’s going to be a pain in the ass.”

“At least you already know much of what he’s teaching.”

“True, but if he tries to put me on the spot we’re going to fight.”

“Roman history is your thing, it’ll be fine. And if he does put you on the spot then you know you’ll have an answer. I’d love to be a fly on the wall in that class.”

“I guess. Maybe it won’t be so bad, but I’m definitely bringing you to one of my classes.”

“We’ll see,” Clarke chuckles at the idea of seeing Bellamy’s face when his girlfriend and little sister walk in, “but, hey, you only have a year and a half until you’re in law school so you can do it.” Octavia’s smile grew wide.

“Hell yeah I can.”

All too soon Octavia is leaving for class and Clarke is opening the shop and waiting for Kane to show up. Though no one’s told her, she’s pretty sure Kane is watching out for her too and keeping an eye out for Cage. Against her better judgement Clarke goes to the window and looks out, there’s not a lot of people out right now which is understandable considering the weather has dropped significantly since last week and Clarke can already taste the rain storm that’s coming their way. _Maybe if they’re lucky they’ll get some snow_. Clarke sighs and returns to the chair she had been sitting in, still warm.

She remembers back on a conversation she had with her mother a week earlier, about how she doesn’t trust Cage and wanted to know if there was anything Clarke wanted to tell her, so Clarke told her about the text messages and the calls and, surprisingly, her mother didn’t seem surprised. Abby didn’t try defending him, or telling Clarke that she brought this on herself, she just took a deep breath and said that she was going to find a way to keep tabs on where Cage was going and what he was doing and if anything happens then she’ll make sure to have Clarke on the first plane out of Arkadia and to wherever she wants to go to wait for everything to blow over.

Clarke was happy that her mom was on her side and hadn’t seemed to go back on her word that she didn’t want Clarke with Cage anymore. Clarke pulled out her phone and took a screenshot of an email she received a little over a week ago and sent it to her mom. “ _Congratulations, you’ve been accepted!”_ filled up her screen and she smiled. She was going to start classes in the spring and she was wondering if her mother would be okay with her dropping biology, though Clarke knew that was her best subject. Clarke’s phone buzzes. 

_Congrats, honey! I’m happy for you :)_  
Are you at work?  
  
_Yeah, why?_   
  
_Just wondering! Be safe, love you_  
  
_You too, mom_

Kane calls about an hour later saying that he’s running late because his car decided that it didn’t want to run in the freezing weather and as soon as Clarke puts the phone down the bell rings from the door opening.

“Hi, welcome to Minerva’s books, can I help you?”

“Yeah I have a delivery for Clarke Griffin?”

“You do?”

“Yep, got ordered a little over an hour ago.” The delivery guy is bundled up tightly and he’s holding a box in his left hand. “If you could just sign here, please.”

Clarke signs the pad and then takes the box from the delivery guy and with one last wave he’s out the door. She couldn’t imagine having to make a delivery on such a cold day like this, but her thoughts are overrun by her curiosity of what’s in the box. When Clarke opens it she’s greeted with real, snow white roses and golden, foil wrapped chocolate roses, and there seems to be about two dozen of each. Of course her mother would do this, though Clarke is somewhat surprised that her mother remembers how much she used to love chocolate roses.

After finding an empty vase to put her flowers in, Clarke spends the rest of her morning picking through the chocolate and tidying up the shop, though there’s not much to tidy up after you’ve already done that twice. Usually days like this aren’t so bad but Kane usually isn’t far away if she decides she wants to have a conversation, and her friends all in class so she’s not going to text them. She settles on reading _The Iliad_ while perched on top of the counter and she smiles when she remembers that’s how she first met Octavia. Another thirty minutes pass and Kane calls telling Clarke that the storm seems like it’s going to be severe and he’d feel better if she would lock up and head home, and he also told her he ordered her an Uber and it should be there in ten minutes. She knew Kane probably felt bad for having her open in such cold conditions and for her being by herself for so long, but she felt weird accepting the Uber. She could’ve just walked or called her own Uber, but she thanks him nonetheless. 

When Clarke gets home she places her flowers on her desk and throws herself in bed. The only person home right now is Murphy but he’s asleep and everyone else won’t be back until later. Clarke can feel herself beginning to fall asleep so she pulls out her phone and sends a quick text.

**The Delinquents**

**Clarke:** Kane let me go early, so if anyone decided that they wanted to stop by the bookstore then don’t worry about it

**Raven:** it’s too cold to be out anyway

**Bellamy:** There’s talk about classes being cancelled

**Jasper:** I don’t think we’ll be that lucky

**Monty:** the colleges around us have already closed

**Raven:** I agree with googles, we won’t be that lucky

**Clarke:** I heard there’s a storm coming, do I need to come pick anyone up?

**Bellamy:** We’ll be fine, Princess, go to sleep

Clarke smiles and as her eyes close she gets another text.

**History God**

_Mind if I come get in bed with you when I get back?_  

Clarke takes a picture of her wrapped in her blanket with an empty spot next to her on the bed.

_I’m already waiting xx_  

Before long Clarke drifts off to sleep.

_She’s in the car with Wells. They’re singing along to “Rudolph the red nose reindeer” and there’s snow on the ground. The car feels warm and his laugh feels her ears. When she looks over again Wells is gone and it’s Bellamy driving the car, his black curls are wild and he looks at ease, his golden cheeks are flushed. One hand is on the steering wheel and the other is in hers, rubbing small circles on her thumb. She smiles at him and the pain of Wells having left leaves when he smiles back at her. A boyish, care-free laugh that makes her heart swell. The song switches to “Marry You” by Bruno Mars and Clarke starts laughing when Bellamy begins singing and really getting into it._

_"Marry me, huh?”_

_“Why not?”_

_“You would want to have a life with me?”_

_“I want to have everything with you.” Bellamy brings her hand up to kiss the back of it and Clarke leans her head back against the head rest. He wants to have everything with her._

_Suddenly the car feels cold and Bellamy’s hand isn’t in hers anymore. She looks over and Bellamy is gone, replaced by Cage. His sneer causes her to jerk towards the passenger door. Where did Bellamy go? He had just been here. She reaches for the door handle but the door won’t open. She looks out the window and the soft snow that had been falling with Wells was now a storm and she can’t see anything other than pitch blackness and a swirl of white flakes flying past._

_“Come on, Clarke, there’s no need to hurry off.” She turns back to Cage and he reaches out and grasps her knee in a vice grip. “Let’s put everything behind us, hm? I’m willing to forget the little incident.”_

_“What do you want?”_

_“I think you can figure that out.”_

_His sneer turns into something more sinister and his eyes go black, he’s turning into something terrifying. She tries screaming but nothing comes out. She can’t open the door. She has her back pressed against the cold window and she’s staring at him. He lunges at her—_

“Clarke!"

Clarke's eyes snap open to see Murphy standing over her, his brown hair sticking out on all sides and his eyes wide in panic. She can feel her heart hammering inside her chest and she looks around the room. She’s home, in her bed, surrounded by her blue walls, and she can hear the sound of a storm outside. _Is everyone else home?_

“I had a nightmare.”

“No shit. You screamed so loud I fell out of bed.”

“Sorry.” Clarke took a few deep breaths to try and steady her heart rate. “Is everyone back?”

“Not yet, but don’t change the subject.” Murphy crossed his arms. “You haven’t had a nightmare in months.”

“I know, I just—I’m stressed?”

“What did Cage do in your dream?”

“Well it started out with Wells, then it was Bellamy, and then everything shifted and it was Cage. He said that he was willing to forget the incident and when I asked what he wanted he said that I could figure it out. Then his face, he turned…inhuman.”

“I thought you said you hadn’t seen him all week?”

“I haven’t.”

“But you’re still worried he’s going to try and get to you?”

“No, I mean, I told Octavia this morning I think we scared him away.” There was some commotion downstairs and Clarke could hear the heavy footsteps of Bellamy coming up the stairs, the drop of his bag in his room, then he was standing in her doorway with little flakes of white still in his hair and a flush over his golden skin. _Just like in her dream_.

“Thank god, apparently she’s unable to sleep without you so I’m keeping you locked in her with her whenever I need sleep.”

“Fuck off, Murphy.” Clarke threw a pillow towards him and he ducked it, smiling.

“She’s all yours.” Murphy stalked out of the room and Bellamy moved in, shrugging off his sweater and long-sleeve shirt.

“What was that all about?”

“I had a nightmare.” Clarke scooted under the covers more and Bellamy slid in beside her.

“Care to share?”

“First it was me and Wells driving in the car, then it was me and you, then it was Cage and I woke up screaming. But I’m good now.”

“What happened?”

“He just looked like a monster and it freaked me out.” She moved closer towards him, basking in the heat he was giving off, and he wrapped his arms around her.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I have my dreamcatcher now.” She pressed her face further into his chest and he held her tighter.

“If you say so. Well, good news…”

“Hm?”

“Today was the last day of classes. Tomorrow is a snow day.”

“Good, that means we don’t have to get up.” She could hear and feel Bellamy chuckle.

“Nope, we don’t have to get up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw in chapter 23 where I said that Clarke applied for the fall semester at Ark U but I meant for it to be the spring semester so that's getting changed lol
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College kids acting like they're still in elementary school

Clarke wakes up wrapped in hot blankets and a sleeping Bellamy. It sounds like the storm that had been going on outside had either stopped or was just too quiet for her to hear, but she was too preoccupied with looking at Bellamy that she didn’t want to turn over and look out her window. His black curls where like ink against her white pillow cases and even in the near darkness his skin seemed to glow and his freckles stood out, but she could see that they weren’t as prominent when she first moved in. _They probably get darker in the summer_.

“Hey sleepy head.” His voice was rough and even though his eyes were open, his dark eyelashes hide his eyes.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled and leaned down to kiss him. A pounding came on her door and before she could respond Jasper and Monty tumbled into her room with grins splitting their faces in half.

“Guys!”

“Come outside!”

“Snowball fight!”

“Is there enough snow for that?” Clarke asked sitting up.

“You haven’t checked outside?” Monty asked. Him and Jasper’s eyes were full of light. Before they could any more Clarke jumps out of bed and throws open her curtains.

“Bellamy, _look_.” Staring out the window the ground was covered in a thick layer of white and the trees were sagging under the weight of the snow. After hearing the raging storm earlier in the day, seeing the flakes of snow fall is calming. Bellamy pads his way over next to her and she can see him smile in his reflection in the window. The same grin that can be seen on Monty and Jasper’s faces. _They look like little boys on Christmas day_.

“Ready to see who’ll win, Princess?”

“Is that a challenge, Mr. Blake?”

“Oh this is going to be fun.” Clarke could hear the smile in Jasper’s voice.

Bellamy shoos Monty and Jasper out of the room and then gives Clarke a kiss on the cheek saying he should go find some warmer clothes to wear. When Clarke packed her bags from D.C. she hadn’t put much thought into the colder weather and she hadn’t done much shopping once she settled in, just layered up on leggings and t-shirts until she felt like she could brave the cold. When she’s done dressing she makes her way down the stairs and can hear Octavia’s laughter drift from the living room and Harper’s voice calling from the kitchen that cookies are done.

“Hey, Clarke, are these yours?” Octavia was sprawled out on the love seat with her legs across Lincoln’s lap, motioning towards the empty chocolate rose wrappers she forgot to throw away that her mom had sent.

“Yeah, my mom sent them earlier when I told her about getting accepted into college for the spring, she loves chocolate roses."

“ _Chocolate roses_?” Monty sat up from his place on the floor and Clarke laughed.

“They’re in the fridge, knock yourselves out.”

Everyone jumped up and got at least one chocolate rose before digging into Harper’s cookies. It was amazing that Jasper and Monty didn’t develop a health condition from the amount of sweets and sugar that they ate. Clarke stares out the kitchen window and marvels at how calm and silent everything seems to be. A lot of snow had fallen within a few hours and she could only hope that it continued.

“Snowball fight!” Octavia called from by the front door.

“Are you sure you don’t want anymore cookies?” Jasper asked while grabbing another one from the almost empty plate.

“We’ve been saying we’d have a snowball fight for the past hour, it’s time to start it!”

“Unless you’re too scared.” Monty teased as she jabbed Jasper in the ribs.

“Griffin, you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Clarke smirked at Murphy and she could see the challenge dancing in his eyes. This was going to be different than the little snowball fights her and Wells used to do, this was going to be an all-out _war_.

Outside Clarke finds that she had been right, everything was muted and pretty much silent, except for the wind that would whistle through the trees. She doesn’t remember who exactly started the snowball fight except that Wick, Miller, and Bryan showed up halfway through and at some point she ended up making snow angels next to Jasper while Monty and Harper tried catching snowflakes on their tongue, Bellamy and Miller were determined to make the best snow fort they possibly could, and everyone else was trying to make snowmen.

“It sucks that we won’t be able to enjoy this for long, we still have finals coming up.” _Oh, Monty, ever the realist._

“Don’t ruin the ambiance Monty, live in the moment.”

“You guys know what we need?” She asks.

“More chocolate?”

“Some pot?”

“I was going to say alcohol but why not all three?”

“Griffin, don’t you know smoking is bad for your health?” Murphy teases as he sprawls out in the snow next to her.

“So is all of the alcohol we seem to drink.”

“Touché.”

For a moment Clarke stares up that the gray sky and lets the sound of her friends’ voices wash over her. The last time she experienced snow like this she had been with Wells and the memories of the two of them building snowmen together flitted through her mind and she felt a deep ache inside of her chest. _God she misses him_. At this point she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to think about him without feeling a deep sense of loss pulling at her heart, threatening to rip it out of her chest, but she knows that it’ll get a little easier with time. _Right_?

“Come on, Griffin, let’s get out of here.”

“And go where exactly? Everywhere is closed.”

“I know a place. We need to get you out of your head.” Murphy jumped to his feet then held a hand out for Clarke to take. This was similar to how her and Murphy operated when they were younger, even though they weren’t able to drive yet. It would be a lot of Clarke overthinking things and then Murphy taking her somewhere interesting, which technically, now that she looks back on it, was just a lot of trespassing.

“You know we can get arrested for this stuff now, right?”

“Yeah, but I only have to run faster than you.” Murphy winked then set off towards the trees. Clarke looked at everyone else and Bellamy caught her eye, he was rubbing snow over his face and smiling that thousand-watt boyish smile that always seems to make her heart melt. He looked over and her and she smiled back then he turned to Miller to had hit him in the back of the head with a snowball. _Boys_.

Clarke treks through the snow behind Murphy who seems to be pretty confident about where he’s going even though everything looks the same to Clarke. All of the tree limbs are being weighed down by the snow and everything is white, she can’t tell where one tree stops and the other starts now.

“You’re not going to show me some bodies you’ve hidden, are you?”

“What if I am?” Murphy’s voice was light and Clarke would swear she could hear the smile in it.

“Then I don’t want to be an accomplice. Ignorance is bliss.”

“Aw, I thought you were my partner in crime, Griffin?” Murphy teased as he ducked under one of the weighed down branches and Clarke did the same. After she broke through to the clearing on the other side she was at a loss for words. Murphy had brought her to see a big pond in the middle of the woods and what was even more interesting was the old house on the other side of it. It was decaying, that much was evident, but Murphy pushed towards it and Clarke followed behind him. When he reached what Clarke assumed was the front of it he bound up the stairs then stepped inside.

“Well come on.” He turned around to look at her, still standing on the ground.

“Won’t it fall over if we go inside?”

“Nope, sturdy as a rock.” To demonstrate Murphy jumped up and down a few times causing the entire house to shake and Clarke wanted to back up, but she knew that Murphy wouldn’t do anything to get her hurt. Well, get her killed, they’ve gotten hurt together on more than one occasion.

Taking a few calculated steps up the stairs and into the house Clarke barely allows herself to breathe, but when she gets inside she can’t seem to take everything in fast enough. There’s an old typewriter sitting on top of a very old desk, two fraying armchairs near a crumbling fireplace, wooden stairs to the side of the room that leads up to a loft on the second floor, though she’s pretty sure they wouldn’t hold her if she tried climbing them.

“Holy shit.”

“I thought you might like it. I know how obsessed you are with old stuff.” It was true, when Clarke was younger she loved looking at old things because it allowed her to paint an image in her head and come up with elaborate stories for them. Like the time she and Wells found an old house with an old silver vanity and came up with the story that it had belonged to wealthy aristocrat who was very rich and owned a dog and her husband had died in the war. She would draw and Wells would narrate.

“How did you find this place?”

“Bellamy and I found it one weekend when we were working for Kane, don’t know who owns it though.”

“I wonder why it’s just been left to rot.”

“Don’t know that either, but we’ve camped out here a few times actually. Adds to the creepy vibe of scary stories.”

“I bet. What about—”

“You’re trespassing.” A voice came from outside the house and it caused Clarke to jump. The cold of the winter air outside was nothing compared to the chill that went down her spine.

“Don’t see a sign.” Murphy’s stance was casual, his hand in his pockets and staring down at Cage from the doorway.

“This is my family’s property, so unless you want to be arrested I suggest you go back into whatever hole you came out of.”

“In that case I’ll make sure to tell your mom you said hi.” A shit eating grin spread across Murphy’s face and Clarke had to stifle her smile.

“You fucking—”

“What, Cage?” Clarke moved beside Murphy and had her eyebrows raised at Cage. “I don’t think you want to start something you can’t finish.”

“You think you’re protected, Clarke? You think your mom and Jaha have enough power to keep you safe? _I own your family, Clarke_. And you’ll do well to remember that.” Cage slid his gaze back to Murphy. “You should leave before I call the cops.”

With that Cage turned and trudged back through the snow. Clarke’s entire body felt numb and his words echoed in her head. _I own your family._ Images of her mother flashed in her mind. _Her mother unconscious on the bathroom floor, in a hospital bed_ …Murphy’s voice brought her back to the present.

“Clarke, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. We should get back.”

“Clarke—”

“Before he calls the cops, Murphy.” Murphy just threw up his hands in surrender then began leading the way back to the house. Clarke’s legs felt like jelly but she knew that falling apart in the woods wouldn’t do anything, so she decided she’d wait until they got back and then fall apart in the comfort of the warm house.

They walked in silence but Clarke knew Murphy was dying to know what Cage had meant when he said that he owned her family, but she also knew he wouldn’t bring it up and he’d wait for her to tell him. _But would he bring it up to everyone else?_ No. Murphy was loyal and he wouldn’t go around telling other people about someone else’s business. Soon, the two of them are in view of the house and everyone is still outside though now it seems to be a snowman building competition.

“I could use a drink.” _Thank god for John Murphy_.

“Hot chocolate and spiced rum?”

“Exactly.”

No one paid them any attention as they went back into the house and by the time Murphy was finishing up the last cup of hot chocolate everyone was piling into the house and dumping their soaked clothes by the door. Clarke shot Murphy a look and he just tilted his head to the side and stared at her. It was enough to tell her that he wouldn’t say anything but it also meant that there was still a conversation to have and if it came down to it he’d call her out on it in front of everyone. She rolled her eyes and exhaled before downing her spiked hot chocolate.

“Where’d you two go?” Octavia hopped onto the counter next to Clarke’s chair and plucked a steaming mug from the center of the island.

“Murphy showed me the old house in the woods.”

“It’s cool, right? We should totally camp out there when it warms up a little.”

“I don’t think we can—”

“Of course we can!”

“What she means is that we ran into Cage.” Murphy was leaning up against the counter across from Clarke.

“Why does that fucker seem to be everywhere?” Raven was sitting on the stool next to Clarke with her leg propped up on the other one.

“This time it was to tell us that his family owns the land the house is on and threatened to call the cops.” Clarke sighed and Bellamy showed up behind her and started massaging her shoulders. She leaned back into him.

“I wonder why he decided to say something now.” Monty was leaning up against the fridge with Harper under one of his arms.

“Just to be a dick.” Raven seemed to be falling asleep sitting up.

“Did he say anything to you?” Bellamy’s voice was low as he whispered into her ear and she could hear the threat behind them. _Oh god_.

“He did but…” Clarke could feel rather than see Bellamy’s jaw tick against her hair, “But it’s nothing we should get into now, okay? I just want to enjoy today.” She leaned back to look up at Bellamy. His hair was wet and sticking to his forehead and there was a flush of red across his face and his eyes were bright. He looked young.

“Then we’ll enjoy today.” He leaned down and kissed her, slow and sweet. “But we have to talk later. Deal?”

“Deal.” She smiled up at him and he smiled back. Then he promptly wiped whipped cream onto her nose causing her to yelp and everyone around them to jump. She scooped the rest of the whipped cream out of his drink then smeared it on his cheek.

Then all hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry its taken so long for an update! But I'm already working on the next chapter so hopefully the next update won't take so long, I've missed this story <3
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ending to a snow day and another secret from Clarke's past revealed

Why a house would have five cans of whipped cream Clarke has no idea, but she loved it. After her assault on Bellamy, Murphy grabbed the can he had been using, Monty and Jasper grabbed two out of the fridge, and Octavia practically vaulted over the counter and grabbed two cans and then threw one to Clarke. It was an all out battle until the cans began running out and the kitchen ended up as white as the ground outside and everyone settled in to start cleaning up. Clarke forgot all about Cage and her mom and Wells and was just living in the moment with her family.

After all of the whipped cream was cleaned up everyone took turns taking showers while the movies were rifled through and in the end they all settled on _The Santa Clause_ with Tim Allen and almost everyone had fallen asleep. Wick had fallen asleep with his head in Raven’s lap but got up to get in her bed, Lincoln carried Octavia up to Bellamy’s room, Jasper offered his room to Bryan and Miller, and Monty had carried Harper to his bed.

Now, Murphy was in his usual place, draped across the armchair, Raven was sprawled out on the couch with her leg elevated, Lincoln, Jasper, and Monty were laying on the floor, and Clarke and Bellamy were sitting on the love seat together. Clarke had kind of taken to putting a little more rum into her hot chocolate so she was probably more tipsy than everyone else, but today was a good day, there was nothing wrong with it.

“Alright, Griffin, time to talk.” Murphy looked over at her from his place in the chair and Clarke knew there was no way she was going to get out of this. And she had promised Bellamy they would talk earlier. 

“Talk about what?” Monty sat up with his arms draped across his knees.

“Earlier when Cage showed up, he said something.”

“Like what?” Clarke looked over at Raven. It was clear that all of the activity earlier had taken it’s toll on Raven and her leg, but even with Raven exhausted she still sounded like she was ready to fight anyone who pissed her off.

“You guys know about my mom and Jaha, how my mom cheated on my dad while he was in the hospital?” Everyone nodded their heads but didn’t say anything. “Well, something happened before and after my dad died.”

“What did Cage say, Clarke?”

“He said that I wasn’t as protected as I think. That my mom and Jaha’s money wasn’t enough to keep me safe. He said…,” Clarke took a deep breathe to steady herself. “He said that he owned my family.”

“What does that mean?” Bellamy’s hand that had been tracing circles on her shoulder stilled.

“There was something shady going on at my dad’s job and he found out that it was because of Dante’s backhanded dealings with certain people that weren’t always, well, _legal_. When my dad found out about it he confronted Dante.”

“Why would he do something like that?” Lincoln’s face was grim.

“My dad," she took a deep breath then sighed, "he wanted to fix everything. He thought he was doing the right thing by confronting Dante about it, thought that it would get him to stop but, it only made things worse. Dante told him that if ever tried telling anyone then he would make sure that _both_ of my parents lost their jobs and as a result he had my dad do some terrible things to keep me and my mom safe.. Well, my mom couldn’t take it. She had begged my dad to not say anything but he had anyway and because of it he was having to do things against his moral judgement.”

“What happened?” Jasper’s voice was low and his brown eyes were wide.

“My parents never went into specifics but, like I said, my mom couldn’t take it. She became addicted to pain pills because she couldn’t stand what was happening to us. Right after my dad died I found my mom on the bathroom floor and I called Jaha who then called Dante because Dante was the only person who could, well…”

“Keep it under wraps.”

“Yeah. So my dad was freed from having to do whatever Dante wanted him to do but my mom, she owes him for still being able to practice medicine. Though if you ask me she shouldn’t be doing that right now but she’s one of the best. Her assistant, Jackson, is helping her stay on the right path and I assume so is Jaha. Her addiction didn’t last long, but it was long enough. I actually don’t know what’s happening with everything now, other than sometimes Dante will ask her to forge some paperwork or something. She quit telling me much about it.”

 “What the fuck.” Raven whispered under her breath.

“Your life could be a damn book.” Murphy offered from the chair and Clarke let out a dry laugh.

“So I’ve been told.”

“Do you think he’ll try to do something?” Clarke could almost see the gears grinding in Jasper’s head.

“I have no idea.”

“He won’t, because he’s not going to get anywhere near you.” Bellamy’s voice was hard and it sent a shiver down Clarke’s spine.

“I know no one here will let anything happen to me, but I have to fight my own battles sometimes too.”

“But you don’t have to fight alone, Clarke. We’re going to be right there with you.” Lincoln’s sincerity made Clarke smile.

“I know all of you will be.”

“Why can’t he just get out of our lives.” Monty groaned and then fell back onto the floor. “Is it too late to move?”

“Yes, but it’ll be break in a week and we can deal with everything then.” Raven sounded like she was falling asleep and Clarke couldn’t blame her. They may have acted like they were little kids today but it had really taken a toll on all of them.

“I think it’s time we all went to bed.” Bellamy sounded tired, and Clarke couldn’t blame him. She lifted herself off the couch as Murphy stood up and scooped up Raven to carry her up the stairs and Bellamy did the same with her. Within a minute Clarke and Bellamy were in her bed and under the covers.

“And just when I thought he wasn’t going to be a problem anymore.” Bellamy was laying on his back with his right hand resting on his stomach while his left arm was curled around Clarke’s shoulders, tracing lines on her skin.

“I don’t think he will be, nothing bad actually happened today.”

“He threatened you, Clarke.”

“But there’s nothing he can do about it. Cage may be a hot head and have a temper but I know Dante wouldn’t let him do something that would be detrimental to the Wallace name.”

“Like getting wine thrown in his face?”

“If Dante has said anything about that it hasn’t been to me or my mom.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” Bellamy turned his head so he could get a better look at her.

“Because I don’t think he’ll be stupid enough to actually try something, Bellamy. Everything that he’s said so far has just been empty threats, and I don’t get scared at words.”

“You think what he’s said has just been empty threats? You could end up part of his human testing, Clarke. This is your life we’re talking about here.”

“Human testing?” Clarke furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She hadn’t kept any tabs on Cage over the years, she hadn’t even seen him since she was seventeen; the only information she got was what she was told by her mom or whatever she overheard.

“Your mom didn’t tell you?”

“My mom knows?” _What the hell is he talking about?_

“Fuck.” Bellamy took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling, then rolled over so he and Clarke were face to face. “About a year ago Miller told me about this investigation that was being done about a girl accusing Cage of taking her and running tests on her against her will. The cops didn’t find anything and the girl was put in a psychiatric facility with Dante paying for all of her medical bills because he said that he felt sorry for her and wanted to help.”

“Oh my god, is she okay? They did all of that to cover it up?”

“She’s fine, your mom says she checks in on her from time to time.”

“How did you know that mom knew about the human testing?”

“She told me that Dante asked her for the recommendation.” Clarke was staring at Bellamy now. _When did he learn all of this?_ “I answered your phone one morning and your mom asked if there was something on my mind and I didn’t tell her anything, she assumed it was Cage. I asked her she knew about the human testing and she said that she did and that she only knew because Dante asked her for a recommendation.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it would help anything, but I know now that I should’ve told you.” Clarke leaned into his hand that was caressing her face and looked up at him. She couldn’t be upset with him, it wasn’t important at the time. “Just promise that you’ll be careful, baby.”

“I promise.” Clarke leaned up to give him a kiss then curled back under his arm. “We have a snow day tomorrow.”

“And another day of getting to sleep in with you.” Bellamy’s voice was weighed down with drowsiness and Clarke could already feel herself beginning to drift off but she smiled.

“Mmm…sounds perfect.”

\--- 

Bellamy woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of something crashing outside, and before he could register whether or not Clarke was awake he threw himself out of bed and sprang towards the window. There was nothing he could see from where he was standing, but another loud crash came from closer to the front of the house and he made for Clarke’s door. The hallway was empty and the house was quiet when Murphy’s door opened and there was anger in his eyes.

“What the fuck is that?” Murphy half-whispered, half-shouted towards Bellamy.

“No idea.” Bellamy ran his hand over his face when a third crash came from near the front door. How everyone else could sleep through this was astounding.

Murphy disappeared into his room then came back with a baseball bat then the two of them began making their way down the stairs and Bellamy darted into the living room to grab a fire poker before joining Murphy by the front door. Who would be outside in all of this snow was most definitely insane, they had to be. There was a little more clatter outside and Murphy and Bellamy looked at each other and nodded before throwing open the front door and raising their weapons.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Bellamy let out a deep sigh then ran his fingers through his hair. In the front yard there was a raccoon the size of a rat terrier dog with a big cob of corn hanging out of its mouth and a trail of garbage following it from the side of the house.

“Do we clean it now or wait until the morning?” Murphy sounded tired, and Bellamy could feel the weight of sleep trying to pull him back.

“I guess now, I doubt we’ll want to do it in the morning.”

With a sigh the two of them pulled on the clothes that they had discarded earlier and made short work of the trash then they were back inside shrugging off the clothes again. The cold air had woken them both up substantially and Bellamy was wondering if he’d be able to go back to sleep after this.

“Night cap?” Murphy seemed half asleep, but Bellamy knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after being outside either. Well, not without a little help.

“Definitely.” Bellamy followed Murphy into the kitchen and he poured them each a double then slid the cup across the island ad they both took a stool. “You know, for a second I thought—”

“It was Cage?”

“Yeah.” Bellamy let out a sigh. So he wasn’t the only one who was worried that that could’ve been a possibility.

“I’m betting on that he doesn’t lurk around people’s houses at night when there’s the possibility that he’ll get his ass kicked.”

“I hope that’s the case.” Bellamy tilted his head back and downed his drink. “All of this shit that’s been going on, all because of Clarke…” Bellamy was amazed that one girl could cause so much trouble.

“Clarke has always been in the center of everything whether she wanted to be or not. I remember Wells saying that she was the type of girl that people would go to war for.”

“And it looks like we’re in the middle of one.”

“Actually, something tells me we’re just getting started.” Murphy downed his drink too then he and Bellamy looked at each other. “But you know she’s worth it.” This was a rare glimpse of the Murphy that would die to protect those he cared about, and no matter how long he and Clarke had spent apart there was still a bond there that Bellamy didn’t think could ever be broken.

“Damn right she is.” The two of them made their way back upstairs silently with Murphy giving a mock salute before he pushed into his room and Bellamy found his way back into Clarke’s bed.

Clarke was curled into a ball in the middle of the bed and when Bellamy scooted in she immediately rolled into him, taking up more of the bed than what she should’ve been allowed, but the contented sigh that came from her lips was enough for him to just chuckle lightly and hold onto her a little tighter. He wasn’t going to try and figure out what Cage could possibly have planned, but he was going to do whatever he could to make sure that Clarke was safe. He didn’t trust Cage, he didn’t trust anyone except Kane and the people currently in his house. She didn’t deserve to have this happen to her. But if he had any say with how all of this turned out, she wouldn’t have to worry about it for long.

Let Cage come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the partnership between Bellamy and Murphy and the brotp between Murphy and Clarke
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Predictions? ;)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of fluff and a call from someone that's not Cage...  
> I'm sorry if there's any spelling/grammar errors! I haven't proofread it

The next morning Clarke wakes up to a cold bed and her room being at least a few degrees cooler than when she went to sleep the night before. She thought that she’d be able to wake up with Bellamy beside her but the smell coming in from down stairs told her that waking up to breakfast being made was almost just as good. She threw back her covers then instantly regretted it, it was _very_ cold. She tugged on her high school sweatpants then took a moment to stare out her window, it seemed to have snowed even more since she had gone to sleep and she was ready to start up another snowball fight.

When she got downstairs she saw Bellamy standing over the stove with a towel thrown over his shoulder while Lincoln divided eggs among a line of plates. _A meal fit for an army_.

“Good morning, Clarke.” Lincoln saw her first and gave her a warm, tired smile. How he and Bellamy always managed to wake up as early as they did was something Clarke would never understand. Bellamy turned around and smiled at her too, the lazy, content smile he usually has in the mornings that makes her heart melt.

“The Princess graces us with her presence.” His eyes were bright.

“Aren’t you lucky, you should be bowing down before me.” She teased as she slid into her usual place on the counter where she sat when he cooked.

“I think that name has gone to that big head of yours.” Murphy grumbled as he shuffled his way into the kitchen. He never woke up this early unless it was for food.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have your own nickname, _John_.” Murphy scrunched up his nose and sat on the stool closet to her.

“Why I ever decided to be your friend I have no idea.”

“Oh, so you think you could just _decide_ not to be my friend now?” Clarke arched her eyebrows as she stole a piece of bacon off of the plate next to her.

“I know I could.”

“Nope, you’d miss me too much.”

“You’re not that special, Griffin.”

“You wound me.” She played up the dramatics by placing her hand over her heart. “I am wounded.”

“Oh, we all know we can’t have _that_ now can we?” Murphy rolled his eyes and smirked at her.

Before long the breakfast was done and everyone was being called down to get some. Bellamy had just settled between Clarke’s legs, leaning up against the counter, when Raven limped into the kitchen. If Clarke hadn’t known any better she would’ve thought Raven was fine, but it was the way she pressed her lips into a thin line and dipped slightly when she stepped that she realized Raven was in a lot of pain. It was confirmed even further when Wick came up behind her and looked at Clarke as if to say ‘she won’t listen to me’. Clarke looked back at Raven as she settled into a chair.

“Yesterday was great!” Octavia bound down the stairs and slid into the kitchen. _God how is she so uppity?_

“Whose up for another round today?” Jasper looked just as excited as Octavia.

“I think I’m a little too old to jump back in right now.” Bellamy chuckled.

“Right there with you.”

“Same.”

Bellamy’s phone went off and Clarke tried her best to not read the message over her shoulder. “Hey, Kane says that he needs help shoveling his driveway with the promise of drinks and all the food we can eat.”

“Great! He has that huge hill in the back too, we can go sledding!” Octavia’s smile stretched across her face.

After everyone finished breakfast Harper, Bryan, and Miller had to leave because Harper and Bryan had work and Miller needed to shovel his dad’s driveway since his dad had broken his leg a couple of weeks back. Raven had tried to get Wick to leave too, but he was just as stubborn as she was.

“I don’t need you hovering over me!” Raven’s door was shut but her voice carried down the hall to the bathroom. Clarke couldn’t hear what Wick but Raven’s voice grew louder. “Bellamy is enough of a mother hen, I don’t need you!”

“Mother hen, huh?” Clarke turned to Bellamy who was just stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. “Seems fitting.”

“I think I’ve gotten better about it.” Bellamy smirked then shook his hair out, sending waterdrops flying.

“I haven’t heard them like this before.”

“It usually blows over, she only ever gets like this if she’s in pain or frustrated, or frustrated about being in pain.” Clarke looked over at the door where it seemed the arguing had moved into the hallway. Bellamy moved closer to Clarke and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t worry, they always work through it.”

“We used to fight like that.”

“And I think we’re proof that it can be worked through.”

Clarke turned around to fully face Bellamy and wrapped her arms around his neck, weaving her fingers through his damp black hair. They were proof that things could be worked through, weren’t they? They smiled at each other then Bellamy bent down and pressed his lips to hers. Slow and full of love.

“Hurry the fuck up assholes!” Murphy’s voice came from the other side of the door as he banged on it. “We were promised drinks and food!”

“Lush!” Clarke called back and she could feel Bellamy chuckle beside her before pressing anther kiss to her head and tugging on his clothes.

“You’re the one who gave me my first drink, Griffin, I blame you!”

“Did she really?” Bellamy stopped pulling on his shirt and called towards the closed door.

“Not so innocent is she?”

Clarke rolled her eyes then flung open the door. Murphy was leaning against the wall by Clarke’s bedroom smirking at her and Bellamy. “You were the one who gave it to me in the first place!”

“You asked for it!”

“Oh my god.” Clarke groaned as Bellamy laughed at the two of them.

“This is all over the place.” Bellamy crossed his arms then looked at the two of them, smiling. “What happened?”

“So, Clarke wanted to drink, right? Her and Wells wanted to see what it tasted like but they were too scared to try their parents. So—“

“So we asked Murphy, biggest mistake of my life.”

“I took two of my dad’s beers and snuck them over to Wells’ house. But they didn’t drink them because they were too _scared_.”

“We were not! It just…wasn’t the right time.”

“That’s bullshit, Griffin, and you know it.”

“Our parents came home!”

“That’s when you just chug it and hide the evidence.” Murphy rolled his eyes but he was still smirking. “Fast forward to a week later when we hung out again Clarke took it out and sipped on it then gave it to me and said that she didn’t want to be the only one to try it.” Murphy put on a hurt expression. “I was peer pressured.”

“Oh you were not, you wanted to try it and you know it!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Come on, Kane is waiting!” Octavia appeared at the stairs just as Raven stormed out of her room with a tired looking Wick behind her.

“Everyone get your asses in the goddamn car!”

Octavia stared after Raven with her eyebrows raised as Clarke looked at Wick who merely shrugged. As they made their way towards the stairs Bellamy clasped Wick on the shoulder and offered him a look of sympathy. They both knew how tough Raven could be.

It took longer to get to Kane’s house than usual because Bellamy wanted to be careful since some of the roads had iced over. No one talked much during the ride except for Monty and Jasper screaming along with some Christmas songs and Raven had her legs stretched out in their laps. Lincoln, Octavia, Murphy, and Wick had all taken Lincoln’s car and Clarke was kind of glad Raven and Wick were getting some time apart to calm down.

“Glad everyone made it in one piece!” Kane greeted everyone in the driveway and immediately ushered everyone inside.

“Is there food?” Monty elbowed Jasper in the ribs and whispered something like “ _it’s rude to immediately ask”_ while Kane just chuckled and pointed towards the kitchen.

“Knock yourselves out.” Everyone began to file into the kitchen.

“Octavia is dying to get on that big hill in the back.”

“I bet she is, the last time it snowed like this she was barely ten.” Kane and Bellamy both smiled at the memory and Clarke was caught up in how at ease Bellamy looked when her phone rang.

_Incoming Call D. Wallace_

Clarke’s blood seem to run cold as she stared at her phone. Her heart started racing and it was like she couldn’t breathe. _But she had nothing to really worry about, right? It had been weeks since the video so it’s not like Dante would call her about it now_. She was glad her mother had given her his number so at least she would know what she was about to get into. She turned around and walked back outside, not looking back to see if anyone was watching her.

“Mr. Wallace, hi.” She flinched at how high her voice was

“Hello, Clarke.” There was a beat where Clarke didn’t reply. If Dante was going to call her then he was going to be the one to talk. “Listen, I know things between you and my son are not the best right now and I understand that he can be a huge pain to deal with.”

“Yes sir.”

“I would like to apologize for how he’s been acting. I have been in touch with your mother and I would be honored to have the two of you attend a winter dinner I am planning on Christmas Eve.”

“Mr. Wallace, that is very generous but I don’t—”

“I’m afraid you do not have a choice, Miss Griffin. Your mother has already said the two of you would be there.” _Of course she had._ “Be sure to keep and eye out for the invitation in the mail.”

“Of course. Have a good day Mr. Wallace.”

“Clarke! Be sure to leave your attack dogs at home before stepping foot in my house.” Her blood boiled at his words. Of course he would seem them as that, he would only see them as the people who attacked his son. _If that's how he saw them, h_ _ow did he see her?_

“You mean I’m not even allowed to bring a date?” She could hear Dante sigh on the other end. She wouldn’t be able to get through a night at his house without Bellamy beside her.

“If you insist, but I will not tolerate any attack on my son. Do you understand, Clarke? I will not hesitate to throw you and Bellamy Blake into jail.”

“You don’t need to worry about us, Mr. Wallace. Have a good day.”

Clarke hung up her phone and let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She had been roped into a dinner party that she didn’t want to go to at a house she didn’t want to be at surrounded by the last people she wanted to see. That was definitely not how she wanted to spend her Christmas Eve. She thought that maybe she would be surrounded by her friends drinking spiked hot chocolate, watching Christmas movies for children, and not feeling the weight of spending her first Christmas without Wells.

Clarke sagged against the door and tried to slow down her heart rate. Why was it that anytime she was beginning to relax and have fun someone always ruined it? No matter what her time always seemed to be ruined by the Wallaces. The door opened and she fell back into a pair of broad arms and the smell of soap and laundry detergent.

“Plan on staying out here all day, Princess?” She looked up and Bellamy was smiling at her with the lopsided grin she adored.

“I might if it keeps you holding me like this.” She grinned back at him as he hauled her back into the house and stood her up right, shutting the door with his foot.

“We could do that inside.” She turned and rested her head against his shoulder with her arms around his neck. _God how she wished she could stay like this._

“I just got off the phone with Dante.” She closed her eyes as she said the words. She was going to have to say something sooner rather than later.

“What did he have to say.” Bellamy's shoulders tensed and Clarke began playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I’ve, well,  _we've_  been invited to a dinner party on Christmas Eve at the Wallace house.”

“Did you say you couldn’t go?”

“I tried, he said I didn’t have a choice since my mother had already agreed that we’d go.” She sighed and tightened her hold on him. “Why can’t we just have _one day._ ”

“Because it seems that trouble follows you wherever you go.” Bellamy teased.

“Get a room!” Murphy called from down the hall and Clarke and Bellamy turned to look at him. “Those looks mean something happened.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Don’t want to know. I’m not getting into this today.” Murphy groaned then stalked back into the kitchen.

“I think he has the right idea. Today, we’re not going to check our phones at any point. As a matter of fact, we’re going to hide them and not check them until tomorrow.” Clarke giggled.

“Do you think that will work?”

“Out of sight out of mind. We’ll make it work.” He kissed the top of her head then pulled away, stretching out his hand for her phone. She smiled then handed it over. She wanted a day with just him and her family.

“Thank you.” He turned and started off down the hall. “Jasper! Monty!” The two popped their heads out of the kitchen doorway with what seemed to be icing smeared across their faces.

“Can you two hide our phones for today and not let us have them until tomorrow?” A pair of wicked grins spread across their faces and Clarke wondered if she was going to regret handing her phone over.

“You got it.” They each took a phone then darted into the living room as Bellamy tugged Clarke into the kitchen.

“No peeking.”

“Trust me, I don’t want to know.”

“We’re baking a cake!” Octavia called from on top of the counter and she had slightly more icing on her face than Monty and Jasper.

“You up for making a cake?” Bellamy looked down at her and she could see the promise of a challenge in his eyes.

“Is that a challenge, Mr. Blake?”

“Would you have it any other way?” He titled his head sideways and some of his black curls fell into his eyes.

“Definitely not.”

The smile spread across his face even wider and she felt excited. _This was definitely going to be a good day_.

**\---**

**Clarke Griffin’s Cell Phone**

_(1) Voicemail Mom_

_(6) Missed Calls Mom_

_(8) Text Messages Mom_

_Voicemail: “Clarke, honey, I am so sorry for agreeing to go to Dante’s dinner. You have to understand that I couldn’t turn him down. I know you’re angry with me, but I hope you know that I don’t want to go either. Please call me back soon. I love you, hon.”_

_Incoming Call Jaha_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned to upload this chapter tomorrow but I have a project due so I decided to upload it tonight!
> 
> Thoughts? I know this chapter had a lot of fluff but some fluff is good in my opinion!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A morning talk with Jaha, then Kane, a dream, and a "meeting" with her friends.

The next morning Clarke wakes up with a sugar hangover and a very large bruise on her right side from when she and Octavia had collided with Jasper and Monty which ended in everyone deciding that was enough sledding for the day. Clarke is also pretty sure that she has a sugar hangover too which just adds even more pain because now everything just hurts. She maneuvers her way through all of the sleeping bodies in the living room and goes into the kitchen. If she was going to try and be functional today then she was going to need _lots_ of caffeine, but the idea of having anymore sugar was enough to make her want to hurl.

“Listen, Thelonious, you can’t just—” Clarke stopped dead in her tracks. Kane was on the phone looking out the kitchen window as she peeked around the corner. _It couldn’t be Jaha, they didn’t know each other. Did they?_ “If Clarke doesn’t want to talk to you then I’m not going to force her to.” Yep, they knew each other. Clarke heard Kane sigh and she took it as her cue to walk in. “I don’t know why she hasn’t been answering her phone, look—”

“It’s because I didn’t want to be bothered yesterday.”  Clarke watched as Kane jumped at her sudden appearance and turned around to look at her. His eyes were wide but they soon softened in a way that told her he was sorry.

“Yeah, that was her,” Kane closed his eyes, “I’m not going to—”

“I’ll talk to him.” His eyes opened and he took the phone and pressed it to his shoulder, not caring if Jaha was still talking.

“Clarke, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“If he’s calling you to get to me then might as well.” She sighed then held out her hand. Kane quickly told Jaha that he was handing the phone over before he pressed it into Clarke’s hand then left the kitchen to give her privacy.

“Clarke?” Jaha’s voice came out the other end and she immediately began regretting her decision.

“Jaha.”

“Clarke, I—”

“I don’t want to hear about anything other than why you’re trying so hard to get to me.” She could hear Jaha sigh before he started talking again.

“Your mother doesn’t want you to know this, but someone cut her break lines yesterday. She’s okay, she figured out that they weren’t working as she backed out of the driveway, but I wanted to warn you so you could keep an eye out.”

“Do they know who did it?”

“No, but I’m sure you can guess.”

“There's a chance it wasn't Cage."

"I think you know better than that."

"But this is getting fucking ridiculous! _Why_? _Why_ go through all of this trouble for something that isn’t a big deal!” Clarke could feel the anger bubbling up in her chest. It was getting to the point where everything just seemed overdone. She got it, she pissed Cage off, but at this point he was just being way too _idiotic_. What he was doing didn’t fit the “crime”.

“Cage Wallace is, how do I put this, very temperamental and when something happens he obsesses over it. No matter what it is.”

“So you don’t think he’ll stop anytime soon?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, thank you for your concern, Jaha. I can handle myself.”

“I have no doubt about that, Clarke. I just want you to be safe.” Clarke closed her eyes. Of course he just wanted her to be safe, she had been as much his child as Wells, but with everything that had happened, it wasn’t something she wanted to deal with right now.

“Bye, Jaha.”

“Goodbye, Clarke.” The call ended and Clarke sagged against the counter, any bravado she may have had completely left her body.

“How are you feeling?” Kane reappeared and was leaning up against the doorway.

“I’m tired, Kane. I just want this all to go away.” She ran her hand over her face and stifled a yawn. “How do you know Jaha?”

“I used to live in D.C. a long time ago, we went to college together. He was a good friend.”

“What happened?"

“I suppose life happened, and at some point I moved back here and we lost touch completely. When you first arrived I didn’t know you were Abby and Jake’s daughter, I had only met them a handful of times and long before you were born. It wasn’t until the day of the charity event that I began to wonder. After enough time around all of you I was pretty sure my suspicions were correct then Thelonious called and, well, you know the rest.” He gave her a half apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner.”

“No, it’s okay, really. You barely knew my parents and I’m not exactly on speaking terms with Jaha right now. You had no reason to tell me.”

“Jaha told me about how rough this past year has been for you, and I want you to know that you also have me to talk to, Clarke. I’ve already adopted six delinquent children, I could adopt you too.” A small smile played on Clarke’s lips. “But I don’t mean to take the place of your parents, I could be more of an adoptive uncle.”

“I think I’d like that.” Kane smiled at her and she returned it. It was almost like being adopted by Kane was the final step to being a part of the delinquents.

“Great, then it’s settled, we’ll get you a t-shirt.” He moved further into the kitchen and rubbed his hands together, excitement dancing in his eyes. “So how about some breakfast?”

The rest of the morning was spent helping Kane make a buffet breakfast and talking about books and art. It turned out that Kane used to like drawing too when he was younger, but his preferred medium was spray paint. Apparently Kane had gone to school with Aurora Blake and he helped put Bellamy and Octavia in school and did almost everything he could to make sure they got a good education, even if he hadn’t been there constantly, he had tried to help. Even though Bellamy was pretty much a parent to Octavia from the start.

“I know what you’re thinking, I should’ve tried to help more.”

“No, Kane, that’s not—” He held up a hand, cutting her off.

“I did what I could when they were younger but Aurora’s boyfriends never liked me being around, so I did what I could from a distance. I regret not being there more, and I’m trying to make sure I’m there now, even if they don’t need a parent anymore.”

“We all need a parent, Kane. We’re all still kids, and we’re glad to have you.”

“Thank you, Clarke.” He gave her a shy smile just as someone shouted from the living room.

“What the fuck happened to me, everything fucking hurts.” _Murphy_.

“Shut up, Murphy!” _Raven_.

“Both of you be quiet!” _Bellamy._

“It’s too early for this.” _Monty._

“I’m hungry.” _Jasper._

“Looks like your kids are awake.”

“Breakfast!”

Everyone shuffled into the kitchen, still half asleep, and shoveled food onto their plates then went back into the living room to eat. Everyone except Jasper seemed to still be recovering from the day before but the good thing was that Raven didn’t seem to be in as much pain. Clarke knew she hated having to sit out yesterday when it came to sledding but she was pretty sure Raven didn’t mind after the collision.

“Goggles, where’s my phone?” Clarke stretched out on the floor and turned her head to look at Jasper who in turn was looking down at his plate as if willing more food to appear.

“On top of the ceiling fan in a bedroom upstairs.”

“It’s—what?” 

“Monty, where’s my phone?” Bellamy slid his gaze towards Monty who seemed to be falling asleep.

“Hidden in a vent upstairs.”

“The two of you really took hiding our phones seriously, didn’t you?” Bellamy seemed surprised that the lengths they went to hide them.

“Come on, Bellamy, you should know that they we never do anything halfway.” Jasper and Monty smiled at each other then self-fived, causing everyone to laugh.

“I do know that. Now can you both get them back?”

\--- 

An hour later, after having taken a quick shower and brushing her teeth with a tooth brush Bellamy has at the house, Clarke feels halfway normal. After Jasper returned her phone she didn’t bother checking it but now that she was in the living room by herself waiting while everyone else freshened up, she didn’t have anything else to do. She was surprised to see so many calls and texts from her mom but they basically said the same thing over and over again.

_Please call me back_  
_I’m sorry_  
_Let’s talk about this_

Clarke sent a quick text to her mom saying she understood and that Jaha had explained and that she had just put her phone aside the day before and wasn’t ignoring her. Suddenly she felt very tired so she decided to dig her headphones out of her bag and listen to some music.

“ _Feeling my way through the darkness_  
_guided by a beating heart_  
_I can’t tell where the journey will end_  
_but I know where to start_  
_they tell me I’m too young to understand_  
_they say I’m caught up in a dream_  
_well life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes_  
_well that’s fine by me…”_

Clarke closed her eyes. This song had become the anthem of her life when her dad died and Wells tried to get her to start drawing again and then after Wells died and after the whole Finn thing, she was listening to this song when she decided to move.

_Her and Wells are building a snowman while her dad looks on from the backdoor of their house. Clarke had just finished putting the head one when she gets hit with a snowball and she turns around to see Wells grinning from ear to ear._

_“No far!”_

_“Everything’s fair in love and war, Clarke!”_

_“So this is war then?”_

_“It’s always war.” There was a wicked glint in his eye as Clarke abandoned the snowman and began making her own snowball._

_They chase each other around the yard and when she’s out of breath and laughing she opens her eyes to find her and Wells are the car and they’re older. They’re laughing again and she can feel the love she has for her best friend swell in her chest. She could spend the rest of her life like this. Suddenly, Wells looks at her with a soft smile on his face._

_“He’s good for you, Clarke.”_

_“Who?”_

_“Bellamy. He makes you love life again. They all do.” Clarke’s chest lurches._ This isn't real.

_“You would’ve loved them.” She can feel a lump beginning to form in the back of her throat but Wells only continues to smile. “I miss you, Wells. Every day.”_

_“As long as there is love and memory, there is no true loss.” Wells reaches over to grab her hand and she clutches on to his. He’s there. “Be careful, Clarke, I don’t want to see Cage hurt you.”_

_“Wells?”_

Clarke wakes up with a start and her heart hammering. She blames the excess sugar on the vivid dreams. It was one thing to have nightmares about the wreck, even if she hadn’t had any in a while, but it was a completely different thing to actually dream about having conversations with Wells. And the weirdest part about it was that what he said would’ve been the same exact thing as if he was still here. He even quoted a book at her.

“Crying in your sleep again, Griffin?” Murphy looks over at her from his place on the armchair. _What is his thing and armchairs,_ Clarke wonders, _they seem so uncomfortable._

“Another dream with Wells.” Murphy moved to sit up and rested his elbows against his knees, staring at her. “It’s so weird. I blame the sugar.”

“With the amount that I listen to your dreams I should be getting paid.” Murphy groaned then rested his head in his hands. “What happened?”

“If you don’t want to listen to my dreams then why keep asking about them?"

“Because they could wake me up at night if I’m not careful. Now, what was it about?”

“Wells just said that he didn’t want to see me get hurt by Cage.”

“I think that’s all of us.” The way Murphy talked made Clarke think that there was something else he wanted to say.

“He said that everyone here made me love life again.” She half mumbled it to herself, trying to embed in her mind, but she also wanted Murphy to know. They had been kids together, before everything went to hell.

“God this sentimental shit is going to kill me.” Murphy hung his head. “When I saw you at The Dropship I knew you weren’t the same, but over these last few months you’ve become the girl I used to know.” He looked up at her. “Don’t let this shit bring you down again.”

“Why would I? I have everyone here to help me.”

“But you can’t let others be your source of happiness, Clarke.” Raven walked in from the hallway, her hair wrapped up in a towel.

“That’s true, happiness needs to come from within so no one else can take it away.” Wick followed behind Raven with a towel wrapped around his head too, causing Clarke to smile.

“I know that, I’m not relying on anyone else for my happiness. I love you guys and I love my life, that’s all there is to it.”

“Good.” Raven gave her a small smile then threw herself on the couch next to her. “Now enough sentimental crap, I’m going to get ulcers.”

And with that, everything was dropped. Clarke knew that she was going to have to tell everyone about the dinner, it was too big for her not to, but for now she was just going to enjoy watching cliché Christmas movies on hallmark and laughing with her friends. They were going to have to start studying for exams soon, even if Clarke thought they were probably a little behind on studying as it was, and then they would have about two weeks to figure everything out.

Bellamy came back in from collecting some wood from the shed with Kane and Lincoln then took up the spot beside Clarke, pulling her into his side. She leaned in and sighed. _If only they could stay this way forever._ Bellamy placed a kiss on top of her head and tightened his hold on her. She looked up at him and smiled and he leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss that she loved.

“If you two are done staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, what happened yesterday?” Of course Murphy broke the moment. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Oh god.” Monty fell back on the floor.

“Not more shit.” Raven groaned next to her, causing Clarke to smile.

“I think it’s entertaining.” Jasper followed Monty’s lead but instead of falling he braced his hands behind his head and crossed his legs, like he was getting ready to be told a story.

“I got a call from Dante and, apparently, I have to go to a dinner on Christmas Eve at his house.” Clarke didn’t like the idea of the dinner but seeing her friends reactions made her smile. Raven pressed a pillow over her face and groaned, Octavia made a gagging noise, Jasper started cackling, Monty began rubbing his temples, and Murphy just rolled his eyes and began typing away on his phone. She looked over at Lincoln who just had a sour look, and Wick just seemed like he didn’t know what to do in this situation.

“Tell him you can’t go.” Octavia suggested.

“Can’t, my mom already said that we would.”

“But she can’t—”

“She had to.” Lincoln was standing neck to Octavia with his arms crossed. “Didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did.” Clarke sighed, at least someone else said it.”

“What do you mean she _had_ to?” Octavia’s eyes narrowed as she looked between Clarke and Lincoln. Lincoln looked at Clarke and she nodded her head. He could probably say anything better than she could. Lincoln quickly ran through the conversation that was had the other night for Octavia and Wick and by the end of it, Wick looked damn near horrified.

“I’m sorry, Wick, you don’t need to be dragged into this too.” Clarke apologized. He had been there when she recounted what happened with Wells and the wreck, but as far as she knew, he didn’t know much else.

“Don’t apologize, it seems that everyone has been having all the fun without me.” He gave her a reassuring smile as he sat on the armrest next to Raven. "I'm in."

“So what are you going to do?” Monty asked from his place on the floor.

“Go to his dinner and hopefully leave without being threatened of jail.” Clarke shrugged. There really wasn’t much she could do. “Oh, and I talked to Jaha this morning.”

“How did he even get a hold of you? You didn’t have your phone.” Bellamy looked at her, confused.

“He called Kane.”

“How does he know Kane?” Clarke looked over at Octavia.

“They knew each other years ago. Jaha just wanted to tell me to be careful, someone had cut my mom’s breaks on her car and he thought they may come after me.”

“He’s already been coming after you.” Murphy pointed out.

“Clarke.” She looked up at Bellamy who had gone white. “If he did that to her then—”

“Guys, we don’t _know_ that it was Cage.”

“I think we have a pretty good idea.”

“I’ll start checking your car before you drive it anywhere.” Clarke turned to Raven who was staring, very intensely, at a fix point on the far wall. “This shit is getting ridiculous.” Clarke couldn’t help but agree.

“Okay, well, that’s everything. Now, we should enjoy our last free day before all of you have to start studying.”

Everyone agreed and Clarke leaned against Bellamy more. She hoped that all of this would be put behind them at the start of the new year, or, hell, maybe it would be a sort of Christmas present. But for right now, she just wanted to enjoy the time she had with her friends while it lasted before they hole up in their rooms and don’t come out unless it’s to use the bathroom or take their exams. Even Bellamy will have to spend more time on campus instead of at their house. She just wants one more day of relaxing with her friends without the impending threat of Cage Wallace hanging over their heads.

_Just one more day_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 6,500 hits and 200 kudos, AND 45 bookmarks. Thank you guys so much!! This is chapter 30 and while I'm not completely sure how many chapters there might be I'm thinking maybe 40? Around there? I don't plan anything out beforehand so I guess we'll just have to see!
> 
> I hope you guys liked it!  
> x


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise party

It turns out that the person who had cut Abby’s break line was a disgruntled family member of a former patient. Clarke didn’t exactly ask for the details, knowing that they probably brought up bad memories for her mom. Even Abby Griffin couldn’t save everyone. So, Clarke gave her support during the time from her place in Arkadia though she had offered to fly to D.C. for a little bit, but her mom had turned her down, saying she should stay with her friends. Clarke sighed and returned to the books she had been stacking on the shelves. Despite everything that had been happening, her job was the most normal thing out of all of it. So here she was, at Minerva Books on Monday morning.

“Clarke, do you have any plans for lunch?” Kane called from his office. He came into view between the books and leaned up against the door frame. “I was thinking we could just eat in since it’s still cold outside.”

“Sure, sounds great. Anything in mind?” She definitely wasn’t opposed to staying in the cozy store instead of going out into the snow again. She was starting to get sick of it.

“I was thinking burgers from Barcadia, they have some of the best in town.” He smiled his avuncular smile and Clarke smiled back.

“Sure, I’d love that. Thanks.” 

“Great, I’ll place the order now.”

Kane had gone to pick up the order when the bell sounded for the front door. Clarke made her way off the ladder and was about to round the corner to greet the customer when she didn’t see anyone. Thinking it was weird she was about to turn around when two hands came over her eyes and she gasped.

“Guess who, Princess.” Bellamy’s breath was hot against her ear and she could feel herself blush. _Yes, he still did that to her_.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” She laughed then turned to swat at his shoulder. “What are you doing here?” Bellamy grabbed her waist then brought her closer, kissing her in the process.

“I had a break so I decided to come see you.”

“You walked all the way here? In the snow?”

“A bit of fresh air never hurt anyone, Princess.” She couldn’t help but be excited to see him, she expected to be asleep when he came to bed and him gone when she woke up. “And I will always prefer spending time with you during this hell week than being stuck in my office.” He leaned down and kissed her again. Even over the past weekend he had been meeting with advisors and professors so she just sat in her room to try and sketch. She knew it sounded silly, but she missed him.

“Food!” Kane walked through the front door holding up a brown paper bag then smiled when he caught sight of Bellamy’s arms around Clarke. “Got what you both ordered.”

“You knew?” Clarke asked Kane before turning around to face Bellamy. “You planned this?” Bellamy gave her a lopsided grin that went straight to her heart.

“I couldn’t miss our lunch date, could I?” She smiled. _No, he couldn’t_.

Bellamy only had twenty minutes to eat before he had to be back on campus so he ate in silence while he listened to Kane talk about a new donor who had offered to turn over a lot of classic books that he thought Bellamy would love. Bellamy kept one of his arms around Clarke’s shoulders, rubbing small circles on her arm. She could tell that he had missed her too, it wasn’t like them to go so long without really being able to relax together unless they were sleeping.

All too soon Bellamy was having to go back to work but Kane offered to close the shop for ten minutes so he and Clarke could drive Bellamy back. They all loaded up in Kane’s old pick up truck and suddenly Clarke felt like she was a teenager again riding in her parents’ car bringing her date home. When they pulled up beside the Quad, Bellamy hopped out of the passenger seat and Clarke scooted over. She was about to tell him goodbye when he reached over and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

“Thanks for making my day, Princess.” He smirked.

“Come home tonight before I go to sleep.” She leaned into his hand and looked at him. She had it bad.

“I definitely plan on it.” He kissed her one last time then shut the door before turning and running up the steps as the clock tower chimed. _He better_.

On the ride back to the bookstore, Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little crestfallen. She had spent a lot of her time being by herself when she wasn’t with Wells when she was younger, and she didn’t have any siblings that she was around constantly, but after spending so much time with all of her friends every day it was hard to go back to being by herself. Though Kane did try to help. For the rest of the day she and Kane talked books and he said that he was sure the donor had some books on various artists and their lives, painting techniques, and paintings.

“Oh, I forgot that I have a surprise for you.” Kane’s eyes lit up as he disappeared into his office and then came back with some sort of cloth behind his back. “Close your eyes.” Clarke did as she was told and opened them when she heard him say, “Ta-dah!”

Kane was holding a shirt that said “Honorary Delinquent” and she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her chest.

“You weren’t kidding about the t-shirt!”

“Nope, definitely not.” He tossed the shirt to her and she pulled it over her long sleeve. “I hope you don’t mind, I guessed on the size.” It was a little more loose than what she would wear, but she loved it all the same.

“Thank you, Kane.”

“Anytime.” He smiled then his phone went off. “Duty calls, but it’s almost closing time so feel free to start closing down.” Then Kane disappeared into his office, shutting the door behind him.

\--- 

When Clarke got home she was surprised to see everyone milling about in the kitchen and even Octavia and Lincoln who seemed to be having a staring contest. _Surely something had to be going on for them all to come out of studying?_ She smiled and dropped her stuff by the door before making her way into the kitchen. Harper was at work stirring something while stopping every so often to shoo Monty and Jasper away from the batter, Raven was sitting by the sink typing on her phone at rapid speed, and Murphy was in the process of pulling something out of the oven. None of them looked up when she came in so she just hopped up onto the counter.

“What’s going on?”

“Clarke!”

“Surprise!” Everyone shouted in unison and Clarke couldn’t help but jump and nearly fall off the counter.

“What’s going on?” She laughed. Everyone was smiling at her and she didn’t know if she should feel calm or kind of freaked out.

“Did you _really_ forget your _own_ birthday?” Raven was staring daggers at her. Oh, right. Her birthday. _And Wells’ birthday._

“Do you realize how seriously we take birthdays here?” Octavia asked. Clarke smiled a little. They had all done this for her.

“Wells and I used to share our birthday together. Since mine was at the beginning of the month and his was at the end, we would celebrate our birthdays together right in the middle. I wasn’t thinking about it.” As she thought about it, she could feel tears starting to form. “This is my first birthday without him.”

It was Jasper who moved first, hugging her. Then Monty, Octavia, Raven, and Harper. When they stepped back Murphy showed up at her side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. Lincoln wasn’t much of a hugger, but he squeezed her arm in show of support.

“Wow, how lame am I? My best friends throw me a surprise party and I start crying.” She laughed a little and so did everyone else.

“You’re always lame, Griffin.” Murphy teased from beside her. She swatted him in the side before turning back to everyone else.

“Thank you, seriously. This is everything I could—” The front door of the house opened and closed and before she had time to turn around, everyone started singing happy birthday. Bellamy walked around the island, holding a _very_ delicious looking chocolate cake with exactly twenty-two candles on it. When they finished singing she leaned forward to blow out the candles. _She didn’t have to even think about what to wish for._

“What did you wish for, Princess?” Bellamy walked towards her and she could feel herself smile. 

“If I tell you it won’t come true.”

“That’s true, Bell, can’t ask.” Octavia wagged a finger at him and he smiled.

“Will you tell me if it comes true?” He asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.

“Definitely.”

For the rest of the night, Clarke sat around with her friends in the living room eating chocolate cake, ice cream, and cookies that Harper had baked. She knew that finals were stressful for them and she almost couldn’t believe that they had actually taken a break from studying to give her a birthday complete with a cake and a couple of beers.

“Don’t worry, when we celebrate the end of the semester this weekend we’ll give you a _proper_ birthday.” Raven promised her.

“You can bet on it.” Octavia smiled and Clarke knew that they planned to deliver.

“Did you tell Kane it was my birthday?” Clarke turned to Bellamy who had been laughing at something Murphy said.

“I may have mentioned it.” He smirked.

“Maybe that’s why he got me the t-shirt.” She laughed.

“T-shirt?” Bellamy’s eyebrows creased and she stood up, taking her hoodie off. Bellamy started laughing. “I haven’t seen a shirt like that in so long. Hold on.” He jumped off the couch and ran upstairs. Clarke turned to everyone else who started laughing then disappeared too. When they all came back down, they were each wearing their own “Honorary Delinquent” shirt and smiling like little kids.

“Get together, I’ll take a picture!” Octavia jumped up, her phone already out. Raven pulled Clarke over to where everyone else was standing and threw her arm around her shoulders while Bellamy wrapped his arm around her waist, Murphy stood beside Bellamy, and Jasper and Monty knelt down in front of them while holding their shirts out for the camera. “Say cheese!” Everyone smiled and when the picture had been taken, all of their phones dinged with a message from Octavia.

“This is perfect.” Clarke said as she looked down at it. “But now everyone!” She held her phone up and everyone crowded behind her. “There.”

All in all, her birthday had been better than she could have asked for. She thought about Wells and while her heart still ached, her friends made sure she didn’t dwell on it for long. After Octavia and Lincoln had headed home, Clarke found herself staring at her phone. Her mom hadn’t called her yet. She tried to push that thought out of her head as Monty and Jasper grabbed her and Harper for a game of Mario Kart.

After three games it had gotten close to everyone’s bedtime and Clarke knew that they all wanted to study a little before they went to sleep. They had given her more than what she could’ve expected with the promise of more on the way.  _She couldn't wait for Friday._  Bellamy grabbed her hand to help her off the couch before wrapping his arms around her.

“You know I’ve missed you, don’t you?” He asked, rubbing his nose against hers. She nodded.

“I’ve missed you too.” She brought her hands up to tangle her fingers in the black curls at the nape of his neck. He bent forward and kissed her. Slow and full of love.

“Come to bed with me.” _Yes, please_. She nodded and as he lead her up the stairs her phone rang. She sighed and went to turn it off when she saw _Mom_ flash across the screen. She showed it to Bellamy who just kissed her cheek and whispered, “I’ll be waiting.” She smiled then headed back down the stairs.

“Hey, mom.”

“Happy birthday, honey!” Her mom practically screamed over the line. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call earlier but between work and the lawyer I barely had time to breathe.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Things are hectic.”

“But, Clarke, it’s your birthday and I probably made you think I forgot.” She could hear the oncoming sadness in her mother’s voice. Of course there had been years where her mother wouldn’t tell her right away like her dad, but she never forgot. Even if she wasn’t home.

“You’ve never forgotten, mom. Seriously, I understand. It’s okay.”

“If you say so, honey. I have a present being shipped to you and it should arrive tomorrow. I had been planning to come take you out myself but after all of this started…” Her mom trailed off but seemed to recollect herself. “But, I would like to come sometime soon, if you’ll have me. I don’t want the next time we see each other to be the night of the dinner.” Abby had a point. There was a very good chance that the dinner wouldn’t end very well.

“I’d like that.” Clarke could feel a smile form on her face. She really would.

“Wonderful, I’ll make sure to keep in touch! So, what did you do today?”

Clarke ran through how she had pretty much forgotten that it was her birthday since she was so used to spending it with Wells and she could hear her mom choke up on the other end. Then she told her how she came home to everyone throwing her a surprise party and how Bellamy showed up with a cake and then sent her the pictures they had taken together.

“You look so happy, honey.” She could hear the emotion in her mother’s voice. “But I must say I expect more pictures from now on, I love seeing what you’re up to.”

“Of course, mom.”

Soon, her and her mom are saying their goodbyes and Clarke is making her way up to Bellamy’s room. What she had told Kane was right, everyone did need a parent. Despite everything they had gone through, she loved talking to her mom. When she pushed through the door to Bellamy’s room he was propped up in bed with a stack of papers in his lap and his black curls nearly touching the glasses he was wearing. And he was shirtless. When he looked up he smiled and Clarke could feel a smile make its way across her face just because of how happy he looked.

He put the papers and his glasses on his nightstand then stood up, walking towards her with a look in his eyes that spurred something low in her body. When he reached her, he threaded his fingers through her hair, tugging it back slightly so he could press his open lips against hers. She moaned in his mouth and he moved his hands down her body, picking her up by her thighs and walking her towards the bed.

“What do you want for your birthday, Princess?” He was propped over her, his eyes seemed to stare into her soul.

“You.” He smirked.

“You have me.”

Then he was kissing her again.

\--- 

Bellamy laid beside Clarke with the moonlight illuminating her golden hair. She was curled up against his side and he loved the feel of her skin on his. He hated the fact that finals week was so hectic for him, it meant he wasn’t able to spend as much time with her as he wanted. But he hoped she understood that when the week ended, he would make it up to her. He would tell her how he felt. He knew there was the possibility she wouldn’t say it back, at least not right away, but he could wait for that.

She gasped in her sleep and he smiled, reaching up to move a strand of hair out of her face. He couldn’t sleep, which he knew would come back to bite him tomorrow, but he loved watching her sleep. He was still nervous that she would be scared by his admittance and run away, but with a little reassurance from Murphy (of all people) he had enough courage to at least tell her. He closed his eyes, willing himself to go to sleep, when his phone dinged. _It’s nearly 1:00AM._ _Maybe it’s Octavia._ He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone, being blinded for a split second before his eyes adjusted.

_Bellamy, it’s Abby Griffin, I was wondering if you could help me with something?_  

He assumed it had to be very important if she was messaging him so late. He wondered how she even got her number. _Maybe Clarke gave it to her_.

_Sure, Abby. What do you need?_  

He had almost written Ms. Griffin but realized she probably wouldn’t like correcting him each time so he deleted it and called her Abby. _What could she possibly need his help with?_

_Wonderful! It’s something for Clarke._  
_Attachment: 1 image  
__Do you think you could get this together for me, please?_  

Bellamy stared at the picture Abby had sent him. Clarke was going to love it.

_Yes ma’am. I’ll try to get everything together tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been updating a lot recently but I think my new update days will be Thursdays. Picking a day seems to be the normal thing people do instead of updating whenever lol 
> 
> Any ideas on what the present is from Abby?? I love hearing what people think is going to happen next so let me know down in the comments!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday night.  
> *Please note that I have updated the tags*

Friday comes much faster than Clarke thought it would, but Kane, having received all of the books from the new donor, was partly to thank for that. When she had arrived at work on Wednesday there were five _very large_ boxes practically busting with new books that needed to be organized, priced, and shelved. Normally, Kane would do the pricing but he knew that there was no way he would be able to get them done himself so he and Clarke sat at the counter organizing the books by genre but putting some books aside that seemed like they were about to fall apart.

That’s pretty much how her shifts had gone since then, but Friday they finally finished putting all of the books away about halfway into her shift but a lot more people than usual were in and out of the store. She had no idea why, but she couldn’t complain. Kane sold a lot of books that day and, apparently, there were even more people calling to offer up their old, unwanted books. It was strange, but a good strange.

Clarke reaches up to grab the necklace that her mother had gotten her for her birthday. It's a silver olive branch from Tiffany’s that sits just below the hollow of her throat. It was simple but beautiful and Clarke absolutely loves it. When she had shown Bellamy he smiled and told her the story of Athena and the olive tree, effectively enrapturing Clarke. She had urged him to keep going and he did, until she was too tired to keep her eyes open.

Her phone goes off with the group message that had been near silent throughout the week and she smiles. She’s really looking forward to getting to hangout with everyone again. She enjoyed the time she had Monday and she knows that after the break she’s going to be on campus with them so she won’t be as bored as she has been recently. She actually can’t wait to get back to school.

\---

**The Delinquents**

**Raven:** last final is at 3:00pm biiittccheeessss

 **Monty:** I got 4:00pm

 **Jasper:** I just finished!

 **Bellamy:** I still have to proctor an exam at 4:00

 **Clarke:** those are all very different times to be taking exams

 **Murphy:** I do not envy any of u

*Bellamy has added Octavia to the group chat*

 **Octavia:** wow, im hurt. no one told me about this

 **Jasper:** we’re sorry, its mainly just a house group chat <3

 **Monty:** we love u Octavia <3

*Octavia has added Harper to the group chat*

 **Harper:** wow, y wasn’t I invited?

 **Octavia:** right? such betrayal

 **Murphy:** omfg I’m about to remove both of u

 **Bellamy:** Careful, Murphy

 **Clarke:** What time are we meeting?

 **Raven:** What time do you get off?

 **Clarke:** around 6:00PM

 **Bellamy:** I get out of the exam at 6:30, I’ll meet everyone there

 **Octavia:** awesome, it’s settled!

\---

Clarke finally locks up the bookshop and texts everyone that she's ( _finally_ ) on her way to The Dropship. After all of the stress of today she could use a drink, and Kane had said that they needed to celebrate the end of the semester soon and that he would invite everyone over for a game night. _Yes, despite her and her friends being in their twenties, he still invited them to play board games._

She rounds the corner, smiling at the thought of getting a night out with her friends, when hands fly out and grab her, dragging her into he shadows of an alley. She can’t tell who is holding onto her so she kicks out and flings her head back, making contact with a nose. “Fuck!” The voice causes her blood to run cold. _Cage_. He throws her against the wall of the coffee shop and her head makes a sickening _thump_ causing her to see stars. She can feel Cage’s fingers grip her neck, his manicured fingernails digging into her skin. She tries to gasp for air but it isn’t enough, he's cutting off her airflow and the edges of her vision are beginning to darken. He's pressing her against the concrete wall and she can’t move. 

She silently cursed herself for believing he had given up on trying to torment her. She hadn’t seen him since that day at the abandoned house with Murphy, and it wasn’t him who cut her mother’s break line. _She had convinced everyone she could walk to the bar alone tonight._

“No one can embarrass me and get away with it.” Cage growls in her ear. “My father may have moved past the situation but I haven’t. You deserve to be taught a lesson.” Clarke looks at his face, it's twisted in anger with blood running from his nose and she can smell his expensive cologne and whiskey.

“You’re pathetic.” Clarke spits. She's running out of air. She tries yanking her wrists away from his grip but he's too strong. His left hand is gripping her neck while his right hand held her hands behind her back, and her right arm is starting to throb from the way it was twisted.

“And you’re alone.” His words make bile rise in her throat. She hadn’t made it to the bar yet, her friends knew she was on her way, but they didn’t know where she was. She tried not to let her mind travel to where they were: behind the Secret Garden about two blocks from the bar. _Surely they would notice it’s taken her too long to get there from the shop and come looking for her, right?_ She knew that there was no one coming, but the thought was comforting. Somewhat. “What should I do with you, hm?”

“Let…me…go.” Her words come out as whispers and he loosens his grip on her neck.

“Oh no, we can’t have you passing out just yet.” He sneers at her and Clarke spits in his face. He lets go of her neck completely and she starts gasping for air then he rears back and slaps her, his ring cutting her cheek. Before she can orient herself his hand is back at her throat. She tries screaming but she doesn’t have enough air. “No one is coming to save you.”

Cage pulls her forward then throws her back against the wall and then onto the ground. She's dizzy, her head is throbbing, everything hurts. She rolls onto her stomach to try and get away but he steps over her and grabs her hair, lifting the upper part of her body off the ground.

“Over…a… _video_?” She could barely force the words out. _Jaha had been right, Cage was obsessed. And he was psychotic._

“There’s no where for you to run, Clarke.” He shoves her head back to the ground but she moves her arms to protect her head before she hits it. “You need to be taught a lesson.” Clarke closes her eyes. _This was really happening_. Cage stepped to one of her sides and she curls up, expecting him to kick out at her. Suddenly, she hears someone running, their footsteps getting louder, then a yell and the sound of a body hitting the ground.

Clarke looks up and sees Cage lying on the ground with someone on top of him—no, not someone _, Bellamy_. Relief floods through Clarke’s aching body but it quickly disappears when she realizes what’s happening. She tries forcing herself up but she falls so she settles on crawling over. His fists keep connecting with Cage’s face and Clarke can see that there’s more blood pouring from Cage’s nose and cuts littering is face. Bellamy is straddling Cage with a look on his face that Clarke has never seen. She doesn’t want to stop it, but she knows that she can’t let it continue.

“Bellamy!” Clarke’s voice is hoarse but she knows Bellamy heard her, though he doesn’t stop. “Bellamy, look at me!” She crawls towards him more. “Bellamy.” He stops punching Cage then looks over at her, his eyes are clouded and his hands are bloody. “ _Take me home_ , Bellamy.”

Bellamy stands up and pulls Cage after him, holding him by the front of his shirt. He says something to Cage that Clarke can’t hear before he throws him against the wall then turns back towards Clarke. She starts to notice some redness on his face from where Cage must have grabbed or hit him. She thinks back to the story he told her about, about the night he beat up his mom’s boyfriend. He said that he hadn’t wanted to stop then, but he stopped now. He bends down and lifts Clarke up and into his arms, carrying her out of the alley while Cage still struggles to breathe.

It doesn’t take long for him to reach his truck and Clarke vaguely wonders why he didn’t park near the bar. He gently puts Clarke into the passenger side then hops in the driver seat. The blood on his knuckles is already dried and Clarke takes his right hand in her left, touching him always calms her down. He speeds down the road and neither of them say anything. How do you say something after what just happened? He gently untwines their fingers, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. He had never done that before.

“I need to take you to a hospital.” His voice is barely above a whisper.

“I’m okay, Bellamy. I just want to go home.” He doesn’t respond, and he doesn’t look at her, but he turns down the road she knows the house is on. They pull into the driveway and Bellamy reaches across Clarke to open the passenger door, his eyes not meeting hers.

“Bellamy?”

“You should get inside.” Both of his hands are gripping the steering wheel and he’s staring straight ahead. _Something is wrong_.

“We should both get inside, you mean?” Clarke’s stomach is in her throat and she can feel fear gripping her heart.

“No.” His voice is low and his knuckles are turning white from how hard he is gripping the steering wheel. “I’m not coming.”

“Bellamy, come inside and we can talk—”

“No, Clarke. I can’t—” He takes a deep breath then lets it out slowly. “I need you to go inside.”

“Bell—”

“Get the fuck inside, Clarke.” His voice is hard, it even causes him to flinch at his words, and it causes something inside Clarke to break. _He’s leaving_. She can feel the tears starting to sting her eyes. He wants to leave her. “I’m sorry, just, _please go inside_.”

Clarke doesn’t try to say anything, she knows that if she does then she’ll break down and she’s too angry with him to do that. She pushes the passenger door open and gets out, gritting her teeth at the pain. She slams the door behind her, turning to glare at Bellamy but he’s still not looking at her. She limps towards the front door and when she reaches it, she can feel her tears run down her face. It takes her a few tries to get the key into the lock but when she does she pushes the door open and turns to look at Bellamy, but he’s already backing out of the driveway.

She watches him back into the road then he pauses, just for a second, and turns to her, their eyes lock for a fraction of a second then he drives off. What’s left of Clarke’s composure breaks and she shuts the front door behind her before she falls to the ground. Her chest hurts, she can’t breathe, and she can’t feel anything but pain. She can feel the knot on her head begin to throb, where Cage’s hand gripped her neck feels tight, the cut on her cheek hurts, but what hurts the most is the feeling that something has been broken inside of her. Cage had wanted to hurt her, and he did, and then the person she loves most left her.

Clarke stays on the floor crying, one hand covering her chest and the other covering her mouth. She knows she should get up, try to get to her room, or the bathroom, even the couch, but she can’t move. Her body is too tired, she’s in pain, she can’t go anywhere. She just stays kneeling on the floor, willing her pain to get washed out with her tears.

\---

_Wells is sitting with her in the office, waiting for her dad to pick them up. The two of them had been at recess when Clarke finally decided to do the monkey bars on her own, she had practiced at the park with her dad walking under her, waiting in case she fell, but she had done it without any help. She thought she could do it. She had been wrong._

_Wells had run to get a teacher then raced back to her, pushing everyone out of the way that had crowded around her. When they tried telling Wells that recess was over and he needed to go back to class, he had thrown a fit saying he wasn’t leaving Clarke and that he was going with her._

_“It’s okay, Clarke.” Wells reaches up to wipe away the tears still streaming down her face. “You can eat all the ice cream you want now!”_

_“It hurts.” More sobs rack her body and Wells rubs his hand across her back._

_“Clarke!” Her dad rushed into the office and she tried sitting up a little straighter at her father’s voice. “Oh, my little girl.”_

_The scene changes and suddenly Clarke is staring at her father from her seat beside his bed. He barely looks like the man that had picked her and Wells up from school that day, having lost so much weight since he had been diagnosed. His head turns towards her as she reaches over to take up his hand in hers._

_“There’s my little girl.” Clarke can feel the lump in the back of her throat and the tears stinging her eyes. “You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman. I’m glad I got to see you grow up.” The tears came freely now and her father reached up to wipe them away. “I love you, sweetheart.”_

_“I love you too, daddy.”_

_The scene changes again and she’s being hauled out of the room by Wells while the nurses and doctors run in with the crash kit. She’s screaming for him to let her go, but he doesn’t. He drags her down the hall and into an empty waiting room. She beats against his chest and he tightens his hold on her. She knows her dad isn’t coming back._

_Now she’s waking up in the hospital, Wells’ face coming into view as soon as she opens her eyes._

_“Sleeping beauty awakens.”_

_“Wells? What happened?”_

_“Car crash. Some fucker t-boned us on your side of the car. I was worried you wouldn’t wake up.” He reaches over and grabs her hand._

_“But, the crash—” She realizes what’s happening. “Why do I keep dreaming about you?” He shrugs._

_“Maybe you can’t get enough of my insightful wisdom.” He smiles._

_“That’s totally it.” She rolls her eyes and he laughs._

_“I’m sorry, Clarke.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Where the fuck is Bellamy?” Wells’ lips move, but it’s not his voice_. _Clarke knows that voice._

_“I don’t know, Raven. He’s not answering.” Murphy?_

_“What the fuck happened?”_

Clarke wakes up and she’s immediately aware of the pain threatening to split her head apart. She tries opening her eyes but it takes a second for them to actually comply. She can hear hushed voices all around her but she can’t tell where exactly they’re coming from. When her eyes finally open she’s greeted by glowing stars and dark blue walls.

“Clarke.” Octavia’s blue eyes come into view and her eyes force themselves to focus on her strained face. “Clarke, are you okay?”

All the events from the night flood into her mind and she can feel the tears starting to swell up. She remembers Cage, the blood, Bellamy. _Oh god, Bellamy_. She tries to force herself to sit up but her arms won’t support her. She feels Octavia’s hand come up and press against her upper back, slowly easing her towards the bed again. What she remembers couldn’t have actually happened. _Could it?_ Bellamy wouldn’t leave her.

“My head hurts.” Her voice is raspy and she wishes for some water.

“Clarke?” She looks over to see Raven staring at her from the doorway with Murphy beside her. She moves forward, uncapping a bottle of water before handing it to Octavia who slowly puts her hand under Clarke’s neck to support her while she sips on the bottle. “ _What happened, Clarke?”_ Raven sits on the side of the bed, taking Clarke’s hand in hers.

“C—Cage.” She can hear Murphy swear under his breath and then commotion in the hallway.

“Clarke?”

“Is she awake?” Jasper and Monty peek around Murphy into the bedroom and before Clarke can register what’s happening, everyone is surrounding her bed. Octavia is sitting in her desk chair beside her, Raven is sitting beside her on the bed, Monty and Jasper are sitting at her feet, and Murphy is standing beside Raven.

“Cage attacked m—me, when I was walking to the bar.” She gulps and Octavia gives her more water. “Bell—Bellamy,” her voice breaks as she remembers what happened, “he came out of nowhere and tackled Cage. He beat him.” She can hear Octavia whisper ‘ _oh my god’_ under her breath. “I yelled for him and he didn’t stop at first, but when I did I told him to bring me home. Then—” _how was she supposed to say this? He brought her home then told her to go inside. He left her._ She can feel the tears falling down her face. “Then he told me to go inside and he left.” A sob racks her body and she is in immediate pain. “ _Tylenol.”_

“I got it.” Monty jumps up and disappears out her door.

“How did I get in my bed?”

“Bellamy sent a message in the group message saying you were hurt and that we needed to come home.” Raven’s voice is soft. Much softer than what Clarke was used to.

“Except when we got home we found you on the floor and Bellamy was nowhere to be found.” Murphy is rigid as he moves to the foot of her bed, his usual air of couldn’t-care-less was gone. He sounded angry.

“Here you go.” Monty returns with a near full bottle of Tylenol and places it on Clarke’s nightstand after giving her two tablets.

“No one has heard from him?” Clarke knows what the answer would be, but she still felt like she needed to ask. Everyone shook their heads.

“He’s not even accepting calls from me.” Octavia seems hurt, but she also seems pissed as well. Clarke was about to respond when her phone begins going off. Murphy fishes it out of his back pocket then scowls.

“Who is it?” Murphy doesn’t respond but instead, he answers it.

“You have some nerve calling her, Wallace.” _It was Cage?_ Raven gets up and takes the phone away from him, putting it on speaker.

“My son was assaulted tonight and I’m very curious as to who could’ve done it.” Dante’s voice is hard, but Clarke could also tell that he seems tired.

“Your son assaulted Clarke, he deserved what he got.” Raven fires back.

“That’s not how he tells it.”

“And, what, you just believe everything your son says at face value?” Octavia had gotten up from her seat and was now staring down at the little device.

“No, I don’t.” Dante sighs on the other end. “Is Clarke there?”

“I don’t think she wants to talk to you right now.” Murphy says. With how he is looking at her phone, she was surprised it didn’t burst into flames.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“ _Clarke._ ” Raven turns and stares at her.

“ _I’ll talk to him.”_ Raven sighs then hands the phone over to her.

“Dante.”

“Clarke, I’m only going to ask once and I want you to be honest with me. What happened tonight?” Clarke closes her eyes then runs through everything, in detail, about what had happened. “Cage tells me it was Bellamy Blake who showed up.” Clarke hesitates, she didn’t want Dante to go after him. Dante seems to realize that she wasn’t going to talk so he sighed again. “I don’t want to hurt him, Clarke, I just want to know the truth. You have my word.” Clarke looks towards Octavia, silently asking if she should tell him, and Octavia gives her a nod.

“Yes, it was Bellamy.”

“I thought so.” She could hear some rustling in the background before Dante spoke again. “I truly am sorry about what happened tonight, Clarke, and I can assure you that you will not hear or see from Cage again.”

“I feel like that should’ve already happened.” Murphy mumbles under his breath and both Raven and Octavia elbow him in the sides.

“Yes, I know. Clarke, if you need anything, you only have to ask. I hope you recover quickly.” And with that, the line goes dead.

Clarke is left staring at her phone. Her room is spinning and her vision is starting to blur. She can’t handle everything that is flooding through her mind and she's finding it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. She doesn’t want to fall back asleep, it only causes her to relieve things that she didn’t want to remember, but she doesn’t want to have the feeling that something had been ripped from her chest. She can feel herself crying and Octavia takes the chair beside the bed again and grabs her hand.

“I love him.” Octavia’s eyes soften and she reaches up to move some hair out of Clarke’s face.

“I know.”

\---

Bellamy had driven around for hours, trying to calm his racing mind with the road and a pint of rum he found in his glovebox (probably Murphy’s). He had gotten out of the exam early and saw Clarke’s message saying that she was on her way to the bar so he decided that he’d meet her along the way and pick her up. He hadn’t been thinking. He knew that Cage was still a problem, she had either been getting Uber rides to work or Kane would pick her up and then he had even been dropping her off. _It was only two blocks_. He should’ve went to the bookstore first, even if Clarke had said that she could walk to the bar alone. _Even if he had agreed to let her walk alone._ He hit the steering wheel. _It was his fault. It was his fault and she got hurt. He had even raised his voice at her. She saw him as a monster._

He pulls onto a familiar road and comes to a stop outside a house he knows as well as his own. Pulling out his key, he unlocks the front door and lets himself inside, going straight for the liquor cabinet. He grabs the bottle of Eagle Rare bourbon and chugs. It burns, but he revels in it. He looks down at his hands that are covered in dried blood. _He needs this off of him_. He stumbles down the hall into the bathroom, drinking from the bottle as he goes. He bends over the sink, grabbing the soap and trying to scrub his skin clean. Rust color liquid washes down the drain and he’s vaguely aware of tears streaming down his face. Suddenly he’s hitting his knees at the toilet as he pukes. He doesn’t hear the heavy steps coming down the hall and isn’t aware of the person behind him until they speak.

“ _Bellamy!”_ Kane’s voice rings in his ears. “Bellamy, what happened?” Bellamy, who had finished dry heaving, leans against the wall, staring down at his hands. “Bellamy, son, talk to me. Whose blood is that?” Kane kneels beside him.

“Cage Wallace’s.” Bellamy looks up at Kane, tears streaming down his face. “I’m a monster.”

“No, you’re not, Bellamy,” Kane lifts Bellamy’s arm up and slings it around his shoulders. “You’re drunk. Come on, let’s get up.”

“She thinks I’m a monster.” Bellamy grunts as Kane helps him to his feet. He reaches over for the bottle but Kane takes it and sets it back down on the counter.

“No she doesn’t, you’re assuming she does but I doubt you’ve actually talked to her.”

“She saw me.” Bellamy can feel himself starting to slip into darkness as Kane tightens his grip on him and they make their way up the stairs. “Cage attacked her on the way to the bar, and then I attacked him.”

“How long ago did this happen, Bellamy?”

“She got off at six.”

“It’s nearly nine, Bellamy, where have you been?”

“Driving. And a little bit of drinking.”

“We’ve had this talk, Bellamy, you’re not a teenager anymore.” Kane pushes the door open to the bedroom that Bellamy had unofficially claimed as his own years ago. Kane manages to pull back the covers and Bellamy plops down onto the bed, unable to keep his eyes open.

“I love her.”

“I know you do, son. And I know she loves you too.”

“Not after tonight.”

“We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Bellamy is sure he mumbled something in response but he knows it probably wasn’t coherent.

He dreams of nothing. Lately his mind had been dominated by Clarke both while he was awake and when he was sleeping, but (probably due to the excessive amount of alcohol) there was nothing but darkness between him closing his eyes and opening them again. And he’s glad.

\---

When Clarke wakes up again it’s dark outside and she’s not sure what time it is or how long she’s been out. In the haziness of having just woken up she can make out a person in the chair next to her bed but it isn’t until a familiar hand reaches out and wraps around hers that she realizes who it is.

“Clarke, honey.” Abby’s tear stained face comes into focus. “How are you feeling?” Clarke goes to speak but nothing comes out, her throat is _really_ dry. Without needing to be told Abby reaches over and grabs the glass of water. When she moves to help Clarke sit up, Clarke finds that her body doesn’t object this time.

“My entire body hurts.” Her mom wastes no time handing her two more Tylenol. “How did you—"

“Raven called me, frantic. I got in about an hour ago. Why didn’t you go to the hospital?”

“I didn’t—I couldn’t—” Abby nods her head when Clarke can’t finish her sentence. She was barely able to go into the hospital after her father died and definitely not after Wells. “Where is everyone else?” Abby nods her head towards the rest of the room. Clarke turns and she sees all of her friends spread across her floor, all asleep. As she looks more she notices a body right beside her bed, it’s Murphy.

“Since you’re not slurring your speech and you seem to be coherent then I don’t think you have a concussion. Are you hungry?” As if on cue her stomach growls and her mom smiles. “I’ll go make you something.” Abby pushes off the chair and makes her way to the door. Clarke leans back against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling and her glowing stars.

“Did you know you snore?” Clarke jumps at the disembodied voice but settles when she processes that it’s Murphy’s. “How are you really feeling?”

“I’m tired.”

“After sleeping for the past seven hours?” She knows Murphy is just trying to tease her, but she’s not in the mood.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do.” She can hear Murphy turn over. “He’ll come back, he’s just…not in a good place right now.”

“I’m not either, but he still left me.” Clarke’s heart feels like it’s breaking again.

“Don’t give up on him, Clarke. One thing about him, is he blames himself for everything. Octavia said he probably blames himself for what happened to you.”

“No one has heard from him?”

“No, but it’s not like we haven’t tried.” She can hear Murphy sigh. “We’ll find him, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that hurt to write and I actually teared up a little!  
> And this chapter is *officially* the longest chapter of the entire work (as of right now)
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Was it blatantly obvious where I was going with this?  
> I wonder where this is going to go...do you have an idea? Let me know down in the comments!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x
> 
> Also, I just posted a one shot called “Wait For Me (Marry You)” so if you’re feeling up for something short and cute after this chapter then check it out! :)


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I had an exam to study for 
> 
> But this is Saturday...

When Clarke wakes up on Saturday, her body aches and her head still hurts but she feels more alive than she had the night before. Raven was sitting in the chair next to her bed, typing away on her phone, when Clarke sits up.

“Hey, Griffin, how’s the head?” Raven leans forward and gives her a soft smile.

“It’s better, but I feel like I need a shower.”

“I’m glad you said it.” Raven teases. Clarke gets out of bed and Raven is beside her, making sure she’s steady on her feet. Clarke walks across the hallway and Raven hovers at the doorway. “Think you’ll be okay to shower?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Raven.” Clarke smiles and even though Raven seems like she doesn’t believe her, she still shuts the door.

“If I hear something fall I’m busting in here!”

Clarke laughs dryly and shakes her head. Raven is serious. She kicks her pants off first and notices the bruises on her knees from when she hit the ground, her hands feel raw from where they scraped against the concrete, and she can see fingerprint bruises around her neck and on her wrists. She can also see where Cage’s ring cut into her cheek. When she takes her shirt off, there's bruises on her back too.

She turns the shower on high and before long there is steam coming from above the curtain and Clarke steps in, loving how it nearly burns her skin. She takes her time to massage the shampoo through her hair, careful to avoid the knot that had formed. Then she takes her sponge and scrubs as hard as she can against her skin without pressing on her bruises. It's like all of the events of the night before replay out in her head. Her tears get washed away in the falling water. _She needs to get out_. Staying in the shower for so long only allows her to keep thinking about everything that happened, and she doesn’t want to do that. She hurries and finishes up then gets out, padding her way back into her room. She picks up the first t-shirt and pair of sweatpants she sees, but she didn’t noticed that the shirt was Bellamy’s.  _It's going to be okay, Clarke._

Clarke makes her way down the stairs and sees that everyone had piled into the living room, and it's weird. Murphy is actually sitting on the armchair, not draped across it like he usually is, Abby is sitting on one end of the loveseat with Raven on the other, Octavia, Monty, and Jasper are sitting on the couch with Lincoln leaning on the back of it. It’s everyone she knows and loves but the way they’re sitting makes the situation not as comfortable as she would've liked.  _I need a drink_.

“Good morning.” Everyone’s heads turned towards Clarke as she reached the doorway to the living room. She really wished they wouldn’t look at her like that. She could tell that they were looking at the bruises on her neck.

“Good morning, honey. How are you feeling?” Abby sits up a little straighter, but Clarke can still see the strain in her shoulders.

“I feel fine.” She crossed the room to get into the kitchen. _Alcohol._  She climbed on top of the counter and reached for the cabinets that were above the refrigerator, grabbing the bottle of Knob Creek bourbon, and jumping back down to the floor.

“How are you really?” It was Raven who asked, turning her patented Reyes stare towards her. “Don’t bullshit either.” Clarke didn’t look at her but instead busied herself by pouring a glass.

“I mean…” Clarke sighed and took a sip of her drink. It burned but she didn’t care, she welcomed it. “What do you want me to say? That I can’t move without feeling Cage’s hand around my neck? Or that anytime I move my arms it feels like he’s still pining them behind my back? Do I tell you that I want to breakdown and cry but I’m so angry that I don’t know _what_ to do with myself?” 

She looked at her friends and none of them seemed to really know what to say. Jasper and Monty were looking down at the floor, and Raven and Octavia were staring at her with looks Clarke couldn’t place. She knew she looked bad, she was bruised and trying to drown her feelings in alcohol. When she looked at her mom, Abby’s eyes were watery. Murphy was twirling his phone in his hand, not looking at her either, but the tension in his shoulders said that he was angry. But he had every right to be.

“ _Do what you want_ , Clarke.” It was Murphy who spoke. “If you want to cry, then cry, if you want to get angry, _get angry_. There’s no certain way for you to respond to any of this. You were attacked, the guy who you love left you—”

“ _Murphy!”_ It was Abby who spoke but Raven, who had turned her head towards Murphy spoke up.

“No, let him say this.” Raven watched as Murphy stood up and walked towards the kitchen.

“ _What do you feel_ , Clarke?” Murphy moved towards her and she tipped back the rest of her drink, glaring at him. “Don’t bottle up your emotions or drown them because you know it's not going to work. Who are you angry with? Are you angry with yourself? What about Bellamy?”

“Stop, Murphy.” She gripped the glass still in her hands.

“Are you angry with him for leaving? What are you going to do about it? Sit here and feel bad for yourself or are you going to do something about it? Are you going to roll over and let this consume you or are you going to fight?” He stopped in front of her, his eyes hard. 

“Murphy, please.” She could feel hot tears start to fall down her face.

“ _What are you going to do, Clarke?_ ”

“I’m going to fight!” She practically screamed and she watched as something changed in Murphy’s eyes.

“You can’t let this take over your life. You’ve gone through too much to let this break you.”

Clarke had to admit, everything felt like it was crushing her but she knew that Murphy was trying to kick her in the ass before she fell down a hole she wouldn’t be able to climb out of. When her dad had died, Wells let her cry for a day before dragging her out of her room and forcing her outside into the sunlight. He had told her that she needed to grieve, it didn’t mean that she could just stay in her room in the pitch black under a blanket staring at a wall.

“But I’m tired, Murphy.” She looked down at the glass in her hand before turning to the bottle again. She just _really_ wanted a drink.

“You’re allowed to have a day to process everything, Clarke.” Octavia got up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen too. “But you are not allowed to just sit around wallowing in it and drinking the pain away.”

“And you’re not alone in this.” Clarke turned her gaze towards Monty who was now beside Octavia.

“You have us whether you want us or not, Clarke, and we’re not going anywhere.” Raven had gotten up too.

“We’re family.” Jasper made his way to the group that had formed in the kitchen and suddenly Clarke was crying for a whole different reason. All of her friends wrapped their arms around her and they stood in the kitchen while Clarke cried.

She cried about what happened, she cried about Bellamy leaving her, she cried for Wells, she cried for her dad, wishes for all of them to be there, and in the end her friends all told they loved her and got her water and made their way into the living room. Her eyes felt heavy and her head was throbbing, but Abby was there with more water and some antiseptic for the cut on her face.

“It’s all my fault, hon. I’m so sorry.” Abby’s voice was low as she dabbed the Q-tip onto Clarke’s skin. “If I hadn’t pushed for you and Cage then—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, mom.” Clarke brought her eyes up to look at her mother’s face. She seemed to have aged six years since the last time she saw her. “You couldn’t have known that’d he’d become unhinged.”

“But I knew about the human testing, I just, I didn’t think…”

“That it was true?”

“Yes.” Abby sighed. “I didn’t believe it was true until after the dinner then I realized just how naïve I had been.” Abby finished with the antiseptic and then put a little butterfly bandage on the cut. “I know I haven’t been the best mother, Clarke, but I want you to know that I’m here. What happened last night is going to take some time to process but I want to help you, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course, mom.” Clarke could feel tears start to run down her face again. “I’m glad you’re here.” She moved forward and wrapped her arms around her mom’s neck. Abby hugged her back, holding onto her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Maybe she was, to her.

“I have something for you.” When Abby pulled back Clarke could see that her mom had been crying too. “It probably seems inappropriate now, but it was supposed to be part of your birthday present and it only just got completed. Do you want to open it?” Her mother seemed unsure, but if it was something that could potentially bring even the slightest relief then, why not?

“Yeah, of course.” Abby stood up and disappeared down the hallway but then came back with a thin, large, rectangular box. Clarke took the box from her mother and opened one of the ends. When she began pulling the object out, she realized it was a canvas. A very large canvas. Clarke turned it around and her breath caught in her throat.

She was in the center of the painting, dirtied and wearing worn out clothing but she looked strong, then there was Bellamy to her left wearing a worn out uniform and holding a gun, Raven was to her right with her signature red jacket and a walkie-talkie in her hand, Jasper was next to her with his goggles perched on top of his head and Monty standing next to him, then beside Bellamy was Octavia in similar clothing to what she wore for Halloween, then there was Murphy, and even Lincoln. Behind them was a huge spaceship that Clarke remembered drawing after one of her dreams. Her mom had taken her dystopian dreams and drawings and turned them into a huge painting.

“Holy shit.” Octavia’s voice came from behind her. “That’s amazing.”

“Damn, I look good.” Murphy smirked from beside Octavia.

“I look so badass.” Raven poked her head around Clarke’s shoulder.

“Mom, how did you—who—?”

“I got Isabelle Marino to do a commission.”

“ _Isabelle Marino_? _The_ Isabelle Marino? Mom, you _didn’t!_ ” Clarke was stunned. Isabelle Marino had been an artist Clarke loved for practically her entire life. She wasn’t _big_ but she was big enough to where it would cost a pretty penny to get something commissioned specifically. Clarke had always loved her dystopian work. “And these are based off of some of my drawings. How did you get those?”

“I had a helper.”

“Bellamy?” Clarke knew without even having to ask, but she did anyways. Abby shrugged. Clarke's heart constricted as she turned to her friends around her, her heart pounding in her chest. “Has anyone heard from him?”

“Not yet, but we will soon.” Raven squeezed her shoulder but she could feel her heart trying to break even more.

“Is that us?” Jasper and Monty popped up behind Clarke too, staring at the painting.

“Come on, let’s find somewhere to hang it.” Raven squeezed Clarke’s shoulders. _They definitely weren’t going to give her enough time to think about anything._

\---

When Bellamy wakes up he makes a mad dash to the bathroom connected to the bedroom, heaving into the toilet. When he’s done, all of the events from the night before come crashing into his mind and his chest feels like it’s going to cave in. He beat Cage. He left Clarke. _He fucking left Clarke._ Just the thought alone was enough to make his heart feel like it was tearing itself apart. He couldn’t breathe. He closed his eyes and tried taking some deep breaths.

“Bellamy!” He opened his eyes at the sound of his sister’s voice. “Get away from me, Kane, I know he’s here! _Bellamy_!” He could hear her footsteps coming up the stairs and stop outside his bedroom door. She started banging hard enough to where he thought she was going to break it down.

“He needs some time, Octavia.” Kane’s voice was low on the other side of the door.

“You know who else needs something? Clarke. _She_ _needs_ _you_ Bellamy. She needs help through this, just like you do, but you left her. I know this is bringing up old memories that are better left forgotten, Bell, but you’re older now and you can’t just run away from it!” She pounded on the door some more. "Fucking answer me!"

“Octavia.” Bellamy knew that the tone of Kane’s voice was enough to get Octavia to stop. God, he hated this. If Octavia was angry with him then he was sure everyone else was too.

“Fine. But, Bell?” He turned his head towards the sound of her voice. “What you’ve done is not who you are. I know you blame yourself for last night just like you blame yourself for mom dying, but sitting around and isolating yourself because you feel like you deserve it is not going to change what’s happened. You need to let us be there for you, you need to be there for Clarke, and—" He could hear her sniffle, "you need to come home, big brother.”

And with that, she was gone. Bellamy leaned his head against the wall and stared into light on the ceiling. He couldn’t face anyone right now. He had wanted to kill Cage, and he would have, but the thought of Clarke watching…he couldn’t do that. He knew he was a monster, but was he really that much of a monster for wanting to kill the guy who attacked Clarke? Cage was a monster, too. _He deserved it. He_ —Bellamy was torn out of his thoughts by his door opening.

“Son?” Bellamy forced himself to his feet, shaking slightly, before he made his way back into the bedroom. “How are you feeling?” Kane’s arms were crossed against his chest and he was looking at Bellamy with concern.

“Empty.” Bellamy sunk onto the bed and hung his head. “I fucked up royally, Kane.” _Was it normal to feel numb after something like this?_

“You were protecting the girl you love, Bellamy. There’s nothing wrong about that.”

“I wanted to _kill_ him.” He snapped his head up towards Kane. “I wanted to beat him until the light went from his eyes. I knew I should’ve stopped, I could hear Clarke telling me to, but I didn’t _want to._ _I didn’t want to stop!”_ Bellamy was standing now, his hands in fists at his sides. But Kane didn’t move, he didn’t back away, he looked at Bellamy the same way he had when found Bellamy breaking down at his mother’s funeral. “I’m a monster.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“You’re not a monster, Bellamy.” Kane un-crossed his arms and placed a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder. “You were angry—you _are_ angry, and I know Octavia was right when she said you blame yourself for what happened. Anyone in your situation would have wanted to kill Cage, but the difference between you and someone else is that you stopped. Despite wanting to, you didn’t.”

“I doubt anyone else in my situation would have actually killed him.”

“Well, I guess we’ll never know for sure unless someone is put into the situation.” The way Kane spoke made Bellamy look up at him. “So, what are you going to do? Are you going to go home or are you going to stay here?”

Bellamy knew what Kane was saying. He was asking if Bellamy was going to face the situation head on or if he was going to hide from it. And, truthfully, right now, he just wanted to sleep.

“I’m tired.”

“Alright," Kane nodded his head, "well there will be food when you wake up.” Then he walked out the room, shutting the door behind him.

Bellamy laid in bed trying to sleep for hours, but he either dreamed of blood or Clarke looking at him like he was the worst person she had ever met. He couldn’t handle it. He pushed the covers off of himself and made his way downstairs. The house was dark, and judging by the lock on the microwave it was almost midnight. Kane had been right about there being food so he grabbed a little bit of chicken. When he got back up to his room he checked his phone and seeing all of the texts from Clarke broke his heart even more.

_Bellamy, are you okay?_  
I need you  
Octavia says you blame yourself, but I hope you know it’s not your fault  
You saved me  
I miss you  
I just wish I knew if you were okay  
My mom just gave me my birthday present, it’s beautiful. Thank you for helping her  
Please come back to me

God, he wanted to answer her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay. But she didn’t know that he would’ve killed Cage if she hadn’t been there. And if she did find out, how would she see him then? He knows he loves her, and he knows she loves him despite her not actually having said the words (well, while awake that is), but after last night, after he tells her what he felt, could he watch all of the love and affection drain from her face and turn into disgust? _No, he doesn’t think so_.

He pushes himself off of the bed and makes his way into the bathroom, rummaging through the medicine cabinet until he finds something to help him sleep. _Melatonin, perfect._ He takes two then falls onto his bed again. Within fifteen minutes he’s pulled into the darkness, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Predictions? Let me know what you think down in the comments!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Different point(s) of view...
> 
> I really had to struggle to not post this sooner

“It’s been over a week, I’m surprised we haven’t done this sooner.”

“Yeah, well, it’s time for Bellamy to get his shit together.” Raven huffed as she slid into he driver seat. “When Clarke went over there three days ago she said that Kane wouldn’t even let her in the house.”

“I remember.” Murphy was in the passenger seat staring out the window. “She’s taking this a lot better than I would’ve imagined.”

“What can I say? Our girl’s a badass." Raven began pulling out of the driveway. "Speaking of, do you think she’ll be okay?” Raven couldn’t help but cast a nervous glance at the house before pulling out into the street. Clarke didn’t know where her and Murphy were going, just that they had to run some errands.

“She’s fine, you saw her. She’s a Clarke sandwich between Monty and Jasper and they’re watching _Big Hero 6_.”

“Alright then, remember the plan?” She glanced at Murphy and he smirked at her.

“You distract and I climb.” Well, yeah, that was pretty much it.

“All of this is such bullshit.” Raven mumbled under her breath and she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. She didn’t know what Bellamy’s reasoning was exactly for just dropping Clarke off at the house last Friday night but she had to admit, she was still pretty pissed. _No one can just dump someone then leave like that._ “Who the fuck does that?”

“Right.” Murphy sighed beside her. “Knowing him you would think he would’ve stayed with her and nursed her back to health. If _he_ left, then there’s something more going on here.”

“God this is one dysfunctional group.”

“But you have to admit, Reyes, we’re pretty awesome.” Murphy nudged her a little with his elbow and she could feel her face soften from the permanent scowl that seemed to have been cemented on her face.

They sat in silence for the rest of the drive. Raven knew Bellamy, she’d lived with him for years, he had picked her up after the whole Finn thing and took care of her when she had her bad days, so the fact that he left the girl he’s in love with was definitely out of character. But also knowing Bellamy, she knew that Octavia was right in that he probably blamed himself. Hell, they all blamed themselves. They all knew they shouldn’t have let Clarke walk to the bar, but it was only two blocks. _Only. Two. Fucking. Blocks_. Raven tightened her grip on the steering wheel some more and her knuckles turned white.

“As soon as we pull up—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Raven.” Murphy grumbled as she pulled into Kane’s driveway. His curtains were closed so that meant he definitely wouldn’t see two people in the car, and Murphy was fast enough to where Kane just wouldn’t see him, period.

“Alright, let’s go.” Raven parked the car and her and Murphy opened their doors at the same time then did their best to shut them at the same time. She kept her eyes fixed on the front door but she could see Murphy sprint to the side of the house out of the corner of her eye. _God, please remember the right room._ She mounted Kane’s front steps and banged on the door. Nothing. She banged again. “Kane!”

The door opened and Kane stood there, blocking her entrance to the house. That was fine. She wasn’t the one that needed to go in.

“Raven, I’m sure you know that I can’t let you in.” Kane kept a hand on the doorknob and didn’t move from his place in front of her.

“I know that, Kane, I’m actually here to talk to you.” She crossed her arms. “I wanted to know what you thought about everything. And I wanted to know if you’d tell me how he is.”

“Well,” Kane sighed, “let’s go for a walk.”

\---

Murphy had to be honest, when Raven came to him with her plan he was all for it. Now? He wasn’t so sure because he had no idea how he was going to get back down. After he and Raven had gotten out the car he sprinted to the side of the house where Bellamy’s window was on the second floor and then proceeded to scale the wooden garden fence that went up the side of the house. Bad idea, yeah, but the only one he had. The holes weren’t exactly big enough for his feet and he was pretty sure he had broken some of them, but whatever. He had something he needed to do.

He felt pretty helpless when it came to having to calm Clarke down after she tried to see Bellamy and was turned away. He was surprised Kane had even done that, but he could understand why he had to. Kane was more of a father to Bellamy than his own father was, but that didn’t make it anymore right. Murphy huffed as he pulled himself higher on the fence. Clarke had gone through too much just to have her heart broken by some jackass whose too caught up in his own pity party despite still loving her. _I think_. He knew Bellamy had to still love Clarke, but wondering if he would admit it was something else. If you asked him, all of this shit was just ridiculous and Bellamy needed to get his ass back home where he belonged so he could make Clarke happy and they could all go back to how things were. He can’t handle his friends crying. He wants his family back together.

Good thing about knowing Bellamy is that during the cold weather he has a habit of opening his window and not locking it. He could only hope that he had decided to open the window in the time that he had been here. _Just a few more inches…_ Murphy was caught off guard by two voices coming closer to where he was holding on to the side of the house. _Fuck_. He quickened his pace and reached the window, hoping silently that it wasn’t locked as he tried pushing it upwards. _Bingo._ Murphy shoved the window open more then practically catapulted himself into the bedroom, landing face down on the floor.

“What the fuck? Murphy?” Bellamy seemed shocked. Murphy jumped to his feet and smirked.

“Hey, asshole.”

\---

“What the hell are you doing here?” Bellamy couldn’t mask the incredulous look on his face.

“Getting around your guard dog.” Murphy crossed his arms then looked back at the window as the two voices grew louder, passed under the window, then faded again. _So Raven’s here too_. He should’ve known.

“Kane’s not my guard dog.” Bellamy pushed up from the bed and crossed his arms too.

“You sure about that? Because I’ve been told no one gets in.” Well, Bellamy couldn’t argue with that one. Octavia had shown up and been let inside, but that was a different situation, Miller showed up, and Clarke had showed up. But he didn’t want to think about that one.

“Do you need something, Murphy?”

“Yeah, I do actually. I need you to get your ass in the car and come back home with us. You’ve been camped out here for long enough so it’s time to suck it the fuck up and face whatever it is that had you running with your tail tucked between your legs.”

“Excuse me?” Was this really Murphy’s plan? To piss him off? He didn’t know what was going on so the fact that he thought it would be okay to just drop in (pretty literally) and start with this shit?

“You heard me, Bellamy.” Murphy kept his gaze steady. “We know you, man. It’s not like you to just up and leave someone you care about like that so something happened that probably scared the hell out of you and you left. What was it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Murphy. Just leave.”

“Nope. No fucking way.” Bellamy watched as Murphy grabbed the desk chair and swung it around to sit in it. “You’re my best friend so I’m going to deal with you now. But I also have another best friend that’s heartbroken and I _can’t_ deal with that.”

“How is—how is she?” The thought of Clarke sent a pain through Bellamy’s chest.

“She’s more hurt that you left than she is about the whole Cage part.” Bellamy’s eyes snapped towards Murphy’s.

“Really?” He knew the other guy well enough to where he could bend the truth, or straight up lie, if it worked out in his favor, but he also knew that when it came to his friends, he didn’t sugarcoat anything. But he was finding that a little hard to believe.

“Are you fucking moron?” Murphy groaned and ran his hands over his face. “Do you still love her?” Murphy’s question caught him off guard. _How the hell could he ask something like that?_

“Are you fucking serious? You’re asking me if I still love her? What the hell is that!”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

“Of course I still love her, why would you think I didn't?”

“Because you left her when she needed you, and you’re not the type of person to leave those you love when things go to shit. So do you see the issue here?” Murphy’s gaze was unwavering. “Either you don’t love her anymore or you have a funny way of showing it.”

“Cut the shit, Murphy, you don’t know what’s been happening.” Bellamy’s hand balled into fists. He was getting very close to losing his temper.

“Then why don’t you enlighten me?” Murphy’s look was hard.

“Because, I—” Bellamy stopped. Did he really want to tell someone? What if they looked at him differently? Murphy didn’t say anything, though. He just kept staring. “I wanted to kill Cage that night.” Bellamy’s voice was barely above a whisper and Murphy’s eyebrows shot up.

“That’s it? You wanted to kill Cage? We all wanted to kill Cage.”

“No, Murphy, you don’t get it. I wanted to _kill_ him. I didn’t want to stop. I _would_ have killed him if Clarke hadn’t been there.”

“Then I guess that’s the difference between you and me.” Murphy’s voice was low and Bellamy tilted his head to the side slightly, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“It wouldn’t have mattered to me if Clarke was there or not. I would have killed him.” Murphy sounded serious, but Bellamy was sure he couldn’t possibly think that.

“Come on, Murphy, really? You say that now but if it actually had been you, what? You would’ve—”

“I would have killed him.”

“How are you so sure about that?”

“Because, when it comes to defending myself, or those I care about, if I feel like you’re going to seriously hurt me, or them, or even try to kill us? I’m going to beat them—no pun intended—to it. And I won’t lose one bit of sleep over it.” Bellamy narrowed his eyes at Murphy, unsure if he really was telling the truth or not. _Could Murphy really kill someone and not feel any remorse if he thought they had been trying to kill him?_

“Are you serious?”

“Well, killing someone isn’t something I’d take lightly.” _Holy shit, Murphy really is serious_. “Wanting to kill someone because they’ve hurt you and wanting to kill someone ‘ _just because’_ are two very different things. The first one is surviving, it’s either kill or be killed, the second one is nowhere close.” Murphy sighed. “And wanting to kill someone versus actually killing them are two completely different things, too. Just because you have the thought, or the urge, to do something but not acting on it is something honorable in and of itself. So you may have wanted to, but you didn’t, and you only wanted to because you know he would’ve killed Clarke and possibly tried to kill you if hadn’t done something first.”

Bellamy’s head was reeling. It was rare to get such a serious conversation out of Murphy and, quite frankly, he was wondering if it actually was Murphy sitting across from him right now. And Murphy was right. _Holy shit Murphy was right._

“Didn’t think I had enough brain cells to get that deep, huh?” Murphy smirked and Bellamy found the corners of his mouth twitching upwards too.

“You’ve definitely brought up a different perspective.” Bellamy could hear the door shut from downstairs.

“I guess that’s my queue.” Murphy stood up from the chair and glanced back towards the window. “But I guess this means you’re not coming back?” Bellamy shook his head.

“Not right now.”

“Whatever, man.” Murphy sighed then maneuvered himself out the window. “But the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to get.”

“I know.”

“Later, jackass.”

“Fuck off, Murphy!”

\---

Raven sighed as she got back into her car. Of course Kane didn’t tell her much but he told her enough to where now she understands that it’s more about Bellamy’s own internal struggles than it is about Clarke. _I guess that’s something_. She wished she could’ve been the one to talk to Bellamy but she knew she wouldn’t be able to scale the side of the house in order to do so. But Murphy would work. She was looking towards the side of the house when her phone went off. It was Monty.

_Clarke had another nightmare_

She was having a lot more of those now. But from what she had been told, they were about what happened in the alley except instead of Cage attacking her, he was attacking Bellamy and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Raven sighed and texted back.

_One of ur famous chocolate shakes should help_

Raven sighed and looked back up in time to see Murphy open the car door. No Bellamy in sight. She handed her phone over to him so he could see and then he ran his hands over his face. It was one thing to help someone over a breakup and a completely different thing to help someone recover from something like this.

“So, did Kane have anything to say?” Murphy locked her phone then set it in the cup holder then ran his hand through his hair.

“Not much, just that Bellamy had some things he needed to figure out.”

“Which is pretty much what Octavia had said.”

“Yep, pretty much.” Raven cut her eyes towards Murphy. “What did Bellamy tell you?”

“He still loves Clarke. And that he had wanted to kill Cage.” Murphy sighed.

“That’s all he said? We wanted to kill Cage too—”

“It’s more than that.” Murphy ran his hands over his face. “I think we should talk to Octavia.”

“Think she knows more than what she’s letting on?”

“Bellamy is her brother, of course she knows more than what she’s letting on.”

Raven sighed and made a quick turn, heading towards the Octavia and Lincoln’s apartment. She was pretty sure that Octavia wouldn’t tell them anything, but it was worth a try. If they could get any insight on why Bellamy was acting the way he was, then she was willing to try anything. She pulled into the driveway, relieved to see Octavia’s car parked out front. Her and Murphy got out the car and walked up to the door. They never really came here unless they needed to plan some sort of surprise.

“Blake!” Murphy banged on the door hard enough to rattle it on the hinges. Octavia threw the door open, standing there in pajamas with bedhead.

“Jesus, Murphy, are you trying to break my door down?”

“We need to talk.” Raven shoved her hands into her jacket and looked at the younger sibling.

“I take it the two of you went to see Bellamy.” Octavia backed up and motioned them inside the house. “I’d like to know how you got around Kane.”

“I climbed up the garden fence on the side of the house.” Murphy smirked and Octavia just rolled her eyes.

“So, what’s up?” Octavia threw herself down on the couch while Raven and Murphy situated themselves on the other furniture. Her and Lincoln’s apartment was nice. Their furniture was newer, they had hardwood floors, granite countertops, a nice flat screen in the living room, they seemed to have upgraded since Lincoln’s photography had taken off. Raven was proud of them.

“When I talked to Bellamy, I got the feeling that there was something that had to have happened that made him freak out like this.” Raven watched as Octavia shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

“You know what happened, don’t you?” Raven stared at her. Of course Octavia knew what happened, but there was a reason why no one else knew.

“It was a long time ago, not something that we’ve told anyone else, well, Bellamy told Clarke.”

“Wait, Clarke knows what happened?” Raven leaned forward.

“That’s what Bell said.” Octavia sighed. “What exactly did he tell you, Murphy?”

“He said that he had wanted to kill Cage, and he was really freaked out at the fact that he might’ve actually done it had Clarke not been there.”

“Oh my god.” Octavia’s voice was low and Raven watched as she seemed to remember something.

“What is it that we don’t know, Octavia?” Raven couldn’t help that her heart began to beat a little faster and she could feel anxiety rising in her chest. Whatever it was that the Blake siblings had been hiding, it wasn’t good. _Did she even want to know?_

“You guys have to understand that Bellamy has a natural instinct to protect those he loves, pretty much to the point of self-destructive.” Raven could tell that Octavia was struggling with the idea of giving up something about her brother.

“We just want to help.” Raven turned to look at Murphy. She’d never get used to him being so sincere.

“When Bellamy was sixteen he got arrested. And it wasn’t for just some stupid teenager stuff, he got arrested because he nearly beat our mother’s boyfriend to death.”

“What?” Raven whispered. She knew Bellamy could have a temper if someone pissed him off, but, _that_?

“He came home one night and the guy was drunk and beating our mom.” Octavia played with the end of a blanket. “He told me that he saw red and started beating him. I mean, who wouldn’t? He saw him beating our mother. Well, our mom called the cops, but Bellamy…Bellamy didn’t want to stop.” Octavia sniffled and Raven got up and sat next to her on the couch. “He had wanted to kill him, he almost did, but he said that he thought of me and knew that if he got arrested then there would’ve been no one to take care of me.” A tear slipped down Octavia’s cheek but she hurried and wiped it away.

“What happened after that?”

“The guy dropped the charges, because he knew Bellamy could get him with the drug dealing. But Bellamy says our mom never looked at him the same way again. And maybe she didn’t. She still loved him, loved us, but I think she couldn’t stop thinking about that night. Then she died, from an overdose. He never recovered from it.”

Raven couldn’t slow her mind down. She knew Bellamy had gotten into fights when he was younger, he could be a hot head, especially when it came down to protecting people. And he was really protective over Clarke. But he was also one of the most caring people she had ever met. So she could see where that night probably scared the living hell out of him. He spent so much of his time trying to protect and care for Octavia and his mom and then nearly killed a man.

“So he’s worried that Clarke is going to look at him differently now, just like back then.” Murphy stared at the floor as he spoke. “He has to know that that’s not going to happen.”

“I can’t begin to understand why brother thinks the way he does or believes the absolute worst of himself.” Octavia sighed. “But, he’s scared.”

“What can we do to get him to see that he’s being irrational?” Raven could feel herself getting frustrated with Bellamy. She loves him, but god, he could be stubborn.

“I’m not sure.” Octavia ran her hands through her messy hair. “As much as I hate to say it, I think this is something he’s going to have to realize on his own. But that doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying to push him in the right direction.” Raven stood up and stretched.

“I like the sound of that.” She smiled down at Octavia who yawned then smiled back. “Sorry for busting in here and waking you up.”

“No problem.” Octavia stood up too. “Are you going back home?”

“Yeah, want a ride?”

“You read my mind.” Octavia smiled. “Let me get ready, it’ll be like ten minutes.”

\---

While sitting outside in the car waiting for Octavia, Murphy was still having a difficult time trying to process everything Octavia and Bellamy had told him. But he did know enough to see that Bellamy was being an idiot. He could only hope that what he had told him was enough for him to realize it.

“That was heavy.”

“Tell me about it. Who would’ve known that our mother hen had talons.” Murphy looked towards Raven from his place in the backseat.

“It’s not funny, Murphy.”

“Come on, Raven, we both know if we don’t laugh we’ll cry.” He smirked but he had to admit, it was heavy. “Do you think he’ll realize how stupid he’s being?”

“God, I hope so.”

“You have to admit, ever since you asked Clarke to move in with us, our lives haven’t been dull.” Raven laughed and Murphy could feel a smile spread across his face. At least there was one person he could make smile.

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Raven’s voice was soft.

“I know she will be.” Now whether or not Clarke knew that was a different story, but he was going to make sure that she was.

\---

Clarke felt fine when she woke up, but somewhere between _Big Hero 6_ ending and _Brave_ getting put on, she fell asleep and woke up crying again. It had been a week since everything happened and she tried to keep herself occupied, believing that Bellamy would come back when he was ready. But she didn't have any control over what happened when she dreamed.

“Clarke, hey, it’s okay.” Jasper was beside her wrapping another blanket around her shoulders and hugging her.

“Just let it out.” Monty was beside her too.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” Clarke buried her head in her hands. How could you deal with someone leaving and knowing that they left on their own accord? If Bellamy wanted to see her, then he would. He wouldn’t have had Kane turn her away at the door.

“You’re sad, Clarke, you’ve been through a lot. You have no reason to apologize.”

“Yeah, don’t apologize for showing your emotions.” Jasper pulled her closer while she cried then Monty was standing next to her with a cup extended towards her.

“Here.” Monty smiled at her and she sat up, wiping the tears from her face.

“What is it?”

“Monty’s Magical Milkshake.” Clarke took the cup from his hands and smiled.

“Chocolate?”

“Would it be anything else?” He smiled back and she took a sip. Chocolate was always a good choice.

She spent the next little bit of time watching _Brave_ until Raven and Murphy got back with Octavia. She knew that this past week hasn’t been easy on everyone, but no matter what, they were always there for her. For the rest of the night she was surrounded by her family and they all made sure she laughed. They all made sure she was loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, I just had the urge to give a little insight to the situation from a different perspective since Bellamy and Clarke aren't the only two affected by what's happening. I doubt I'll do this again, but I love how this came out.
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kill 'em with love

Abby had been staying at the Hilton in downtown Arkadia for the past week so Clarke knew it was only a matter of time before she went back home. It wasn’t like Abby Griffin to just take a break for a week and not keep thinking about work. Even if the only reason why she had taken off was because her daughter had been beaten. Besides, she’d be back in a week for the ball.

“Are you sure it’s okay if I leave, honey?” Abby was sitting across from Clarke inside Louie’s Café. Clarke had to admit, her mother would have looked like she might actually belong if it wasn’t for the perpetual grimace when it came to looking around the place.

“It’s fine, mom. I know you’re ready to get back to work and Kane said that I could go back to work whenever I feel up to it.” Clarke poked at her pancakes, trying to push down the sadness that came up with thinking about Kane since it usually lead to thinking about Bellamy.

“Are you sure you’d want to go back to work?”

“Why wouldn’t I? The bookstore has been nothing but great.”

“If that’s what you want to do.” Abby sighed then took a sip of her black coffee. Clarke narrowed her eyes at her mother.

“I know there’s something you want to say.” Abby didn’t look up for a beat but then she sighed.

“I would like for you to come back home, darling. Not permanently,” Abby added hastily, “but I think it would be good to get away from everything for a while and come back home.”

“I can’t be in the same house as him, mom.”

“I understand that, Clarke, which is why he won’t be there. He’s going to be at a conference in Germany for the next week.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“The offer is always there, honey.” Clarke tried to manage a smile but she knew it looked forced, and the uneasiness in her stomach didn’t help. Which is why she ends up darting to the bathroom to throw up. When she comes back, Abby has already packet their breakfast into to-go boxes and is signing the check.

“I thought I was done with getting sick.” Clarke sighed as she picked up the boxes. “I don’t feel stressed or anxious anymore.”

“Well, even if you don’t feel stressed or anxious that doesn’t mean you aren’t. I’ve seen patients come in for heart palpitations thinking that they have heart problems when really they just had anxiety. With what you’ve experienced, your body is still going through a lot of stress, but it should clear up soon.” Abby stood and rubbed Clarke’s back. It was hard to argue with her mom when she clearly knew more than Clarke did.

The two of them spent the next couple of hours making sure that Abby had everything packed and then they headed to the airport. It wasn’t a teary goodbye, but Abby did make sure to reiterate that there would a plane ticket on standby if Clarke decided she wanted to visit and Clarke told her that she’d think about it.

When Clarke got home, it was silent. Really, it was only noon so she knew that her friends were still sleeping. They had taken to trying to watch every Harry Potter movie but they all passed out around 3:00AM. So, while she knew she was going to have to wait for everyone else to wake up she decided to try and go back to sleep too. But she should’ve known that wouldn’t happen.

After about ten minutes of trying to force herself to go to sleep Clarke kicked off the covers and grabbed her sketchbook from her desk. She was going to have to get another soon seeing as she spent a lot of her time this past week drawing. As usual, she didn’t have any specific thing in mind when she set her pencil to the paper, she rarely ever did, but she wasn’t surprised by what began to take shape on the page. Soft curls, sharp jaw, a dimple in the middle of the chin…no, she wasn’t surprised at all.

“There are a few sayings when it comes to artists and their art.” Clarke jumped at Raven’s voice. “One is that being an artist means forever healing your own wounds and at the same time endlessly exposing them. The other is that art is to console those who are broken by life.”

“The second one is a quote by Van Gogh.” Clarke murmured as Raven came to stand beside her. It was no secret that Clarke had drawn enough pictures of Bellamy over the past week, but each time she did it somehow made it seem easier to be without him.

“We went to see Bellamy yesterday.” Raven’s words caused Clarke to faulter on Bellamy’s upper lip. She froze, staring down at the picture.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Clarke looked up at her friend. She couldn’t help that her heart sped up, threatening to burst out of her chest.

“We didn’t know if it would work. Look, Clarke,” Raven sat on the corner of Clarke’s desk, “the reason he left isn’t because he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, he does—”

“Well that’s a relief.” Clarke frowned at the picture in front of her. She hated to admit it, but she _had_ thought that maybe his feelings had changed for her. Thought that maybe he couldn’t handle all of the baggage that accompanies her.

“But he can’t bring himself to face you right now.” Tears pricked Clarke’s eyes as she stared down at the picture, but not really focusing on it. “He’s afraid you’ll look at him differently after…after how he acted that night.”

“How the fuck could he possibly think that!” Clarke hadn’t meant to shout, but the anger that bubbled up in her chest made its way out, as well as the tears. “He _saved_ me that night! How could he possibly think that I would look at him like—like he’s a monster?”

“Octavia says he’s scared. She told us what happened when he was sixteen.”

“I’m not his mother!” Clarke remembered that story like it was yesterday. _There was no way could think that the two situations were similar. Could he?_ She sat there and told him that he wasn’t the same person from that night, and she still doesn’t think he is, but she knew that he saw himself as a monster again. She should’ve known that this was the reason why he left, but she had been too focused on herself and trying to figure out what she did wrong. He needed her just as much as she needed him. “He can’t possibly think that I would look at him any differently.”

“Well, he does.” Raven sighed and stood up again. “So, we just have to make him understand.”

“What do you have in mind?” Clarke sat up straighter, ignoring the wetness on her face. A wicked smile made it’s way across Raven’s face and Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little anxiety at the look on her friend’s face.

“I’m glad you asked.”

\---

Once everyone was awake, Miller had shown up with coffee and pastries from The Secret Garden and Clarke had to remind herself that it wasn’t the café’s fault that Cage had decided to drag her into the alleyway behind it. The food was still good.

“I can’t believe you still have to go to that damn dinner.” Monty mumbled around his chocolate croissant.

“Yeah, tell Dante to fuck off.” Murphy didn’t stop eating long enough for the words to actually be coherent so they sounded more like ‘ _y, el dant oo fik of’_.

“I can’t.” Clarke sighed. “I think means for this to be some sort of peace-offering now, and my mom says it would look bad on her if she doesn’t show up.”

“That’s bullshit.” Miller offered from his place on the floor. “I’ll never understand high society.”

“Me either.” Raven grumbled from beside Clarke.

“So, what’s the plan?” Octavia emerged from the kitchen with a plate of grapes and Jasper looked at her like she had just committed a terrible crime.

“Grapes? Since when would you choose grapes over this chocolately goodness?”

“Since I’m trying to get in shape.” She said, nudging him to the other side of the couch while she plopped down next to him. “So, what’s the plan?”

“I’m still not sure why he’s acting this way.”

“Me either.”

Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Murphy all shared a look. Bellamy probably wouldn’t appreciate everyone learning about his business, but you can’t keep secrets like this from family. This would be for Bellamy’s benefit. Octavia nodded her head at Clarke so Clarke took it as her time to give a shortened version of what happened that night all those years ago. To Jasper’s credit, he didn’t smile or try to crack a joke, he and Monty sat there and listened along with Miller. When Clarke was done, they didn’t say anything and Clarke couldn’t blame them. It was a lot.

“But he’s not sixteen anymore and you’re not his mom.” Miller said.

“Thank you, my thoughts exactly.” Clarke sighed and leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

“We just have to make him see that no matter what he does, it doesn’t change how we feel about him.” Jasper’s eyes were wide. Clarke thought he looked like a little kid who just wanted to make someone happy again.

“And even if he had killed Cage we wouldn’t look at him any differently.”

“My point.” Murphy looked over from his place on the armchair.

“So now, we just have to make him see that we still love him.” Raven propped up her arm on the armrest and rested her head in her hand. “Any ideas on how?”

“Something tells me you already have something in mind.” Miller cut his eyes towards her and Raven smiled.

“You’re right, I do.”

“Spit it out, Reyes.”

“We’re going to annoy the fuck out of him.”

“Ooh, I’m liking this plan.” Murphy sat up on the chair and smiled.

“Of course you are, you annoy everyone.” Clarke rolled her eyes but she knew that Murphy would do everything he could to make Bellamy come back home.

“Do you think that’ll work?” Miller looked from Raven to Octavia, who had been very quiet.

“My brother needs a swift kick in the ass but since no one can get in the house, annoying him will all of our love will just have to do.”

“Sounds great, when do we start?” A smile made its way across Jasper’s face and Clarke found herself smiling too.

“Right now.”

\---

Bellamy is exhausted. Getting sleep the past week had been hard enough since all he seemed capable of having was nightmares, but after Murphy left all he could think about and dream about was Clarke. None of that ever ended well. Whether it was him watching her get hurt and there was nothing he could do to stop it, or he was the one hurting her, it all ended the same. She was horrified and disgusted, and she always left. Always.

“Bellamy, there’s, uh, someone here to see you.” Kane called from the other side of the door. He sounded unsure? Confused? Bellamy couldn’t quite place it.

“I don’t want to see anyone, Kane.” _Kane knew that_. He _had_ to know that at this point. Bellamy opened his door and looked down the hall. There was no one there.

“Look out your window.” Bellamy’s eyebrows knitted in confusion but he made his way towards the window, careful to not let on that he was watching, but his window was open so he could hear the muffled sounds of voices coming from the ground below him.

“You think he’s there?” _Monty_.

“He has to be, he hasn’t left that room in a week. It fuckin’ stunk.” _Murphy_.

“He’s there.” _Octavia_.

“Is that some sort of sibling feeling or is a Blake feeling?” _Jasper_.

“Both.” He could hear the smile in Octavia’s voice.

“Why won’t he look at us?” Clarke’s voice cut through his chest. She sounded tired. And sad. And it was all because of him.

“He just can’t face us right now.” Raven’s voice was soft, and it was almost as if Bellamy could picture her rubbing Clarke’s arm in his head.

“Which is why we’re here.” _Miller?_ Bellamy peeked through the small opening in the curtain and, sure enough, all of his friends were there, including Lincoln. They all parked their vehicles by the side of the house and were sitting on the hoods and standing near them. Raven, Clarke, and Octavia were all sitting on the hood of Monty’s van with Lincoln, Miller, and Murphy standing around them, and Jasper and Monty were actually sitting on the roof of the van.

“Alright, what are we waiting for?” Octavia asked and Bellamy moved back a bit to make sure he was completely covered by the curtains just as he heard someone slide from the hood of a car. “Bellamy! We know you’re listening!”

 _Yes, he definitely is_.

“We’re here to bring you back home, but first, we’re going to tell you everything that we love about you.”

_What?_

“We know what’s happened has you scared, Bell, but you have to realize that we still love you and it doesn’t change anything.”

_But no one else besides you and Clarke know the full story, O._

“And I know what you’re going to say: ‘No one knows the full story’,” He chuckled at her imitation of his voice, “but they do. Now.”

_What the—_

“Yeah, man, we know everything.” Miller spoke up. “And we think you did the right thing.”

“Yeah, we do. Listen, asshole, what I said still stands. There’s a difference between having the urge to do something and not doing it. We know what happened, so—”

“So it’s time to come home!” Jasper yelled and Bellamy could feel everything pulling at his heart strings.

Bellamy was taken by everyone, but he knew it wasn’t over, not by a long shot.

“But we all know you can be a huge pain in the ass, so, we’re going to come back every day and annoy the living hell out of you until you come back.” Raven called. “Okay, so whose up?”

“Okay, big brother, I’m going to keep this short and sweet. You’re being really fucking stupid right now and I don’t think I should have to tell you that you’ve taken care of me your entire life and not only were you a brother but you were also like a father. You’ve sacrificed so much for me and that night, when you were sixteen, you were protecting mom and to some extent you were protecting me. What could have happened if one night he decided hitting mom wasn’t enough? What if he would have come after me? And everything with Clarke? You were protecting the person you love and care about. You always have, it’s part of who you are.” He could hear her voice crack. “I love you, Bell, but you’re being a real jerk right now and you need to come back home to us.” She sniffled. “Are you going next?”

“Why not?” Lincoln spoke up and Bellamy’s eyebrows practically reached his hairline. “It’s no secret that you didn’t like me when we first met, but over the past two years you’ve become one of my closest friends. That being said, I don’t like when my friends are going through something and shutting everyone else out. We’re here for you, Bellamy, all you have to do is let us help. I need my partner back that helps me tell Octavia when she’s being unreasonable.” Bellamy smirked. “I think that’s it, who’s going next?”

“I will.” Bellamy listened as a pair of shoes crunched the frosty ground. “Man this seems like some rom-com bullshit.” He heard Miller mumbled under his breath and couldn’t help but laugh along with everyone else. “Alright, where do I begin. Bellamy, I’ve known you for years and you’re one of my best friends.” Bellamy sat down under the window and leaned his head back against the wall. He may not be able to face his friends, but he could listen to them. “We were in high school and I had first came out. Everyone on the football team avoided me like the plague and even tried to get me kicked out of the locker room but, not you. No, you stood up for me and you have ever since. It was then that we became best friends and I know we’re going to stay that way. Hell, we’re adults now and you’re still taking care of me, man.” Bellamy could hear the smile in Miller’s voice and he smiled too. “And I know you were just taking care of your mom that night, just like you were taking care of Clarke a week ago. Nothing’s changed between us.”

Bellamy could feel a lump rising in his throat.

“I’ll go next.” Bellamy turned his head towards Monty’s voice. “You’re like the big brother I’ve always wanted—”

“Hey!”

“You’re my brother too, Jasper, but Bellamy is our big brother.” Bellamy smirked. “We weren’t around you much when we were younger since we were always hanging out with Octavia, but you were always there. You picked us up at two in the morning when we were drunk, and you also yelled at us for letting Octavia drink as much as she did.” Everyone laughed and Bellamy thought back to that night. He had been pissed, like royally pissed, but he saw how sorry Monty and Jasper looked and couldn’t stay angry with them. “People used to say you were a power hungry, self-serving jackass who didn't care about anyone but himself, but growing up around you, I knew that wasn't true. When our parents died, you were there. And when we moved in, I wasn’t sure how it would go if I’m being honest. Yeah, I’ve known you for pretty much half of my life but before we moved in together it wasn’t like we were best friends. But you seemed to love the idea of having us there. You’ve helped me calm down from my panic attacks and when things get hard you’re always there to lift me—us—up and help us keep going. You’re the best man I’ve ever known, Bellamy, and we love you and we want you to come home. Jasper won’t stop crying.”

“Hey, you’ve cried too.” Octavia said and Bellamy could feel the tears stinging the back of his eyes.

“I guess I’m up.” Bellamy waited for Jasper. “I don’t know how much more I can say after Monty, but I do know that I miss you, we all do. You are like a big brother to us, even though we aren’t family. You put up with my smoking and take care of me when I go too far drinking, you make me see the worth in who I am when others only see a stoner. I remember when you came to our grade one day because Octavia had broken her leg and needed help getting from class to class and you saw some people playing keep away with my goggles; you stepped in the middle and got them back for me and told them that if they ever bullied me again then you would break their hands. You even told me that you thought they were cool and said that if anyone else thought otherwise then they weren’t worth my time. You’ve stuck up for me even when I was just Octavia’s annoying friend. We want you back home, Bellamy, and I miss your hugs.”

_God, these people were going to kill him with affection weren’t they?_

“Alright let me go before you make me cry.” Raven’s voice was steady but Bellamy was sure she was close to tearing up.

“God, Bellamy, where do I start? You’ve done more for me than I could have ever expected. You help me on the days when everything seems pointless, and you make me laugh when all I want to do is give up and throw everything away. You’ve helped me through my trauma and you’ve picked me up and put me back together after the break up with Finn. You’re kind, and you’re caring, and you love everyone with every fiber of your being. You protect those you love and you love those who deserved to be loved. I can’t find enough words to express how much I love you and how much I love being a part of your family. The twins are right and you are like a big brother to us, to everyone. And we love you and you should really come back home because it’s cold out here.”

Everyone chuckled but Bellamy could hear that they were tearing up. He looked up at Kane who had taken to sitting on his bed. Even Kane was getting emotional. But then again, so was he.

“God this sentimental shit is going to kill me.” Murphy grumbled and Bellamy braced himself for what was going to come. “Alright, so I think I said enough yesterday and, honestly, I don’t want to be here. Ow!” Bellamy assumed either Raven or Octavia hit him. “Fine, okay, I miss your annoying ass. I don’t have anyone to complain to when Raven is being overbearing, or someone to laugh with when Clarke is trying—and failing—to be funny. Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re not as funny as you think you are, Griffin. And I don’t have anyone who can hold their own in matches against Jasper and Monty when it comes to Black Ops. Despite how much it pains me to say this, I love you, man, and you not being home is really throwing shit off for me so I need you to come back.”

 _Same old Murphy_.

“That leaves you.” Murphy said, his voice low. Bellamy closed his eyes, waiting for what was about to come. But nothing could have prepared him to hear her voice, even if he had heard it when they first showed up.

“Hey, Bellamy.” She sounded nervous.

_Hey, Princess._

“I know what happened a week ago hasn’t been easy for you, but it hasn’t been easy for any of us. You’re not the only one who blames yourself for what happens, I don’t know if anyone else will admit it but they blame themselves too; but the truth is, what happened is all on me. I wanted to walk to the bar myself and I convinced you all to let me go. What you did that night, you _saved me_ , Bellamy. If you hadn’t shown up I don’t—I can’t—” She started tearing up and Bellamy could feel hot tears slide down his face too. “I want you to come back home. I miss you. I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss our banter and the chocolate chip pancakes that only you seem to know how to make just right.”

“I miss your voice and the love and adoration that covers everything you say and do. I know you’re afraid that I won’t look at you the same, but I’m not your mom, Bellamy. I couldn’t see you any other way than how I do now. I—I love you, Bellamy.” She let out a chuckle and he swears his heart stopped beating. “This is not what I had in mind when I thought about how I would tell you.” She laughed again. “But _I love you_ , Bellamy Blake, and even though you’re being stubborn right now, I’m not going anywhere. You may have regrets about what you did that night, but I don’t. If it came to having to redo that night over again the only thing I would change is keeping you home with me.”

Bellamy closed his eyes. _She said she loved me._

“Do you think he’s going to come out?” Jasper’s voice was a loud whisper.

“Not tonight, goggles.” Octavia’s voice was low and he could hear the sadness behind it.

“But we’re going to keep coming back until he does.” Clarke sounded so sure with herself.

 _The only thing I’m doing now is hurting them._ Bellamy got to his feet just as the phone began to ring. Kane reached over and answered the home phone that sat on the night stand by the bed as Bellamy moved to throw on his jacket. He was going to go home. His family was outside waiting for him, and he was going to go with them. He had just reached the door when Kane called behind him.

“Bellamy, there’s someone who wants to talk to you.” Bellamy’s eyebrows drew together. _Who could possibly being calling?_ All of his friends were outside his window.

“Who is it?”

“Dante Wallace.”

Bellamy’s blood ran cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me tear up.  
> What do you think Dante has to say?
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x
> 
> Monty's "People thought you were a power hungry, self-serving jackass who didn't care about anyone but himself" is from 1x03 "Earth Kills"


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy goes home.
> 
>    
> So sorry for not posting last week! Things have been non-stop pretty much with my classes and I haven't had time to write at all. But this week is slightly less busy so I spent yesterday and today writing this chapter and I'm glad I could get back to the story. I hope you like it! :)  
> *Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes!*

Everyone waited outside for about five minutes until it was evident that Bellamy wasn’t going to show. Clarke tried to keep the sadness at bay, reminding herself that they were going to come back the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that…every day until he came home. She wasn’t going to let him shut her out, shut all of them out, anymore. She had spent the last week more upset with him than anything else. Upset with him for leaving her, not answering her calls or texts, having Kane turn her away when she showed up.  _That_  had been the worst part.

“Come on, Griffin, let’s get a drink.” Murphy stood beside her, his hands shoved in his pockets. Even though he hadn’t admitted it before, Clarke knew this was hard on him too.

“Don’t worry, we’re not giving up.” Octavia rubbed Clarke’s arm. “He can be stubborn.” Clarke turned to look at the younger Blake. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy, similar to how Clarke assumed she looked.

“I think that’s an understatement.” Miller offered from his place propped up against the car.

“We’ll be back to annoy him tomorrow.” Raven smirked but Clarke could see the disappointment behind her eyes.

“Yeah, you’re all right.” Clarke offered a small smile and everyone piled back into the cars.

Clarke couldn’t help but look back over her shoulder as they made their way to the road. Despite her best efforts, she had let herself believe that it would work the first time and Bellamy would come running out of the front door and wrap her in his arms and tell her he loves her too. She missed his touch and his smile and his laugh. She misses him. All of him.

“Hey, we’ll get him back.” Monty reassured her in a soft voice.

“Yeah, Clarke. We aren’t done yet.” Jasper smiled and Clarke found herself smiling too.

\---

What possible reason could Dante Wallace have for calling him? He beat the man’s son, surely he didn’t want to just talk about the weather.

“How did he find me?” Bellamy hissed through clenched teeth.

“I don’t know but I don’t think you should hang up on him.” Kane covered the mouth piece and whisper-yelled back. Bellamy ran his hands through his hair, scowling down at the receiver. He took a deep breath then stalked over to where Kane was and held out his hand.

“Dante.” Bellamy practically spit out the name.

“Ah, Mr. Blake, I was wondering if you’d take my call.”

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened.”

“Your son attacked Clarke and I defended her, that’s everything.”

“But I want to hear what happened from you. I’ve already talked to Clarke, she told me her version of the story and I gave her my word that no harm would come to you. However, if you’re still going to accompany her to my winter dinner party then I need to know if you will be a problem.”

“She’s not still going to that fucking dinner.”

“But she is. You see, Bellamy, people can rarely refuse such an invitation. Now, tell me the truth and I am willing to let all of this go for the dinner. Cage will not bother you and I will not interfere either.”

Bellamy took slow, steady breaths to try and calm himself. He was practically shaking with anger. Who was Dante Wallace to try and control whether or not someone went to a dinner? Or whether or not someone told him something he deemed ‘the truth’? He said he had talked to Clarke, and she had probably been truthful. Hell, she had told Dante it was him to fought Cage. He couldn’t be angry at her, though. She had a reason for everything she did.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“From the beginning. Tell me how you found out where they were.” Bellamy closed his eyes and he was instantly catapulted to a week earlier and a cold night, recalling everything that happened.

 _He had gotten out of class earlier than anticipated and had just parked down the road from the bar due to everyone apparently wanting to celebrate the end of the semester when he heard it._ _It was faint and barely above a whisper, but it made his heart stop._ _Clarke._ _He took off in the opposite direction of the bar and heard something in the alley behind The Secret Garden. When he turned the corner he saw a small figure on the ground with a head of blonde hair and a guy standing over them. His stomach dropped and without any thought to what he was doing he started running towards the figure. Cage Wallace was taller than him but he'll be damned if he let that stop him._

_He ran full force into Cage and landed on top of him. The other guy had been blindsided so Bellamy took that as his chance to get the upper hand. He started raining blows down onto Cage and after the other guy had had a second to realize what happened, he tried to throw Bellamy off. But Bellamy was stronger than he was. Cage landed a few blows himself but it didn’t matter, Bellamy was already winning. He couldn’t hear anything over the blood pounding in his ears and his focus solely on the bastard’s face in front of him. He couldn’t tell anyone how long he spent punching Cage, time seemed to stop._

_Then there was a voice,_ her _voice, calling his name. He heard it, but it was like he couldn’t force his body to stop. He’s vaguely aware of scraping next to him and her voice comes again, closer and softer than before. “_ Take me home _, Bellamy.” Bellamy stopped punching and just looked down at the man under him. Anger was still coursing through his veins but he looks over at her. She has a cut on her lip and her eyes are wide and her hair is a mess, the sight of her angers him more but he feels himself being pulled towards her._

 _He stood up, dragging Cage up with him. The other guys face was bruised and bloody but it was far better than what he deserved. What kind of man attacks a woman? And over a fucking video? He gripped the front of Cage’s shirt and brought him closer. “If you ever come near her again, if you ever_ think _about coming near her again, I’ll fucking kill you.”_ _Bellamy growled through clenched teeth before throwing him against the back wall of the coffee shop. When he turns around Clarke is still where she had been. Bellamy reaches down and wraps his arms around her, picking her up and cradling her against his chest before heading to his truck._

“Threatening someone’s life is not something to be taken lightly, Mr. Blake.” Dante sighs.

“It’s not a threat if it’s true, Mr. Wallace.”

“I cannot say that I condone such actions but I cannot deny that they were warranted.” Bellamy can hear the clinking of glass on the other end of the phone and Dante sighs again. “Clarke deserves someone who will protect her, because as I’m sure you’ve learned by now, she’s the type of person to do things without completely thinking them through.” Bellamy couldn’t disagree with him there. “I’m a man of my word and I told her no harm would come to you and that she would never see Cage again. Now, thank you for telling me the truth. If you can behave at the dinner then you will never have to hear from me after the fact. Do we have an agreement?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I thought so. You’re a reasonable man, Bellamy. Remember, the event is black-tie but I’m sure Clarke can help with that.” Then the line goes dead.

When Bellamy hangs up the phone, places it back on the dock and when he turns around Kane is still sitting on the bed with his elbows propped up on his knees. 

“So, what’d he have to say?”

”He said that he can’t exactly applaud the guy who nearly killed his son but he does respect that I tried to protect Clarke. Apparently he had already talked to her and she told him what happened, but I still don’t know how he knew I was here.” 

“I think if you have enough money and half a mind as to what you want it wouldn’t be that hard.” Kane sighed and stood up. “But speaking of a certain girl, I think you have someone waiting for you.” 

Bellamy feels a smile make its way across his face.  _Clarke. Clarke is waiting._ Bellamy makes his way to the dresser and picks up his car keys, wallet, and headphones. To hell with changing into his jeans, he could just get them later. He follows Kane down the hall and down the stairs, but when he places his hand in the front door knob he hesitates.

”Do you think she’ll forgive me?” He looks back to Kane, anxiety blooming in his chest. Kane’s eyes are soft, though. The same eyes that’s seen throughout his life. 

“If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have come today and she wouldn’t be planning on coming back tomorrow.” Kane rests his hands on Bellamy’s shoulders. “That girl sees the absolute best in you and she loves you. Despite what that voice may be telling you in the back of your head, you are not a monster. You’re a person who loves his family and you’ll do anything to protect your family. Just like me.” 

“Thanks, Kane.”

”Go home to your family, son.” He pats Bellamy’s shoulders and Bellamy smiles as he opens the door. After he’s down the steps he turns back, knowing Kane would still be there. 

“You’re my family too.” Bellamy can feel a lump in his throat. He doesn’t know if he and Kane have ever had a moment like this, but he can see that Kane is kind of emotional too. 

Its nearing nighttime and Bellamy is actually grateful for it. Everything seems quiet and he’s able to try and gather all of his thoughts. He keeps going through what he’s going to say to Clarke—to everyone—but nothing seems right. He doesn’t know how he’s going to explain what was going through his that night or why he left. God, he shouldn’t have left.  _Fuck_. He grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. Why didn’t he say something out the window? He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.  _He can do this, he just has to calm down._

Bellamy nears the house quicker than he thought he would so he shuts off his headlights and parks on the road. He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s home just yet, he still hasn’t figured out everything he’s going to say yet. As he walks up the driveway he can see that while the house is pretty much dark, the TV is on in the living room, and undoubtedly everyone’s watching a movie.  _But maybe..._ he makes his way to the side of the house and angles himself far enough to where he can see Clarke’s window. There’s a light on in her room but as he’s watching the light goes out.  _Perfect_.

He quickly crosses to the other side of the house and under his window and climbs on the wood pile he and the guys had put together not too long ago. Not the safest way to get to his room but the only choice he has to talk to Clarke without having to talk to everyone else. He  _needs_  to talk to her first. He can just reach his room and hopes that he left his window unlocked, which as it turns out, he did. He says a silent thank you for his love of cold weather then hoists himself into his room. Trying not to make a sound is harder than he expected, but he doesn’t do too badly. 

Once he’s upright in his room he takes off his shoes and slowly pads towards his bedroom door. He presses his ear against it to see if he can hear anyone moving out there.  _Nothing_. He slowly opens his door, grateful that Raven gave him enough shit to where he finally oiled everyone’s hinges. When he peeks his head out the door he doesn’t see anyone in the hallway and he can faintly hear the TV going downstairs. He opens his door wide enough to slip out of it then stays close to the wall, trying not to hit any of the squeaky parts. 

When he finally reaches Clarke’s room his heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. He takes a deep breath. Without much more thought he lightly knocks on the door and waits for a response. Nothing. He twists the knob and opens the door, quickly sliding into the room. Clarke is curled up on her side on her bed with her sketchbook next to her. A smile pulls at Bellamy’s lips as he tip toes closer.  _God, she’s beautiful_. When Bellamy reaches her bedside he picks up the sketchbook to place it on her nightstand when he sees what she’s drawn. It’s them, well, their legs, and they’re intertwined. Looking at it sends a shot of pain through his chest.  _He should’ve been there_. His curiosity gets the better of him and he begins flipping through the sketchbook more, wondering if she’s drawn more of them. 

As he goes he realizes that it’s more of  _him_ than anything. He’s smiling, he’s sleeping, he’s drinking his coffee, he’s reading with his glasses on, and all of it brings a lump to his throat. He left her when she needed him. He swallows thickly and closes the sketchbook, placing it on her nightstand. When he looks down at her, she looks so peaceful that he doesn’t want to wake her up, but he knows he has to. He pulls back the covers and slips under them, laying on his side so he can face her. He brushes a piece of hair from her face and runs his thumb over her cheek. He’s missed her, missed touching her. Her eyelids flutter open and he smiles a small smile, unsure if she’ll be upset with him. 

“Hey, Princess.” He watches as her eyebrows crease together. She reaches out and touches his cheek, then runs her fingers up through his hair and makes her way back down to his jawline where she follows it to his chin, then runs her thumb across his lower lip. 

“You came home.” Her bottom lip quivers and he kisses the pad of her thumb. Her eyes start to shine in the moonlight that’s coming through her curtains and that’s what rips his heart into two. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her tightly to his chest, tears starting to form in his eyes too.

”I should’ve never left you, baby. I’m so sorry.” Saying that only makes her cry harder. “I know I fucked up, and I know that you probably can’t forgive me for leaving, but god, I feel like shit for it. You needed me and I left, and I was so—I was _harsh_. I raised my voice at you and I should’ve never done that. I’m so sorry, Clarke.” Tears slip down his cheeks as she continues to cry.

He doesn’t try to keep talking, he can’t. He can’t form the words he wants to say so he lays there with her wrapped in his arms, rubbing her back and telling her that it’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay and he’s never leaving again. _God,_ he thinks, _I’m such an idiot._ After what seems like thirty minutes she’s calmed down and he actually wonders if she’s asleep, but she moves back and her big, blue eyes peer up at him.

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course I do.” He brings his hand up and caresses the side of her face. “Leaving you was the stupidest thing I have ever done and it’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Clarke. More than anything, and someone once told me that I belonged where I’m loved; and that’s right here, with you.” He could see tears forming in her eyes again but before he could do anything, she crashed her lips onto his. They were soft and tasted slightly salty from her tears. He expected their first kiss after him being gone to be soft but he should’ve known better. They had been apart for a week and some of the pictures she had drawn had been a little more than suggestive.

He tangled his hand into her blonde curls and deepened the kiss, licking his way into her mouth. She moaned and brought their bodies flushed together. Even after being apart and the emotional roller coaster they had been on today, they still fit together perfectly. He rolled on top of her and she immediately wrapped her legs around him, threading her fingers through his hair and tugging slightly. He missed this too. When she began massaging his scalp he moaned against her mouth before kissing his way down her jawline and to her throat, sucking as he went. When he reached her pulse point and sucked she let out a gasp that sent a shock straight to his groin.

He moved his hands lower and slipped them under her shirt, resting his hands on her waist. He wanted her, but he knew that there was a possibility she wouldn’t want things to go too far right now, which he was okay with. He just wanted to touch her, even if they don’t do anything. He’s just missed her. She moves her hands from his hair to his back and starts grabbing at his t-shirt, her silent way of telling him that she wants it off. He breaks away long enough to pull it over his head and he throws it on the floor, her eyes widening at his bare chest. Props himself over her and she runs her hands along his sides, up his chest, over his shoulders, then down his back, like she’s trying to map out every part of him. 

“I’ve missed you so much.” She whispers and he leans down and kisses her. 

“I’ve missed you too, Princess.” 

A noise comes from the back of her throat and she pulls him back down to kiss him. Her legs are wrapped around him again and he slowly grinds into her, causing her moan into his mouth. He replaces his hands onto her waist under her shirt and moves it up a little more. He wants to take it off, but he’s going to let her decide. He pulls back a little and looks at her, silently asking with his eyes. She nods her head slightly and sits up enough to where he can pull it off of her. 

She’s not wearing a bra so he can see how round and full her breasts are, and just how hard her nipples are. He groans and immediately takes one into his mouth, palming the other with his hand. He’s always loved her breasts and having been away for so long only amplified that. He sucks on one nipple while rolling and pulling the other in his fingers, causing her to moan and tighten her grip on his hair. He pulls off, sucking harder before fully releasing it, then moves his attention to the other, repeating the same process. 

After both of her breasts are glistening with spit and she’s panting, he begins trailing kisses down her stomach, running his fingers over her smooth body as he goes. He’s _really_ missed this. He smirks when he gets to the waistband of the sweatpants she has on, because they’re his. He kisses a line just above the waistband then grips the sweatpants, looking up at her. She doesn’t nod but instead lifts her hips up slightly and he smiles. _She’s_ _adorable_. He tugs the sweatpants and her underwear down at the same time and he practically comes at the sight of her. She’s completely naked, panting, and the moonlight makes her skin look like pure ivory. How he ever got so lucky he’ll never understand. 

He slides his arms under her legs and kisses her thighs and just above her clit. She let’s out a frustrated moan and lifts herself up a little. He smirks as he kisses her where she wants and looks up at her as he licks her for the first time. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes are dark before she throws her head back. He’s not going to last long if he keeps looking so he closes his eyes and lays into her, kissing and sucking and licking while she threads her fingers through his curls. After a minute he inserts one finger, then another, and it only take a couple of pumps before she’s coming around them. _She_ _must’ve_ _been_ _really_ _worked_ _up_. He works her through her comedown and when she’s done, he places one last kiss to her clit that causes her legs to jerk and he smiles as he lays down beside her again. 

“Good to know you haven’t lost your touch.” She says breathless. He chuckles and pulls her into his side. “But I think you’re wearing too many clothes.” 

“Do you now?” He quirks an eyebrow at her and she smiles as she sits up and goes to work on his sweatpants. He’s glad he didn’t wear jeans now. He lifts up to help her take them off and when she does, she pulls off his underwear too and his erection springs free. If he thought her eyes were dark earlier, they were nearly black now. He watches as she reaches out and strokes it. He’s so big in her hand, the sight nearly sends him over the edge. There’s nothing about her that doesn’t turn him on. 

She leans down and kisses the bottom of it, making her way to the top. He really wants to feel her mouth him but he knows that when he finishes, he wants it to be inside her. He _needs_ it to be. She looks up at him and he grasps her wrist, bringing her back to lay down next to him and she pouts. 

“I want to be inside you.” Her lips part and she nods her head. 

“Please.” 

He rolls on top of her and positions himself at her entrance. He looks up at her as he pushes in, her breath catching as he stretches her and he nearly blacks out from the feel of her. She hums as she threads her fingers through his hair. She’ll never let him cut off his curls and he’s okay with that. After he regains his ability to think, somewhat, he starts to move. He links his hands with hers and presses her down onto the bed. She moans as he begins kissing her throat and then she wraps her legs around him. He’s definitely not going to last long. 

She digs her heels in, urging him to go faster and he snaps his hips, slamming into her. She swears and he picks up his pace, his name a moan coming from her lips. He can feel her getting close and he’s nearing his threshold to try and keep himself from finishing. Just as her legs tense he moves up to kiss her, softening the loud moan she releases as she comes around him. He follows right after, her name a praise on his lips. They stay where they are as they try to steady their breathing and while Bellamy waits for his eyesight to return. When things refocus again he looks at Clarke whose looking at him through half-lidded eyes and he feels his heart swell at the sight of her. He peppers her face with kisses and she starts to giggle before he pulls out of her and lays down, pulling her into his side. 

“I fucked up royally when I left you.” He murmurs as he runs his fingers through her hair. “But I’m never leaving you again. You said that the only thing you would change about what happened is keeping me here, and I want you to know that I wouldn’t leave.” He brings her head up so she’s looking at him. “Can you ever forgive me?” 

“There’s nothing to forgive.” She whispers as she leans up and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. “I love you too.” He wraps his arms around her tighter and she snuggles into his chest. “But you have to know that I’m not like your mom.” 

“I know that. I think I knew that that night, it was just my mind making me believe that I wasn’t worth the love and respect that everyone gives me. That I’m a monster not worth loving.” He whispered the last part. Clarke pulled back and placed her hand on his cheek.

“Bellamy Blake, you are one of the only people I’ve met that definitely deserve being loved.” Her eyes were hard and her words were firm. 

“Then does that mean I deserve your love?” Hes been asking himself that since he realized he had feelings for her.

“My love and everyone else’s.” She whispers and he presses a kiss to her forehead. _Her_ _love_ _and_ _everyone_ _else’s_.

He doesn’t know how long they lay there until he can feel Clarke’s breathing even out, while her words still echo in his ears. He may have had his doubts about whether or not he really deserved everything his friends gave him, whether it be love or respect or adoration, but after everyone’s speeches today and Clarke’s assurance, maybe he could start believing it without having any doubts. He’s beginning to drift when the door opens and light spills in from the hallway. He looks down at Clarke to make sure she’s covered before looking back to the door and being faced with a smirking Raven. 

“I thought I’d bring her some water.” She holds up a water bottle and Bellamy nods his head. He’s pretty sure Raven is going to want to talk tomorrow, but that’s something for, well, tomorrow. She places the water bottle next to the sketchbook on the nightstand then makes her way back to the door. When she turns around to open her mouth it’s like he already knows what she’s going to say. 

“I know, Raven, we need to talk.” 

“Damn right we do.” She whispers-yells then looks at Clarke. “But that can wait for tomorrow. Welcome home, Blake.” 

“Thanks, Raven.” Raven gives him a rare, soft smile and it reminds him of what she said earlier in the day. 

After Raven leaves Bellamy lays in bed, listening to Clarke’s steady breathing. She still wants him, and that’s honestly the only thing he cares about right now. Anything else that happens between now and Dante’s dinner is something he can handle as long as he has Clarke by his side. He knows there’s nothing he can say that’s going to fix what he’s done, but he sure as hell show her how much he loves her and how serious he is about never leaving her again. An idea pops into his head and a smile spreads across his face. 

That night, for the first night in a week, when he goes to sleep he’s happy and his dreams aren’t filled with nightmares and the girl he loves is safely wrapped in his arms.

\---

**The Delinquents**

*Raven has added Miller to the group chat*

 **Raven:** Bellamy’s home

 **Miller:** Finally

 **Murphy:** where tho?

 **Raven:** he’s in Clarke’s room

 **Octavia:** he didn’t even say hi

 **Murphy:** can u blame him tho?

 **Octavia:** ew

 **Harper:** double ew!

 **Monty:** at least he’s back

 **Jasper:** yay! Dad’s back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you as happy as I am? I loved writing this chapter and I'm glad the two of them are back together.  
> Do you have an idea as to what Bellamy's idea is? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sort of welcome home

When Bellamy wakes up in the morning he’s disoriented but Clarke stirs next to him and he’s sure that the smile that breaks across his face couldn’t be described as anything except goofy. He never expected a girl to make him feel like this, make him feel so loved and cared for, but this girl, this stubborn, head-strong, blonde girl dropped into his life and there’s not anything he would change. Well, except for that night, but he’s going to spend the rest of his life making it up to her. If she’ll have him.

He reaches for his sweatpants and pulls his phone out of the pocket to check the time. It’s nearly noon but he has to admit, last night was the best sleep he’s gotten in a while. He sees the messages from the night before and shakes his head.  _Kids_. He doesn’t want to get up but he’s pretty sure Raven is up by now and if they’re going to talk then it should probably be before everyone else wakes up. He takes one last look at Clarke and chances giving her a kiss on the crown of her head. She stirs a little but ultimately her eyes stay closed and her breathing stays even. If she’s still asleep by the time he and Raven finish talking then he’s definitely climbing back in bed with her.

He slips his clothes back on from the night before and then slips out the door and makes his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. When he walks in Raven is leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other, typing something. She looks up when he comes in and he passes by her to get to the coffee pot while she finishes up her text. After he gets his coffee he leans up against the island across from her and when she finishes her text she set her phone down on the counter and they just look at each other. He takes a sip of his coffee then sighs, knowing that she isn’t going to make this easy. 

“Alright, Raven. Spit it out.” He watches as she tilts her head to the side slightly, cocking one of her eyebrows. A big change from the smile he had gotten last night.

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, Bellamy.”

_Here_   _we_   _go_.

\---

When Clarke wakes up its nearly 1:00PM and Bellamy is nowhere in sight. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was still naked she would’ve thought that he hadn’t come home last night and that she had just dreamt it. But her sheets smell like him and she’s a little sore, so she smiles and thinks back to what happened. He’s home. She’s a little more careful as she gets out of bed and puts on her T-shirt and her—his—sweatpants that she originally had on. She makes her way to the bathroom and takes a second to look at her bruises. The ones on her neck have faded a lot and now there’s a hickey that’s been added to them; Bellamy didn’t say anything the night before but she doubts he even saw them considering it was so dark in her room. Looking at her bruises momentarily sends her back to that night and she can feel her heart begin to race in her chest. She tries to take some steadying breaths and they help, but what helps more is knowing that Bellamy is back with her. So she splashes some water on her face when she feels she’s calmed down enough and does her morning routine before throwing her hair into a bun and bounding down the stairs, letting her nose guide her to what she’s pretty sure is Bellamy’s chocolate chip pancakes and the man himself. 

When she steps into the kitchen Bellamy is standing over the stove with a pile of pancakes beside him and Raven is at the island, dividing eggs between seven plates. Honestly, if their family got any bigger they’d need a bigger house. Raven notices her first and smiles, pushing a plate with slight more bacon towards her. Clarke smiles back and pops a piece of bacon in her mouth before skipping towards Bellamy and wrapping her arms around his waist. She closes her eyes and revels in the feel of his body under his soft shirt and the smell of his soap. He hums and she presses a kiss between his shoulder blades. She’s really missed this. 

He reaches over and turns off the stove then deposits the last pancake onto the already-overflowing plate beside him then turns around and wraps his arms around her. She looks up at him and he leans down to give her a deep, slow kiss. She practically melts. She can hear Raven gag behind them but she doesn’t care, she only cares about the man whose arms she’s in. They stay wrapped up in each other until everyone comes rushing down the stairs and hurtling into the kitchen. They only break apart when they hear a smack and Raven say, “No, that’s Clarke’s plate.” 

“Bell-a-meeeee!” Jasper practically runs towards them with his hands in the air and Clarke steps back just in time for Jasper to crash into Bellamy. She laughs at Bellamy’s slightly taken back expression before he returns Jaspers hug. Monty stands off to the side with his hands in his pockets smiling and when Jasper lets go, Monty gives him a hug too. When they’re done Bellamy ruffles both of their hair and then Harper is bounding towards him. 

“Big man’s home!” She hugs him too. Clarke watches as Murphy kind of hangs back, acting like he couldn’t care less, but Clarke knows him better than that. She quirks an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, but as soon as Harper and Bellamy break apart he walks towards Bellamy and they do one of those guy hugs where they hit each other on the back harder than necessary. 

“If you ever upset the balance like that again we’re going to have a serious problem.”

”I’m sorry, Murphy, I’ll make sure that the next time there’s a life-altering situation I’ll make sure it fits within your life schedule.”

”Thank you, that’s all I ask.” Murphy smirks. “Welcome back asshole.” 

“Good to be back.” Bellamy smiles at everyone but when his eyes fall on Clarke it’s like everyone else melts away and it’s just the two of them. There are things that have changed between them but in the end, it’s just knowing that they love each other so deeply that’s enough to tell her that no matter what happens, he’s going to be only one for her. 

Everyone crowds into the living room and Jasper puts on  _Rise_   _of_   _the_   _Guardians_  while they dig into their breakfast. They haven’t even gotten through the first twenty minutes of the movie when Miller, Octavia, and Lincoln all show up still in their pajamas. Miller walks in and Bellamy stands up, giving him a hug too, then there’s Octavia who punches Bellamy in the arm before wrapping her arms around him, and then he and Lincoln shake hands and smile. 

After watching everyone’s reaction this morning, Clarke hopes that Bellamy can see just how much everyone loves him. Even if they don’t always say it outright. While they finish up their breakfast her and Bellamy don’t stop touching, whether  it’s him putting his arm around her and drawing patterns on her shoulder or her placing her feet in his lap and him running his hand over her leg. She doubts he even notices he’s doing it, that it’s just instinctual to want to touch her after so long. She loves it, and when he looks over, she’s staring at him and smiling.

“What?” He asks, his brows knitting together. 

“Nothing, I’m just happy you’re back home.” She leans her head on the cushion and he picks up her hand and kisses the back of it.

”Me too, Princess.” He smiles. She’s pretty sure she’s going to be on cloud nine for the next week or so now that he’s back because anytime he looks at her or smiles at her or touches her it’s like everything gets brighter and his touch leaves a scorching path across her skin. Though, she supposes, she’ll always be on cloud nine with him, this is just heightened. 

After everyone’s finished eating Clarke goes to stand up with her plate and the edges of her vision darken and the room spins. She can feel herself wavering on her feet and then Bellamy is beside her. 

“Clarke? You okay?” She turns to look at him and his brows are knitted in concern, worry etched across his face.

”Yeah, I just stood up too fast, and that was a big breakfast so I’m kind of tired.” 

“Then just lay down, I got this.” He takes her plate from her and presses a kiss to her cheek. 

“Another movie?” Jasper asks from his place by the coffee table. 

“Got anything in mind?” Miller asks before he shovels the rest of the pancakes into his mouth and tries to hand his plate to a passing Murphy who jerks away from it like it’s going to bite him. 

“ _Home_   _Alone_.” Jasper and Monty both offer.

”I don’t know if the two of you need to be getting anymore ideas.” Octavia looks at the two of them sternly. 

“Pleeeaaasseeee?” Jasper pleads, turning on his puppy dog eyes but Octavia is undeterred so he turns his attention towards the kitchen. 

“Bellamy can we watch  _Home_   _Alone_?” 

“What’s everyone else say?”

“Fine we me.”

“Yeah I’m cool with it.” 

“I guess.”

”And I say yes, sorry, O, you’re outnumbered.” Bellamy smiles over his shoulder and Octavia just rolls her eyes but she actually beats Jasper to the DVD player to put it on. 

Clarke settles back onto the couch, waiting for Bellamy to come back and lay down with her when her phone goes off. She’s not really wanting to talk to anyone that’s not in the same house as her right now, but she knows that it’s a good chance that it’s her mom so she sighs and picks the phone out of her waistband.

_Hi honey, I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing_

Clarke smiles and pulls up her camera, taking a picture of Murphy and Bellamy in the kitchen holding their fists out like they’re about to start fighting.. Murphy never does the dishes so she’s surprised he’s actually helping…somewhat. She puts the picture in a message to her mom.

_Attachment: 1 image  
Bellamy’s home :)_

She doesn’t have to wait long for a response

_Oh that’s wonderful! If the two of you want, you can both come visit_  
You don’t have to, of course, but the offer is there, hun  
Love you

_I’ll keep that in mind. Love you too, mom_

When Clarke sends the message Bellamy is just moving her feet so he can sit down. She turns the phone so he can see it and he gives her a sad smile.

“I’m surprised your mom still likes me after—after what I did.” He murmurs, running his fingers across her calf.

“She adores you, Bellamy. You saved me that night but she knows that what happened isn’t something most people can just get over.” She reached for his hand and he gave it to her. “She knows how wonderful you are and she’s happy that I’ve found someone ‘worth giving my love to’, is how she put it.” Clarke smiled at the sheepish expression that made its way across his face. “She hasn’t been around you very much but she already loves you.”

“I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it.”

“Well we could take her up on her offer and go spend a few days with her.”

“Take who up on what and spend a few days where?” Octavia asked from the other couch, her eyebrows raised.

“Clarke’s mom invited us to spend a few days at her place.” Bellamy seemed

“Aw, I want to go!” Jasper pouted from the floor.

“Jasper, we weren’t invited.” Monty nudged his friend in the side.

“We’ve talked about this, you can’t just invite yourself places, Goggles.” Harper said rolling her eyes, but not without affection.

“My mom was meaning for this to be more of a ‘get away from everything’ trip.”

“Get away from every _thing_ not every _one_.” Jasper pointed out.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true.” Clarke tried to keep her smile at bay but she failed. She would feel better having all of her friends there, her new family, along with Bellamy. She hasn’t wanted to step foot back into that place after everything that happened, but if she has everyone there, it may not be so bad.

“Do you think your mom would go for that?” Clarke looked over at Raven who seemed to be trying to hide her excitement at possibly going to D.C..

“Well, there’s definitely enough room for all of us.” Clarke looked around the room. “What do you guys say? Up for a trip?”

“Hell yes!”

“I guess.”

“Woohoo!”

“Family trip!”

“D.C.!”

“That includes _everyone_ in this room.” Clarke said looking at Octavia, Lincoln, and Miller.

“I would, but I actually can’t. I have a lot of customers lined up for the next week. Since it’s been snowing on and off everyone’s wanting to take pictures before it turns to sludge.” Lincoln genuinely looked apologetic. “But apparently I’ll be photographing Dante’s dinner next week.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Clarke already felt a little better knowing that someone else she knew would be there too aside from her mom, Bellamy, and Jaha.

“O, does that mean—”

“That I’m going? Hell yes it does.” Octavia’s eyes went hard as she looked at Clarke. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you out of my sight.”

“Neither am I.” Bellamy smiled over at her and she smiled back.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Clarke! When are we leaving?” Jasper popped up behind the couch and Clarke jumped.

“I just have to call my mom and let her know we’re coming.” She could only imagine her mother’s shock when she tells her.

“I’m definitely coming.” Octavia stated before turning to Lincoln, her eyes softening, “Unless you need me to help assist you with the photoshoots.”

“That’s okay, Nyko can help me. Go have fun.” He kissed the side of her head and Clarke swears she could hear Bellamy groan beside her.

“You sure it’d be cool if I came too?” Clarke looked over at Miller who had been quiet for the past couple of minutes.

“Of course, why wouldn’t she be?”

“Well, no offense, Clarke, but from what I’ve seen most upper-class people are pretty conservative so…” _Oh._ She knows where this is going.

“She used to be, but she’s getting better about accepting that people love who they love. Even if she didn’t understand it when I was with Lexa, she understands now.”

“Okay, then yeah, sure. I’d love to go.” Miller smiled.

“Alright that’s settled.” Raven stood up and clapped her hands. “I’m going to go pack.”

“Me too!” Monty said, jumping up with Harper right beside him.

“Me three!” Jasper bolted up too.

“Hey! What about the movie you wanted to watch?” Octavia calls after the two of them but gets no response.

“You sure your mom is going to be okay with this?” Bellamy had a questioning look in his eye but Clarke merely shrugged.

“If she can have Jaha there 90% of the time then I can bring my friends for a few days.”

“Fair enough.” Bellamy smirked.

“Clarke! How’s the weather there?” Raven called from up the stairs and Clarke laughed.

“Prepare for cold weather and snow!”

She could hear Raven groan from the second floor and Clarke smiled. Even if her mom didn’t like the fact that Clarke was going to be bringing everyone, Clarke was going to have fun showing them everything her and Wells used to like to do. _Wells._ She had been thinking about him more over the last week, but the pain that used to be there is now a dull ache that she doesn’t think will ever go away.

Everyone that stayed in the living room all finished the movie and watched the next two before Octavia, Lincoln, and Miller decide that they need to get back home and start packing for the trip and Clarke takes it as the chance to call her mom and tell her just who all is coming. Clarke knows her mom would’ve bought her and Bellamy’s ticket but seven extra tickets on top of that? Clarke doesn’t know how she’s going to respond to that. Of course no one would _ask_ for their ticket to be paid, but Clarke knows that her friends aren’t exactly swimming in money. But even if her mom _didn’t_ want to pay for their tickets, Clarke had enough money in her trust fund to where she could pay her mom back for it.

Clarke sneaks back up to her room to call her mom. If her mom is going to get upset then she’d rather it be where no one else can hear it. She and her mom can have some intense arguments. She dials her mom’s number and waits for her to pick up. When she doesn’t she sighs and dials her mom’s assistant, Jackson, and he picks up on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jackson, it’s Clarke.”

“Oh hey, Clarke! I suppose you’re trying to get in touch with your mom?”

“Yeah, I tried calling but she didn’t answer, do you know where she is?”

“She’s at dinner with Jaha right now before he leaves tomorrow, do you need me to get ahold of her?”

“Uh, no.” A thought pops into her head. “Actually, could you possibly help me?”

“I can certainly try my best. What is it?”

“I need nine plane tickets from Arkadia to D.C. for tomorrow.”

“Wow, that’s uh, that’s a lot. Alright, text me the details and I’ll handle everything.”

“Will do, and, Jackson?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have access to my trust fund account?”

“No, that’s a little above my paygrade but I can access your savings.”

“I don’t have a savings account.” All she knew was that she had a trust fund her parents put together when she was born and every so often money will get deposited into her checking account, but she’s never had a savings account.

“Yes you do, I’m looking at it right now. Do you want me to use it to pay for the tickets?”

“Yeah, please.” _When the hell did she get a savings account?_

“Got it, yeah, just text me the details for each ticket and I’ll have it ready soon.”

“Great, thank you so much, Jackson.”

“That’s why I’m here. Have a good night.”

“You too.”

When Clarke hangs up the phone she’s surprisingly calm for just finding out that she has a savings account. Maybe her mom just closed out her trust and put the money there? She doesn’t know. She’s pacing back and forth in her room when someone knocks on the door.

“Yeah? It’s open!”

“Hey, I was wondering if we were going to drive or if I have to buy a plane ticket.” Raven leans up against the door, her arms crossed.

”Actually, it’s set to where your tickets are paid for, I just need everyone’s information.” 

“Clarke, you don’t have to—“

“Come on, Raven, after everything it’s the least I can do.”

“But, Clarke, that’s a lot of money.” Raven looked worried but Clarke gave her a smile that she hoped was reassuring.

”My parents made my trust fund so I can do what I want, and I want to do this. If anything, it can be considered an early Christmas present.” 

“I guess...” Raven still looked uncomfortable and Clarke couldn’t blame her. Even though her parents weren’t as wealthy as the Wallace’s, they still did pretty well for themselves but everyone in this house has lived paycheck-to-paycheck before. 

“You gave me a  _home_ , Raven, and a family. If it wasn’t for you I’d have never met Bellamy. Let me do this for you.” This seemed to wear the other girl down because Raven sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Fine. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.” Clarke smirked.

“But you can be excited!” Raven smiles back.

”Yeah I can be excited.” Raven got off the doorframe and walked towards Clarke, wrapping her in a hug. “Thanks.” 

“No thanks necessary.” Clarke assured her. “But could you possibly get me everyone’s information for the plane tickets?” 

“Yeah, of course.”

”Do you think everyone else is going to have a problem with it?” 

“Miller and Murphy might, but everyone else is just going to be happy to be able to go.” 

“Okay, that works.”

”Knock, knock.” Bellamy appeared in the doorway. “Hey, I was wondering if—fuck that looks amazing.” His eyes drifted towards the painting her mom had given her for her birthday and everyone had decided it would look best over her bed. Clarke wasn’t sure about how she felt having a painting of herself hanging in her room, but it had everyone else on it so she didn’t mind. 

“Clarke!”

“Clarke!”

“Can we bring our bong?”

“Or our pipe?” Jasper and Monty practically fall on top of Bellamy. Jasper has his goggles on with a bong in his hands and Monty is already wearing a knitted hat and holding his pipe.

“No, you can’t bring any paraphernalia onto a plane!” Raven moans and Clarke doesn’t try to hide her laugh. “I got this.” Raven throws up her hands and stalks towards the two boys.

“I should have some stuff at my mom’s, so you don’t have to worry about it!” Clarke calls after them.

“Alright.”

“Sweet.” Jasper and Monty both self-five and Raven just shakes her head as they disappear down the hall.

“So Princess used to party.” Bellamy smirks as he closes the gap between them, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Princess didn’t party until she came here.” Clarke wraps her arms around his neck. “Wells was terrified that his dad would go through his stuff so he always hid some stuff at my house. I think we only smoked out of it like a handful of times.”

“Hmm…” Bellamy hummed before leaning down to kiss her. “My little delinquent.” Clarke giggled.

“Yes, yours.” She got on her tippy toes and kissed him again. “Thank you for the birthday present.”

“I didn’t actually get you anything, though.” He looked sad at the admission.

“I think you gave me a _very_ good birthday present.” She smirked and she could see a slight blush make it’s way onto his cheeks. “But I was talking about the painting too.” Bellamy’s eyes drifted towards it and the corners of his mouth turned up.

“I don’t think you can really give me credit it was your mom’s idea, she just needed someone to send her some of your drawings and pictures of everyone.”

“But she asked _you_ to do it, and if it wasn’t for _you_ then I wouldn’t have it. So thank you.”

“My pleasure, baby.” _Baby_. That always did something to her. She blushed and gave him a chaste kiss.

“So, what were you going to ask me when you came in?”

“I was going to ask if we could go to the Smithsonian while we’re in D.C.” He blushed again and sounded embarrassed for even asking, but she found it absolutely adorable so she giggled.

“Did you really think I would take you, a history major, to the capital of our country and _not_ bring you to every single thing having to do with history?” She teased.

“Well…I still thought I’d ask.” She watched as his face broke out into a huge grin. He looked like an excited teenager.

“Well I expect a list of things you want to do and I’m going to ask everyone for their top three things they’d want to check out.”

“It’s supposed to be a relaxing vacation, Clarke. You don’t have to plan things for us to do.” He murmured, rubbing his thumb across her cheek.

“I know, but I’m not very good with entertaining unless I have an idea as to what everyone wants.”

“Don’t worry, everything will be fine.” He smiled down at her and she tried to smile back. “It’s cute how you have to have control of everything.” He teased.

“I do not!” She feigned outrage.

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“Do too!” Then he stuck his tongue out at her. He actually stuck his tongue out at her. That threw her into a fit of giggles.

“Fine, you win! I like having control of things.” She smiled sweetly up at him.

“And it’s adorable.” He kissed the tip of her nose and she giggled some more. “How about we go to bed.”

“But it’s not even eight yet.” She looks at the clock on her nightstand.

“I wasn’t thinking we’d go to sleep.” He grins and she can feel her face heat up. _Oh._

“Yes please.” His grin gets even wider as he brings his lips down to hers, slipping his hands under the hem of her shirt and resting them on her waist.

_No, they weren’t going to go to sleep just yet._

\---

**The Secret Santa Delinquents**

**Bellamy:** Okay, now that I’ve added you all, I need a favor

**Jasper:** y didn’t u add Clarke?

**Raven:** Because it’s a surprise for her

**Monty:** are u going to ask her to marry u?

**Octavia:** Bellamy, I swear to god, if I find out ur going to propose to Clarke over a fucking group chat I’m coming to ur house and I’m beating ur ass

**Bellamy:** No, I’m not going to ask her to marry me, O

**Jasper:** awwww

**Bellamy:** At least not yet. But you’ll be the first person I tell. Honest **.**

**Murphy:** get on with the favor asshole

**Bellamy:** Okay, it’s going to be her Christmas present. I need any photos any of you may have of us and I also need some pictures being taken over the trip

**Octavia:** So you want like candids?

**Bellamy:** Yeah, that

**Murphy:** what makes u think we have any pictures of you two

**Harper:** Because they’re adorable!

**Miller:** super adorable

**Murphy:** ew

**Octavia:** I got u big brother

**Raven:** me too

**Jasper:** this is going to be so much fun

**Monty:** Of course, I’m in

**Murphy:** Maybe

**Miller:** You got it

**Harper:** This is going to be cute!

**Bellamy:** And guys, DON’T TELL CLARKE

**Raven:** We’re looking at you goggles

**Jasper:** I’m hurt, but you’re right. I won’t say a thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you excited for them to get to D.C.? Do you have any idea what Raven said to him? (I'm sure you can guess lol). But I can't get over how happy I am now that they're back together. 
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Delinquents go on a trip
> 
> This fic has reached over 8k hits and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. Thank you thank you thank you for reading!

 

Clarke had felt bad for not getting back to Jackson last night until it was about 1:00AM his time with everyone’s details but he messaged her back thirty minutes later with a confirmation number and details of her flight. She still wasn’t sure if her mom knew how many people were coming, or if Jackson had just told her that Clarke was coming and her mom just assumed it would be her and Bellamy. Just thinking about the flight to D.C. was causing anxiety to build up in her chest. She didn’t think she would be going home this soon, but at least she isn’t going alone.

Clarke looks over at the man beside her. His black curls are a mess around his head and his lips are slightly parted with his arms under the pillow. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to looking at him. His freckles have faded with the changing weather but his hair is still ink against her pillows and his golden skin still glows in the sunlight. He’s like Adonis from the books he tells her about. She leans forward and presses a kiss to his freckled shoulder and his eyes open; he gives her a sleepy smile. _God she loves him_. _He’s adorable._

“Hi.” She smiles and he stretches out his arm, wrapping it around her waist and pulling her closer. His body is warm and she goes willingly. She kind of expected him to wake up but his breathing evens out almost instantly and she has to try and stifle her laugh. They can spend a little bit longer in bed and she’s grateful that Jackson got them a flight for the afternoon because there would’ve been no way she was going to get everyone up if it was earlier. She closes her eyes, telling herself that it won’t be too much longer before they get up.

Boy was she _wrong_.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Octavia literally threw open the door and hit her and Bellamy with a pillow to wake them up and the decision to pack everything last night, they would’ve missed their plane. Getting everyone into the car was the easy part, getting everyone to stay together once they got to the airport? That was a problem.

“How do you keep track of them?” She sighed towards Bellamy who was just looking at her with an amused expression on his face.

“Need a hand, Princess?” Oh, he was having fun with this. _Fine_.

“Yes, okay, I need help.” She never liked admitting that, but he knew how to reign everyone together better than she did.

“Okay, so Jasper and Monty follow each other, right?” She looked towards the two of them who were gazing at a Dunkin’ Donuts.

“Yeah.”

“Well they’ll also follow Octavia and Harper. Raven needs to be dragged away from the gadgets but she’ll join everyone if she sees we’re leaving. Murphy is tricky, he won’t want to do what someone tells him but he’ll follow the group. So you can’t exactly tell him “come on”, well, you can but you’re about the only one, and then Miller is just along for the ride so he’s not a problem.” Bellamy sounded so sure so the anxiety dissipated in Clarke’s chest. She took a deep breath then walked towards Lincoln, Octavia, and Harper who were looking at travel brochures.

“Hey guys, we need to get our tickets.”

“Okay, lead the way.” Harper is all smiles and Clarke feels the rest of the tension leave her body. She walks over to Dunkin’ Donuts with the other three following behind her.

“Jasper, Monty, time to go!” Octavia calls and while the two boys look sad that they couldn’t get any donuts, Monty wraps an arm around Harper’s shoulders and Jasper starts a conversation with Octavia. _This wasn’t hard_.

“Raven, time’s up!” Raven looks over from some sort of headset she had been inspecting and Clarke can see her sigh but Wick smiles at her and laces his fingers with hers as they make their way to the group.

“Murphy, Miller, tickets.” Bellamy’s voice booms in the loud atrium but his friends hear him and before Clarke knows it, everyone’s been brought together.

The rest of the process isn’t difficult and they’re on their plane in no time. Clarke even took it upon herself to do a head count to make sure that everyone was actually on the flight despite watching all of them get their boarding passes checked. She expected her friends to say something about flying first class, but they didn’t. She was glad Jackson had gotten them the best, they deserved it. After takeoff Clarke pulls out one of her sketchbooks. It’s only going to be around a five hour flight but she figures she could draw something, though her mind is blank.

“What’s something I can draw?” She looks over at Bellamy whose flipping through one of his books on World War I.

“Only you can know what you want to draw.”

“Come on, at least give me something.” Clarke groans, tapping her pencil against the paper.

“This might sound a little cheesy, but what does your heart say?” He looks up from his book and quirks an eyebrow at her. All she’s been drawing for the past week is him, that’s what her heart has told her. Suddenly an image pops into her head and she smiles.

“Thanks, babe.” She leans over and kisses his cheek.

“I like the sound of that.” He smiles then leans over to give her a proper kiss.

\---

After two and a half hours of flying Clarke finished the drawing she had been working on and she put her sketchbook into the pouch of the chair in front of her and laid her head back, and promptly fell asleep. Bellamy was able to sneak enough glances to where he knows she was drawing him but he also caught sight of words which he hasn’t seen on any other drawings that she’s done. Once he’s sure she’s asleep he tries to resist but the urge to look at what she’s drawn is too great so he carefully pulls her sketchbook out and opens it to the page her most recent sketch is on.

It’s him lying in bed, his hair messy and a sleepy smile on his face. It’s amazing. He knew that Clarke had a way of bringing the beauty out of everything, but seeing her bring it out in him was something else. _This doesn’t look like a monster_. He lets his eyes travel over the page some more and he sees a small block of writing in the bottom left corner—a poem.

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._   
_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_   
_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_   
_For the ends of being and ideal grace._   
_I love thee to the level of every day’s_   
_Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light._   
_I love thee freely, as men strive for right._   
_I love thee purely, as they turn from praise._   
_I love thee with the passion put to use_   
_In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith._   
_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_   
_With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,_   
_Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,_   
_I shall but love thee better after death._

Bellamy has to fight back the tears that are threatening to spill onto the page. If there was any doubt in his mind that Clarke would really want to spend the rest of her life with him, it’s gone now. He looks over at the beautiful girl beside him and he feels a wave of affection surge through his chest. This beautiful, strong, overall magnificent girl beside him loves him, and loves him deeply. He never thought he’d get a chance at something like this. He reads the poem over again, recognizing it from an English class he took during his undergrad, before turning to look at a sleeping Clarke. He loves her so much.

“Hey, Bell.” He looks up to see Octavia’s blue eyes peeking at him through the space between the seats in front of him. They’re soft and he knows it’s probably because she can tell he’s emotional.

“Hey, O.” He gives her a small smile, still trying not to cry from how sweet the drawing had been. Without responding Octavia passes him her little digital camera that Lincoln had gotten her for her birthday and it’s on a page that shows about a dozen pictures, all of him and Clarke.

He takes the camera and selects the first one to look at. It’s the two of them in bed from that morning, probably before she had assaulted them with a pillow. The second one is of the two of them bickering over how to pack everyone’s luggage in the back of the car and it brings a smile to his face; his hands are on his hips and Clarke’s arms are crossed against her chest and they’re glaring at each other. The next ones are stills of the two of them smiling at each other and laughing, then there’s the last one. The last one is of just a few moments ago, he’s holding the sketchbook and looking over at Clarke whose eyes are closed. He hadn’t realized he was smiling so big, but he’s pretty sure that anyone who saw this picture wouldn’t doubt that he loves her. They couldn’t.

“Thank you.” He can feel the tears threatening to make their way out of his eyes but he fights them back.

“There will be plenty more by the end of this.” Octavia assures him.

“You’re the best little sister, you know that?”

“God, you’re getting sappy in your old age.” She teases as he hands her the camera. “But you’re the best big brother.” She smiles one last time then turns back around.

Bellamy had asked everyone to send him any pictures they may have already had, which they did. Some were from the first party they had and him and Clarke were glaring at each other from opposite ends of the beer pong table, others were from the first dinner they made together, a few from the two of them cooking breakfast together, a couple more from the Halloween party at The Dropship, pretty much every big event they had was documented on his friends’ phones. He got a couple of the same ones which leads him to believe that they were talking about him and Clarke before either of them had realized their feelings for one another. Even Murphy had two pictures which completely threw Bellamy, but he assumes it’s because Clarke looked so _happy_.

He spends some of the flight time organizing the pictures into the right order on his computer but makes sure to angle it to where Clarke wouldn’t be able to look over and see what he was doing, should she wake up. He was going to have to do some major upkeep to keep track all of the pictures he was sure to get over the trip. When he had first brought up the idea with Raven after their talk it was like he could see some of the anger and tension drain from her shoulders, she had been all for it. He had contacted Lincoln shortly after to see if he could also help him out but made sure that he knew that he hadn’t told Octavia yet, so not to say anything. Lincoln said that he’d make sure it was all ready for when he needed it as long as Bellamy gave him every picture how he wanted it.

At some point after fixing the pictures Bellamy dozed off and wakes up when it was getting close for them to land. He's happy that he hadn’t been woken up by Monty or Jasper but when he looks over at them they're asleep, leaning up against each other. Clarke is still asleep too with her head leaning on his shoulder; he smiles and moves some hair out of her face then places a kiss to the top of her head, causing her to stir.

“’Evening Sleeping Beauty.” He smirks at her and she gives him a sleepy smile.

“Are we there yet?” She tries to stifle a yawn as she stretches. Just then the flight attendant comes on the intercom and tells them to prepare for landing. “Well I guess that answers my question.” He watches as she turns and nudges Monty awake. When she turns back he's still looking at her and the corners of her mouth twitch up. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just beautiful.” He watches a slight blush creep to her cheeks and she ducks her head, smiling.

“Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself.” She teases, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Not too bad, huh?” He leans forward and kisses her as a flight attendant passes by.

“Ma’am, sir, please fasten your seat belts.” They break apart and Bellamy can feel himself blush a little too.

\---

When everyone had gotten off the plane and into the airport there were whoops and laughs. Clarke is sure everyone who passes them think that they may be high schoolers but no, they’re all in college and just _really_ excited to be in D.C.. Well, most of them are. They had all just made their way to the designated pick up spot when Clarke hears someone call her name. When she turns around, her eyes widen as an older lady rushes towards her.

“Clarke! Clarke!”

“Dr. Sydney, hi.” Clarke greets the other woman politely and is kind of thrown off when she wraps Clarke into a bone crushing hug.

“I was worried when your mom canceled our sessions, but I can see that you’re doing wonderfully.” Dr. Sydney smiles and Clarke is vaguely aware of all of her friends surrounding her.

“Yeah, I moved, but I’m doing great, Dr. Sydney.”

“Well that’s lovely to hear, I need to get to my plane but remember you can always call if you need anything.”

“Of course, Dr. Sydney, it was nice seeing you.” Clarke manages a tight smile.

“You too, dear. Take care.” With one last smile Dr. Sydney is off towards her own flight and Clarke turns back to her friends. They all try to seem like they weren’t just listening to the conversation but thankfully Raven speaks up and changes the topic.

“So, do we have to call an Uber or…?”

“Actually, Jackson said that he would arrange a car that would be big enough for all of us.”

“Jackson?” Octavia asks, one eyebrow raised.

“My mom’s assistant.”

“Your mom has an assistant?” Miller gapes.

“Uh—yeah, he’s been her assistant for a while now he’s working his way through college but he’s going to go to med school soon.”

“Great, then where’s the car?”

“Um, is it that one?” Harper points to something behind Clarke and when she turns around she tries to suppress her groan. There's a sleek, black limo with a driver who's holding a sign that says “Griffin”. She thought Jackson may have ordered them two cars since there so many of them, but a _limo?_ First first class and now a limo.

“Holy shit.” Murphy swears under his breath.

“Wow.”

“I haven’t been in one of those since prom night.”

“I’ve never been in one.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Clarke grumbles then hikes her bag up on her shoulder and stalks towards the car. It isn’t the driver’s fault but she finds that she doesn’t want to talk to him. Though she does try to be nice.

“Ms. Griffin?”

“Yep, that’s me.” She manages a tight smile.

“The name is Abbot, ma’am, may I take your bag?” He’s an older gentleman and he has a kind face so Clarke tries to let some of the tension go.

“Yes, thank you.” She hands over her luggage then faces her friends. “Okay, luggage to the back of the car, please.” They all do as they’re old and file towards the back of the car. The trunk opens and Bellamy is about to start putting bags in when Abbot stops him.

“That won’t be necessary, sir.” Abbot gives Bellamy a soft smile. “I will pack the luggage and all of you can make yourselves comfortable inside.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.” Bellamy seems slightly uncomfortable but lets go of the bag he was holding, as did everyone else, before giving their thanks and following Clarke into the car.

Inside it has three seats in the back and another long seat running the length of one of the walls with a bar across from it. By all accounts it’s really nice and Clarke has to hand it to Jackson, even though it was a limo it was still a nice limo without it seeming like it would be used to throw a party right this minute.

“Limo, huh?” Bellamy asks once he slids into the seat next to her.

“Believe me, this is not what I was expecting.” Clarke sighs.

“But you have to admit, it’s pretty sweet.” Harper grins as she looks up and sees the pink lights on the ceiling.

“You sure know how to ride in style, Griffin.” Murphy comments as he eyes the bar.

“Remind me to ride with you more often.” Octavia teases and slids into the seat beside Jasper.

“Is everyone good to go?” Abbot appears by the door and quickly checks to make everyone is seated before turning back to Clarke.

“Yes, sir. I’m sure you have the address?”

“Yes, ma’am. We’ll be there shortly.” With a smile Abbot closes the door and before long the car starts moving.

Abbot hadn’t been joking when he said that they would be there shortly, but between the nine of them they had already gone through one bottle of champagne and Jasper was about to open a second when the car came to a stop. If it wasn’t for the little bit of alcohol coursing through her veins Clarke is pretty sure she would be feeling a lot more nervous than she is. Abbot opens the door and everyone slids out, smiling a little bit brighter after the drinks. The house looms before her, all stone wall and terrifying, causing Clarke’s breath to catch in her throat.

“What the fuck, Clarke.” Raven swears as she takes in the house in front of her. “I knew you had money, but _this?_ ” She gestures towards the house and Clarke can feel her face redden but she shrugs.

“My parent’s had it before I was born.” Clarke turns as Miller let out a whistle and when she looks at everyone else, they just seem to be in shock. “Should I have warned everyone?” She leans in to whisper to Bellamy but he seems just as speechless as everyone else. “Bellamy?”

“Uh, maybe a little heads up would’ve been nice.” He rubs the back of his neck. “None of us have ever been near a place like this, I couldn’t image how much it costs.”

“Let’s not go in that direction.” Clarke grumbles before reaching for her luggage that Abbot had placed out.

“Thank you so much, Abbot.” She gives the older man a polite smile and he returns it, tipping his hat.

“My pleasure, Ms. Griffin.” Clarke glances at her friends and then takes out her wallet, giving Abbot a hundred dollar bill for his tip. “That’s very gracious, ma’am. Have a good night.”

“You too.” And with that, he closes the trunk and gets back into the car while everyone else grabs their luggage and then Clarke makes her way to the front door. When she reaches it she pauses. This was going to be the first time she stepped foot in this house in months, and Wells wasn’t going to be meeting up with her tomorrow. The anxiety that she had felt before boarding the plane came back and she finds herself taking a step back. Her heart is racing a mile a minute and she can feel her legs begin to shake. _This was a bad idea. This was a really bad idea._ But Bellamy’s hand is on her lower back, grounding her.

“We got you, Clarke.”

“Always.” Murmurs Raven from beside her.

Clarke takes a deep breath then bends down to dig in one of the decorative Christmas pots beside the door and takes out the spare key. She had left hers on the counter when she left, not intending on coming back but she remembered how her mom always hid a spare. She takes another deep breath and places the key in the lock, twisting it open. _This is it._ She pushes open the door and steps inside. It’s like nothing had changed, the house looks exactly as it did the day she left.

Everyone else swears under their breath as they follow Clarke further into the house. The ceilings are high and if you aren’t careful it can seem like a maze at first, she lived here her entire life and she still had trouble figuring out how exactly to get to certain places. She can smell something being cooked in the kitchen and she wonders if her mom had heard them arrive, but she figures she should go tell her that they’re all here.

“Okay, living room is to the right, kitchen is to the left, these stairs go up and down and theirs bedrooms on both floors but a movie room in the lower one. Feel free to look around.” Clarke rubs her hands on her pants. Her heart is threatening to beat out of her chest but Bellamy’s hand is on her back again, bringing her down.

“How are you?” She looks up and sees his face is full of concern. She swallows thickly.

“I’m terrified.” She admits. “I haven’t been here in so long, and after everything’s that happened—I don’t—I can’t—” She struggles to drag a breath in and he wraps his arms around her.

“It’s okay, we’re all here. We got you, you aren’t alone.” He kisses the top of her head. “I got you, it’s going to be okay.” He runs his fingers through her hair and she takes a few more deep breaths. _She can do this. She can be here._

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I think I’m ready.” She looks up at his brown eyes and Bellamy laces their fingers together before bringing her hand up to kiss it.

“Together.”

“Together.” She smiles weakly at him then turns to tell everyone that they can go look for rooms but they’re already gone, exploring the house. She lets out a laugh. “I guess they’ll be okay for a few minutes.” Bellamy smiles back at her and then she makes her way across the foyer and into the breakfast sitting area just next to the kitchen. She can see Bellamy looking at everything around him as they go and she wonders if it’s really overwhelming for him.

“Hey mom we’re—” When she reaches the steps that lead into the kitchen she freezes. It’s not her mom whose at the stove cooking, no. “ _Jaha_?” Her voice goes up an octave when she says his name.

“Clarke!” He turns around surprised, cooking spoon in hand. “We weren’t expecting you for a little while longner, your mom just stepped out to get something to drink for dinner.”

This can’t be happening. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to have gotten on a plane for Germany this morning, not here standing in her kitchen making dinner. That was the whole reason why she came, he wasn’t going to be here. Bellamy is beside her, saying her name, but she can’t bring herself to talk to him, she can only stare at the man in front of her. Without much thought she turns on her heels and runs out of the kitchen, leaving Bellamy behind as she makes her way to her room and slams the door behind her.

_This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening._

\---

When Clarke leaves Bellamy is left standing awkwardly on the steps that lead into the kitchen, looking at the man in front of him. He hasn’t met him before, not even during the gallery event, but he’s heard enough from Clarke to not like him. Especially if the man was okay with fooling around with his best friend’s wife while he was lying on his death bed. Yeah, Bellamy didn’t like him.

“She, uh, doesn’t like me very much.” The other man wipes his hands on a dish cloth before throwing it back over his shoulder. “Thelonious Jaha, I take it you’re Bellamy.” Jaha extends his hand and walks towards Bellamy who is very intent on not shaking his hand. “Ah, I see you know what happened.” Jaha runs his hand over the back of his neck. “I know what I did—what we did can never be forgiven by Clarke, but you can’t help who you love.”

 _No, you can’t._ “But you can sure as hell wait until the other man has passed before deciding to get with his wife.” Bellamy’s words held more acid than he thought and he can see a look of pain flash across the other man’s face before it’s gone.

“You’re right, and it’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.” The other man sighs. “Clarke’s room is up the stairs and straight ahead, she might be out on her balcony.”

 _She has a balcony?_ Bellamy nods his head once then turns and makes his way back to the front of the house before taking a right and heading up the stairs. He doesn’t see any of their friends so he assumes they’re probably in the lower level checking out the movie room Clarke had told them about. When he reaches the second floor he finds that her room is right across from the stairs though he did see two more bedrooms to his left. When he reaches the door he knocks but doesn’t get an answer, though he can hear quiet sobs coming from behind it. 

He twists the knob and pushes it open, momentarily taken back by how big the room is. There’s a king sized bed to the right and a dresser with a large flat screen above it mounted to the wall, a vanity, and a very large bookcase next to a desk. It takes him a second to regain his bearings but he soon finds Clarke curled into a ball on a bean bag next to the bookcase. Her body is shaking with sobs and it tears a hole through his heart to see her like that. He wastes no time crossing the room and picking her up to put her in his lap.

”Shhhh, I’m here.” She doesn’t say anything but he continues rubbing her back and running his fingers through her hair, telling her it’s going to be okay. After a while her body quits shaking and she’s playing with a thread on his sweatshirt. 

“He wasn’t supposed to be here.” Her voice is rough and she sounds tired. This wasn’t how either of them were expecting this trip to go. “My mom said he would be in Germany. She didn’t even tell me.” 

“We can head back to the airport right now.” Bellamy is kind of sad at the thought that he wouldn’t get to see the Smithsonian but making sure Clarke is okay is his number one priority. “Or we can get a hotel and fly back in the morning.”  _Whatever_   _you_   _need_.

“No, I can’t ask everyone to leave, we just got here.” She sniffled and he tightened his grip on her. “I know my mom would like for me to be happy for her but how can I? What she did, what they did, how can I be happy with that?” 

“You can’t.” Bellamy thought about the conversation he had with Jaha. “But he does seem like he regrets doing what he did, given the circumstances.”

“Oh great,” she snorts, “you’re on his side.”

”Hey, I’m on your side.” He pulled back a little, causing her to look up at him. “Any person who can do that to someone whose supposed to be their best friend, isn’t anyone I would want to be around.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” She sighed and laid her head back on his chest. “I’m just upset and I really don’t know what to do.” She sniffled again and reaches up to wipe away a tear. “I don’t want to leave because I don’t want to disappoint everyone but I don’t know what to do...” 

“We can talk to everyone else, if you want, see what they think.” He offered. He knew everyone would understand and leave it to Monty to find a plan that fit everyone. 

“They wouldn’t hate me for wanting to leave?” He looks down at her, fresh tears forming in her eyes.

”Of course not, Clarke. They’re your family, they’d understand.” 

She nods her head and takes some deep breaths. Seeing her like this...it’s killing him. He just wants to figure something out that won’t have her upset for the rest of the trip, should they decide to stay.

”I have to tell you something.” His eyebrows knit together as he looks down at her.

“The lady at the airport was my therapist. My mom thought it would help if I started going once it neared the end of my Dad's—it helped. I kept going until everything happened with Finn and then I quit. That’s when I moved.” Her head was bent down and she was playing with her nails. “I’m sorry I’m so broken.” She sniffles and he grips her tighter, moving her head to look at him.

”You’re not broken, Clarke. You’re one of the strongest people I know.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I don’t know if anyone I know would have been able to do what you’ve done and still be sane. Clarke—“

”Clarke!” Her mother’s voice comes from the other side of the door and Clarke tenses in his arms. When he looks at her, her face is one of anger.  _Rightly_   _so_ , he thinks. “Clarke, we need to talk.” 

“Do you want to talk to her.” After a beat, Clarke shakes her head but sighs.

”I don’t want to, but I kind of have to.” She sits up and he does the same, though he doesn’t take his hand off of her shoulders where he was resting it on her knee. “Could you round everyone up on the lower floor? Please? I can come down when I’m done talking to her.” She looks nervous and unsure, but if that’s what she wants...

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” 

“No, it’s okay. I mean, I’d feel better if you did but this is something I need to do alone.” He understands that. 

Bellamy gets up and reaches down to help her up too. Her mother knocks again and he really doesn’t want to leave her, but at least he would be able to fill everyone in and they can start coming up with solutions. He looks at her and she nods her head, silently telling him she’s okay. He squeezes her hand and cups the back of her head, kissing her forehead and she gives his hand a squeeze before he walks to the door and opens it. On the other side is Abby, already red-eyed and looking more distraught than he’s ever seen her. Neither of them say anything as he makes his way past her towards the stairs and she goes into the room. He doesn’t know what he’d say to her is she had tried. 

He doesn’t have to do much to find everyone since they all seemed to migrate to the lower floor anyway, and he could see why. There was a pool ball table, a sectional couch in front of a big projector screen, and there was inside an inside hot tub built into the floor near the doors that led onto the patio. He didn’t have time to really react to all of it, he had something he needed to do. As he got closer to the pool table Raven saw him and made her way towards him. 

“Is that Jaha in the fucking kitchen?” 

“Yeah, it is.”

”I thought he was supposed to be in Germany!” Everyone else looked over at them now and he ran his hand through his hair. 

“About that.” He turns to face everyone else. “We have a problem.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about adding pictures of the house just so I could give you a visual but decided against it, but if you would like to see the inspiration then I can add it to the next chapter!
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke talks with Abby
> 
> Surprise! I'm on break right now so I decided to update today and Thursday, and I have a one shot idea that I'm toying with actually doing so that may be up this week too.

As soon as the door closed behind Bellamy, Clarke wished he would come back to her. Abby stands near the door now, her eyes already red-rimmed from crying, but Clarke can’t feel anything but contempt. Her mother _knows_ that Clarke doesn’t want to be around Jaha, she _knows_ that he’s part of the reason why she left, and yet she didn’t tell her. Clarke came on this trip because it was just supposed to be her mom, Kane had been right when he said that kids need their parents and she wanted to be with her mom.

“Clarke—” Abby’s voice broke.

“There’s nothing you can say that can fix this.” Clarke’s words were low.

“Clarke, just let me explain.”

“There’s nothing for you to explain! You said he was going to be at a conference, but he’s not, instead he’s _here_ , and you didn’t tell me!”

“Clarke, keep your voice down.”

“Why? Afraid he’ll get his feelings hurt? Afraid someone will hear how dysfunctional we are and judge you? Well good thing everyone in this house already knows.”

“ _Clarke._ ” Abby’s eyes were hard and she was using the same tone she had when Clarke would raise her voice at functions.

“ _What?_ ” But Clarke isn’t a little girl anymore, and she’s done trying to act like she’s okay.

“Thelonious was supposed to go to Germany but his conference got canceled at the last minute due to a severe storm. I didn’t tell you because I was so happy for you to be coming home, and you were bringing Bellamy, I just didn’t want you to change your mind.” Clarke can see tears forming in her mother’s eyes, but she can’t bring herself to feel anything for them. She wanted things to work between the two of them, but how could she continue knowing that her mother did this on purpose? But her mother did have a point, Clarke wouldn’t have come had she known.

“You could have at least _warned me_ as soon as I landed. I could have at least prepared myself for seeing the man who’s responsible for you betraying dad while he was dying. I don’t like him, mom, and you know that. After given everything that’s happened you should be happy I’m still talking to you.”

“Clarke, I’m so sorry.” Her mother sniffled and her voice cracked. Some of the ice that had been flowing through Clarke’s veins melted a little. “I know that what I did can’t be forgiven, I don’t expect you to forgive me, darling, I know you loved your dad more and I was hardly around but I loved him too. I can’t forgive myself. I was just—I was so _sad_ and lonely and I knew things weren’t going to get better, and—” Her voice broke and a sob racked Abby’s body, causing Clarke to close the distance between the two of them, wrapping her arms around her mother. “I don’t like what I did and I have to live with it every day for the rest of my life but I loved your father, Clarke. When he was in the hospital I thought I would never be happy again but I am happy. I’m happy but knowing that you hate me for what I did, I don’t know how to—I can’t—” Abby stopped talking altogether and Clarke tightens her arms around her mom, hot tears streaming down her cheeks too.

“I don’t hate you, mom. I hate the situation, sure, but I don’t hate you.” Clarke leaned back to look at her mom. “I don’t like Jaha, but he’s not my parent. You are. I know things would probably be easier for you if things went back to how they were before everything, but they can’t.” She took a deep breath. “But you weren’t there for me when he died, not how you should’ve been. You know who was there for me when he died? Wells. And after he died you were there for Jaha more than you were me. If you were anyone else I would hate you, but I know I pushed you away too. Though that doesn’t mean it was okay to act like I was fine after they both died.”

”Oh, Clarke, I didn’t think you were fine. I know you, darling, I could tell you were hurting but I felt that anything I did just made things worse and it just made me feel helpless that I couldn’t help you, like you didn’t want me to help.” Abby wipes the tears from Clarke’s cheeks. “You are so strong, but I was wrong for believing that you didn’t want me anymore. I love you, Clarke, you’re my little girl no matter how grown you get, and I just want to be a part of your life.” A few more tears slip out of Clarke’s eyes and her mom wipes them away before the last bit of resolve washes away too and Clarke tightens her hold on her mom. 

“I love you, mom.” 

“Oh, sweetie, I love you too.” 

They stay hugging each other until their tears have dried up and then they break apart. Her mother’s face is red and blotchy, her eyes puffy, and Clarke assumes that’s how hers must look. Abby  tucks a strand of hair behind Clarke’s ear and Clarke remembers that she has guests. 

“Bellamy went downstairs to talk to everyone, so I guess I should tell them that we’re staying here.” 

“You are?” Abby’s eyebrows shoot up and a smile starts to make its way onto her face before it falls again. “I should tell you, honey, that Jaha moved in a couple of months ago.” The admission hits Clarke in the gut but in the back of her mind she had known it, but that didn’t make it easier.

”Well, I don’t have to like him but I can try my best to at least be civil.”

”Thank you.” Her mom gives her a genuine smile and Clarke gives her one back, albeit small. “Who is everyone?” 

“Oh, I see Jackson didn’t tell you. It’s everyone.” Clarke watches as her mother’s eyebrows shoot up again. “Me, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Murphy, Miller, Jasper, and Monty.” 

“My, well that’s a lot more people than we had been expecting. Why don’t you go ask them what they would like for dinner and we can order in.”

“So it’s okay that I brought them?” The uneasiness that Clarke had been feeling faded away. 

“I suspected you would, and it’s not like we don’t have enough room.” Her mother smirks and walks back towards the door. “Go get your friends, I’ll tell Jaha there’s been a change of plans.” 

When Clarke makes it down to the lower floor everyone is in a semicircle around Bellamy and they’re all talking a mile a minute. Harper is the first person to notice her and her eyebrows shoot up.

“Clarke! Are you okay?” Everyone else raises their heads and before Clarke can get a word out, everyone surrounds her.

“Bellamy told us.”

“We can get a hotel and head back tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, we can come back to D.C. whenever.”

“I talked to Luna, she moved out here for an internship but she has her own place but she said we can crash there if we want.”

“We’re with you, whatever you want to do.”

Clarke is taken back by everyone’s willingness to help her. She kind of expected everyone to be upset, and maybe they are but they wouldn’t show it. Her heart swells with love for her friends, and even though she’s not necessarily excited about the current arrangement, knowing that they’re going to be with her makes it easier. For the second time she finds tears coming to her eyes, but for a completely different reason.

“I talked to my mom and we’re staying here.”

“We are?” Raven’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline and everyone else looks just as surprised.

“It’s not the best situation, no, but I promised to try and be civil. I learned some things that I hadn’t considered before and it still hurts, but ignoring it isn’t going to magically make them separate.” Clarke wipes away some tears that made their way down her cheeks and she feels Bellamy's arm go around her shoulders. 

She just feels tired now. “My mom thought I hated her, and maybe I really did for a while, but she just seemed to… _sad_ and she said that she’s not happy with what she did but that she can’t fix it. I’d like to think if she could do everything over again, she wouldn’t do the same thing.” Clarke sniffles and Octavia reaches out to squeeze her hand. “But,” she takes a deep breath and sighs, “she said that she isn’t surprised that I brought everyone so she’s okay with all of you being here, though she said that she didn’t prepare enough dinner so we can order out.”

“You’re really okay with staying?” Bellamy was looking down at her, his gaze intense and questioning. She knew that he could tell that she wasn’t 100% _okay_ with it, but that she would still do it.

“Like I said, it’s not ideal but I want things to work with my mom.” He nodded his head in agreement and everyone else did too.

“So, what about food?” Clarke barks out a laugh at Jasper’s excitement for food and the anxiety that had been filling her chest kind of melts away.

“It’s whatever the hell we want.” Clarke smiles and Bellamy smirks down at her. She can do this if she has them here. _You got this. You got this. It’s all going to be okay._

\---

If the tension in the living room were to get thicker than it already is Bellamy is pretty sure he would suffocate. They had decided on ordering from a restaurant that was about ten minutes from the house, District Kitchen, and another place, Pearl Dive, which was an oyster bar and he was pretty sure that Clarke’s mom and Jaha had spent more on food for this one night than he does in rent. He had tried going for the cheapest thing on the menu, and declining the oysters, to be courteous but Abby had made a point to tell all of them _multiple times_ that they should get whatever they wanted, so, after a few nudges from Clarke, he settled on the grilled salmon and everyone was given two dozen oysters a piece.

Now, they’re all in the living room since the dining room didn’t have enough chairs and no one is talking. He knows that their friends don’t like Jaha just because of what happened but he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t have liked them even if that stuff hadn’t happened because Clarke doesn’t. She usually has a good reason for not liking people. Clarke is settled in beside him on the couch with Octavia on her other side, Murphy and Raven are sitting to his right, and Monty, Jasper, Miller, and Harper are spread across the two chairs cross from him, while Abby and Jaha sit on the loveseat to his left. No one had really tried talking once the food had been delivered, but the tension had been high since they left the movie room. 

“So, what are the plans for while you’re here?” Abby asked, setting aside her plate. She had a bright smile on her face and if she felt as uncomfortable as he knew everyone else did, then she didn’t show it. 

“I’m wanting to try some of the best food places.” Jasper pipes up. 

“Well we can eat out every night if you’d like, there’s a lot of good places around here, and then everyone can visit the dessert shops during the day.”

“We love dessert.” Jasper and Monty look at each other then self-five, smiling. Bellamy can see the corners of Clarke’s mouth twitch up and he finds himself smiling a little too. 

“I’d like to check out the spy museum.” Bellamy looks over as Harper’s face breaks out into a huge grin. “I think it’d be awesome.” 

“Same here.” Miller smiles too.

”I’d like to see the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum.” Of course Raven wanted to go there. Bellamy smirked. 

“I’d like to see the botanic garden.” 

“National Museum of Crime and Punishment for me.” 

Abby watched everyone went through what they wanted to see and when they finished she turned towards Bellamy.

“And what about you? Anything in particular?”

“I’m planning on taking Bellamy to absolutely everything having to do with history, starting with the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History.” Bellamy turns towards Clarke and sees her smiling up at him.

“Everything?”

“ _Everything_.”

“Well it certainly seems as if you all have your trip planned out.” Abby smiled. “Is there anything else you’d like to see while you’re here?”

“I think we all wanted to see the White House but you have to really prepare in advance for that.” Everyone nodded their heads in agreement with Bellamy. When Jasper had brought up wanting to see it Clarke told them that you had to reserve spots at least three weeks early and this was a last minute trip.

“Maybe I can help with that.” Jaha speaks up and everyone turns to look at him. “I know someone who works there and I’m sure I can pull a few strings to get everyone in for a tour.” Clarke tensed beside Bellamy and he rubbed his shoulder against hers.

“I—“ Clarke started but then she stopped, Bellamy assumes she remembers that she promised to be civil. “That’s really nice of you.”

“Ah, it’s no problem.” Jaha smiled. “There is the possibility that I won’t be able to make it happen, but I’ll try my best.”

“Well, thanks.”

“Yeah, thanks Mr. Jaha.” Jasper smiled.

“Please, just Jaha is fine.” He smiles and Bellamy can see the tight smile Clarke gives him.

The rest of the dinner passes with few conversations breaking out here and there but overall everyone just talks amongst themselves. Jaha had talked to Miller about what he wanted to do when he graduated and seemed very interested in Raven’s internship with NASA, overall he didn’t seem like a _bad guy_ but Bellamy knows that some can seem like the nicest people in the world but some of their actions when people aren’t looking shows who they truly are. After dinner is over, surprisingly, Murphy offers to do the dishes and Jasper offered to help him. Murphy didn’t even do the dishes at their house so Bellamy assumes he’s just trying to be a good house guest.

“Alright, so, everyone can have their own rooms or we can all have a slumber party on the lower level, it’s really up to you.”

“I don’t know about everyone else but I’m looking forward to trying that hot tub.” Raven smirks.

“Seriously, Clarke, who has a hot tub in their house?” Octavia quirks an eyebrow in Clarke’s direction and Bellamy can see a slight blush make its way onto her cheeks as she shrugs.

“I never thought much about it, but I know I’ve grown up privileged.” She says it almost shyly but Bellamy wraps an arm around her shoulders. “You were right, I was a princess.”

“You _are_ a princess, my princess.” He smiles before leaning down to kiss her.

“Oh my god my _eyes_.” Octavia groans.

“Maybe I’ll take the personal room just so I don’t have to see that.” Raven says and Bellamy and Clarke break apart, grinning.

“So, who wants a room?”

\---

Everyone but Murphy and Jasper decide to take a room for themselves, they said that they didn't want to leave the projector and endless supply of movies and, well, Clarke couldn't argue with that, her and Wells had spent a lot of time down there over the years. 

"I don't want to sound rude," Jasper starts, peering at Clarke over the back of the couch, "but where's the stuff you said you had hidden?" He grins widely and Clarke shakes her head, but she's smiling too.

Once Jasper and Monty have been handed the little pipe and grinder they set off _somewhere_ and Clarke wasn’t too keen on figuring out where exactly. She assumes that the less she knows, the better. Everyone had sprawled out either on the couches or the floor, wrapped up in various blankets and pillows while Octavia and Harper search the pad for a movie to watch. They’re all pretty full from dinner but that doesn’t stop Murphy and Miller from bringing in two bottles of liquor that Clarke suspects Jaha gave them. 

“So, what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?” Raven asks, leaning against the cushions.

”I’m not sure.” Clarke takes a sip of her rum and makes a face. Not her favorite.

”You don’t expect us to believe that you haven’t planned our full first day, do you, babe?” Bellamy teases from his place beside her. She smiles up at him. 

“Maybe.” 

“I knew it!” Harper smiles wide. “So what’s first?” 

“Depends, what does everyone want to see the most?”

Clarke should’ve known how that question was going to go over because everyone started talking at the same time and she found it hard to try and get a gist of what everyone was saying. Really, she had planned on going to one of her favorite dessert places for breakfast and then spending the rest of the day walking around until they actually wanted to go somewhere.

”How about we just worry about what to do once we wake up?” Raven suggested. When Clarke looks over at her she seems like she’s almost asleep, and Clarke can’t blame her; it’s been a long day. 

“Yeah, let’s start with that.” Raven gives her a grateful smile as soon as Jasper and Monty enter the room. 

“I would ask where the two of you have been but I don’t know if I actually _want_ to know.” Clarke says, one eyebrow raised. The two of them just grin at her and she decides that she really doesn’t want to know.

For the next hour or so they all watch _Jack_ _Frost_ until Raven decides she’s going to go to bed and Clarke says that she’s going to do the same. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours and she just wants to lay down and try to forget it. Everyone is chattering excitedly about what they want to do tomorrow but Clarke can barely keep her eyes open. The airplane ride, the time change, the alcohol, she’s exhausted.

“Bell I think your girlfriend needs to go to sleep.” Clarke can hear his deep chuckle from somewhere beside her and then she feels his arms wrap around her and she goes willingly. _Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy_. She sighs as he picks her up and she wraps her arms around his neck.

She’s vaguely aware of Bellamy saying something to everyone else but she can’t figure it out. She can tell when he’s walking out of the lower room, up the stairs to her room, and when he finally lays her onto the bed she curls into her blanket. She’s too out of it to really think about how much she’s missed her bed, it’s softer than the one at the house and it’s _familiar_.

When Bellamy lays down beside her, she instinctively moves over to give him enough room but then she realizes that they have plenty of room. Growing up her bed had always been way too big for her but now she had somebody to really share it with, Wells didn’t count. Clarke opens her eyes and looks over at Bellamy, he looks almost as tired as she feels.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, running his fingers through her hair.

“Mmm…tired, kind of drunk.” She admits and he laughs a little.

“I should get you some water.” He moves to get up but she wraps her arm and leg around him and holds him in place

“Uh-uh.”

“But you’re going to have a hangover tomorrow.”

“Uh-uh.”

“Clarke—”

“Mine.” She tightens her hold on him and he settles back in next to her, grinning. “Mine?”

“Yours, baby.” He wraps and arm around her and she moves closer until she’s practically on top of him.

“I never thought I’d come back here.” It’s still taking a minute to sink in, but she’s sure it will hit her when he wakes up the next morning.

“I would ask if it’s any easier with all of us here but I don’t expect so.”

“No, having all of you here with me does make things easier its just, I keep expecting Wells to show up.” She can feel a lump forming in her throat and threatening to choke her, and the alcohol doesn’t help with the tears forming in her eyes. “He’s everywhere here.” She sniffles and Bellamy holds her tighter. “I keep remembering stuff, with him, I keep remembering my dad.” She looks up at him, a ghost of a smile making its way onto her face. “They would’ve liked you.”

“I would have liked to meet them.”

“My dad would have bonded with you over making stuff and Wells, well, Wells would’ve needed some time to warm up to you but I’m sure the two of you would have bonded over trying to watch out for me.”

“He would’ve needed time to warm up to me?” Bellamy feigns being hurt and despite having been crying a second ago, she giggles. “Everyone loves me.” Clarke leans back and quirks and eyebrow.

“I certainly didn’t when I first met you.”

“You mean to tell me that my handsome curls and broodiness didn’t immediately win you over?”

“Or your temper or your misplaced hatred for me? No, it certainly did not.” She teases but his eyes grow softer and kind of sad.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you, I was too harsh.”

“Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for.” She reaches over and rubs her thumb across his cheekbone. “We pushed each other and we tease each other but that’s us. At the end of the day it’s going to be us, together, and no matter what happens, we’re going to be stronger.” A small smile makes its way onto her lips as she remembers a quote Wells once told her from a book. “ _Our hearts, they need a mirror, we see our better selves in the eyes of those who love us_.”

“And I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too, Bellamy.” She smiles and he places a kiss to the top of her forehead, her eyes suddenly not wanting to stay open anymore. “I’m tired.”

“Then go to sleep, baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He tightens his arms around her and she doesn’t try to fight the sleepiness that starts dragging her under. She has Bellamy next to her and her friends scattered throughout the rooms around her.

_She’s going to be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy talks to Abby, and the Delinquents go to some museums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update, guys! I've been having some technical difficulties. I hope you can forgive me!

For some reason Bellamy wakes up as soon as there’s light making its way through the curtains in Clarke’s room and he instantly wishes that he could’ve slept longer. When he looks at the time it’s 8:00AM and he knows he wouldn’t be up right now if they were home. He decides to message his advisor and tell him that he went on an impromptu trip and he feels slightly guilty that he didn’t tell him sooner.

He also answers a few texts from Lincoln and decides to go through the few pictures that were sent after he went to sleep. There was one from Harper from the limo ride with him and Clarke clinking their glasses of champagne together, another from Miller with Bellamy looking awestruck at Clarke’s house and her beside him looking nervous with her bottom lip between her teeth, a picture from Raven of him and Clarke in the hallway after dinner, and one from Murphy when Bellamy carried her to the room, and the pictures Octavia had taken with her camera. His friends were really stepping up to get this present together and he appreciated it.

Bellamy spends the next few minutes ordering the pictures how he wants them and going over everything that he told Lincoln. He wants this to be perfect, she deserves for it to be perfect. He looks over at the girl whose blissfully asleep on the bed. Her blonde hair is a mess and he’s pretty sure she’s drooling in the spot he had been laying only an hour earlier. God, he’ll never get over how stunning she is, even when she’s drooling.

He smiles and then realizes that she’s probably going to need water when she wakes up so he decides to venture out into the maze that is Clarke’s house and try to find a bottle of water for her. Once he’s out in the hallway he pads his way down to the kitchen and is immediately hit with the smell of French toast and bacon. He wasn’t exactly expecting to see Abby cooking in the kitchen, from what Clarke had told him her mom couldn’t really cook, but she was definitely trying and not doing a bad job, though some of the pieces of toast did seem burnt.

“Good morning, M—Abby.”

“Bellamy! Good morning.” Abby turns around, a smile spread across her face. “I assumed with the time difference no one would be waking up just yet.”

“I’m a little surprised myself,” he admits, “but I came down here to get some water for Clarke.”

“It’s in the pantry over there,” she points with the spatula towards a pantry on the left side of the kitchen. “Long night?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“I’ll make sure that there’s water out for everyone then,” Abby smiles and he gives her a small smile back before she swears and flips over a piece of toast that had gotten a little burnt. “I’ve never been the best cook,” she admits, “but Jake on the other hand—” she stops, a sad smile spreading across her face, “Jake could cook anything and Clarke takes after her dad.”

“Growing up my mom wasn’t home much, so I ended up taking care of Octavia. I had to learn to cook when I was young. May I?” Bellamy gestures towards the stove and Abby looks down at the spatula.

“It wouldn’t be right for me to have you cook your own breakfast.” She gives him a sheepish smile.

“No offense, Abby, but if another piece of toast gets burnt then there won’t be any breakfast.”

“No argument there.” Abby hands over the spatula and Bellamy takes her spot in front of the stove. “I’m glad you all decided to come visit.”

“Yeah, we’re all pretty excited to see everything. This is the first time any of us have been on the east coast.”

“Is there anything else that everyone likes to eat for breakfast?” Abby was moving the bacon around.

“Well, we always eat pancakes.”

“We can do pancakes, anything specific?”

“Um, Clarke usually doesn’t want to eat anything else, everyone prefers bacon over sausage, Raven actually uses more syrup than anyone I’ve ever met, Octavia and Harper like their pancakes dripping chocolate, Jasper and Monty really like a lot of small pancakes, and Miller and Murphy will eat just about anything.” When he looks over, Abby’s eyebrows are nearly at her hairline.

“Do you cook for everyone?”

“For the most part, but Clarke helps a lot and since Murphy went to culinary school he can cook really well, he just chooses not to.”

“You take care of all of them, don’t you?” Bellamy could feel the heat rise to his cheeks and he slowly nodded his head. He tries to take care of all of them, but he hadn’t taken care of her daughter a week prior. How Abby could stand here and talk to him without hating him was baffling to him.

“Ms. Griffin, I’m sorry for, what I did—what I _didn’t_ do, a week ago, I—”

“Bellamy, you had your reasons for leaving and I know you love my daughter.” She places her hand on his shoulder. “You take care of everyone but sometimes you need to take care of yourself.”

“I’m not going to leave her ever again.” He looked up and locked eyes with Abby. “You’re right, I do love your  daughter and I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her.”

“There’s nothing to make up for, Bellamy.” Abby gave him a sincere smile and he felt a little weight being taken off of his shoulders. But the idea that he had inadvertently told his girlfriend’s mom that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her daughter caused anxiety to bloom in his chest again.

“No pancakes?” Clarke’s voice brought Bellamy out of his own head and he turned towards her.

“Do you want pancakes, darling?” Abby looked over at her daughter and Bellamy smirked. _Did she even have to ask?_ Bellamy looked over at Clarke and she looked back at him.

“Chocolate chip pancakes?” She asked, her eyes wide.

“Of course.” He winks at her and she grins. If she’s hungover then she’s not showing it. “I was going to bring you some water,” he motions towards the bottle on the counter, “but I kind of had to save breakfast.” He teases and Clarke just laughs.

“Yes, I admit defeat. I’m hopeless in the kitchen.” Abby finishes stacking bacon on the top of a plate and then claps her hands. “Alright, pancake time. Clarke, do you want to help, honey?”

“Sure, but I can’t make them as well as Bellamy.”

“Alright, then I guess I’ll go wake everyone else up.” With that, Abby is gone. Bellamy turns the burner off and places the last piece of toast on to the plate along with the other pieces then walks up to Clarke, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Good morning beautiful.” He murmurs into her hair before kissing her head. “Hungover?”

“You have no idea.” She groans and leans back into him. “Do you think my mom noticed?”

“You were pretty convincing, but yeah I think she knows.”

“Great.” He can feel Clarke sigh and he chuckles. “What were the two of you talking about?”

“She asked what everyone ate so I told her.” Clarke turns around and quirks an eyebrow at him.

“What else?”

“I, uh, I apologized for leaving.”

“Bellamy—” Clarke’s eyes soften and her eyebrows knit together.

“Clarke, I had to. I feel so terrible and it was hard to believe that she didn’t hate me for it.”

“She knows you’ll do whatever you can to protect me, Bellamy, you’re being too hard on yourself.” She reaches up and brushes his curls away from his eyes and he leans into her touch. Every time she touches him it’s like electricity flows through his body. She’s been the only one to make him feel like this, and he knows she always will.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” She smiles up at him and his heart flips.

“I might need to be reminded every now and then.”

“Then I’ll make sure to remind you every day.” He kisses the tip of her nose and she giggles.

“Ugh, I have to see this no matter which coast I’m on?” Murphy groans and Bellamy watches as Clarke rolls her eyes and he smirks.

“No one says you have to be in the kitchen.” Clarke retorts.

“Actually, I promised your mom I’d help cook breakfast.”

“What?” Bellamy can feel his eyebrows arch as he gapes at his friend.

“You promised my mom that you would _cook_?”

“Why so shocked, Griffin, doubt my abilities to cook?”

“If you cook how you clean then I’m terrified.” Bellamy smiles down at Clarke as she tilts her head.

“Make your jokes, but you’ll be eating your words when you taste my muffins.”

“Muffins?” Bellamy can’t keep the smile off of his face.

“Alright, that’s it, out of my kitchen.” Murphy moves further into the kitchen and Clarke and Bellamy break apart.

“We were going to make pancakes.” Clarke protests.

“I’ll make chocolate chip muffins, now out of my kitchen.” Murphy shoos them out and the two of them go, laughing.

\---

Breakfast was very _eventful_ to say the least. Murphy actually can cook, but Clarke didn’t really doubt him. Now, everyone was waiting at the front door but Abby had insisted on talking to everyone before they go out, like it’s not as if Clarke had spent her entire life in this city.

“Everyone here is terrible at driving, so watch out for that.” Abby presses a key into Clarke’s hand.

“No wonder Clarke can’t drive.” Murphy joked and Miller elbowed him in the ribs.

“I’m afraid I’m not much better.” Abby took the joke in stride. “Don’t forget to keep your jackets and scarves on, the wind can be terrible—”

“Mom, we’re all college students and we’re all smart, not to mention I’ve lived here my entire life. We’re going to be okay.” Clarke tries to motion everyone out the house and she’s rewarded by a deep chuckle from Bellamy who helps by opening the door.

“Everyone’s phones are charged? Call if you need anything.”

“We will, mom, promise!” Clarke gives her mom a quick kiss on the cheek and then turns to shoo the rest of her friends out the door.

“Bye, Abby!” Everyone calls from outside the door before Clarke shuts it firmly behind her.

“Sorry about that.” Clarke apologizes but everyone is just smiling.

“That was funny, worrying over all of us like we’re kids.” Harper smirked.

“Well, we technically are kids compared to her.” Monty chimed in.

“Alright, where are we going?” Raven rubbed her hands together and turned to look at Clarke, her eyebrows high.

“You’ll find out in about twenty minutes.” Clarke gestures towards the garage.

Her mother had rented a _very large_ Chevy suburban that was big enough to hold all of them. Looking at it was very intimidating, she had never driven something so large, but she could handle it. _Right, she could handle it_. After they all piled into the car Clarke pulled out onto the road and started towards the first museum of the day. Since all of the museums are close together they could get to a lot of them while also having enough time for lunch at one of Jasper’s food places.

Within twenty minutes Clarke is pulling up close to the National Mall. If her friends would want to split up and go to the museums themselves then they could, but she was really hoping they could all stay together. Even if she had spent her entire life here, she hadn’t been to all of the museums. Once she parks everyone clambers out of the car and they’re all smiling despite having to pull their jackets together to fight the wind.

“Alright, Griffin, we’re here now. What’s first?”

“I don’t know yet, let’s find out.” Clarke takes the hat off of Murphy’s head with protest then puts five pieces of paper into it. She mixes them up then holds it out towards Jasper. “Want to pick one?” Jasper grins and then pulls out a piece of paper.

“Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum.”

“Yes!” Raven shouts from beside Clarke, a smile spreading from ear to ear. “Wait, did you really not plan out our trip?”

“I did, but I figured this would be more…fun.” Clarke shrugs as Raven throws her arm around her shoulder.

“Well _I_ certainly love this method. Lead the way!”

\---

During the entire time inside the Museum Clarke is sure she’s never seen Raven smile so much. Everyone else was enjoying it too, but none of them were as excited as Raven. She talked about the airplanes and the rockets and the space suits, even the missiles. Everything Raven said didn’t cease to amaze Clarke and she was glad that her friend was so happy, even her leg wasn’t slowing her down.

“I guess this is all of it.” Raven stood in the middle of the floor and turned around, slowly. They’ve been in here for three hours but Raven still seems crestfallen at the idea of leaving.

“Don’t worry, Raven, we can come back one last time before we leave D.C.” Octavia wraps her arm around her friends shoulders. “Right, Clarke?”

“Yeah, if that’s what you want to do.” Clarke smiles and Raven returns it.

“Thanks, but if I’ve already seen it once then there’s no point in coming back so soon. But, god, I’ve sure enjoyed this.”

“It’s going to be you up in one of these one day, Raven.” Bellamy points towards one of the rockets and she turns to look at it.

“Damn right it is.” The huge grin still plastered on her face.

\---

After they leave the museum, they go to Pavilion Café, which is actually somewhere Jasper wanted to see, and make sure to get enough coffee to propel them through another museum or two. Being back in D.C. is better than Clarke imagined it would be and she’s actually enjoying choosing what they do next out of a hat. But she can’t help but wish that Wells was there to experience it all with them.

“So, Clarke, what’s next?” Miller asks around his gelato. Yes, it’s winter time but who can pass up good gelato?

“Good question,” Clarke pulls out the hat again. “Someone pick.”

“I got it!” Harper puts her hand in and swirls around the papers before pulling one out. “Museum of Crime and Punishment.”

“Yes!” Octavia practically screams inside the café and they all get a few stares. “Let’s go!”

Octavia grabs the two closest people, which happen to be Murphy and Harper, and drags them out of their seat with a surprised yelp from Murphy. Clarke looks over at Bellamy who is smiling and shaking his head before he takes out some money and throws it on the table. After everyone’s paid for their food, and Monty, Miller, and Jasper have inhaled the last little bit of ice cream, they set off towards the museum.

Octavia acted just how Raven did in the other museum, but she was even harder to keep up with. She went from place to place spouting off so many facts that Clarke was pretty sure her knowledge on this was just as extensive as her brother’s knowledge of mythology. While also watching Octavia, Clarke also found herself watching Bellamy. He seemed so happy watching his little sister get so excited, like it’s everything he ever wanted for her. When Octavia is talking about Joseph Bonanno Bellamy leans down to Clarke’s ear.

“Thank you.” His voice is soft and when she looks up, she can see his eyes are watery.

“I didn’t really do anything.” She reaches up and brushes some curls out of his eyes. “I just got the ride.”

“I’ve always wanted to bring her here, but we never had enough money.” He sniffles as he looks up at his little sister, moving her arms around as she talks to everyone.

“Well, you’re both here now.” Clarke wraps her arms around his waist and smiles up at him. “Let’s enjoy it.”

“You’re amazing.” Bellamy smiles before he leans down to give her a chaste kiss.

“Quit sucking each other’s faces, we have more to see!” They have just enough time to look over before Octavia is running to the next exhibit.

\---

Unfortunately, the National Mall closes before they’re able to get to a third museum and while everyone is kind of bummed out that they weren’t able to get to their museums, they’re still happy with what they did get to see. They all decide to go for an early dinner at Elephant & Castle which is another place that Jasper really wanted to check out. ‘ _Beers and burgers, of course we have to go!’_

Even though Clarke had spent her entire life in this city, there were still places she had never thought about going, this place being one of them, but once inside she’s wondering why she never did. Inside they had inflatable Christmas decorations hanging from the ceiling and light up garland wrapping around the bar. It was kind of packed so it was difficult to find enough space for all of them to sit, but in the end five of them ended up sitting at a table and four of them sat at a high table on the other side of the wall. At least they could all still see each other.

The waitress seemed almost worried when they all said that they were together but she took all of their drink orders and seemed skeptical that they were all over the drinking age, but Clarke ordered a soda since she would be driving. She even sent a text to her mom saying that they were going to get an early dinner but, knowing her friends, they would be hungry again before they went to sleep.

“I really had fun today.” Raven smiles and leans into Clarke.

“Me too!” Octavia grins up at Bellamy. “I finally got to see the museum.”

“I’m glad the two of you liked it.” Clarke looks over at everyone else. “I’m sorry we ran out of time today.”

“No worries, we still have time.” Miller reassures her.

“You worry too much, Griffin.” Murphy teases.

“Alright, everyone,” their waitress cuts into their conversations, “what can I get you?”

They spend the rest of their time at the pub alternating between eating and talking and everyone orders two more beers before they all decide to call it and head back to Clarke’s house. As they walk back to the car, her friends have their arms around each other and laughing loud enough to where Clarke is pretty sure people can hear them on the next street over, but she doesn’t care and neither do they. They’re not even drunk, they’re just happy. The last week has been stressful for them and Clarke feels like a huge weight has been lifted off all of them.

When they get back to the house everyone goes right downstairs and orients themselves in front of the movie projector and start debating on what movie to watch while all pouring themselves more drinks. Looking at them, Clarke can almost picture what it would’ve been like to have them around when they were all teenagers. Monty and Jasper are so close they’re practically twins. Octavia already drives Bellamy crazy enough as it as now that she’s an adult so Clarke can only imagine what that would’ve been like when she was younger. Harper is sweet and caring but she knows how to keep people in order when need be. Miller is funny and he always knows what to say when someone needs some cheering up. Raven is, well, Raven, and Clarke is pretty sure people found her scary even when she was a girl. Murphy’s snark and sarcasm has just increased ten-fold from when she knew him. Then Bellamy. He’s one of the best people Clarke has ever met and she finds it hard to believe that someone can be so _good_ after the life he’s had. After the life they’ve all had. They may be an odd group from and outsider’s perspective, Clarke knows her mom thinks so, but they’re bonded together by their life experiences.

“Hey, Clarke, who’s this?” Clarke is brought back to the present when Harper calls from the bookshelf. She had been going through some of the books and a picture fell out. When she holds the picture up, Clarke can see that it’s one of Wells when he was seventeen, holding up a birdhouse he had built in woodshop.

“That’s Wells.” Clarke expects a lump to form in her throat but it doesn’t, only a small smile makes its way onto her face. “He built that in woodshop our junior year of high school.”

“He looks really proud of it.” Harper smiles then slips the picture back into a copy of _Grimm’s Fairytales_ that he had gotten her as a Christmas present when they were younger.

“He loved that thing.” Clarke smiles back on the memory. “He put it up in a tree and checked on it every day to see if a bird had moved in. I told him it’d scare the birds off.”

“Do you have any more pictures?” Bellamy asks from beside her. Clarke thinks about it and she realizes that she had never shown anyone pictures of him. Bellamy saw a sketch that she had done but that was it, and then Harper had found that picture by accident.

“Yeah, give me a second.” Clarke goes up to her room and gets the over flowing photo album that she had stashed under her bed then takes her spot again on the couch next to Bellamy.

When she opens the first photo album it’s a lot of just her baby pictures on the first few pages, but she quickly skips those, then it turns into her and Wells as toddlers. Everyone crowds around her and looks, sometimes pointing out how cute an outfit was or how ridiculous they looked, and Clarke tells them the stories. Her and Wells trying to slid down a snowy hill and her face planting, one very rainy day when they decided that playing in the mud would be fun. _Elementary school field trips, first day of middle school, summer camp, their first dance, a talent show contest where Wells played the piano and Clarke sang, Halloween, Christmas, first day of high school_ …her entire life with Wells.

At the end of the photo album there’s Clarke and Wells on their first day college and then them at Christmas, Easter, and at the very back, the very last page, is Wells’ obituary and funeral program. Clarke hadn’t put either in there, so it could’ve only been her mom. She stares at the picture, tears pricking her eyes as he smiles back at her. _Loving son and best friend_. Clarke wipes the tears off her face and closes the book, thinking back on all of the happy times she had just gone through with everyone.

“He would’ve loved all of you.” She smiles at everyone.

“What’s not to love?” Murphy teases and she laughs.

“You knew him, jackass.” She nudges him and he shrugs.

“Thought I’d contribute to the moment.”

“For what it’s worth, we would’ve loved him too.” Raven squeezes her shoulder and Clarke smiles.

“Alright, let’s watch a movie.” Clarke motions towards the projector and everyone retakes their spots.

But this time, this time they’re all a little closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've finally decided that there's five more chapters to go, the final one being an epilogue. I'm going to be really sad to see this story end since it's been a big part of my life for the past few months, but I already have ideas for the next story that I'm going back and forth with.
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day out in D.C. and a surprise song at dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, things have been pretty hectic but after this next week I'm done with college until August! I'm excited lol

The next morning Clarke wakes up sick from the night before and to an empty bed again, so she makes her way down to the kitchen. Sure enough, Bellamy is standing in front of the stove again but this time her mother _and_ Jaha are there and Clarke has to practically force herself into the room rather than staying away until the food is done. She promised her mom she would at least _try_ to be civil. She had liked Jaha when she was younger, he had been like a second father to her, but after he betrayed her father? No.

“Oh, good morning, darling.” Her mother spots her first and then hands her a cup of coffee, like  she was expecting her.

“Good morning mom, Jaha.” She gives them the normal pleasantries then follows her nose to where Bellamy is flipping something in the pan.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Bellamy leans over and places a kiss on top of her head and she can feel the heat rise to her cheeks since her mom and Jaha are very near and both have very good hearing.

“You seem happy this morning.” Clarke muses as Bellamy flips an omlette.

“We got some good news this morning.” He turns to grin at her and her eyebrows shoot up.

“Good news, huh?” She looks at her mother and Jaha and her mom turns her attention towards the guy next to her.

“I was going to wait until everyone was awake but,” he clears his throat, “I have arranged for everyone to get a tour of the white house today around lunch time.”

“You didn’t!” Clarke can feel a huge grin break across her face and when she turns back to Bellamy he’s practically vibrating with excitement.

“I did.” Jaha smiles too and, for a second, she forgets why she doesn’t like him. “My friend, Shumway, has agreed to give everyone a tour but you all have to be there at exactly 11:30AM or else you won’t get another chance.”Clarke looks at the clock on the microwave, _9:30AM_ , they have two hours but if they want to be there on time then they need to leave by 10:45. _Time for a wake-up call._

Clarke took it upon herself to go banging on everyone’s door and, in Jasper and Murphy’s case, beat them with pillows and demand everyone to get up and meet in the kitchen for breakfast because she had news that she was pretty sure everyone was going to want to hear. Now, all of her people are standing around the island either falling asleep on their feet or leaning against each other to keep themselves standing while trying to get a few more minutes of shut eye.

“Alright, Clarke, you woke us up—”

“Very rudely I might add.” Mumbles Murphy whose currently using a slouching Miller as a pillow.

“Now what is so important?” Raven finishes and Clarke knows that it’s taking a lot of restraint on Raven’s part to not get upset. Clarke looks over at Bellamy and they smile at each other.

“We’re going to the White House!” They both say in unison and _that_ certainly wakes everyone up. Clarke had made sure to ask Jaha if it was okay if the two of them told everybody and he said that he was going to let them anyway.

“Oh my god!”

“Seriously?”

“Are we going today?”

“When?”

“It’s today at 11:30AM,” Bellamy explains as he starts setting out the omelets. “So we have to hurry up and eat and get ready.”

“We’re leaving in an hour fifteen.” Clarke says, and no one wastes time.

Clarke is pretty sure this is the first time she’s seen everyone move this quickly and efficiently. Ever. Even the dinner night with her mother had gone less smoothly than this. But she guesses that the smoothness of everyone getting ready has to be credited to the fact that her house has an insane amount of bathrooms. Like a lot. _Why_ her family had thought that they would ever need eight bedrooms let alone _eleven_ bathrooms was beyond her, but it came in handy today.

Surprisingly everyone is ready and downstairs with fifteen minutes to spare but, despite the showers and the breakfast that they had, everyone is still really tired. In order to counteract that, they all decide to leave early so they can all go to the coffee shop they had visited the day before so they could get some caffeine into their systems before going on an hour-long tour.

After a quick cup of coffee, they all make the trip to the White House and Shumway is waiting for them when they get there. Clarke had only met him a handful of times and there always seemed to be something _off_ about him. She couldn’t quite place it, but the way he looked at people made her feel like he always planning something.

“Clarke! It’s been a while.”

“Yes, it has. Thank you for agreeing to give us a tour during your lunch break.” Clarke gave him a pleasant smile.

“Of course, I did owe Jaha a favor.” He smiles at her but she can tell it’s tight. “So, who all do we have?”

“Mr. Shumway, these are my friends.” She introduces everyone then Shumway leads them inside, gets them through security, and gives them their passes before he starts on the tour. With how her friends were smiling just from walking in to the place, Clarke could only imagine how they were going to be for the rest of the tour.

\---

An hour later Clarke and her friends walk out of the White House with their cheeks hurting from smiling so much and coupons for everyone for the White House gift shop. Clarke was pretty sure she’s never seen Bellamy look this much a like a little boy on Christmas, and that is saying _a lot_ , but they still have the natural history museum that they need to visit.

“Clarke, Jaha really came through with this.” Monty says, a smile still plastered on his face.

“Seriously, if he wasn’t on my dislike list I would think he’s okay.” Raven agrees.

“Yeah. Yeah I guess he did.” Clarke knows he’s trying to be nice to her, but he can’t just erase what happened. Even if he does regret it.

Once they get out of the gift shop with a few figurines, bobble heads, snow globs, and books, they all decide to drop their goodies off at the car before heading back out to see the other museums. Now, they still have the botanic garden, the crime and punishment museum, and the museum of natural history that they still need to visit and they have roughly four and a half hours until the museums close again. They also want to wait until nighttime to see the National Christmas tree in all of it’s blazing glory, so there’s also that.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Clarke pulls out the hat with the papers in it and holds it out. “Someone pick.” Miller steps forward and reaches in.

“Botanic garden.” Everyone looks at Monty who seems like he just won one of the best prizes ever.

“Yes!”

“Alright, let’s go.”

\---

They all have to pile back into the car since it would be a long walk to get to the garden from the White House and it gives Monty time to tell everyone about the different plants he’s looked into and even though Clarke only ever looked into plants that had medicinal purposes for a class she took in high school, Monty makes everyone appreciate the plants and flowers for more than just how pretty they look.

When they all step into the botanic garden, Clarke is speechless. Even in the middle of the winter, the plants are growing beautifully and it was almost as if they had entered a beautiful wonderland of colorful flowers and amazing smells. They all follow Monty’s lead as he wanders through the building and while they walk, Octavia pulls people in for an impromptu photoshoot.

There’s one place in the building where they have what looks like a brass version of the White House and another section where there’s a small, rectangular pool with some fountains shooting out of it. By all accounts it’s as relaxing as it is beautiful and Monty seems over the moon with it all. If anything is to come out of their trip to D.C., it’s the fact that Clarke was able to make all of her friends look so happy.

They spend two hours inside the garden until Monty is sure he’s seen absolutely everything there is to see and he’s filled up a space in his notes on his phone of all of the plants he saw but didn’t know with comments to look into them further. It’s almost sad to leave the place since it’s so pretty and peaceful but they still have enough time to visit one more museum before they all close and then, possibly, go get some food before they want to go see the Christmas tree.

Once they get back to the car Clarke pulls out the hat with the pieces of paper and there’s only two pieces of paper left. Whichever one doesn’t get picked right now is their first stop tomorrow. This time, Murphy reaches into the bag and pulls it out.

“Museum of Natural History.” Everyone looks at Bellamy and he’s grinning from ear to ear. He looks like an excited puppy and it makes Clarke’s heart flutter.

Bellamy is practically sprinting towards the Smithsonian Museum and the girls have to remind him, on multiple occasions, to slow down since they’re not as tall as him. Clarke knows that one of the things he’s really excited for is the Ancient Egypt exhibit. One of the great things about this museum in particular is it has things that would interest everyone, like the science education center, the dinosaurs, butterfly pavilion, and the gems exhibit.

Bellamy is definitely in his element as he goes through the exhibits and talks about everything he’s learned. He tells them about the process of mummifying in Egypt, when the pyramids were built, _why_ the pyramids were built, and a lot of information about the Egyptian gods and goddesses that Octavia also joins in on and before anyone can blink it’s a Blake sibling lecture and no one can help but listen closely to everything they’re saying.

\---

It’s been almost two hours and they’ve gone through almost the entire museum at rapid speed but with only a short amount of time left they all decide to break apart and go see whatever exhibit they want and they agree to meet in the front of the building fifteen minutes before the building closes. If they haven’t found each other before then. After everyone separates, Clarke and Bellamy are the only two left wandering through the halls of the museum together.

“Thank you.” Bellamy looks down at her and smiles. “I loved this.”

“You seem to like thanking me for things even though I haven’t really done anything.” She teases and he smirks.

“I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to come out here if it wasn’t for you.”

“I’m sure you would have.” Clarke assures him. “It’s just a matter of figuring out the details.”

“But still, thank you.” He smiles at her before leaning down to give her a kiss.

As Clarke expected, they all have to meet up in front of the building because she was pretty sure there was going to be no way they would’ve wanted to leave any earlier. They all regroup and then decide to walk to the Christmas tree instead of trying to drive since it’s not that far away.

The tree is as beautiful as Clarke remembers. A year ago it was her standing here with Wells as they took a picture in front of it to keep with their tradition of getting pictures together every year going; this year she’s with her new family, but it’s like Wells is still with her too.

“Picture time!” Harper yells and Clarke is taken out of her thoughts. When she looks over, Octavia has already stopped an older couple to ask if they can take pictures of all of them. Everyone crowds together and throws their arms across each other while Jasper and Miller crouch in front.

“Alright, big smiles now.” The lady says and they oblige. “Oh, how adorable. Okay, now silly faces.” They all laugh then do their best and after the lady has taken a few pictures she turns to her husband. “They remind me of us.”

Everyone gives their thanks and once the camera is handed back they all group together to look through the pictures. The lady had apparently taken some pictures before telling them all to smile because there were a few of them trying to get situated, then a couple of them smiling, then the goofy ones. As they flip through them, Clarke notices that in one of the pictures, Bellamy is looking down at her with the biggest grin on his face as she tries to make herself look like a puffer fish. Ever since he’s came back, she’s been noticing the little things he does more and more, and she’s wondering if it’s because they finally told each other that they love one another or what.

“Okay, I’m hungry.” Jasper groans while holding his stomach. “I’m being starved.”

“You’re always being starved.” Miller points out.

“Then we better get some food.” Clarke starts walking back towards the car. “Do we eat around here or back at my place?” They could walk to a nearby restaurant if they want, but it’s cold outside and Clarke kind of wants to relax. Walking for multiple hours straight, multiple days in a row, is really wearing on her feet.

“Your place.” Everyone answers almost immediately.

Clarke calls her mom on the hands-free whenever they get back into the car but not before making use of the heated seat option.

“Hey, honey, did everyone enjoy the tour?” There was a chorus of agreements but Abby’s motherly intuition seemed to have kicked in because her next question was, “What would everyone like to eat for dinner?”

Now, they may all be close knit and able to blend together but trying to get everyone to agree on one specific thing to eat for dinner is a _nightmare_. Jasper wants burgers, the girls want sushi, and the others want something that _isn’t_ burgers. Thankfully, Abby proposes something that Clarke is pretty sure she wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t necessary.

“Okay, so how about once all of you get back we’ll look up some restaurants and we’ll order from a few different ones. Sound good?”

When they all get back, everyone decides to make a beeline for the living room where there’s a fire already made. Clarke can see on everyone’s faces that while they all enjoy going to the museums and walking around and seeing everything, they can’t do that too often. Raven is elevating her leg and Clarke can see her trying to hide her grimace every few seconds, so it’s obvious that it’s bothering her. Murphy leans over and says something in her ear then she nods and he gets up. People that the relationship Clarke has with Murphy is weird, and they could say the same about Murphy and Raven, but Clarke is pretty sure that if there was a different universe, then Murphy and Raven would be together. _Just don’t tell them that_.

“Okay,” Abby appears in the room with some papers in her hands, “I found a few restaurants for us to choose from. I hope everyone narrowed down what they want to eat.”

It takes about twenty minutes but in the end they have orders placed at all three restaurants and Jaha offered to go pick them all up. Which is fine with all of them because they’re pretty sure if they try to walk any more then they’re going to collapse. You never really know just how tired you are until you sit down.

“So, what do we do for tonight?” Monty asks from his place on the couch with his head in Harper’s lap.

“A drink and some sleep sounds good to me.” Miller grumbles from the floor. “I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah me too.” Murphy agrees from his place in the armchair.

“Since there’s only one museum left maybe we can just have a lazy morning before going?” Harper offers and everyone mumbles an agreement.

“Well, the museum that’s left is the one you and Miller want to visit so if the two of you are fine with it then, sure.” Clarke won’t deny it, she’s tired too.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Everyone get’s momentarily reenergized when it comes time to eat dinner but that doesn’t last long because now that they’re stomachs are full, they’re even more tired. But it seems like they’re fine with it being a lazy night and even a lazy morning. Which is totally fine by Clarke.

They continue the night by passing around a bottle and refilling their drinks and Abby even pulls out scrabble for them to play. Which Clarke doesn’t know why anyone bothers to try and play against Bellamy because he absolutely dominates in Scrabble and even wins against her mom. Which is saying something because her mom used to always beat her dad at the game and that was always something you wanted to watch.

“Okay, is there anything else we can do that _doesn’t_ end in all of us getting our asses kicked?”

“Clarke, would you want to sing something for us?” Abby’s question nearly knocks Clarke out of her seat.

“What?”

“I found your old guitar and had it cleaned up a while back. Would you like to sing?”

“Um…” Clarke can feel everyone looking at her and she’s pretty sure she’s as red as Raven’s jacket. “I haven’t sang anything in a while.”

“Then it’s the best time for you to get back into it.” Before Clarke can argue her mother walks out of the room.

“I didn’t know you could sing.” Harper looks over at her.

“I only ever did it as a hobby but it wasn’t very often.” Clarke mumbles as her mother reappears with her old Taylor. Her father had gotten it for her as a birthday present years ago but when he died she stopped playing for the most part.

“Here you go, darling.” Her mother hands it to her and, sure enough, it looks almost as good as the day she unwrapped it. The strings had been fixed and everything. Clarke thumbed the strings and felt a pull from inside her. What song should she sing? She could sing a Christmas song and get everyone to join in, but she’s pretty sure that’s not what her mom would want.

“Any requests?” She asks as she checks if the guitar is tuned or not. No one says anything as they try to think of a song but Bellamy, who hadn’t taken his eyes off her, gives her a request that makes her heart lurch.

“ _Wake Me Up_.” Images of Wells and her father flit across her mind and she swallows the lump that formed in her throat.

“Oh you used to listen to that song all of the time.” Abby points out and Clarke is surprised that her mother even noticed. But she doubts she knows why.

Clarke had spent a while trying to force herself to learn the chords to the song, and she did, but it’s been so long she doubt she remembers. She starts strumming, trying to find the right chords, then after a second she finds it and it’s like she never stopped playing. Muscle memory takes over and soon all that can be heard is the sound of the guitar and her humming.

_“Feeling my way through the darkness_  
_guided by a beating heart_  
_I can’t tell where the journey will end_  
_but I know where to start_  
_they tell me I’m too young to understand_  
_they say I’m caught up in a dre-eam_  
_well life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes_  
_well that’s fine by me…”_

As she sings, pictures of her father pass through her mind and she let her emotions wash over her and come out as she sang the song. She’s vaguely aware of tears slipping down her cheeks but she doesn’t care. The only thing she can really feel is the ache in her heart and the bite of the strings under her fingers. She remembers the days where all she wanted to do was sleep and do nothing, she was fine with not doing anything but it was Wells who forced her out of her room and back into the real world. She remembers when he died and how she could feel herself slipping. Then there’s images from only a few months ago when she called Raven in a panic, needing to leave. _Where the journey started_.

As she goes, she starts to see her friends in the lyrics. All of them were lost at one point or another, and that’s how they came together. They all had to carry the weight of things that no teenager should have to experience, but they’re living in the moment. _You are not Atlas, Clarke._ She found Bellamy, an Atlas in his own right, and fell in love with him. She left home to try and start over, and she found what she was looking for. _And so much more_.

When she’s done she looks up and she can see that everyone else was emotional too, her mother more emotional than anybody. Bellamy reaches over and wipes the tears from her cheeks and she gives him a grateful smile. There’s no doubt that he figured out what the song meant to her, or at least had a guess, and she has to admit that after singing it she’s let out some pent up emotions that she’s been holding in since they got here.

“That was beautiful.” Jasper sniffles and Clarke’s looks over as he wipes a tear from his face.

“I love your voice.” Octavia smiled.

“Oh, Clarke.” Abby gets up and walks over to Clarke, placing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m glad you decided to play.”

“Thanks, mom.”

\---

For the rest of the night, everyone sits around and talks and continues to pass the bottle around. It’s mostly just mindless chatter, some jokes, a few insane ideas that get tossed between Raven and Monty, and laughing. A lot of laughing. No one asked Clarke to go into detail about the song, but she’s pretty sure they all have an idea. At some point Monty and Harper retire from the night, saying that they have sleep they need to catch up on, then Raven follows, then Miller and Jasper, and it keeps going until it’s only Bellamy and Clarke left in the living room.

“I think we all needed this.” Clarke murmurs. She’s laying across the couch with her head in Bellamy’s lap and he’s running his fingers through her blonde waves.

“Me too.” He moves a piece of hair behind her ear and she turns to look at him.

“Why did you ask me to play that song?”

“You listened to it a lot when you first moved in, you would hum it even if you didn’t notice, but as things went on you stopped.” He gives her a small smile and runs his free hand through his own hair. “I mean, I could be wrong but it seemed like that song meant a lot to you when you first moved here and the only explanation I could come up with was that it had something to do with Wells, and maybe your dad.” He swallows.

“And I thought—well, since you said that it’s hard being back here because you keep getting reminded of them, maybe…I don’t know, maybe singing it would help? If that really was the reason why you sang it so much when you first moved in? I’m not really sure.” Clarke looks up at him. Despite what people may have thought about Bellamy at one point or another, he’s very smart. He picks up on things that most others may not see and he can make sense of them. Even when Clarke can’t. “Was I way off?” He gives her a lopsided smile.

“No, no you’re actually right on it.” Clarke smiles up at him then sits up, placing a hand on the back of his neck and bringing him towards her for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“Now you’re the one thanking me.” He smirks and she smiles.

“Good to know we have a balanced relationship.”

“Yes, it is.” He leans down to kiss her again, but this time it’s deeper. “Let’s go to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of their time in D.C., Clarke visits an old friend, and basically just the Delinquents being themselves before Clarke has to endure Dante's dinner party 
> 
> I'm so sorry for the late update!

The next couple of days in D.C. go the same as the first few days had. The trip to the International Spy Museum led to Harper talking about all of the stories she had read about spies throughout the decades and Bellamy talked about the CIA in the 1960’s. If there was something that Bellamy _didn’t_ know, Clarke hadn’t found it yet.

They spent two hours in the spy museum, sitting in the debriefing theater, and just reading and listening to absolutely everything they could get their hands on. Afterwards, they all decided to do some Christmas shopping since they doubted they were really going to have time to do it once they got back. They all had a twenty-dollar limit for each other, but even then that’s kind of a lot when you add it all up.

Once they got to the mall, everyone decided to break off into different groups to put a dent in their lists, but it’s no small task to buy for so many different people because they all have different things that they like. Clarke, Raven, and Harper all decided to group together to shop for the guys first but Octavia went with Bellamy. After an hour and a half, the girls pack up their gifts for the boys and then they meet up with the others and split up again so they can get presents for everyone else. It’s actually not as much of a hassle as Clarke expected it to be.

Now, their last day in D.C., they all decided to just go walking around the city and stopping off anywhere they decided seemed like would have something they would want to eat. It’s more relaxed than their last days have been, but everyone seems like they’re ready to get home and back into their own beds. Their flights are set to leave tonight, which would give Clarke and Bellamy a day to get ready for Dante’s dinner. Which is something Clarke would rather not think about.

The day goes by lazily and they all get back to Clarke’s house with four hours until their flights are supposed to leave, but Clarke feels like there’s something she has to do before she leaves again. She just doesn’t know if it’s something she can actually bring herself to do. Clarke takes out the photo album she had shown everyone the other night.

“Hey,” Bellamy’s voice is soft and Clarke looks up to see him leaning against her door frame. He’s changed out of his thick sweater in favor of a blue Henley that Clarke loves on him. She gives him a small smile, but there’s a lump in the back of her throat. Bellamy seems to notice that something’s wrong because he crosses the room and sits down on the floor next to her. “What’s wrong?”

Clarke swallows. She brings her eyes up to his and tears sting them. _You can do this_. “Will you come somewhere with me?” Her voice comes out raspy, a result of holding back the tears.

“Of course.” Bellamy takes her hand and places a kiss to the back of it. “Where are we going?” Clarke looks down at the photo album in her lap, Wells’ smiling face looking back at her.

“We’re going to go visit him.”

\---

When Clarke said that she wanted to go visit Wells’ grave, he was actually wondering if he heard her correctly. It’s something he knows can be difficult, he experienced it when his mother died and it had taken him a while to actually let Octavia bring him. But he didn’t ask any questions and went to get the address from Abby, who seemed to be surprised that Clarke was even considering going to his grave, and within ten minutes he and Clarke were on the road on the way to the cemetery. Clarke was silent the entire ride, but her hand never left Bellamy’s. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he only rubbed his thumb across her hand, trying to ground her before she got lost in her head.

They arrive to the cemetery within fifteen minutes but Clarke makes no move to get out of the car. Bellamy stays with her, if she decides that she doesn’t want to get out of the car, then he’ll drive her back home, but he wonders if this is something she should do before they all go back to Arkadia.

“Are you okay?” Bellamy leans across the console and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I just—” she swallows, “I just can’t stop myself from thinking…thinking about that night.” Clarke turns to look at him, her eyes red from unshed tears. “I haven’t been here since the day we buried him.”

“Clarke, hey,” he moves closer, “it’s okay if you can’t do this right now.”

“I know, but—” Clarke stops, wiping tears from her face, “I need to do this.” Without anything else, Clarke opens the car door and begins walking through the headstones. There’s so many that Bellamy is surprised anyone could ever find who they’re looking for, but Clarke knows exactly where she’s going. After a minute, she stops in front of a tall, white marble headstone.

_Wells Thelonious Jaha_

_November 25, 1996 – May 6, 2018_

_Loving son and best friend_

Bellamy watches as Clarke takes some tentative steps closer to the gravestone before reaching out and running her fingertips over the top of it. She sits down on the grass and continues running her fingers over the letters. It reminds him of Octavia when they visited their mom’s grave for the first time.

“Hey.” For a moment Bellamy almost responds, but then he realizes that Clarke isn’t talking to him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find my way back to you.” Bellamy stands behind her and listens as she continues to talk. He isn’t sure if there really is a life after this one, but for Clarke he hopes that there is. He’s never been a religious person, and from what he’s seen Clarke hasn’t been either, but he begins to wonder that if there really is a heaven and a hell, which one he would be going to.

After a while he decides to join Clarke on the grass. It’s cold, even with his jeans, but he doesn’t mind. When he situates himself, Clarke looks over and smiles. It’s a sad smile, but she grabs his hand then turns back to the stone in front of her. “I have someone I want you to meet.” Her hand tightens on his. “This is Bellamy. You always told me that I would find the right person for me, who would love me for who I am and bring light to my life when all I can see is darkness; you told me I would find someone who’ll love me with the same force I’m bound to love them, and I have.” She chokes up on the last words and Bellamy can feel a lump forming in the back of his throat, too.

His mind drifts back to earlier that day in the mall with Octavia and the present he decided on for Clarke. _I feel the same way_. When Clarke looks up at him this time, he presses a soft kiss to her forehead. “I love you too.” She smiles through her tears and Bellamy turns towards the headstone. He can give this a shot. “Hi, Wells, I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s all good, don’t worry.” Clarke lets out a surprised chuckles and he feels the corners of his mouth twitch up.

They spend the next thirty minutes just talking to Wells as if he’s sitting right across from them. Maybe he is, but they’ll never know for sure. When Bellamy finally stands, he holds out a hand to help Clarke up. Sitting down cross-legged is nice until you can’t feel your legs anymore. As they make their way back to the car, Bellamy’s phone dings with a text message from Raven.

_We don’t know where the two of you are, but we need to get ready to go,  
the airport is going to be packed_

Bellamy sighs as they get back into the car. He hates having to get to airport hours before the flight is supposed to leave, but he knows Raven is right. As they pull out of the cemetery, Clarke watches out the window as it flies past them once they get onto the road.

“How do you feel?” Bellamy silently curses himself once the words are out of his mouth. It’s stupid to ask considering she just visited her best friend’s grave. She doesn’t respond immediately, and he’s wondering if he messed up, bad.

“Better.” She says after a second. “I feel better.” She turns to look at him and he glances at her, holding out his hand for her to take.

“Do you think it’ll help once we get back home?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so.” She turns to look out the window again. “I always felt guilty for not visiting him before I left, but I couldn’t bring myself to.” She squeezes his hand. “Thank you, for coming with me.”

“Always, Princess.” He gives her a soft smile and watches as some of the sadness lifts from her face.

\---

Thankfully, everyone started packing while the two of them were gone, so Clarke doesn’t have to worry about someone falling behind or leaving something since now they have enough time to double check all of the rooms. She can tell that no one is excited to get to the airport, but they are ready to be back in Arkadia. They had all made Christmas plans before they left and most of those involve baking everything they can think of and watching so many Christmas movies that they’ll be sick of them by the time the new year comes around.

“God, I can’t wait to get home.” Murphy plops down onto the couch next to Clarke. “I miss my bed.”

“Your bed is _terrible_ , Murphy.” Clarke shoves his feet away from her. His bed back in Arkadia is old and lumpy, she would take the couch over his bed any day.

“My bed has been broken in, it’s comfortable.” Murphy smirks as he puts his hands behind his head and Clarke makes a gagging noise. The one and only time she had been on Murphy’s bed was right before he went to work and he wanted to wear something a little nicer for the girl he’s kind of seeing, Emori.

“You look like you’re about to be sick.” Raven says as she walks into the living room. “What did he do this time?”

“I did nothing! I just said that my bed is broken in so—”

“Alright, nope. Stopping you there. That’s gross.” Raven sits down on the loveseat and props up her leg. “Anyway, I’m packed and ready to go whenever.”

“Me too, I think everyone is just worried about forgetting something.”

“Oh, honey, you know if that’s the case I’ll send it to you.” Abby appears in the doorway of the living room. “So, is everyone almost ready?”

“Almost, Ms. Griffin.” Monty and Harper walk in with their coats in hand, followed by Octavia and Jasper. “Bellamy is helping Miller get his suitcase closed then we’ll be good to go.” As if on cue, Bellamy and Miller appear in the doorway too.

“Yep, all set.”

“I’m sorry I can’t drive you all to the airport myself—”

“It’s fine, mom, you’ve already done a lot.” Clarke reassures her.

“If you say so, honey.” Abby smiles then turns to everyone else. “Well, I guess you should all get going, but I’ll most likely see everyone tomorrow.”

Everyone stands up and says their goodbyes, the girls, and Jasper, all giving Abby a hug bye but all of them thanking her for letting them stay. Once they get everything packed into the car, Clarke sets off for the airport. Despite the fact that she had been riddled with anxiety at the thought of coming here in the beginning, it was better than she expected it to be.

\---

Getting through the airport was a nightmare and waiting to actually board the plane was just how Bellamy expected it to be: long and boring. Everyone tried keeping themselves entertained with made-up games, and Monty actually found a pack of playing cards to try and give them all something to do, but Bellamy was waiting to see if he would have time to organize all of the pictures once he’s on the plane. Clarke is already dozing off, her head resting on his shoulder, and he’s itching to get his laptop.

At the end of every day they’ve been there, everyone has sent him the pictures that they’ve taken. It’s kind of surprising to see how many they’ve gotten because he hardly noticed them being taken. There’s some from the first dinner they had at Abby’s house, some from all of the museums, the movie night, them in the kitchen, them kissing, holding hands, pointing at the Christmas tree. Well, _tons_ of them in front of the Christmas tree. There’s even some from the white house even though they were told that they shouldn’t take any pictures. _Thank you, Murphy_. Now all that’s left to do is get them organized and sent to Lincoln, who said he could have it all put together by tomorrow night and he could bring it with him when he comes over. _One more day…_

“ _Flight 473 to Arkadia is now boarding_.” The voice comes on the intercom and their entire group cheers, which leads to them getting some looks from some of the older couples, but they don’t care. They’re going home.

Once everyone gets settled into their seats, Clarke immediately falls asleep and Bellamy takes it as his chance to organize all of the pictures. Flipping through all of them, he can only hope that Clarke feels the same way he does when looking at them. This trip had been hard for her, but in all of these pictures she’s smiling. That’s all he ever wants her to do.

Bellamy spends the next hour organizing the pictures and making sure he’s dated them correctly before sending them all off to Lincoln. He’s already nervous about what Clarke is going to think, not only about the picture present, but of what else he bought her. He leans back, willing his mind to calm down so he can get some sleep before they land. _Tomorrow is going to be a long day_.

\---

When they land and finally gather their luggage, Lincoln, Wick, and Bryan are already waiting for them. Octavia runs and jumps into Lincoln’s arms, Raven goes to Wick who picks her up and spins her around, and Bryan and Miller give each other a kiss. Clarke’s always been a sucker for romance around Christmas time, and seeing her friends light up when they see the person they love makes her happy. Clarke watches as Lincoln leans over and whispers something in Bellamy's ear and Bellamy nods.  _Wonder what that's about_. 

“Glad everyone’s back in one piece.” Wick turns and smiles at everyone. “How was the trip?”

Wick’s question throws everyone into story-mode and no one has finished talking when they start trying to divide everyone up into the two cars, since Bryan and Miller are already supposed to be having dinner with Miller’s dad they can’t drive anyone home. Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy end up riding with Octavia and Lincoln while Jasper, Monty, and Harper ride with Raven and Wick. After the long plane ride, the trip back to the house is relatively short and everyone practically runs into the house.

“Home sweet home.” Murphy sighs as he lays down on the armchair. “I’ve missed you chair.”

“Murphy! Get your shit into your room and out from in front of the door!”

“ _That_ I have not missed.” Murphy grumbles before grabbing his suitcase and hauling it up the stairs.

“Food!” Jasper skips into the kitchen and throws the doors open but his face falls. “Aw, I think we have to go grocery shopping.”

“Don’t worry, we have to do that anyways, for tomorrow.” Octavia pats him on the back.

Clarke hauls her suitcase up the stairs and deposits it into her room and changes into pajamas before joining everyone downstairs. Octavia is going back home with Lincoln, and Clarke is pretty sure Wick is going to stay at the house with Raven, but she knows that the last thing anyone wants to do is go grocery shopping right now. When she sits down on the love seat, she can see that everyone has already changed into more comfortable clothes, too.

“So, we haven’t eaten dinner,” Raven points out, sitting on the couch next to Wick. “What do we do?”

“Well, _I_ definitely don’t want to go to the store right now.” Murphy yawns from his place on the armchair and theirs a chorus of agreements from everyone else.

“Right, so, what are our options?”

“Fast food or take out?” Harper sighs as she sits down next to Clarke on the loveseat. “Even if we did go shopping I’m not sure any of us would want to cook.” Harper yawns which triggers everyone else to yawn.

“I vote fast food!” Murphy holds up a hand and Clarke watches as Bellamy rolls his eyes.

“McDonald’s isn’t healthy enough.”

“ _McDonald’s isn’t healthy enough_ ,” Murphy mimics, “neither is the amount of alcohol we drink.”

“I don’t remember the last time I had McDonald’s.” Clarke chimes in and Bellamy looks at her, hurt.

“Et tu, Brute?”

“Oh, quit being dramatic, Bell.” Octavia tilts her head back to look at Bellamy whose standing behind the couch. “It’s just a little fast food.”

“And it’s cheap.” Raven points out.

“Please?” Clarke bats her eyes at her boyfriend and the corners of Bellamy’s mouth turn up before he lets out a sigh.

“I guess.”

Everyone whoops and cheers and they all file out of the house again. Being in D.C. with everyone was fun, and Clarke still knew her way around the city, but there’s just something about being back in Arkadia that just screams _home_. The bell tower chiming the time in the center of the college campus, Louie’s Café that never closes, the bookstore, the coffee shop, The Dropship, the familiar roads lined with the Victorian-looking lampposts that give off a yellow light.

The roads that they travel down she’s only known for a few months, but in those few months they’ve come as familiar as the house she lives in. Once upon a time, Clarke expected to stay close to D.C., not branching out very far from her mother and father, or Wells, but now she can see that that would’ve been one of the worst decisions she could’ve made. She was never meant to be a big city kind of person, falling asleep to the sounds of cars on the interstate every night. No. She’s meant to be in Arkadia, and she’s meant to be with the people she’s come to love. This is where she’s supposed to be, and this is where she’s going to stay.

Thankfully, Octavia and Harper decided to start getting everyone’s orders together before they even pulled into the drive-thru because Clarke is pretty sure they would’ve been there forever if Jasper and Murphy hadn’t had enough time to decide on what they wanted. Since they’ve ordered so much food, they get told to pull off to the side and they all decide to start thinking about what exactly they’re going to bake tomorrow. They had decided that they were going to bake everything they could think of, but they hadn’t exactly _thought_ of anything yet.

“Chocolate chip cookies!”

“That’s a given.”

“Snickerdoodles?”

“I don’t know, I’ve always thought they’re plane.

“Sugar cookies?”

“Of course.”

Clarke sits back and leans into Bellamy’s side more and listens to everyone talk. This is going to be the first Christmas she’s spent with this many people. Their plan is to spend Christmas Eve with each other and bake and watch movies, and then Christmas Day they’re all going to go to Kane’s for Christmas Dinner with is mom and Sinclair. Clarke would feel bad for not spending Christmas with her mother, but she’s technically having dinner with her on Christmas Eve, so that’s still something. _Why_ Dante Wallace would want to drag a bunch of people away from their families on Christmas Eve, she has no idea, and she resents him for it. Among other things.

“Are you happy to be back home?” Bellamy nuzzles against her hair and she smiles.

“You have no idea.”

“Could you two _not_ do that right next to me?” Murphy groans and throws his head back.

“If Emori was here you’d be doing the same thing.” Clarke points out and Murphy rolls his eyes.

“At least we’d give you something to look at, not just making sex eyes.”

“They’re making sex eyes again?” Raven Calls from the backseat where she’s sitting on Wick’s lap.

“Sex eyes?” Bellamy looks over at Raven who smirks.

“You two are the king and queen of _sex eyes_ when looking at each other, Blake.”

“Like you’re one to talk, Raven!”

“Food!” Jasper opens the sliding door and jumps out of the van, scaring the poor workers to where they almost drop everything. There’s a conveyer line from Jasper to the inside the truck and, thankfully, everyone’s orders are paired up pretty well.

Instead of heading back home, they all just sit in Monty’s van and he opens up the sunroof so they can look at the sky while they eat. It’s the little things like this that reminds Clarke of growing up with Wells, and the things they used to do together. There were a lot of late night runs to Sonic and McDonald’s and a lot of just driving around with no destination in mind.

They sit and eat their food and talk about what they want to do tomorrow and they all start wondering about what they should get Kane for Christmas, even though he insisted that they didn’t need to get him anything. It’s all so laid back and relaxed and it’s nice after spending almost a week doing nothing but walking around all over D.C.. Clarke wouldn’t change any of this time with her friends for anything. _At least there’s tonight before everything tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters and an epilogue after this...it's going to be sad to see this story end <3
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve and Dante's dinner party
> 
> Since this chapter is really long, I'm sorry for any spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes!

When Clarke wakes up the next morning, she _really_ wishes she could keep sleeping but she’s still stuck on D.C. time. She looks over and can see Bellamy sitting in front of his laptop, he’s shirtless and his black curls blend with the darkness in the rest of the room. She takes a minute to just watch him. He has his glasses on, which is something she hasn’t seen in a while, and he looks like he’s really lost in thought. She rolls over and hugs a pillow closer to her and the movement catches his attention.

“Good morning, you’re up early.” Bellamy gives her a lazy grin and shuts his laptop. He stands up and stretches before crawling back into bed with her.

“I could say the same for you.” Clarke smiles and moves closer towards him. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long, only thirty minutes.” He sighs and runs a hand through his curls, making them stand up even more. “I think I’m still stuck on D.C. time.”

“Me too, but,” Clarke starts to fiddle with the edge of the comforter, “I think it’s also because I’m nervous about tonight.”

Bellamy moves down the bed further and turns to look at her. “If you don’t want to go, I’m sure we can try to get out of it.” That’s definitely something Clarke has thought about, but she knows her mother won’t let her out of this. Not even if she had the flu.

“I’m trying to think of it as a means to an end.” Clarke reaches up and threads her fingers with his. “A few hours at a free dinner and then I’ll never have to hear from Dante Wallace ever again. He promised that Cage would never bother me again and after this, hopefully he won’t either.”

“Do you think you can trust Dante?”

“So far he’s kept his word about Cage not bothering me, I think this is supposed to be a show of good faith or something.”

Bellamy reaches up and runs his free hand through her hair. “You can do this, and I’ll be right there with you. So will Octavia and Lincoln, come to think about it.”

“Oh, that’s right! I forgot that Lincoln is going to be photographing the event.” Having Bellamy there was more than enough for Clarke but knowing that the other Blake sibling and Lincoln are going to be there is even better.

“I know that the idea of having to even see Dante again isn’t the best, but it’s going to be fine.”

“How do you know that?” Clarke smiles up at Bellamy, and he leans forward, kissing her nose.

“Because all of us are going to make sure that nothing happens.”

“Like my knight in shining armor.” Clarke gives him a sleepy grin.

“A knight by his princess’ side.” He grins too and Clarke leans forward, pressing her lips to his.

“Is my knight tired?”

Bellamy caresses the side of her face and smiles. “I’ve never been more awake.” Clarke breaks out in a fit of giggles and rolls on top of him.

“You are so cheesy.” She grins once more before leaning down to kiss him again.

\---

After the two of them finally got up for the day, Bellamy went to work on breakfast and Clarke decided that she was going to spend some time drawing in her room. No matter what, drawing has always helped her calm her nerves, and that’s something she could use before tonight. She lets herself get lost in the charcoal spreading across the paper and her friend’s faces taking shape across pages and pages. She doesn’t know how long she’s drawing when a knock comes from her door and she turns to see Raven smirking at her. Clarke quickly shuts her sketchbook and turns around, trying to hide any evidence of what she’d been up to.

“Hey, what’s up?” Clarke gives her friend a smile and Raven quirks an eyebrow.

“I could ask the same thing to you.”

“Last minute Christmas thing.” Clarke gets up and walks towards the door, motioning for Raven to lead the way down the hall.

“Right,” Raven gives her a sideways look before stopping at the stairs. “I know that tonight isn’t going to be the best, but Merry Christmas, Clarke.”

“Merry Christmas, Raven.” Clarke smiles and they both descend the stairs together.

The living room is full of organized chaos and Clarke wonders how she didn’t hear it all before. Monty and Jasper are singing along to _The Polar Express_ , Harper and Octavia are cheering them on, Bellamy, Lincoln, and Murphy are all in the kitchen and it looks like Murphy is already pouring spiced rum into everyone’s hot chocolate. She narrowly misses being dragged into dance, but Raven isn’t so lucky, and Clarke makes her way into the kitchen.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to let her out of my sight either.” She hears Lincoln tell Bellamy. The two of them are splitting the food up between everyone’s plates. Wick comes in through the back door with his arms full of logs from the side of the house but sets them down when he sees the food.

“Done!” Murphy exclaims as he finishes putting rum in the last cup. He notices Clarke and immediately hands her one. “The best way to be at a dinner party you don’t want to go to is drunk! Here’s my Christmas present for you.” He winks and Clarke takes the mug, shaking her head.

“How your liver is still functioning I will never know.”

“Cockroaches survive, Griffin.” He grins before turning towards the living room and announcing for everyone to come and get their drinks.

“Hello, Princess.” Bellamy slides an arm around her, nuzzling her hair. “Merry Christmas Eve.”

“Yes, it is.” Clarke smiles then turns her head up to press their lips together.

“So, what do we do first?” Octavia hops onto the counter near where Lincoln is leaning, and he hands her a plate.

“Eat.” Jasper says, and he’s already shoveling eggs into his mouth. “Then eat some more.”

“We’ll have to duck out in a few hours so we can get ready for the dinner.” Lincoln motions between himself and Octavia.

“Right, so will we.” Bellamy nods his head in agreement and Clarke can already feel the uneasiness spreading in her stomach.

“Okay, so we’ll just have to get the major stuff out of the way before help you get ready.” Harper chimes in.

“Alright, then that’s settled.” Raven smiles before popping a piece of bacon in her mouth. “Let’s have some fun.”

\---

As soon as everyone finished eating, they all made sure to clean the kitchen before absolutely wrecking it again. Harper was by far the only person that was used to baking for so many people, but everyone in the house chipped in to help, even Murphy. They even had a race to see who could make the best sugar cookie. Obviously, Clarke was going to win by a landslide but that didn’t mean that Bellamy didn’t try his best to be her competition. In the end, Octavia and Jasper decided that it was tie because while Clarke’s had more style, Bellamy’s tasted better. _How_ they got those results Clarke will never know because they had all been baked the same.

About halfway through a batch of chocolate chip brownies the doorbell rang, and Murphy sprinted towards the door. Everyone stood around looking at each other, unsure of what was happening, but when Murphy walked in with a gorgeous brunette with tanned skin and a face tattoo, Clarke immediately knew it was Emori. Two of her fingers are fused together on her left hand and that only added to how badass she looks.

“Guys, this is Emori, Emori, these are my roommates.” Murphy quickly runs through the introductions and everyone says hi. Murphy hadn’t told them that he invited Emori, but Clarke takes her second drink and walks towards the other girls, handing it to her as an ice breaker.

“Merry Christmas.” Clarke smiles and the other girl does the same.

“Merry Christmas.”

“So, Emori,” both Clarke and the other girl turn to look at Raven, “you like to party?”

A grin spreads across Emori’s face and Clarke can see the same mischievous glint in her eyes that she’s always seen in Murphy’s. “You can bet your ass I do.”

“Then let’s party, bitches!” Octavia whoops from the kitchen counter and everyone follows suit.

\---

They all spend the next few hours alternating between baking, watching Christmas movies, and they even had a _very_ intense game of Cards Against Humanity, but Harper ended up winning because she has got a very dirty mind. At some point, everyone even changed into their _Delinquents_ shirts and began taking pictures in front of the Christmas tree. As it’s nearing time for Lincoln and Octavia to leave and for Bellamy and Clarke to start getting ready, another person rings the doorbell and this time, no one rushes to answer it. Clarke’s mother had texted her shortly after breakfast to tell her than she and Jaha had made it into town and would be by later to pick her and Bellamy up for the dinner, but she said nothing about stopping by. Bellamy decides to get up and see who it is, and when he opens the door Clarke watches as his face breaks out into a smile and he steps aside to let someone in. It’s Kane.

“What are you doing here?” Bellamy asks, taking some bags from one of Kane’s hands and Octavia jumps up to take the bags from the other.

“Well, since I know all of you usually never actually cook anything on Christmas Eve besides cookies and sweets, I figured I’d bring some food for everyone.” He looks at everyone around the room before his eyes falling onto Emori. “Hi, I’m Marcus Kane, I don’t believe we’ve met before.” Kane holds out a hand and the other girl shakes it.

“Emori, I’m John’s girlfriend.” She gives him a lopsided smile and Kane’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

“Murphy has a girlfriend?”

“Believe me, we were all shocked.” Raven smirks from her place on the couch and everyone else chuckles.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Emori. Will you be coming for dinner tomorrow? Do you have any plans?”

“Oh, uh, I haven’t thought about it but, no, I don’t have plans.”

“Well then that’s settled,” Kane claps his hands together. “I need to make another t-shirt.”

“If you keep this up, you’re going to have a small army.” Murphy saunters over to Emori and throws an arm around her.

“That’s the plan.” Marcus winks and Clarke can see Octavia smirk and roll her eyes.

“Come on, Kane, you brought food so you should get some.” Bellamy steers the older man towards the kitchen, and everyone follows.

The food is a bunch of takeout from Louie’s and everyone crowds into the kitchen to get some of it. They’re all digging into the assortment of breakfast-like food when the doorbell rings _again_ and everyone around the kitchen stops to stare. They’ve never gotten this many people to show up unannounced in one day and Clarke can see that they’re all getting a little on edge because of it. This time it’s Raven who goes to answer the door and Clarke is pretty sure that’s because she wants to be able to turn them away.

“Uh, Abby? Come in.” Clarke pokes her head around the door in time to see her mother and Jaha walk through the front door. Thankfully, neither of them are dressed yet so that means Clarke can be let off the hook for having not even starting to get ready. Though that doesn’t mean that Clarke’s stomach doesn’t clinch at the potential reason as to why her mother is here.

“Hello, Raven.” Abby leans forward and gives Raven a hug while Jaha just smiles with a bunch of wrapped boxes in his hands. “I don’t mean to intrude, but I’ve brought everyone presents.”

“Mom?” Clarke moves out of the kitchen and across the living room to where her mother is standing.

“Clarke!” Her mother turns her thousand-watt smile towards her and wraps her in a hug too. “I’m sorry for barging in, I just wanted to drop everyone’s presents off before the dinner tonight.”

“Presents?” Clarke’s eyebrows furrow and she looks over at Jaha who has already started placing the presents under the tree.

“It’s nothing much, just a little something since it’s Christmas.” Abby looks at her and Clarke can feel her heart swell with love for her mother. This is the same woman who couldn’t believe that Clarke had moved in with people who called themselves Delinquents and then opened her house to them for nearly a week. Now she’s gotten them all presents. Everyone else has moved out of the kitchen now and Clarke can feel Bellamy behind her. “Oh, Bellamy!” Abby notices him too. “Thank you for helping me with this, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Clarke turns and quirks an eyebrow at him, and he only shrugs. “She asked and I couldn’t say no.” He gives her a lopsided grin and Clarke shakes her head, smiling.

“Marcus?” Jaha has finally finished putting the presents underneath the tree and he’s staring at the man who hung back in the kitchen.

“Thelonious.” Kane moves from his place leaning against the island and walks towards Jaha, extending his hand. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Jaha shakes his hand before turning towards Abby who seems to be reliving old memories. Clarke has seen that face more than once.

“Hey, Abby.” Kane gives her a small smile and Abby returns it, giving him a hug, too.

“It’s been a while.” Abby says when they pull apart.

“Too long,” Kane says, looking between her and Jaha.

Clarke and everyone else decide to let the _grownups_ have a moment to catch up and Clarke realizes that it’s almost time for Lincoln and Octavia to leave and for her and Bellamy to get ready. As the time left dwindles, Clarke can feel her anxiety begin to try and surface. It’s only when Bellamy and Raven appear at her sides and ground her that it starts to go away. _You can do this_. She refuses to freak out while her mother and Jaha are still in the house.

After about ten minutes Lincoln and Octavia make their way towards the door, saying goodbye to Kane and telling Abby and Jaha that they’ll see them at the dinner, and Abby and Jaha decide that they should probably start getting ready too. Clarke heads back into the living room as they’re all finishing up their conversation.

“So, see you tomorrow, then?” Kane asks, looking at Jaha.

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it.”

“Clarke, honey, we’re about to head out but we’ll be back in two hours to pick you up.”

“Sounds good, mom.” Clarke gives her mom a half-hearted smile, unable to really bring herself to be happy at the thought of going. Abby seems to pick up on this because she reaches out and holds Clarke’s face.

“Listen, it’s going to be fine. I’ve been promised that Cage will be nowhere near the dinner and I’m going to make sure that nothing happens. Okay?”

“Okay, mom.”

“I love you, darling.”

“I love you too.” Clarke goes into her mother’s arms willingly. Kane’s words about children needing their parents echoing in her head.

After her mom and Jaha leave, Kane decides it’s time to take his leave too. He also tells everyone that he’s invited Abby and Jaha to Christmas dinner at his house as well, since it wouldn’t have been right to let them fend for themselves so far away from home. Now Clarke wouldn’t be spending Christmas away from her mom after all. Once he’s gone, Raven and Harper, along with Emori who doesn’t seem like she knows what’s going on, drag Clarke up to Raven’s room so they can start getting her ready for the dinner. She expected it to be like this, so thankfully she and Bellamy had already figured out what he was going to wear beforehand. Now it was just a matter of getting her to look presentable when all she wants to do is throw up.

\---

Surprisingly, it was Murphy who helped Bellamy tie his tie while Wick, Jasper, and Monty all dug around for something to hold Bellamy’s cuffs together. He had talked to Clarke and she said that cufflinks were usually worn for something like this, but he didn’t own any. He hadn’t even owned a tux until they were in D.C. and the guys helped him pick one out. Though he didn’t realize then that he hadn’t gotten the cufflinks. He really doesn’t like wearing dress clothes like this, they make him feel uneasy, but Dante had made it very clear that this was a black-tie event, so they were mandatory.

Bellamy runs his fingers through his hair and looks at the guys in his room. “I guess we’ll just call this good.” He sighs and takes one more look in the mirror.

“Knock, knock.” Clarke’s voice comes from the other side of his bedroom door and everyone stops their bustling around.

“Come in!” Bellamy calls before turning to everyone. “Thanks for helping.”

“No problem,” Wick grins. “You look nice.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.”

“You clean up good.”

“You still look hideous, Blake.”

“Thanks, Murphy.”

Clarke walks into the room and smiles at everyone. Bellamy’s heart screeches to a halt inside of his chest. Her golden hair has been curled and it bounces as she walks, but her makeup has been kept relatively simple so he can still see her ocean blue eyes that are only amplified by her dark blue dress. She’s even wearing silver gloves that reach her elbows and a necklace of pears that rests at the base of her throat. Clarke Griffin is a walking goddess and he’s about to fall at her feet, willing to do whatever she asks. He can see the girl she was trained to be in the way she holds herself and walks across the room. Her head is high, her shoulders are back, and her back is straight. He’s pretty sure he could place a book on top of her head, and have it stay there.

Her heels click across the floor before she comes to a stop in front of him. This close, he can see the slight blush on her cheeks and pearl earrings that match her necklace. Bellamy wonders if this is a dream and he’s about to wake up when she speaks, “You look handsome.” She smiles up at him and he’s able to speak when she reaches up and touches the collar of his jacket.

“You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on.” He murmurs, looking down at her. Someone snorts from the doorway and Bellamy looks up to see Murphy lingering even though everyone had snuck out. “Fuck off, Murphy.”

“You’re a corny asshole, Blake.” Murphy calls before slipping out into the hall and shutting the door behind him.

“I really hate him sometimes.” Bellamy reaches up and tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“You love him, and you know it.” She smiles at him and he’s never been more bewitched than he is now.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” She leans forward and kisses him. He doesn’t have to bend down too far now since her heels have given her a few more inches. “I have something for you.” She says when they pull apart and then she produces a sleek black box with a white ribbon that he hadn’t realizes she had been holding.

“What’s this?” He asks, weighing the box in his hand.

“Just a little present before Christmas.”

“But I didn’t get you anything.” Technically he had, but that was for later.

“Just open it.” She grins at him and he smirks.

“As the Princess wishes.” He makes quick work of the white ribbon and opens it. Inside, sitting on black velvet is a pair of cufflinks with two intertwining _B_ ’s on each. _Bellamy Blake_.

“When I first heard about the dinner, I knew you would need these, so I ordered them and got them from my mom’s when we were in D.C.,” she says, biting on her lower lip. “Do you like them?”

He looks up at the wonderful girl standing before him, who looks so unsure about a gift that is one of the most thoughtful things he’s ever been given, and his heart threatens to beat out of his chest. He wraps an arm around her waist and brings her in for a kiss. He’ll have lipstick on after this, but he doesn’t care, he just wants to kiss her.

“I love this, and I love you.” He says between pants once they break apart. “God, I’ll never know how I got so lucky.” Clarke giggles and he can feel himself smiling like a goofball. He doesn’t know if it’s just the fact that she’s dressed like a walking goddess or if seeing her like this is just giving him visions of their wedding day, but something makes him want to never stop telling her how beautiful she is or how much he loves her. _Maybe she’s Aphrodite. That would explain a lot_.

“I could say the same.” She murmurs, looking up at him. “May I?” She motions towards the box and he holds it out for her while she takes one of the cufflinks and begins fastening it to his cuffs, then she does the same with the other side. “There. You’re going to break every girl’s heart tonight.”

“There’s only one girl’s heart that I care about,” he says, wrapping both of his arms around her waist and leaning his forehead against hers, “and I don’t plan on breaking it.”

“Good, because that would make the plans that I have for afterwards pretty awkward.” She gives him a sly grin and he smirks.

“Clarke Griffin, you are insatiable.”

“And you have lipstick on your mouth.” She giggles before reaching up to try and wipe it away. “My mom and Jaha are going to be here in about five minutes so I should fix my lipstick.” Bellamy pouts and it pulls another giggle from Clarke. “Okay, _one_ more kiss.” Bellamy grins and crashes his lips onto hers, resisting the urge to thread his fingers into her hair so he doesn’t ruin the curls. But she doesn’t hold herself from doing that.

When they pull apart, Bellamy tries to chase her lips, but Clarke pulls back and holds up a hand. “No, I said one!” She grins before taking a step back and out of Bellamy’s arms, but he follows her. “Bellamy, no!” She giggles as she bolts for the door, leaving Bellamy looking at her from in front of his bed. She stops at the door and turns around; he can see the playfulness he feels reflected in her eyes. “Five minutes, babe, don’t make me have to come get you.”

“You’re cute when you’re bossy.” He smirks and she rolls her eyes, still smiling.

“You are corny.” She gives him a wink that makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. “See you soon, handsome.”

“Yes, you will.” With that, she’s gone, and he’s left grinning like the Cheshire cat in his bedroom.

\---

One thing Abby Griffin does not do is being late, so Clarke should have expected her mother to be calling her as she left Bellamy’s room even though she still had five minutes.

“I’m almost ready, mom, I promise.”

“Almost? You’re not ready yet?”

“I just have to put some touches on my makeup.”

“For goodness sake, Clarke, you take forever to put your makeup on.” Abby huffs and Clarke rolls her eyes, wedging the phone between her ear and her shoulder so she can use both hands to apply her lipstick and clean up the edges.

“I still have four minutes; I’ll be in the car then.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I know, mom. See you in three.”

“See you then, honey.” The line goes dead and Clarke tosses her phone onto her bed.

By the time she gets to the stairs she has exactly one minute until she told her mom she would be in the car and, thankfully, Bellamy is already waiting for her with her coat in his hand. Everyone has crowded around the front door to see them all off and Clarke wishes she could stay with them, more than anything.

“Remember, Clarke, just call and I have shovels ready.” Murphy smirks and Clarke can feel a little of the weight lift from her shoulders.

“Oh, count me in.” Emori smirks.

“Yeah, and we’ll all be standing by in the group chat if you need us.” Harper gives her a reassuring smile and a lump begins to form in Clarke’s throat.

“You got this, Clarke.” Raven places her hands on both of Clarke’s shoulders. “You’re a bad bitch and you need to show Dante Wallace that.”

“We believe in you, Clarke.” Jasper smiles at her from over Raven’s shoulder.

“Of course, if anyone can do this, it’s you,” Monty chimes in.

“Kick some ass, Griffin.” Wick gives her a wink.

A car’s horn sounds from the driveway and Clarke’s heartrate picks up. “I guess that’s our cue.” She turns towards everyone and she gets enveloped in a group hug consisting of Monty, Jasper, and Harper. Even though she’s caught up in getting hugged, Clarke can still hear Raven tell Bellamy “ _take care of her, Blake.”_

Once Clarke is free, everything is a blur until Clarke is sitting in the backseat of Abby and Jaha’s rental Audi. She can’t help but fiddle with her gloves on their way to the Wallace mansion, but Bellamy takes one of her hands and intertwines it with his, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. It goes a long way in grounding her, so her mind doesn’t start to wander. Forgetting about her mom and Jaha in the front seat, it’s like her and Bellamy are in their own world until they all pull into the Wallace driveway.

Obviously, Clarke shouldn’t have expected anything less than grand coming from the Wallace’s, so she wasn’t surprised to see the three story, white house looming in front of them. Jaha and Bellamy both get out of the car and they open the doors for her and her mother. A valet takes the keys from Jaha and Clarke and Bellamy take one last look at each other before she takes his arm as they follow the older couple into the house and a butler takes their jackets.

Dante Wallace is greeting the guests when they get into the foyer and Clarke’s grip on Bellamy’s arm tightens and he squeezes her hand in reassurance. She takes a deep breath and straightens, pulling herself to her full height. As they reach him, Clarke sees a familiar figure out the corner of her eye and when she looks, she sees a stunning Octavia Blake hovering by the entrance to the dining hall with a glass of champagne in her hand; her piercing green eyes focused on her brother and Clarke. She winks and Clarke can feel herself smile.

“Ah, Abigail, Thelonious.” Dante greets her mother and Jaha first before turning towards Clarke and Bellamy. “Clarke, it’s wonderful to see you again, I hope you’re feeling well.” Dante gives her a polite smile and Clarke forces one. “Nice to see you, too, Bellamy.” Dante holds out his hand and Bellamy shakes it. “I see you’ve adhered to the dress code.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, thank you all for coming, there’s food lined up in the dining hall, dinner will be served in an hour, please enjoy yourselves.” Dante gives them all one last smile before turning to greet the guests that had started to line up behind them.

As soon as they’re free Clarke steers Bellamy towards Octavia, who seemed to have gotten two more glasses of champagne while she was waiting, before her mother can say something. When they reach her, Octavia holds the glasses out and Clarke takes her willingly. “Clarke Griffin, you are a walking dream.”

“So are you, Octavia.” Clarke smiles at her. “You look like a Bond girl.” Octavia’s hair had been waved and swept to the side and she’s wearing a floor-length black dress

“Thank you.” Octavia winks before turning her attention towards Bellamy. “And you, big brother, if the girls thought you were a knockout in high school, I wonder what the cougars are going to think of you tonight.”

Bellamy chokes on his champagne and Clarke pats him on the back. “ _What_?”

“Oh, the women have been all _over_ Lincoln since we got here.” Octavia looks across the foyer to where Lincoln is taking a picture of Abby and Jaha, but not far away is a group of older women openly staring at him. “I’ve never wanted to punch a grandmother so much in my life.”

“Go over there and stake your claim.” Clarke says simply. “He may be working but he’s also a guest at this dinner and you _are_ his date. Come on.” Clarke links her free arm with Octavia’s, and she begins walking the Blake siblings where Lincoln and Abby are.

Her mother smiles when she sees them and beckons for them to take a picture with her and Jaha. Lincoln smiles at them and quickly takes a lot of pictures of them, some of which she’s pretty sure are only for them, and when he’s done Octavia links her arm through his and he turns his bright smile towards his girlfriend. Much to the dismay of the older women behind them, and Octavia gives her a wink before Clarke and Bellamy are whisked away by her mom.

“So, darling, we’ve made it through the introductions.”

“Yeah, now we have to get through the dinner.” Clarke mumbles and Abby pats her cheek.

“It’s going to be fine, Clarke, I can see that you’ve already found Octavia and I’m sure Bellamy will never leave your side.” Abby glances towards Bellamy.

“Yes ma’am.”

“And I won’t be too far. Try to have fun, honey.”

“Does this mean you won’t have me make small talk with a bunch of people?” Clarke asks, raising her eyebrows, and her mom smiles.

“I think we’ll survive without you.” Abby winks and Clarke smiles.

“Thanks, mom.” Clarke gives her mom a quick hug.

“You’re welcome, now, go dance.” Abby motions towards the ballroom and Clarke looks and sees that there’s no one dancing. She wonders if it’s going to be like the high school dances where most people only dance if there’s a slow song and their partners drag them into it.

Without another word, Clarke and Bellamy make their way into the ballroom and Clarke immediately finds Octavia and Lincoln. Though the older ladies seemed to have migrated into the ballroom as well. Clarke and Bellamy make their way towards them and Clarke can see the exact moment that the older ladies notice Bellamy, though he doesn’t seem to notice.

“The two of you are sticking by me for the rest of the night,” Octavia groans as the two of them reach her. “No one is dancing but the old men keep asking me to, and since Lincoln is taking pictures, he can’t fight them off.”

“I thought you would fight them off yourself, O.”

“Not these men, Bell, they’re old and creepy.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” Clarke winks and Octavia smirks.

“Bellamy, are you going to ask her to dance?” Octavia looks at Bellamy who turns to look at the dancefloor.

“Um—”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Octavia smiles before grabbing Clarke’s hand. “Dance with me, babe?”

“I’d be delighted.” Clarke grins before turning to Bellamy. “Try not to let the cougars get to you.” Clarke glances towards the corner and she can see Bellamy’s Adam’s apple bob before looking in the same direction.

Her and Octavia make their way to the center of the dance floor and there’s _a_ lot of eyes on the two of them, but Clarke couldn’t care less, and she knows for a fact that Octavia doesn’t care either. The song is an instrumental version of “Winter Wonderland” and the two of them position themselves with Clarke resting her hand on Octavia’s waist and Octavia putting her hand on Clarke’s shoulder, then they link their hands together.

“So, in your old life, is this completely taboo?” Octavia asks once they get into their own rhythm.

“Oh, definitely.” Clarke smiles. “Right now, two men are staring, and their wives look like they’ve swallowed Monty’s Mixers of Death.”

Octavia laughs before moving her eyes to something over Clarke’s shoulder. “It looks like the cougars have cornered Bellamy now, but Lincoln is still close.”

“Oh god, how is he doing?”

The two girls smile at each other then move around until Clarke is facing the same direction Octavia had been facing. Bellamy is, in fact, cornered by the older ladies and she watches as Lincoln tries to coax the women into a picture, _away_ from Bellamy, but they seem to insist on dragging Bellamy into it with them.

Clarke and Octavia spend the rest of the song laughing and twirling around while they talk about the horrified looks that they’re getting. When the song ends, Bellamy and Lincoln appear at Clarke and Octavia’s sides.

“Care to dance, Princess?” Bellamy holds out his hand and bows a little.

“Will you dance with me, _ai hodnes_?” Lincoln holds his hand out for Octavia, seeming to have left his camera behind.

“I’d love to.” The girls answer in unison and their boyfriends pull them into dancing immediately.

After a minute of swaying around, Bellamy pulls Clarke close enough to where he can whisper in her ear. “I cannot believe you left me to get attacked by those older ladies.”

“In my defense, I did try to warn you.” Clarke smirks and leans her cheek against his.

“Mmm…I think you enjoyed watching me fight for my life.”

“Don’t worry, if any of them had pounced I would’ve road to your defense.”

“So, does that mean that you’d be my knight in shining armor then?”

“As long as I can still be a Princess.”

“You’ll always be a Princess, Clarke.” Bellamy pulls back and gives Clarke a kiss. The room melts away and Clarke only focuses on Bellamy and his arms around her. She’s dreaded this dinner for weeks but being here with him is all she can think about now.

“May I cut in?” Dante’s voice shatters their bubble and they pull apart. Bellamy glances at Clarke and she nods her head once. It’s a minute movement but it’s enough for Bellamy to understand and he moves away, handing Clarke’s hand off to Dante.

The next song begins and her and Dante move into the waltz. Her mother had made her learn how to dance when she was young, and she always hated it, but it helps in situations like this. Though she hoped she would never have to be in a situation like this again.

“I hope you are enjoying your time here, Clarke.” Dante says as they move across the floor. “You certainly put the room into an uproar with your first dance.”

“Oh, well it’s nice to know that everyone here isn’t dead.” Clarke quips back and she can see something flash in Dante’s eyes.

“I’m happy to see that you’re fully recovered.”

“Thank you.” They continue to move, and Clarke decides that she should play nice. “And thank you for inviting me and agreeing to let Bellamy come.”

“My pleasure.” There’s some more silence. “I truly am sorry for what happened, Clarke.” Clarke turns her attention towards Dante. “I knew that Cage was—is—disturbed, but I didn’t realize the lengths he was willing to go to.”

“You can’t blame yourself for your son being a psychopath, Dante.” Though, she’s pretty sure that some would argue that it’s the way the child is raised that could lead to that.

“The parent’s do play some role in how their child comes out, Clarke.” He pauses, seeming to weigh his next words. “You truly are your father’s daughter. He would be proud of the woman you’ve become.” Clarke wants to tell him to not talk about her father, but she can’t. Her heart is beating at a thousand miles an hour and she can feel tears prick her eyes, but she can’t let Dante see her cry.

“Thank you.” _She needs to get out of there_.

“Dinner, is served!” A waiter calls from the doorway and everyone quits dancing.

“Allow me to escort you to dinner.” Dante takes Clarke’s hand and wraps it around his arm. Clarke looks for Bellamy, but she can’t find him, though she does see Octavia and Lincoln heading out the door. _Bellamy, where are you?_

“Would you excuse me for a moment? I need to freshen up.”

“Of course, the bathroom is down the hall, third door on the left.”

Clarke turns down the hall but doesn’t stop at the bathroom, instead she keeps going until she reaches the backdoor and she pushes it open, throwing herself into the cold air. She should’ve known that this house was going to have a multi-acre garden and a water fountain. She stops when she reaches the fountain, reveling in how the cold air burns her lungs. She had expected a lot to happen tonight, but Dante bringing up her father was not one of them. The fact that Dante would even _try_ to talk about her father after what he did to him…how could he? Dante Wallace has caused her family so much pain, how he could stand there and say that her father would be proud of her is ironic.

“Clarke?” Bellamy’s deep voice comes from behind her and she turns to look at him. Her tears drying on her cheeks as they come out. “Clarke, what happened?” Bellamy jogs towards her, taking his jacket off as he goes. When he reaches her, he wraps the jacket around her shoulders and she huddles into it, leaning towards him and burying her face in his neck. “Oh, Clarke.” Bellamy wraps his arms around her. “I went to the bathroom and when I came back, Octavia had said that she saw you run off.”

Clarke tries to control her breathing and Bellamy doesn’t say anything as she does so. “Dante,” she starts, pulling back to look up at him, “he told me that I was my father’s daughter, and that he would be proud of me.” She can feel the tears begin to fall down her face again. “How can say something like that after everything he’s done to my family? He doesn’t get to talk about my father!” Her voice rises and Clarke realizes that her voice carries back here.

“It’s okay, Clarke, I’m here.” Bellamy tightens his arms around her, and she lays her head back on his chest.

“My father was a good man. I’ve tried to be the person that he would’ve wanted me to be, but I don’t know if he would like who I am or not. I can’t—he—I’ll never know if really is proud of me or if that’s just something I would like to believe.” A sob racks Clarke’s body and Bellamy continues to hold her.

“Hey,” Bellamy begins once she’s calmed down, “you are one of the best people I have ever met, Clarke. You have so much love and you care for everyone so deeply; you are stronger than people believe. No one could go through what you’ve been through and still come to something like this. I never met your father, but I know for a fact that he would love the woman you’ve become, and I know that your mother and Jaha are both proud of you.”

Fresh tears slip down Clarke’s cheeks, but this time it’s because of Bellamy’s words. He reaches up to move her hair out of her face before pressing a kiss to her forehead. She leans into him, savoring the warmth he has despite the frigid air. When they pull apart, she notices that she’s left a line of mascara from where she pressed her face against his neck, and she smiles as she reaches up to wipe it away.

“We’re going to have to go inside, soon.” Bellamy murmurs, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. Clarke nods.

“I think I need to try and clean myself up before I go back inside.”

“I’ll go get some napkins from the bathroom.” He kisses the top of her head. “I’ll be back in a second.” Clarke nods again, giving him a small smile.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Princess.” He gives her a boyish grin and the smile on Clarke’s face gets a little bigger.

Once Bellamy disappears into the house, Clarke decides to see if she can use Bellamy’s phone to see how badly her mascara and eyeliner is messed up. She searches his outer pockets and doesn’t find anything but when she feels the inside pocket, she finds a piece of paper. _Weird_. She takes it out, expecting it to just be a receipt or something, but when she opens it, it’s something that makes her breath catch in her throat. It’s a poem. Bellamy Blake had written her a poem. It reminds her of the poem she had put on a picture she had drawn of him and she finds herself wondering if he had seen it somehow.

_ Let me… _

_Let me count the ways in which I love you_  
Let me count the ways in which you shine  
Let me count the ways in which I adore you  
Let me count the ways in that I love you’re mine

 _Your brightness_  
Your eyes  
Your intelligence  
Your laugh

_You are as smart as you are beautiful  
You are as kind as you are stubborn_

_You came into my life a hurricane of blonde hair, blue eyes, and quick words  
And I haven’t been the same since_

_My girl, my baby, my princess,  
Mine_

_Merry Christmas to the love of my life,  
You_

_Yours,  
Bellamy_

She’s vaguely aware of the tears forming in her eyes, but she doesn’t care about her makeup anymore. The guy she loves wrote her a poem telling her he loves her, and it’s obviously meant to be part of her Christmas present.

“Clarke!” She turns around at his voice and he slows when he sees that she’s been crying again. “What—” his eyes drift towards the paper in her hands and a sheepish smile spreads across his face as he brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I, um, I was going to surprise you.”

Clarke’s heels sound against the pavement as she moves to meet Bellamy. When they meet, she throws her arms around his neck and crashes her lips to his. She had been feeling lost and like her heart was going to break at the thought of her dad, but anytime she feels like nothing can go right Bellamy is always there to show her the way. One of his hands snakes around her waist and the other threads itself in her hair, holding her head. His mouth is warm against hers and it’s like he can heat up her body even in the freezing weather. She knows that if they don’t go inside soon then her mother will probably send someone to come look for them, and that what’s left of her lipstick is probably getting all over both, but she doesn’t care.

When they finally break apart, they’re both panting, and Bellamy’s pupils are blown. He keeps one hand around her waist while he pulls a black velvet box out of his pocket. “It’s not an engagement ring. Not yet.” Still, Clarke’s heart rate picks up and she feels like it’s going to explode out of her chest. “I wanted to wait until after the dinner. To be honest, I almost pulled it out as soon as you stepped into my room earlier.” Bellamy let’s out a shaky chuckle and he brings his eyes up to meet hers. His brown eyes glow in the soft light of the patio and Clarke swears she’s never seen anything more mesmerizing. “I was going to recite the poem to you, I know, that’s cheesy,” He grins that boyish grin that makes him look like a carefree teenager and Clarke let’s out a wet laugh. “But since you've read it, I’m just going to wing this. I’m not sure how you do something like this, it’s not a proposal,” he says, getting down on one knee and taking her left hand, “but a promise. I love you, more than I ever thought myself capable of loving someone else, and I love how you challenge me, and show me a different way of thinking, of living. Clarke, you are the other part of me, and I want to experience everything with you by my side. So with this ring,” he opens the velvet box and inside is a silver crown ring with blue sapphires littered throughout it, “with this ring I promise to one day replace it with a  _real_  ring, one that will make you my better half both figuratively and literally. Will you take this ring and give me the chance to one day do this again, and one day make you my queen?” 

Clarke can’t help but laugh at the last line, but she nods her head and whispers, “yes.” Bellamy’s grin widened as he takes the ring out of the box and slips it onto her gloved finger. Clarke doesn’t wait for him to stand before she gives him another kiss, but this time it’s softer and she hopes it pours all the love and emotion she’s feeling into it. When they pull apart, Bellamy let’s out a low whistle.

“I better top that speech when I actually ask you to marry me.” Clarke giggles and they kiss again. “I love you, Clarke.”

Clarke smiles up at the man before her. “I love you too, Bellamy.” They kiss one last time, but this time it’s short and sweet and it makes Clarke’s heart flutter even harder. She can feel Bellamy shiver beneath her hands and realizes that it’s probably time they head inside. “Come on, Romeo, I think we need to head inside.” 

“As you wish, Princess.” Bellamy winks and brings their intertwined hands up to kiss the back of hers. 

\---

When Bellamy and Clarke walk into the dining room, Bellamy feels like he’s walking on cloud nine and he’s pretty sure he’s not going to come down anytime soon. Thankfully, everyone inside the dining room is either focused on their food or talking so they don’t pay the two of them any attention. Bellamy pulls out Clarke’s chair and when she looks up at him, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t seen her smile _that_ big in a while. His heart is still pounding when he takes his own seat, and when Octavia catches his own eye she winks.

Dante Wallace stands and clinks his wine glass, gathering everyone’s attention towards him. “Now that all of our guests have joined us,” he says, giving Clarke and Bellamy an admonishing look, “I would like to make a toast to my honored guests, the Griffins.” Bellamy can feel Clarke tense beside him, and he reaches under the table and grabs her hand, running his thumb over the ring he had just placed on it. “Dr. Abigail Griffin, Clarke Griffin, for years our families have had a wonderful long-standing relationship, and, on this day, I hope that there are many more years to come. Merry Christmas, I only wish your husband could have been here with us,” Dante raises his glass towards Abby before turning towards the rest of the table. “Merry Christmas to all. Now, please, eat.”

Clarke’s hand tightens on Bellamy’s and he chances a glance at Abby who seems to be trying her best to not say anything. Her back is straight as a board, her jaw is clenching, and the look she has in her eyes makes Bellamy believe that she’s wishing she could turn Dante into a small pile of ash. Bellamy wishes he could too. Jaha leans over to whisper something to Abby and she gives him a tight smile. A few more people lean over to say something to Abby and she just nods her head and says something that Bellamy can only decipher as “thank you”. Looking over at his little sister, Bellamy finds that Octavia looks about as angry as he feels and while he’s pretty sure Lincoln isn’t happy either, he’s better at hiding it.

For the rest of the dinner, Bellamy’s hand never leaves Clarke’s. They both push around the food on their plates without ever actually eating any of it, and Bellamy silently thanks Kane for bringing food by earlier. They all must sit through another two courses, and Clarke barely eats until they get to dessert and then her love for chocolate takes over when they place a dark chocolate ganache tart in front of her.

When the dinner _finally_ ends and everyone is dismissed from the dining hall, Clarke tightens her grip on Bellamy’s hand, and she pulls them towards the front door. Though, he has to slow her down, so they don’t draw a huge crowd of lookers. Octavia appears beside them as they’re waiting for their jackets.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Dante said something about her dad earlier and that’s why she left.” Bellamy whispers, trying not to let anyone else overhear. “It’s so fucked up.” Bellamy runs his fingers through his hair and looks over at Clarke. Her free hand is fluttering at her side and he wonders if she’s wanting to punch something. He would.

“Clarke!” Abby’s voice echoes in the foyer and a few people turn to look but she gives a polite smile while still half-sprinting towards her daughter with Jaha trailing behind her. When she reaches them, she grabs Clarke’s face and looks at her. “Oh, my darling, are you okay?”

“As fine as I can be, mom.” Clarke releases Bellamy’s hand and grabs her mother’s. “Can we leave now?”

“I think we’ll be needed here for a little longer, but you two can head home.” Jaha reaches into his pocket and pulls out the keys to the Audi and the valet ticket, and hands them to Bellamy. “You’ll take care of her?” For a second Bellamy thinks that Jaha is talking about the car, but looking at him, he knows he means Clarke.

“Always.” Bellamy turns to Abby. “I promise.”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you both tomorrow.” Abby leans forward and gives Clarke a kiss on her forehead. When they pull apart, Abby squeezes Clarke’s hand and Bellamy can see when Abby notices the ring on her daughter’s finger. “ _Clarke._ ” Abby looks between her daughter and Bellamy.

“It’s a promise.” Clarke says, smiling up at him.

“A promise ring.” Bellamy smiles down at her before turning to face her mom. “I’ll take care of her.”

“I know you will, Bellamy.” Abby pats the side of Bellamy’s face before pulling him into a hug and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Take my daughter home.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Bellamy grabs Clarke’s hand once more before leaning over and giving his sister a hug bye. After saying their goodbyes, he thinks that they’re free as they make their way down the front steps and hand the valet the ticket. He should’ve known it wasn’t going to be that easy. Clarke is practically vibrating next to him, waiting for the car to arrive, when a voice he never wants to hear again for the rest of his life comes from behind them.

“Clarke, Bellamy, I’m glad I was able to catch you.” Dante walks down the steps and comes to a stop on the last one. “I would like to thank the two of you for coming.”

“Save it, Dante.” Clarke practically spits at the old man and Bellamy doesn’t even try to hide the smirk on his face. “We came here, we played nice, we had a dance, and now I want you to keep your end of the deal. You said we would never have to hear from you after the fact and I don’t want you having anymore claim over my family.”

Dante looks at Clarke for a minute, anger flashing in his eyes, and Bellamy is certain he’s about to _do_ or _say_ something that would cause all hell to break loose, but he takes a deep breath and sighs. “Clarke, you should know by now that I am a man of my word. From now on, I will not ask anything of you or your family except that we continue to keep an image up in front of everyone else.”

“If that’s going to be the case, then you will _never_ use my father as a point of sympathy ever again. You made his life hell and that lead to making my family’s life hell. If you ever speak my father’s name—”

“ _Clarke._ ” Their car pulls up and Bellamy tightens his grip on her hand. They’ve gotten through the dinner and they’re almost home free; he doesn’t want her to say something that will ultimately leave them in a worse situation. “We should go, we have our family waiting for us.” Clarke peels her eyes away from Dante and looks up at him. He watches as her eyes soften before turning back to Dante.

“Dante, thank you for inviting us tonight. I would say it’s been a pleasure but then I’d be lying.” Clarke holds out her hand and the other man smirks before shaking it.

“Miss Griffin, always a pleasure.” Dante turns to Bellamy and holds his out for him to shake. “As for you, Mr. Blake, let’s hope we never have to see each other again.”

“Couldn’t agree more, Mr. Wallace. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to both of you as well. Drive safe.”

Dante turns and walks back up the stairs towards the house and Bellamy guides Clarke to the car, opening her door for her. When they’re both situated in the car, Bellamy practically peels out of the driveway on their way home. Neither of them say anything, but Bellamy keeps one hand resting on Clarke’s knee with her hand resting on top of his hand. This night has been full of ups and downs but the girl sitting next to him accepted his promise ring so despite the unpleasantness they’ve both experienced, he still feels like he’s floating.

\---

As soon as they pull into the driveway at home, Clarke doesn’t wait for Bellamy to open her door and she can hear him jogging behind her to catch up. When they enter the house, Clarke is immediately attacked by her roommates asking her if she was okay and how the rest of the dinner went.

“Bellamy texted us and told us what Dante had said.” Raven says once Clarke can finally decipher what’s being said.

“He’s a bastard, Clarke, don’t let him get to you.”

“It’s fine, guys, really, I just—” Clarke sighs and runs her hands through her hair. “I want to relax and have a nice Christmas Eve with my family.” She kicks off her heels and sighs in relief, loving that she’s shorter than Bellamy again. When she goes to take off her gloves, she notices the ring on her left hand, and she smiles. Despite everything that’s happened to her tonight, nothing can take away the happiness she has when looking at the crown on her finger.

“Clarke.” Raven stares down at her finger and Clarke laughs at her expression.

“It’s a promise ring, Raven, not an engagement ring.”

“Well, it’s still cause for celebration!” Murphy calls from the living room and Clarke smiles at her friend.

“And I have someone I’d like you to meet!” Jasper jumps next to Clarke with a small brunette following him. “Clarke, this is my girlfriend Maya, Maya, this is Clarke.” The other girl pulls Clarke in for a hug and Clarke lets out a startled laugh.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Clarke.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Maya, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Same here.” When they pull apart, Maya smiles and there’s something about it that makes the stress lift from Clarke’s shoulders. “Let’s celebrate your promise.”

“We have to celebrate.” Harper shows up on her other side and before Clarke knows it, her and Bellamy are being ushered towards the kitchen.

_Maybe Clarke will get to spend Christmas Eve how she wants after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter kind of took on a life of it's own and it's really long, but I'm glad that the whole Dante Wallace thing is put to rest. We still have one more chapter left and the epilogue, so I hope you stay tuned :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Dinner at Kane's :)

When Clarke wakes up on Christmas day, it’s to the sound of Jasper and Monty jumping on the air mattress they had blown up the night before. By the time they all decided to go to bed, multiple mattresses had been brought down from upstairs, the air mattress had been put out, and the furniture had been moved to accommodate everyone in the living room. Once Lincoln and Octavia had shown up, everyone had settled in to binge all of the Home Alone movies and then they all fell asleep, kind of puppy-piled throughout the room.

“Wake up! It’s Christmas!” Jasper’s voice startles everyone else awake and Octavia throws a pillow at him.

“I don’t think I’ve seen anyone this excited about Christmas in a while.” Clarke grumbles and beside her Harper gasps.

“You mean to tell me your family never got excited on Christmas? Not even you?”

“We used to, but I guess I kind of lost that as I got older.”

“Well, what about now?” Bellamy’s arm goes around her waist as he props himself up on the other.

“Now, I think I’ve gotten it back.” Clarke smiles up at him and brings her hand up to play in his curls, the weight of her ring reminding her about the best part of the night before.

“Presents! Presents!” Jasper jumps off the air mattress and heads towards the Christmas tree, grabbing presents and handing them out. “Wick! Raven! Emori! Lincoln!”

Everyone sits up and takes their presents as Jasper, Maya, and Monty hand them out. Clarke watches as everyone opens their presents, and Clarke loves the new art supplies she’s been given. She was nervous about how everyone would react to the drawings she’d done for them, but they loved them. She had even woken up early to do drawings of Emori and Maya before anyone woke up. When it came time to open Abby’s presents, Clarke was surprised that her mother had actually gotten presents that everyone liked, but Bellamy had helped her. Clarke’s not expecting anything else from Bellamy since she can tell that the ring he bought her was more than their twenty-dollar limit, so when he gives her another present, her mind goes into overdrive.

“What is it?”

“Now, Princess, that would spoil the surprise, wouldn’t it?” He smirks then motions towards the wrapped package. “Open it.”

Clarke peels the paper away and she finds that it’s a book, a photo album to be more exact. When she opens it, it’s the first picture her and Bellamy had ever taken together in the outside area of the Secret Garden with the caption “ _Our life in pictures”_. When she turns the page, there’s pictures of her during the first party they’d had once she’d arrived and it’s of her and Bellamy facing off during beer pong, then there’s the truce dinner that Murphy had talked her into, and as she goes she can see the evolution of her and Bellamy’s relationship. How they go from just looking at each other, to getting closer, and closer, until there’s no doubt that they’re together. There’s the costume party, some of them at Minerva’s Books, them on the couch, them laughing, dancing, even a few of them glaring at each other. Then there’s all of the pictures from their trip to D.C. and Clarke wonders how she never realized this many pictures were being taken.

“You all helped with this?” She turns towards everyone in the room and they’ve all got the biggest grins on their faces.

“Bellamy asked us for help, so who were we to say no?” Monty shrugs.

“You guys.” Clarke can feel tears prick the corners of her eyes but Bellamy is there to wipe them away. “This is the best present anyone has ever got me.” She sniffles then looks down at the promise ring on her finger, “Well, almost the best present.”

“So does this mean you like it?” Bellamy looks nervous as he asks it, but it only makes Clarke’s heart flutter.

“I love it.” Clarke leans over and gives Bellamy a kiss.

“Ugh, get a room.” Murphy groans Bellamy throws a pillow at him.

“Don’t watch.”

“Asshole.”

“Dick.”

“Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.” Raven smirks from the couch and holds up her mug of eggnog.

“Merry Christmas!” Everyone shouts in unison and Clarke realizes that for the first time in a while, she’s actually looking forward to Christmas dinner today.

\---

Since Jasper had woken them up earlier than any of them intended, that means that they all have enough time to get ready and make use of the one bathroom in the house that has a shower and tub. Bellamy and Clarke had taken the bathroom first so now he’s in his room getting dressed while Clarke gets ready in her room. He finishes trying to brush his hair then he slips into Clarke’s room as she’s finishing up her makeup. Even though she had looked beautiful last night all dressed up, he loves how she looks in just jeans and a sweater. She notices him in the mirror and she smiles.

“If you didn’t look so cute, I would think it’s kind of creepy to just stare at somebody.”

“You think I’m cute?” Bellamy grins and he watches as she giggles and shakes her head.

“You know you’re cute, and those ladies last night seemed to think so too.”

“Oh, god, don’t remind me.” Bellamy rolls his eyes before making his way further into her room. “You look, beautiful.”

“Even without my dress and gloves?” Clarke quirks and eyebrow and Bellamy rubs his thumb across her cheekbone.

“You could wear a trash bag and I’d still think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“Mmm…I may have to test that out one day.”

“As long as you let me take it off you, be my guest.” Clarke giggles and Bellamy leans down to kiss her neck, making her giggle even more. When he opens his eyes, he can’t help but notice a present on Clarke’s desk. “What’s that?”

“Oh,” Clarke smirks before turning and picking up the silver present. “Merry Christmas.”

“But you already gave me the cufflinks.”

“Those aren’t real presents, Bellamy.”

The present feels like a book and Bellamy wonders if Clarke had had the same idea in mind for him. “What is it?”

“Babe, if I told you that would spoil the surprise.” Bellamy grins at Clarke using his words then starts to tear into the paper. Underneath the silver wrapping, there’s a photo album, but there isn’t any photographs on the inside, there’s sketches. Drawings upon drawings of Bellamy, places around Arkadia, Bellamy with everyone else, and then the pictures he recognizes from the first night he returned home. At the very end, there’s the picture he saw on the plane of him sleeping with the poem in the corner. “I have a feeling you’ve seen this one before, though.” _Damn, caught._

“Yeah, I—uh, I may have peeked on the plane.”

“Peeked, huh?” Clarke smirks then wraps an arm around his neck.

“A little.”

“ _A little_ ,” she giggles and he leans forward, kissing her forehead. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, Clarke.”

“You do?” Clarke’s wide eyes and slight smile makes his heart flip.

“Of course.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to her lips. She’s the one who deepens it and Bellamy groans against her lips. He walks her back towards the bed and they fall onto it, Clarke giggles and Bellamy takes enough time to place the picture album onto the nightstand.

Bellamy moves his hands under the hem of Clarke’s sweater and she moans, tugging at his curls. He begins pushing her sweater up when someone pounds on the door, breaking their moment.

“Time to go!” Murphy yells from the other side of the door and Bellamy groans.

“Go away, Murphy!”

“Get off your girlfriend and get your ass downstairs, Blake!” Murphy bangs on the door one last time before Bellamy hears his footsteps retreat down the hall.

“He has such bad timing.” Bellamy groans and rests his head on Clarke’s shoulder.

“You have no idea.” Clarke giggles and despite the fact that Murphy had just ruined what was about to happen, Bellamy laughs.

“I guess we should go face the crowd.” Bellamy gives Clarke one last kiss before pushing himself up and then helping her off the bed. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas, my love.” Clarke smiles then steps onto her tip toes and gives him a kiss on the cheek before taking his hand and leading him out the door and down the hall.

\---

Kane’s house looks how it did on Thanksgiving and when they all walk through the front door they’re immediately met with the smell of everything that’s being cooked. Kane’s mother, Vera, meets then all before Kane can even realize that they’re there and everyone says hi while giving the older lady a hug.

“Oh, it’s wonderful to see you all again.” Vera smiles before turning to Clarke. “Honey, your mom and her boyfriend are already here, and, Raven, Sinclair is outside gathering some firewood but he’ll be in in a minute.”

They all follow Vera into the kitchen, Harper and Emori both carrying plates of cookies and brownies that they had cooked the night before. Kane is pulling a dish out of the oven and Abby is sitting at the counter while Jaha gathers some plates from the cabinets.

“Oh, Clarke!” Abby notices when they enter the room and she shoots up, grabbing Clarke in a hug. “Merry Christmas, honey.” Abby smiles before turning towards everyone else. “Merry Christmas to all of you.”

“Merry Christmas, Abby, Jaha.”

“Merry Christmas, Jaha, Ms. Griffin.”

“Oh, mom, there’s some people you need to meet.” Clarke motions towards Maya and Emori and Jasper smiles.

“Abby, this is my girlfriend Maya.”

“And this is my girlfriend Emori.”

“It’s nice to meet the two of you.” Abby smiles and Kane turns his attention towards all of them.

“Ah, my Delinquent army!” Kane bellows and everyone grins, but Clarke can see that her mother isn’t exactly happy with that.

“Merry Christmas, Kane.” Bellamy steps forward and he and Kane do one of those guy-hugs where they pat each other on the back really hard.

“Merry Christmas, son.” Kane grins at Bellamy before turning towards Octavia. “Merry Christmas, little one.”

“I’m not little anymore, Kane.” Octavia rolls her eyes but smiles as she gives her adoptive-father a hug.

“Eh, I beg to differ.” Kane teases as he pulls apart. Kane takes his time and gives everyone a hug, even Murphy who isn’t that much of a hugger, before motioning towards the plates that Jaha had gotten and placed on the counter. “Would you all help set the table, please?”

Everyone gets to work setting the table, and all around Clarke, random conversations and laughter filled the room. Murphy and Emori are debating what the best drinks to have on Christmas are with Raven and Wick, Monty and Jasper are trying to decide which one of their new games is going to be played first, Octavia, Harper, and Maya are all laughing at something Octavia had said and when Octavia looks over at Clarke she grins.

“I told them about our scandalous dance last night.”

“Oh, that was amazing.” Clarke breaks out into a fit of laughter too. “Everyone was so _shocked_ , I swear, when Bellamy and Lincoln asked us to dance next it was like everyone let out a sigh of relief.”

“It must’ve been hard, having to deal with that growing up.” Maya says as she finishes straightening the silverware in front of her. “I couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like having people judge you so harshly.”

“Yeah, well, after a while you just learn to block it all out.” Clarke shrugs and she can feel her mother looking at her. “It wasn’t so bad with a friend like Wells.” Clarke smiles at the memories of him standing up for her when they were in high school. Even though she’s said goodbye to him now, and the right way this time, it still doesn’t help the fact that this is her first Christmas without him.

“Clarke, can you help me in the kitchen, please?” Abby nods towards the door and Clarke nods, following her mother out into the hallway. Abby keeps going and passes the kitchen, pulling Clarke into what looks like a sun room.

“Mom? Everything okay?” Clarke studies her mom carefully. They hadn’t had much time to talk the night before since Clarke needed to get out of there, but Clarke knows her mother hadn’t like Dante’s comment anymore than she had. She could see it in the way her mother held herself.

“I talked to Dante last night, as we were leaving, and he said that we’re free, Clarke.” Clarke could see tears well in her mother’s eyes.

“I talked to him too, and he said that we’d have to keep up the appearance for any other events he might have, but other than that, we’re done.”

“Exactly. But I think you won’t be attending anymore of those events.” Abby rests her hands on Clarke’s shoulders. “In the end, it’s not _ideal_ , but it’s more than I could have ever asked for.” Clarke can feel tears prick her eyes too and her mother pulls her in for a hug. “You’ve had to deal with so much, but you’re so strong and I am so proud of you for everything you’ve done and who you’ve become.” Clarke lets her tears fall freely as she holds onto her mom. “I am so proud of you, and your father would be proud of you, too.”

Clarke sniffles and pulls away. “Would he?”

“Oh, honey,” Abby reaches up and wipes the tears from Clarke’s cheeks. “Your father would love the woman you’ve become. Every day I see more of him in you and it makes me so happy.” Abby smiles and Clarke lets out a wet laugh. “Which reminds me, I have something for you.” Abby reaches into her cardigan pocket and pulls out a small white box with a blue bow. “I know I already gave you the olive branch earrings to match your necklace, but I knew I needed to get this for you, too.”

Clarke takes the box from her mom, her hands shaking from her mother’s confession. She slides the bow off the box and when she opens it, it’s a silver necklace with a heart attached to it. A locket. When she opens it, a sob escapes from her lips. On the left side, there’s a picture of her father smiling at her and on the right, there’s Wells.

“They say that the ones we love never truly leave us, and I thought that you would like to always have them with you.”

“Mom, I love it.” More tears slips down Clarke’s face as she throws her arms around her mother and gives her another hug. After everything that’s happened between the two of them, she knows her mother is trying to make things better between the two of them.

“Would you like me to put it on you?” Abby asks once they pull apart and Clarke nods her head, handing off the necklace.

\---

When Clarke and Abby enter the dining room again, Kane and Jaha are still bringing in the food. Bellamy notices that Clarke’s face is a little puffy, as if she’s been crying, but she’s smiling. She takes the seat next to him and he leans towards her, moving some hair out of her face and she turns to look at him. His eyes drift down to the new necklace and he realizes it’s a silver, heart-shaped locket. She smiles as she opens it and shows him what’s inside it. Her father and her best friend. A tear slips down her cheek and Bellamy wipes it away with his thumb, kissing her cheek after he does so.

“Now, they’ll be with you wherever you go.” He rubs circles on her shoulder and she holds up her left hand with the crown ring.

“And so will you.”

“Babe, I’ll be there no matter what.” He smirks and she giggles. He gives her a chaste kiss before they can be called out then he straightens in his chair, with Clarke’s hand resting in his.

Their dinner goes really well considering how many people are there and the fact that Clarke had hated one of those people two weeks ago, but today she’s smiling, and she’s happy, and she’s laughing, even though she seems to be a little more emotional than usual. The last forty-eight hours has been an emotional roller coaster for both of them, but her more than anyone. Bellamy feels himself smiling a little more than usual, and it’s because of the happiness that’s radiating off Clarke in waves.

After they all finish, Vera ropes a few of them into helping put the dishes away and Kane grabs everyone else to help make the living room cozier so they get ready for more Christmas movies and s’mores. It’s a little too cold for them all to go outside, but when you have a fully functioning fireplace in your house, luckily you don’t need to. Bellamy helps Kane get the s’mores stuff ready but before Bellamy can walk into the living room, Kane puts a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder to stop him. 

“I promised myself I wouldn’t be nosey, but is that an engagement ring?” Kane asks, pointing towards Clarke whose talking with her hands and the crown ring is glittering in the lights. Bellamy smiles. 

“It’s a promise ring.” 

“So she’s the one?” Kane’s eyes are bright.

“Yeah, yeah she is.” Bellamy’s smile widens as he remembers her reaction from the night before. 

“Good.” Kane clasps him on the shoulder and smiles. “You better not keep her waiting.”

\--- 

Once everyone is situated around the living room and Bellamy and Kane appear with the s’mores ingredients, Clarke pulls Bellamy down beside her before moving to sit in his lap. Bellamy laughs and leans against the side of the armchair, wrapping his arms around her waist. Everyone else is sitting close together too, but they’re all kind of packed in close around the fire while they all try and get their marshmallows onto their holders. Emori had disappeared after putting away the dishes but she returned carrying three fifths of rum and a gallon of eggnog.

”Here’s my last minute Christmas presents.” She gives everyone a lopsided grin as she sits down between Murphy’s legs. “I didn’t have much time to plan.”

“Hey, well take this any day.” Wick smiles at her and her grin widens.

“Awesome.”

Someone grabs some cups from the kitchen and before long everyone had a mixed drink of rum and eggnog, and a steady stream of s’mores getting made. Clarke looks over at her mom whose settled in next to Jaha and they’re both talking with Kane, Sinclair, and Kane’s mother. Vera seems to notice Clarke looking and she gives her a wink before looking over at Bellamy. _Maybe she noticed the ring too_. 

They spend the next few hours getting full on chocolate and marshmallows and basically just spending their Christmas Day the same way they had spent their Christmas Eve, but this time Clarke is getting to enjoy it with her mom. At some point some music gets put on and Sinclair pulls Raven up for a dance, then Harper says she wants a dance with Octavia, and Bellamy asks Vera, then somehow Clarke finds herself dancing with Kane. 

“Have you enjoyed today, Clarke?” Kane asks as he spins her around.

“I really have, thanks for inviting me.” 

“You’re family now.” He smiles and motions to her left hand that’s sitting on his shoulder. “And what I get from that is that you’ll _legally_ be family at some point. Hopefully soon.”

“Are Bellamy and Octavia legally your kids?” That’s something Clarke had never been told, or even thought about. 

“Octavia was, well, I was her legal guardian because they wouldn’t allow Bellamy to be. But,” he says, shrugging, “even if they’re not legally mine, it doesn’t change anything.” Clarke smiles.

“No, it doesn’t.” They both turn to look when they hear Bellamy laugh at something Vera had said. 

“You make him happy. Happier than I ever thought he could be.”

“He makes me happy.”

“No one could ever doubt that.” Kane smiles and spins her again and Clarke laughs. _No, they couldn’t_. 

“Can I cut in?” Murphy appears at Clarke’s side as soon as the song ends and Clarke looks at him.

“You want to dance?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Griffin.” Murphy gives her a twirl and she grins. 

“John Murphy likes to dance.”

“Don’t make me regret this.” Murphy groans and Clarke laughs. 

“I feel like this has an ulterior motive.”

“You know me so well.”

“So what is it?”

“It’s about this ring on your finger.” Murphy takes her left hand and twirls her.

“Oh, come on, Murphy, you’re not going to choose _now_ to profess you’re undying love for me, are you? It would make things very awkward with Emori.” Clarke teases and Murphy snorts.

“You’d be lucky to have me, Griffin,” Murphy smirks, “but I just want to make sure you’re happy. I need to know that my life isn’t going to be upset by something again.” The way he talks, one would believe that Murphy doesn’t really care about anything outside of himself, but Clarke knows that he cares about his friends, he loves his friends. She knows that what happened a couple of weeks ago was really hard on him, even if he didn’t outright admit it.

“You have nothing to worry about, Murphy, I promise.” Clarke smiles reassuringly at her friend.

“Well, alright then.” Murphy smiles too, then looks at something over Clarke’s shoulders and then twirls her again, but this time he lets her go and she spins into a hard chest.

“If this is your way of asking me to dance, it’s kind of forceful, isn’t it?” Bellamy turns her around and smirks.

“Well it’s one way to get your attention.” Clarke purrs as she wraps her arms around Bellamy’s neck and he smirks as he puts his hands on her waist.

“Should I be worried about Murphy stealing a dance?” Bellamy teases.

“He’s just looking out for us.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows shoot towards his hairline. “So, John Murphy really has a heart?”

“I think he does.”

Bellamy grins then dips Clarke. “But your heart is mine?”

“Yours.”

“And my heart is yours.” Bellamy’s smile softens and leans down to kiss her.

Clarke is pretty sure her heart will still flutter even a year from now, two years from now, the way Bellamy Blake makes her feel like she’s alive again. When she first moved to Arkadia, she was looking for a fresh start, she didn’t know if it would work out, she didn’t know she would find a new family, and she definitely didn’t expect to fall in love with the guy she butted heads with constantly. Bellamy was insufferable and infuriating and in the beginning she would have called someone crazy if they had told her she would be here right now. Of course, she knew Bellamy was attractive from the moment she met him, but even someone like him can’t use their attractiveness to make up for how rude he had been.

She realized that Bellamy was just trying to protect his family, and at the time she wasn’t a part of that but, being in his arms now, she knows that that’s changed. Now, he doesn’t glare at her or go out of his way to get under her skin, no, he teases her and makes her smile and she believes that a little banter is good for everyone. There’s no one in this life that Clarke would rather spend her time with. She knows he’s not perfect, no one is, and neither is she, but with his black curls, brown eyes, and golden skin, he comes pretty damn close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue will be posted tomorrow because I can’t wait for it :) 
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x


	45. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has two time jumps, the first one and then another that is a year after the first time :)

**_One and a half years later…_ **

Clarke wakes up to light pouring in through the bedroom curtains and a smile makes it’s way across her face. _Graduation Day_. She rolls over, expecting to see Bellamy still asleep beside her but he’s not there, though she does hear a lot of commotion in the house. She kicks the covers back and pulls on a pair of Bellamy’s sweatpants before making her way into the hallway. She can hear the faint sound of music coming from downstairs and her friends laughing. She smiles before slipping into the bathroom.

When she makes her way into the kitchen, Bellamy is there setting up a tray of food with a little vase of flowers on it. He steps back after placing the utensils on it, looking very pleased with himself, and Clarke takes the time to look at him. His black curls are messy, there’s flour on his shirt, and he looks like he’s practically vibrating with excitement. He looks up and notices her lingering by the doorway to the hall and he grins before running towards her and picking her up.

“My girl is graduating today!” He gushes and Clarke giggles.

“So are we!” Monty calls from the living room.

“I already told you how proud I was!”

“Did you make them a breakfast tray too?” Clarke arches and eyebrow and Bellamy gives her a lopsided grin.

“I made them breakfast but you’re the only one I’d do this for.” He’s still holding her up so Clarke has to be the one to lean down and kiss him.

“Were you trying to surprise me with breakfast in bed?”

“I was, but you’ve ruined it.”

“I can go upstairs and pretend to be surprised.”

“How about we just go upstairs?” He has a wicked glint in his eyes and it makes Clarke’s body heat up.

“Can I eat first?”

“It’s your day, Princess.” Bellamy sets her down and gives her a kiss on the cheek before taking her hand and grabbing the tray of food. _What a great way to start the day_.

\---

After finishing breakfast, and then working that breakfast off, Clarke shoos Bellamy out of the bathroom because she knows that if they shower together then there’s absolutely no way they would be ready in time for her to get to campus. Octavia and Harper show up as soon as she gets out and they all immediately crowd into Raven’s room to start getting ready. Today, Clarke is graduating with all of her friends with the rest of her family all cheering them on from the bleachers.

“You are stunning!” Octavia smiles as she backs up, looking at Clarke’s makeup that she just finished.

“All because of you, babe.”

“Nonsense, you have natural beauty, we just enhance it.” Raven smirks at her in the mirror.

They were all wearing white for the day with Raven wearing a jumpsuit, Octavia wearing a form-fitting dress, and Clarke and Harper wearing more flowy dresses. Raven and Clarke opted for waved hair while Octavia and Harper straightened theirs, and they all kept their makeup relatively natural. Looking at all four of them in mirror, Clarke is pretty sure that they’re going to make the boys downstairs lose their ability to think.

Once they determine that they’re ready to go, Raven and Clarke link their arms together and make their way down the stairs with their arms linked together while Octavia and Harper do the same. In the living room, Wick and Bellamy are talking about something with Bellamy’s back turned towards the stairs, but when they reach the bottom stairs Wick’s gaze moves towards Raven and he quits talking. Bellamy turns and his eyes immediately find Clarke’s.

Wick wastes no time moving towards Raven and Clarke squeezes herself past him just as Lincoln, Monty, and Jasper come down the hallway. Clarke had been right, none of the boys talked, except Jasper who kept talking about how they made him look like a hobo in his suit. Even after more than a year, all of their boyfriends still look at them as if they’re the ones who hung the sun. _That’s what everyone wants, isn’t it?_ They spend the next few minutes talking before grabbing their gowns and heading towards campus.

Once they all make their way to their seats and the ceremony starts, the group chat never stops exploding with messages. Octavia is close to the front so she doesn’t have to wait long for her name to be called, and Clarke is pretty sure she can hear Bellamy screaming over everyone. Clarke is vaguely aware of her line standing up and her name getting called as she walks towards the stage. She does the same thing she did when she graduated from high school, telling herself to focus on placing one foot in front of the other and taking care to watch the steps. She smiles foe the picture and when she makes it to the other side, she can see everyone at the railing and Bellamy blows her a kiss.

The rest of the ceremony goes by in a haze but she always cheers when her friends get called and before long they’re throwing their caps in the air and her and her friends find each other and make their way out of the building to try and find their family. Abby spots them first and makes a line for Clarke, Sinclair beats Wick and crushes Raven in a hug bear hug, Bellamy reaches Octavia before Kane and he picks his little sister up and swings her around, and Maya crashes into Jasper. There’s total chaos as everyone takes time to hug each other and give their congratulations, but somehow the adults round everyone up and they all make their way back to Kane’s house.

There’s balloons on the mailbox and when they walk into the house, there’s streamers everywhere and even more balloons scattered all across the floor. Murphy and Emori begin making drinks and surprisingly, Abby joins in on it and, from what Raven’s told her, her mother can make a very good mojito. Kane puts on music and leaves it to Wick to DJ, while Raven and Monty look for bigger speakers, and Miller and Bellamy put together a beer pong table outside. In all aspects this is just like another one of their parties, but they’re not actually having one of those until tomorrow since today is meant to be just for family.

Kane and Sinclair start up the barbecue pit and before long there’s a line of food waiting to be cooked while a line of cooked food goes inside. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, and Abby has already pulled Clarke in for a dance like they used to do when Clarke was _really_ little. Jaha even asked her to dance, which wouldn’t have been a good idea a while back but now they’re in a better place. She’s still not happy with how he and her mother came to be together, but he’s still the man she grew up around. Then, of course, there’s Bellamy. He’s been splitting his attention between Clarke and Octavia and Octavia keeps reminding him that she still has law school to get through, but that only makes him smile wider.

Everyone seems to lose track of time and before long, Harper and Octavia are lighting the tiki torches around the backyard and the string of lights has been lit so they don’t have to worry about turning on the porch light. Clarke is warm because of the summer air outside but when Bellamy wraps his arms around her waist and nuzzles her hair, goosebumps rise on her skin. Even after nearly two years he still makes her body hum with electricity.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He whispers, his breath hot against her ear.

“I was just thinking about the future.” She murmurs, and he starts to sway with her to the song that’s been put on.

“Anything in particular?” He spins her around, resting his hands on her waist as she wraps her arms around his neck and plays with his soft curls.

“Not really, though I wonder where I’m going to work.” Clarke pulls Bellamy closer and rests her head on his shoulder

“Anywhere spring to mind?”

“I’m not sure, I didn’t have a job in mind when I decided to only major in art.”

“Maybe I can help.” Bellamy pulls away and gives her a lopsided grin. “I talked to Lincoln, and he said that he and Nyko have been looking into expanding their gallery to accommodate artists other than photographers.”

“Really?”

“Yep, and he said he’d like the first one to be you.” Clarke’s heart flips and she can’t help the goofy grin she’s sure is plastered on her face. Lincoln had opened his own gallery about six months ago and it’s been booming ever since. Everyone loves Lincoln’s pictures and his gallery has taken off.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Bellamy grins and leans forward, kissing her forehead. They sway for a few more minutes with their foreheads resting against each other. “So, do you have anything else in mind for the future?” The way he asks it makes Clarke looks up at him.

“Why? Do _you_ have something in mind?” She teases and she watches as a slight blush makes its way across his golden cheeks. He’s been spending more time out in the sun lately so his freckles are darkening too. _He looks beautiful_.

“Actually, I do.” A boyish grin spreads across his face and he takes her hand, leading her further into the backyard and towards the fire that had been started but no one was around it. Bellamy looks at the fire for a minute, rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

“Bellamy?” She moves closer to him and he turns towards her, bringing his free hand up to rub his thumb across her cheekbone.

“I love you, you know that?” He says and she looks into his eyes. He looks nervous, anxious, and her heartrate picks up.

“I love you, too.” She reaches up and moves the hair off his forehead.

“Enough that you still want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Of course, Bellamy.” She looks down at her left hand that has the crown ring on it. She’s barely taken it off since he gave it to her, not even when they argue.

“Me too.” Bellamy breathes out then gets down on one knee, pulling a black box out of his pocket and inside there’s a ring she’s seen all her life. It’s the ring her father proposed to her mother with. “Clarke, almost two years ago you walked into my life and turned everything I knew upside down and I haven’t been the same since. You’ve changed me for the better, and you call me out when I’m being stubborn, and you push me to be better every single day. A year and a half ago I made you a promise that I would one day turn that promise into something more, and that’s something I’m wanting to do now. I made a big mistake back then, one I’ve had a hard time trying to forgive myself for, and if I’m being honest I still don’t believe I deserved your forgiveness, but you gave it to me and I want to spend the rest of my life making up for that one mistake. So, Clarke Eliza Griffin, will you do me the honor of marrying me and give me the chance to show you how much I love you for the rest of our lives?”

“Yes.” Clarke can feel tears streaming down her cheeks as Bellamy smiles and takes the promise ring off her finger, slipping the engagement ring on. When he stands, he places the promise ring on her right hand before crashing his lips to hers. He picks her up and spins her around, never breaking their kiss, but when he sets her down he turns towards the house.

“She said yes!” Bellamy calls and there’s a chorus of whoops and yells and before Clarke can realize what’s happening, they’re all racing towards them. She turns towards Bellamy, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.

“I have something to tell you.” She leans forward and whispers in his ear and when she leans back to look at his reaction, she swears his grin has gotten even bigger.

“Really?”

“Really.” They share one moment where it’s just the two of them and Clarke can see their life spread out in front of them right before they get tackled by their family.

 

**_One year after that…_ **

Bellamy wakes up before his alarm goes off and decides to make his way towards Clarke’s old bedroom. After he proposed to her, she  _officially_  moved into his room, saying that his bed was comfier, but her room wasn't vacant for long. When he opens the door, he can already hear cooing coming from the crib and he walks over to it, peering over the edge. Big blue eyes look up at him and his daughter smiles, gurgling.

“Hey, my princess.” Bellamy smiles before leaning down and picking her up. “Hey, Madi.” He starts to sway and Madi’s cooing picks up. He never thought he would ever find someone he would want to make a life with, but then Clarke dropped into his life and now she’s given him a daughter and, honestly, some days Bellamy expects to wake up from whatever dream he’s in because there’s no way life can be this perfect. _But it is_. “Let’s go make mama something to eat for Mother’s Day.”

Bellamy grabs a blanket off the rocker and he makes his way down to the kitchen, Madi playing in his hair as he goes. He gets Madi’s bouncer from the living room and sets it up in the kitchen so she'll be able to see him but she’s far enough away from the stove to where she won’t get anything on her. He puts on some soft music and begins singing to Madi while he works. When she smiles and laughs, Bellamy swears she looks like her mother with her blue eyes and his black hair.

\---

Clarke wakes up to an empty bed but she smiles and makes her way to Madi’s room. There’s been multiple times where she’s found Bellamy asleep in the rocker with Madi laying on his chest but still wrapped in his arms, and once she even found Bellamy sleeping in Madi’s crib with her. Talk about wanting to cry, that was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She opens the door to Madi’s room and she doesn’t see any sign of her or Bellamy, but now Clarke can smell breakfast coming from downstairs.

Clarke tip toes her way to the kitchen and leans against the doorway. Bellamy is shirtless and dancing around the kitchen while Madi gurgles from her bouncer. His stubble has grown out over the past few weeks and Clarke loves it, but whenever he smiles she swears he looks years younger. She just stands there and watches him as he works, putting together a breakfast tray. It reminds her of her graduation day. She had ruined his surprise then too. She giggles to herself and it catches his attention.

“Aw, you’re supposed to be in bed.” Bellamy pouts and Clarke giggles again. She pushes off the doorway and makes her way towards him.

“I seem to have a problem with ruining your breakfast-in-bed plans.”

“I can’t take all the credit.” Bellamy gives her a lopsided grin as he wraps an arm around her waist. “Madi helped.” Clarke looks over at her daughter whose playing with one of the toys on her bouncer. “Happy Mother’s Day, my queen.”

Clarke giggles. He started calling her his queen as soon as they got married but he’ll slip up and call her princess every now and then, though that nickname seems to be Madi’s now. Clarke said that he could have two princesses but he argued that no king would be complete without his queen, and, well, there’s disputing that. “Thank you, my king.” Bellamy leans forward and gives her a kiss.

“Do you want breakfast now, or one of your presents?”

“ _One_ of my presents?”

“Yes, _one_ of your presents.”

“I told you that breakfast would be fine! How many presents did you get me?”

“Oh, my beautiful wife, that’s for me to know and you to find out.” Bellamy grins mischievously at her and she smiles.

“You’re terrible.” Clarke giggles and Bellamy takes her hand, twirling her once before dipping her.

“But you love me anyways.”

“Of course I do.” She smiles and Bellamy closes the distance between their lips.

They spend the rest of the morning playing around in the kitchen, and eating breakfast, and playing with Madi. When they’re done, Bellamy gives her the first present which is a new locket but this one can hold ten pictures and they’re all of her friends and there’s a picture of Bellamy holding Madi, and one of her dad and another of Wells. Her mother had given her a heart locket as a Christmas present a couple of years ago with a picture of Wells and a picture of her dad, but now Bellamy has given her something with _everyone_ she loves in it. Monty and Harper had moved in together not long after graduation, so did Jasper and Maya, but Emori had moved into the house with Murphy and Wick had moved in with Raven. It was weird waking up and not having absolutely everyone in the house, but they still see each other at least twice a week. Soon, Clarke and Bellamy are planning on getting their own house, and Clarke’s had her eye on the house next door for quite a while. Maybe they’ll be lucky enough to get it.

By the time the afternoon rolls around, all of their friends are milling about the house and playing with Madi, but Clarke is hanging back in the kitchen, watching everyone else in the living room. Raven had agreed to watch Madi tonight so Clarke and Bellamy could go out but Clarke is wondering if she’d be able to do it. Madi’s only a couple of months old and Clarke and Bellamy haven’t gone out since she’s been born. _But sometimes you need time to yourself._

“Not having fun?” Murphy’s voice brings her out of her thoughts and she turns to look at him. He’s recently gotten a job at the Hilton in downtown and Clarke finds it kind of ironic.

“I am, I’m just wondering if I’ll be able to leave Madi tonight.”

“Oh, don’t be one of those people.”

“What people?” Clarke quirks and eyebrow and Murphy smirks.

“You know, the type of parent who can’t enjoy a night out for themselves because they’re too worried about their kid at home. Madi will be fine.”

“I think when you have a kid you’ll understand.”

“ _If_.”

“ _When_.”

“Alright, calm down, Blake.” Murphy holds up his hands in surrender and leans up against the counter with her. Emori is playing with Madi now and Madi is smiling almost as big as Emori is. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

Clarke turns to look at him. John Murphy was the only person she’s known to swear up and down that he’ll never marry someone, but as soon as Emori walked into his life he’s become a better man. She knows he wants a life with her. He wants a house, and a dog, and a child even if he isn’t willing to admit it right now. He grew up with a harder life than she did, and she knows that for a while he thought that the white-picket-fence wasn’t something he’d ever be able to reach. But he’s coming around to it.

“Any idea when?”

“Her birthday is coming up soon, I was thinking about taking her out for the day and proposing at that restaurant that’s a the top of the museum, you know, the sushi place?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Clarke smiles and bumps her shoulder into his. “Who knew Murphy was a romantic.”

“Oh shut up, Griffin.”

“It’s Blake.” Bellamy’s deep voice carries over all of the noise that’s in the house as he walks towards Clarke.

“Yeah, yeah, asshole.” Murphy grabs a beer from the counter behind him. “To mama Blake.” He holds the beer up in salute before heading towards the living room.

“I like it when you get all protective over me and my last name.”

“Do you now?” Bellamy smirks as he wraps his arms around her.

“Uh huh.”

“I just want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“What if I had wanted you to change your name to Griffin so everyone would know you’re mine?” Clarke challenges, quirking and eyebrow at him. She knows he loves his last name, but something flashes in his eyes and suddenly the moment is heated and his eyes look like molten chocolate.

“Anything, for you.”

“Anything?” She purrs, threading her fingers into his hair.

“Anything.” He rubs his nose against hers, bringing one of his hands up to her hair too.

“Kiss me.” She whispers and he’s close enough to where she can feel him smirk.

“As you wish, Princess,” he murmurs before pressing his lips to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 
> 
> I'm not going to lie, I cried when writing this. This was my first big story and it's been a huge part of my life for months, it's a bittersweet moment. If you've been here with me from the beginning, or even if you've just found this story, I want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for reading and I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I have! I don't think I would have been able to finish this story without the comments and kudos and bookmarks that you all have given me and if this story has lead to you reading some of my other work then I appreciate the interest you have in my writing <3 
> 
> I hope you liked it!  
> x
> 
> I have already started on my next fic and I’m planning on posting it on Tuesday, but in the time being before I post it there's my other fic "You're too good to be true" that's really fluffy and makes me happy to write, so if you want something relaxing to read I would suggest checking it out :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm wanting this to be longer than my previous writings but I'm not sure how people will react so if you love it then let me know!  
> You can find me on Twitter (@xfanwonderlandx) and on tumblr (@xxawalkinwonderland)!


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